an addiction is an addiction,

they all hurt the same

------

"Are you almost ready for the party Ty?" Craig's muffled voice called from the closed bathroom, currently cleaning himself up for that evening's affair at a friend's home since it was his birthday the previous Tuesday.

"Yeah, yeah, you should be asking yourself that instead Mr. almost an hour in the bathroom!" Tyler retorted, causing his boyfriend to yell back some curses that he had learned from his childhood in Britain.

"Yeah, yeah. It'll take us almost half an hour to get there so hurry up babe, also where's the gift you wanted to bring him?" Tyler called out as he headed towards their living room, fixing the cuffs of his button-up shirt that he decided on.

"I already packed it! Check the table!" The tall man nodded, keeping silent until he spotted the heather red bag with the top of a wine bottle sticking out, white tissue paper surrounding it. A card also let itself be slightly shown and Tyler nodded, small smile on his lips.

"Ready?" The familiar voice of his boyfriend came from behind him and Tyler turned away, awed at how handsome his lover was.

"Of course I am, if anything I should ask you that." Tyler teased as he grabbed their friends gift, walking up to his boyfriend and wrapping his arm around Craig's shoulders.

;

"Brock!" Craig was over-enthusiastic as he handed the man in front of them the gift, but the quieter man was able to reach the Britain's excitement.

"Craig! Long time no see!" Brock's excitement caused Tyler to start laughing and the much smaller man smiled even more upon seeing one of his best friends.

"Tyler, get your butt over here! I didn't even see you there!" Brock's voice was overly excited to see an old friend and Tyler reciprocated the same enthusiasm.

"Kinda hard to not see me Brock." Tyler's teasing tone caused Brock to punch his arm lightly before pulling him into a tight hug, and Tyler forgot how much he missed his friends.

My time's been absorbed by Evan. Tyler thought to himself but he shook his head, not wanting to think about the man tonight. This night was supposed to be about Brian, him turning the big 28, not Tyler's off time fuck buddy.

Brock invited them in, telling them where the drinks were before letting them off on their own to socialize. Tyler reached for Craig's hand, intertwining their fingers when their hands had connected. Tyler wanted to focus and love Craig, not let himself be caught up in other thoughts.

He loved Craig. He loved Craig. He loved-

There stood Evan in the main room, and luckily he hadn't noticed the taller man yet.

"What do you want to drink babe?" Craig asked as his eyes roamed the drink table and Tyler forcefully peeled his eyes away to focus on his boyfriend.

"How about a diet coke? Not really in the mood to drink tonight, plus, someone has to drive us home." Tyler teased, and Craig elbowed him gently in his side before sticking out his tongue.

"Yeah yeah, I'm going to talk to Brian, go have fun talking to someone else." Craig let go of his hand and Tyler felt vulnerable as Craig left him.

Craig's hand was what was supposed to keep him focused on his boyfriend that night. Tyler looked at the hand that had lost the warmth of his lover's and he felt scared. Scared that he was going to let himself keep focusing on Evan. That he was going to text Evan the next day, asking to hook up.

Opening up his diet coke, he realized he needed some air before he should do anything else. Luckily, the porch on the front of the deck was unoccupied so the tall man was quick to make his escape, looking for the man who was causing him so much anxiety but the man in question was nowhere to be seen.

That was until he stepped outside.

Evan sat on the porch, talking to a brunette softly, their hands connected, and Tyler's air constricted at the sight of how close they were.

Why wasn't he in that spot?

No.

Evan spent more time with him, not this guy.

Stop.

"Sorry." Tyler muttered quickly and he was quick to run off of the porch, heading to the side of the house.

He leaned against the side of the house, leaning on his knees as he breathed heavily. Everything was happening at once. He breathed in heavily, his breath shaky as he did so, and he could feel tears pricking his eyes. God it was fucking freezing. Shaking his head in a sad attempt, he needed to remember what was true.

He loved Craig. He loved Craig. He needed Craig.

"Are you okay?" A voice asked and when Tyler looked up, he noticed the man as the person who had been with Evan on the porch.

Everything that was true was falling apart.