Watch your thoughts, they become your words: 16 | Start

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Cargael's POV

I hadn't forgotten my promise, though life had forced me to stray from it. Now, anger simmered within me, but I kept it in check—I wouldn’t let it dictate my actions.

I was set on pulling Ruby away from that jerk Floid, but things went south fast. Floid got cocky, grabbed her arm with me, and in the scuffle, her food spilled all over her uniform.

It was clearly Floid's fault, but Ruby shot me a glare so sharp it made me freeze. She didn’t say a word, yet her silence was more intimidating than any complaint. The feeling was the same before.

Nagawa ko siyang hawakan noon, kahit noong nakita ko siyang halos patayin na si Doug sa isang simpleng pagtitig. Nang makitang nadampian ng kamay ni Doug ang dibdib niya ay nagawa ko siyang pigilan sa pagkilos.

Pero sa unang subok ko, halos hindi ko maigalaw ang sariling mga paa. May kakaibang takot na bumalot sa akin tuwing nagbabago ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya—isang takot na hindi ko maipaliwanag.

At ngayon, naramdaman ko ulit iyon. Pareho pa rin ang bigat, ang kilabot, ngunit sa kabila ng lahat, nagawa ko pa rin siyang hawakan.

Seeing her now, covered in sauce and with her uniform a mess, only deepened the sinking feeling in my chest. This isn't my fault; it's all Floid's fault!

I shot him a glare, my disgust was clear. Every time our paths crossed, trouble followed. He'd been a thorn in my side for as long as I could remember, always stirring up the urge to fight. But we weren't kids anymore.

We'd had enough fights in the past, and reigniting that old spark would only lead to disaster. I clenched my fists, determined to keep that urge under control.

Our silent standoff was broken as Ruby, without a word, bent down, scooped up her fallen hotdogs, and tossed them in the trash before storming out of the cafeteria.

"Look what you did, Cargael," Floid sneered, crossing his arms.

I grunted, taking a step closer to him. "Me? You're the one who knocked her food over."

He shrugged, raising an eyebrow. "Only because you showed up. I was talking to her, just so you know."

I crossed my arms, leaning in with a smirk. "Another target, huh? But not her, Floid. She’s not falling for your garbage. So do us all a favor and back off."

He scoffed, taking a step closer, his eyes sharp with challenge. "And what are you, her knight in shining armor?" His tone dripped with mockery. "Face it, Gael—you’re just feeling guilty. You were going to hurt her, weren’t you? That’s low, even for you. Remember that."

His words hung in the air like a threat, daring me to respond. Nag tiim ang aking bagang para lang mag timpi, muntik ko nang malimutan ang tungkol sa leaked security footage. The sorority club is surely making my head explode right now, damn those freaks, especially Chanel.

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Flashback...

"Keep hanging out with Ruby, Gael, and I'll make sure everyone knows about your little outburst," Chanel threatened, her tone sharp and cutting.

"Think twice before spending more time with Ruby," she added, a steely glint in her eye.

"Chanel... I don't appreciate threats, but if that's how you want to play it, just remember that I can handle my own battles. Don't underestimate me."

"Hmm, I know, babe. That's what makes you even hot, making me wet..." she chuckled.

"What do you want?"

"Why suck at that lifeless bitch, hm? Hangout with me, instead. I'm more, yummy, babe..."
              

End of flashback...

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What a hassle... I could feel Aoike's glaring eyes somewhere... Tapos may estupido pang ume-epal.

"Fuck off, Floid," I warned and was about to leave to follow Ruby but he utter something. His taunts were like fuel to a fire I was desperately trying not to ignite.

"So, what are you doing right now, Gael? Saving her ass and then what? Make her fall in love, ditch her afterwards?"

"And so what? May reklamo ka?" giit ko nalang at umalis na.

I waited not long enough before she got out. She instantly throws a death glare but I couldn't fight back. I could barely look straight at her until I notice her appearance.

She looked like a total mess. Damp face, drenched clothes and messy hair. Nakakadagdag takot pa ang hitsura niya sa paraan ng pagtitig niya sa akin ng makalabas sa restroom.

And when I happen to lower my gaze to her lips... bigla nalang sumagi sa isipan ko ang ginawa ko noong nakaraang gabi. Muli na namang nabuhay ang inis sa aking sarili kaya nag karoon din ako ng lakas na hawakan siya ulit at hilahin paalis.

Not minding everyone's stares, we headed to the locker's room so I could get her my extra uniform.

She was hesitant at first but ended up changing with it. She's quite tall and my size just neatly fit to her, though quite loose but it's better than those uniform with gravy sauce. Nagkasagutan pa kami't lahat-lahat. Ang hirap niyang pakisamahan.

"Are you jealous?" giit niya pagkatapos ng maraming sinabi.

My jaw tightened as I listened to her accusation. Jealousy? The word landed like an unexpected slap. All I wanted was to set things right, ganito ba kahirap pakiusapan ang mga babae?

Napangisi na lamang ako sa inis, hindi ko pa makuhang kausapin si Aoike dahil inuna ko itong baliw na babaeng 'to.

The weight of guilt twisted within me like a raging maelstrom, a constant reminder of the accident I had caused. But her dismissive attitude intensified the turmoil within.

Every attempt I made to make things right felt hollow, a pathetic attempt to apologize for my mistake.

It seemed as if my sincere intentions were being stomped on, making my attempts meaningless in her eyes. The more I tried to fix, the more it seemed like an useless effort, lost in the shadow of her apathy.

She's undeniably, rude.

Huminga ako ng malalim, sinubukang kumalma pero nakaka gago parin sa pakiramdam. Tuloy ay nahampas ko ang locker sa likuran niya, nabuhos ko roon lahat ng sama ng loob habang nakipagtitigan sa mga mata niyang kung tignan ako, parang ako na ang pinaka masamang tao sa mundo.

Her stares where suspicious. Her distrust or wariness of me makes me think of what I have done so wrong? Pero, masisisi ko rin ba siya? Hindi rin kasi may kasalanan ako at iyon ang sinusubukan kong gawing tama. 

May mga nasabi rin ako... I know my mouth could be so harsh and my actions as well, nagagalit lang talaga ako dahil hindi niya nakikita ang sinusubukan kong gawin.

I heaved a sigh, composing myself, I didn't know women could be this hard.

"No, I'm just reminding you that you don't know who you're talking to."

At sa lahat pa talaga ng makaka-usap niya ay iyon pang si Floid? Ugh, that moron.

"Fuck off, will you?" she grunted. Hindi rin naman ako nila kilala, ano bang ikinagalit mo ron?"

Well, knowing Floid and his dirty ploys. Aba, siya na nga tinutulungan siya pa may ganang magalit? Tama lang na magalit ako 'no? Sa payat at pangit niyang 'yan?

She don't know what could Floid and the rest of his gang can do to weak girls like her... She could be a victim... No, she was already a victim. That goddamn teacher, ginawa niya ulit.

A wave of frustration crashed over me, and doubts surged in my mind. Ganito naba ka laki at karami ang mga kasalanan ko at pinaparusahan ako't minamalas ngayon? 

I needed to clarify myself first, to make things right not just with Ruby but also to ensure Aoike understood that none of these was intentional; none of it was meant to hurt or bully Rubianna. 

Right, one at a time, Gael. Take it easy. It must be clear to me that It wasn't just about Ruby; it was about proving that I wasn't the person they might have thought I was. You can do this, Cargael.

"You're talking so much right now. Your sarcasm even got worse." pantutukoy ko. Hindi naman kasi magiging ganito kahirap kung hindi dahil sa ugali niya.

"Yeah? At least I know when to stop and shut up; do you know when you'll shut yours?" ganti nito sa'kin at ayan na naman ang mga mata niyang gusto ata akong patayin sa tindi ng titig. "It is when an issue is none of your business."

None of my business? 

Tss, if I only knew my efforts could be this blur to someone, I could have just swallow the guilt.

I can endure alone but if it weren't for Chad and Aoike, I won't rub my ass so hard just to make it up with this girl who I hate for some reason. All that matters to me are my friends, I'm just merely trying to be not the bad guy anymore.

Kanina pa ang uwian at iniwan ko ng mag isa si Ruby sa Cafeteria kanina kaso hindi ko pa makuhang umuwi.

Naka ilang hithit na ako rito ng sigarilyo habang nakasandal sa kotse ko. Palihim na tiningnan ang mga angulo ng security cameras.

Hindi ko rin alam anong sinusubukan kong gawin dito, talagang nagpapakalma lang ako ng ulo at kalaunay nabagot. Tanging ako nalang din ang natira dito sa parking lot.

I was so tired for the night to check some unopened message, emails and missed calls.

All of them are from Dad.

If it wasn't him, its mom begging for me to comeback. However, I am too consumed with overflowing thoughts that made my battery shutdown.

Huling hithit ko na sa yosi at itatapon ko na sana kaso aatakihin ata ako sa puso ng makita ang pagmumuka ni Ruby sa mismong tapat ng kotse ko.

Kulang nalang mag suot siya ng mask at may hawak na kutsilyo tapos pwede na siyang bumida sa scream. Talagang nakakatakot ang pagmumukha niya.

"What?" natatakot kong tanong.

"Just staring at my mess." she murmured.

"What do you mean?" kung ano-ano nalang talagang lumalabas sa bibig niya.

"And I'm wondering what kind of mess I'm staring at. One I'd clean someday or one I'd throw somewhere."

I scoffed. "You are really rude."

"Of course, I knew that before you did." barumbado niyang sagot. What kind of woman who'd spit something so cruel?

"The way you're staring really feels insulting." I complained and sighed, "What's in your head?"

"You'll get scared."

"You're already scary." makatotohanan ko namang saad.

"I am only planning what would be your death description in your death certificate. Cause I'll definitely be the one writing it for you."

Gusto ko siyang sapukin dahil sa sinabi niya. Baliw na siguro 'to. "Ihahatid na kita." presenta ko nalang dahil pagod nadin ako.

"'Wag na, baka ibunggo mo na yung sasakyan mo sa kung saan para patayin ako."

I made a face, hindi ko talaga makuha kung paano siya mag isip. "Gabi na, ihahatid kita."

Saglit siyang natahimik saka tumingin sa labas ng parking lot. Ilang saglit pa siyang tumitig doon bago bumalik ng tingin.

She's really weird.

"I can manage..." aniya at lumihis na.

Prente siyang nag lakad sa gilid ng kotse at may sinipat. Tumingin din naman ako doon and I almost gasped. "You owned that?" nagugulat kong tanong.

Ilang araw ko naring nakikita ang Ducati Streetfighter. And it is not only a Streetfighter but it was the V4 Lamborghini. Gusto ko pa sanang bumilib sa motor kaso ngumingitngit sa utak ko kung pagmamay-ari nga niya ba talaga ito.

Ducati has created a hyper-exclusive model, inspired by the Huracàn STO. Its citeria green and contrasting parts in dac orange really got me mesmerized. Halos kumakalahati sa pera ko sa bangko ang presyo ng motor na 'yan! How could she afford that kind of luxury?

"Flat,"

"Huh?"

"Baymax is flat..." may halong galit sa boses niyang iyon.

"You mean your bike?" nilingon niya ako pero tumitig lang siya.

She then trailed off and grab her keys. Agad niyang tinalon ang motor at pina andar ito. Shit, ang cool ng tunog but to my surprise bigla siyang hindi nakatukod ng umaktong bababa, buti nalang nahawakan ko kaagad ang motor at parehang bigat nila ang sinalo ko.

"Ayos kalang?" pagtatanong ko pero tanging mura niya ang lumabas sa bibig niya.

Saka siya yumuko kaya inayos ko na ang motor at doon ko narin nakita ang sinusubukan niyang tansyahin. Siguro tinatansya niya kung kaya pa ng likurang gulong ang bigat niya at ng bike. Mukang ang laki ng butas ng gulong, nangunot pa ang noo ko dahil mukang sadya ang pagka butas.

Sino naman kaya ang gagong gagawa ng ganyan? Pero loko rin ang mga tao dito sa campus, ilang beses narin akong nabutasan ng gulong.

May mga walang hiya pa ngang kinaskasan ang dating midnight blue color ng kotse ko.

"Bitaw." she grumbled kaya agad kong sinunod.

"Ida-drive mo 'yan?" hindi siya sumagot pero andon ang bigat ng aura niya. She rev up making the engine of her bike roared like a lion.

Natulala tuloy ako dahil parang musika iyon sa tenga ko. Pero baliw lang ang imamaneho ang motor na flat. Kaso wala naman akong magagawa dahil huramentado na siya sa daan. Talagang inusukan pa ang parking lot bago umalis.

Tch, pano kung ma aksidente siya?

Ahh,  hindi ko na problema yun.

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To be continued...