Watch your thoughts, they become your words: 09 | Haunted

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"Drive me home..."

Sa kadahilanang gusto ko ng matapos ang araw na'to, hindi ko tuloy inasahan ang nakita ko sa kanya ng sinubukan kong mag nakaw ng tingin. 

I planned just a quick glance, but I couldn't resist. His eyes held a mix of tension, care, and a hint of growing confusion. I wasn't sure, but I felt drawn to uncover the deeper message behind them.

However, our conversation remained suspended, left hanging in the air, as neither of us made an effort to resume it. Sa huli ay kinain ko rin ang sinabi ko na tanga ang tatanggap sa alok niya dahil sa pagod.

Sumakay nga ako sa kotse niya na muntik na akong bawian ng buhay at nagpahatid hanggang sa kanto ng kalye kung saan naroon ang studio type na bahay na binigay sa'kin ni Adofo.

The car came to a stop, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from the side mirror. Lost in my thoughts, I struggled to find the right words to break the silence.

Hindi naman kasi ako sanay sa ganitong sitwasyon dahil sanay akong sarili lang ang kasama ata iniisip. Kung nakikipag usap man ako, 'yun ay sa mga taong kilala ko lang, tulad nina Adofo at Dirk.

And how would I know to respond in this kind of situation when words aren't my fist weapon to yield?

"Is something bothering you?" finally, he spoke.

"Oh, nothing," I replied with a nonchalant shrug, forcing a casual tone.

As I prepared to leave the car, intending to steal one last glance into his eyes, my gaze caught on his wounded hand instead. He hadn't noticed the bandage had come off, revealing a crescent-shaped mark on his still-red skin—uncannily similar to the scars on my own palms.

"Sigurado kabang dito kalang bababa? I can drop you in front of your house..."

ERrr...daming alam ng adik na'to. "I'm fine." tipid ko namang sagot.

"Call me when you got home..." hindi ito tumigil at inabot pa ang calling card niya. Kinuha ko nalang din iyon dahil ramdam ko na hindi siya titigil kapag hindi nasusunod ang gusto niya. 

I got out of his car and slammed the door shut, waiting there for him to drive off without bothering to say goodbye. My mind swirled with guilt over how my actions had hurt him, but bit by bit, the memories blurred, fading under the weight of exhaustion.

With a frustrated sigh, I made my way down the street until I reached my door. I paused, letting my senses take in the surroundings before deciding to go inside. I felt the intense gaze of unfamiliar eyes watching me, though I couldn't tell where it was coming from.

As soon as I stepped inside, I abandoned my usual routine. I didn't bother turning on the lights, grabbing something to eat, or even changing my clothes. Moving sluggishly toward my room, I felt weightless, as if I were drifting like a loose sheet of paper.

When I pushed open the door, my suspicion was confirmed—the same sleek, grey-black cat from last night was back, lounging in my bedroom. Its intense glare made me feel as if I were the intruder here, even though this was my home. Sitting by the window, the cat seemed poised, almost as if it had been waiting for my return. 

Those piercing green eyes bore into me, stripping me of any defenses, and I paused in the doorway, unsettled by its presence. Cats have always had an air of mystery, tied to hidden meanings, and I couldn't shake the feeling that this one held some unknown role in my life.

Kung ano-ano kasing katanungan ang sumasagi sa isipan ko kung bakit sumulpot ang pusang 'to. Makakain ko ba 'to? Syempre, Oo... pero ayaw ko namang gawin 'yon. Kung papatayin ko naman, sana ay kahapon ko pa ginawa. Palagay ko, pusang gala lang 'to eh at mukang ayaw rin umalis ng apartment. 

Takot ba ang mga grim reaper sa pusa? Siguro, pwede ko'tong gawing panaboy kay kamatayan.

The cat meowed and swished its tail na para bang sumasang-ayon sa naiisip ko. I'm still wondering how it got inside my room while it was locked, pero magtataka paba ako kung gayong nakapasok nga ito sa bahay eh nasa second floor ako? Balak ko pa sanang pag-isipan ang tungkol sa bagay na iyon but I was more concerned about the disturbances from both the cat and everyone else.

Removing my shoes was a struggle with my unsteady legs, but I managed before collapsing onto the bed, my right cheek pressed against the mattress. I took a deep breath, releasing my resentment toward everyone who had wronged me since yesterday.

But no matter how drained I felt, sleep wouldn't come. My eyes had been closed for an hour, yet my mind stayed wide awake, unwilling to rest alongside my body. I searched within, hoping to find a spark of drowsiness that might pull me under. But my thoughts were sharp, stubbornly alive, echoing restlessly through the quiet darkness.

With a frustrated sigh, I stretched out my arms, giving up on sleep. As I tried to sit up, I noticed something strange—the familiar edges of my bed were gone. Confused, I ran my hands over the warm, soft surface beneath me but found no boundaries.

Alertness flooded over me, and I realized I wasn't in my own bed. My eyes shot open, and I tensed, wondering where sleep had transported me. Just an hour ago, I'd been exhausted, sure I'd drift off, but now I was in a strange place, surrounded by darkness. How could this happen?

I tried to scan my surroundings, only to be hit by harsh red lights that filled my vision. I winced, covering my face with my fists to shield myself, but it didn't help. A sharp pain shot through my head, tears pooling in my eyes as the lights tormented me, pushing me close to blacking out. Just as I was ready to give in, a man's harsh growl broke through the chaos, freezing me in fear.

In a rush, I realized I was reliving the same terror the old hag had once inflicted on me. This nightmare had returned, gripping me with dread as I locked eyes with a figure who seemed almost too unreal to be true.

"This can't be..." I whispered in shock, tears streaming down my cheeks as my sanity began to fray.

"Clean it," He commanded, shoving me to the ground. I resisted, but soon found myself bound, forced into a state of helplessness and humiliation.

Panicked, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to scream, but no sound came out. Desperation took over, and I clawed at my own skin, digging my nails into my face, hoping the pain might wake me from this nightmare. But instead, I was confronted by a horrific vision: Gotti's lifeless body, twisted and unnatural, a sight that felt both inhuman and brutally cruel.

"Ruby..." His voice echoed, accompanied by a mischievous smile.

Overcome with panic, I let out a wail and leapt several meters back. But to my horror, my name kept echoing, repeated like a broken record, only intensifying my dread. I curled into a tight ball, clutching my knees to my chest as panic tightened around my lungs, and a prickling wave of fear clouded my senses.

"You're not real!" I screamed, hoping to dispel the eerie presence.

His smile vanished, replaced by a furious glare. Through clenched teeth, he muttered, "I'll keep haunting you, Ruby." Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to convince myself it was all in my head, praying this was just a nightmare.

Gripping my blanket, I pleaded for the haunting image to leave me alone. His face remained fixed in my mind, disrupting my focus like a trapped energy I couldn't shake. Deep down, I knew it was only a dream, but fear clung to me. I whimpered until a sharp meow jolted me awake, snapping me back to reality just as I felt myself slipping away.

Fuck!

Para akong umahon galing sa hukay ng sandamakmak na bangkay. Agad akong nakaramdam ng ginaw dahil sa hanging pumapasok galing sa bintanang hindi ko naman binuksan. Pero dahil doon ay nakahinga ako ng maluwag, na alimpungatan sa'king paligid at nagising mula sa bangungot, lalo na ng marinig ang ingay na galing sa pusa.

Relief washed over me as my actual bedroom came into view. But as I turned, I saw the cat intruder already sitting in the corner of my bed, watching me intently. Overwhelmed, I bit down on my hand to stifle the urge to scream in frustration.

Tears streamed down my face as I struggled to regain control, using the butterfly technique Dirk had taught me. Despite a few minutes in that calming position, my mind remained unsettled. Determined, I made my way to the bathroom, though my legs felt heavy, as if weighed down by solid metal.

Still shaken by the nightmare, I hoped that the ice-cold bathtub might offer some clarity. Curling my knees to my chest, I sank into the water and eventually drifted into a fitful sleep. Hours later, I slowly awoke, feeling a strange clarity. Umalis ako sa tub at agad na sinuot ang aking roba.

I stared into the mirror and recoiled at the reflection—a pale, almost corpse-like face, with dark circles etched beneath hollow eyes. A raw scrape on my cheek stood out, a reminder of my desperate attempt to wake from the nightmare through pain. 

Frustration welled up, and I muttered curses under my breath. Determined to shake off the lingering anxiety, I scrubbed my skin fiercely, as though trying to wash away an invisible weight of guilt and fear.

Stepping out of the bathroom, the intensity of the sunlight streaming through the window nearly overwhelmed me. Shielding my face, I swiftly pulled the heavy drapes closed, blocking out the harsh rays.

I yawned, noting the start of another morning. Confused, I realized I hadn't opened the windows last night. A cat couldn't have done it, but I decided to ignore it for now. Oddly, the cat itself was nowhere to be seen in my room.

After getting dressed in my uniform and trying to look alive, I headed to the kitchen. There, the cat sat on the table, staring at me with that unsettling look again.

"What?" I muttered, while searching through the cupboard. For breakfast, I settled on peanut butter and biscuits. Leaning against the counter, I scooped a generous amount of peanut butter and licked it from the knife, all the while facing the peculiar feline.

"Meowww." ungol ng pusa na parang nanghihingi. Pero hindi ko ito pinansin dahil kung wala siyang kain, pwes ilang araw din akong walang matinong kain. Ni hindi ko nga parin magawang ngumuya ng maayos dahil sa panibagong sugat ko sa mukha.

As I looked around my apartment before heading out, I felt the cat's eyes on me, almost like it was saying goodbye. It made me feel strange, but I brushed it off. When I got to Lyceum, that uneasy feeling still lingered, like something just wasn't right. I tried to push it aside, knowing I had enough on my plate without adding more.

Yet, from the moment I set foot on campus, there was this unsettling sense of déjà vu—a mix of old nightmares, the eerie stares from people I didn't know, the mystery of the open window, and the cat that just showed up out of nowhere. It all felt like pieces of some bigger, darker picture.

I couldn't just dismiss it as random. It felt too much like the bad luck I'd left behind was now shadowing me here. Ever since that day Chanel slapped me, things hadn't felt quite right. I used to think I could control my own fate, but lately, it felt like someone else was pulling the strings. Yet, despite all of this, I kept going, even if the weight of everything sometimes made me think about quitting altogether.

Despite under pressure from powerful, shadowy figures, I managed to turn some of their own tactics against them, quietly diverting resources just to survive. For a while, it worked; they even gained from my actions. But eventually, they caught on and clamped down hard. The few chances I'd found to slip through their grip were quickly shut, and I had to scramble to adapt all over again.

Now I was stuck—exhausted, anxious, with no clear way forward.

I began to understand that depending on others wasn't always the safest route. Thankfully, I'd learned how to manage the control they tried to exert. My defiance made them furious. They weren't used to losing control over anyone, let alone over me. But they didn't care about what I wanted—they just wanted their hold back, at any cost.

These thoughts circled through my mind as I walked down the hallway, suddenly feeling exposed, like a spotlight was following me. I couldn't shake the feeling. What was it about me that put me under this kind of scrutiny? Why did it feel like everyone was just waiting for me to slip?

How rude of them.

I'm just trying to keep a low profile, live my life quietly. So why am I getting so much attention? Are people avoiding me because they find me off-putting? I even covered my face to hide the bruises. I stopped outside the classroom, feeling a heavy, tense vibe from inside. Their stares were sharp, almost like weapons ready to cut me down, as if they wouldn't stop until they'd drained me dry.

I tried to ignore them, but a soft chuckle broke my focus. It came from Roark Junior, just right in front of my chair. He probably didn't even realize I was already there.

"What the hell?" he blurted, staring at his phone. "I didn't know Rubianna was into ancient artifacts!" He broke into hysterical laughter, but when he turned and saw me standing there, the laughter died in his throat, and the room went dead silent. Then, with a twisted smirk, he shouted, "Well, look who it is—our very own infamous p*rn star!" His voice dripped with cruel amusement, each word aimed to cut.

As I contemplated his words and the piercing gazes of everyone in the room, a realization dawned upon me. I didn't need any further explanation or clarification. I already had a clear understanding of what was happening.

Si Rolds talaga, walang paawat.

Hindi paba sapat ang mga paghihirap ko? Probably not, I deserved to be punished for my deeds. I was left speechless, but I could feel the rage building inside me. It was something I had no control over, something that threatened to consume me, to pull me out of my skin, out of my mind, out of myself.

Just when will these, things stop happening to me? I'm tired, Ruby...

My eyes shifted to my side, and I frowned as I stared at the girl holding her cell phone when it suddenly made a noise. "Open the goddamn door!" and I am certain that was my voice.

Bullshit.

"You know what? I'm not concerned about your written output anymore... Just give me 7 minutes of heaven, Ruby." Mr. Pedran's voice suddenly terrified me, but it was abruptly cut off when Cross suddenly grabbed her phone.

She uttered, "I'm sorry," tears streaming down her face as she spoke. I maintained my gaze on her, struggling to hold back the urge to lash out.

Ngunit wala pa naman akong ginagawa ay kitang-kita na sa mukha nito ang tinding takot. I do felt and acknowledge the anger though I found myself lost in thought. I blinked repeatedly, my mind wandering, until a loud shout from her snapped me out of my reverie.

"Y-you're so, scaaaryyyy!!!!" she shrieked as she ran out of the room, which echoed down the corridor.

"What did I do?" tanong ko at sakto namang nag tama ang pangingin namin ni Cross. Hindi naman ako nangangagat, pumapatay lang. 

Grabe naman 'yon, wala naman akong ginawa. She's the one who did something, though. Her eyes alone exude a mesmerizing look of terror and I couldn't help but gaze at it while trying my best not to grab her neck and make it crooked.

I unclenched my fists, feeling the sting where my nails had dug into my palms. My hands still shook, but I kept them hidden, not wanting anyone to notice.

I felt an urgent need to get out of there and was about to force my legs to move when someone suddenly grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the room.

I had to bend down a bit because the person dragging me was so short. There's no one else this tiny on campus, so I already knew who it was. I groaned, what's with this girl? How can she just grab me without a word and drag me away like this?

No one has dared to touch me without my permission, for the sake of their life!

Dammit.

Though I decided against breaking her arm, mostly because I wanted to leave that room too, she kept tugging me along through the crowd of people chatting and glued to their phones. Despite all the noise, I barely registered what was going on around me.

Then, I started hearing curses, and I noticed my face on some of their screens. A few people looked confused, clearly unsure who I was, while others whispered about me, assuming I was some porn star being exploited by that bastard professor—all because I hadn't passed one assignment.

Yes, I'd nearly lost my mind over that stupid seatwork. I didn't even know it was supposed to be written! Next time, I'll make sure to actually write it down. Hell, I'd carve it in stone with my own blood if that's what it takes to avoid this mess.

Pukingina lang talaga't napagtripan ako. May kumuha pa ng video. Ang galing din.

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Isn't it time I'm gonna murder someone? 

Shush!

So... Where were we?

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"Ruby, are you okay?"

I drifted back to my senses. "Huh?"

Aoike sighed, and the three of them exchanged glances. I hadn't realized Chad and Cross were present. The strong wind tousled my hair, and it was only then that I noticed we were on a rooftop. 

"Since when did we get here?"

"Is that what happened yesterday?" Cross turned to me, his face filled with an anger I hadn't seen before. "Did that maniac do something to you?" His voice was low, but there was a fury simmering underneath.

I hesitated, not sure how to answer, but Cross stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. "Ruby, tell me the truth. What exactly did he do to you?" His fists were clenched, his knuckles white. "You went through all that—and I didn't even know," he muttered, almost to himself, his voice thick with regret.

"What now?" I naively questioned. I don't want to tell him or explain what happened yesterday because I think he's crazy.

Why did he have to show me such anger as if he genuinely cared after he nearly gave my life to my reaper the day before? The latter moaned in annoyance, plainly having run out of patience.

"Ano ba, Gaeru? Stop that madness, you're making no sense," Aoike interrupted, stepping between us. "Are you on drugs or what?" she added, giving him a hard look.

It was exactly what I'd been wanting to ask since he'd first fixed those angry eyes on me. Cross seemed to snap out of it, momentarily thrown by Aoike's words, but he didn't let go of his anger entirely.

"I'm not on drugs, Aoike. And I'm making perfect sense," he shot back, his voice tense. Then he looked at me again, softer this time, but still intense. "You just didn't tell me what you went through," he muttered, as if piecing it all together.

"Bakit parang kasalanan ko?" I plainly asked myself.

Ngayon, kaming tatlo na ang nakatingin sa mukha niyang salubong ang kilay at hindi maipinta ang hitsura. When I left him in his car last night, his brows were already furrowed and it remained the same. 

"Are you listening, Cargael? Siguro nakalimutan mo, bahagi ka rin ng seryosong usaping ito, at hindi ka kailanman lumapit sa amin para ipaliwanag kung anong ginawa mo sa kanya!" ramdam na ramdam ko ang galit ni Aoike kaya naiwan nalang akong tahimik.

"Kaya pala hindi ka sumunod sa amin kahapon kasi balak mo siyang patayin?!" patuloy niya, na hindi ko inaasahan. "I thought you were already staying out of trouble, because you promised and then what, forgetting it?"

"Aoike, please— that wasn't the whole picture of the story!"

"No, friends don't lie!"

"I didn't lie, I couldn't just tell it before this happens,"

I reckon this is an entirely different story, hindi na'to akin. 

"Not now, Aoike." he pleaded.

"No! Explain to us right now. What did you do to her?"

I too waited to see what he would say, but I was little disappointed. Saying the exact same thing. "It was really an accident... I don't intentionally or even wanted to hit her! Believe me!"

Aoike seemed somber. But why is she so enraged about it? I am the one who should be angry, but I cannot afford to be angry as well. I've already told myself not to worry about it and will wait for him to eventually speak. If he would..

To be continued...