Authors note: AAAAAAA I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR SO LONG!!!! i just want to thank you, the reader, for still being here. hearts for you <3. as promised, here is my painting. It doesn't go very well with the story, but here it is anyways!

hope you like it! now, settle in and enjoy the storyyy (comment+vote :D)

Warnings: Mention of self harm scars, wanting to die. May be triggering.

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"I wonder what Crown Prince Namjoon will think about this, peasant."

No. You refused to believe it. King N-Namjoon? From the Dummy's guide to Korea book? The one who lived up to 116 years old? Grandma, this would be a great time to save me...

You shut your eyes tightly, your whole body trembling in fear, tears blurring your vision. I cannot die like this. Please. The figures of the two generals in front of you became hazy blocks of colour, as the thought of death in the hands of these people made you sick to your core. Once again, you shut your eyes in the hope of a magical spell to cast you away from this land. A childish wish.

Then,you felt large, calloused hands that picked you up by your shoulders like you were nothing more than a sack of potatoes. You screamed in fury. You thrashed and kicked, meeting solid muscle with each jab of your elbows and thud of each kick, rendered powerless against the force that would undoubtedly kill you as soon as your feet met the ground. As dread twisted in your gut, you peered down at your arms, some of the scars still tinged with red, others faded into a bone white. The voice in your head spoke shrilly, making your headache even worse. What these disgusting generals don't know is that you want to be killed. It is a small blessing to keep your hands clean. At least you'll be all alone, like you deserve to.

You felt yourself being lowered to the ground, as you glanced at the wheelbarrow behind you which had been your safety and shelter for the past 24 hours. That damned horse. You landed on the stone road shakily, the same one you had been on only yesterday. Now, you were trembling so much you fell to your knees. You chuckled darkly as you felt your knees scratch and bruise as you fell. Pain. Our only friend.

"Weak, are you?" You opened your eyes, now glazed over, as you ignored the looming presence of General Kim, smirking at the warm blood leaking from the fresh cuts on your knees. Sadist. You clamped your hand over your mouth.You almost said that out loud. You heard a tinkling laugh behind you, which could only have been from General Park. You looked down at the road in shame. It was messy, unfeeling, and bare. Just like you.

"What is that garment you are wearing, peasant?" General Park asked suspiciously, after his eyes raked over you in all your glory. Hoodie, sweatpants, and all, which were now crumpled and dirty from the previous day. You gulped, mute with horror, as you saw something sharp and silver glint at the general's side. "Commoners are not allowed to wear anything but white, peasant." The only thing hiding your face from the generals was the bucket hat on your head, pulled down low, shadowing your face. Kill me like this. You begged. Kill me so I remain identity-less when I die. Forgotten. You reached for the hat on instinct, pulling it down lower, so that even your vision was obscured. Make it quick.

"Is that a veil?" That deep voice said, right in your ear. Your heart jumped. "Men don't wear veils...unless this commoner is a spy." They thought you were a man? The shapeless clothes, your hair tucked into your hat, face hidden by your hat as well. Good. It will give them a shock when your hat falls off while they drag your corpse to wherever after murdering you. You heard footsteps come closer from behind you. "If he's a spy...we shouldn't kill him on the spot. Prince Namjoon would want to torture him first, see what he knows. Then a public execution. A delightful gift of killing a traitor before his majesty's coronation to become King, don't you think, General Kim?" General Park said casually, his high voice smug. Hangings, beatings and public executions were a common sight...You remembered from that wretched Korean book. You blanched. Death was what you wanted, wasn't it? You looked at the careful cuts on your arms for confirmation. Then why am I so scared?

Suddenly, you felt the sharp edge of an object being held against your throat. It was pressed against your neck so hard, you could almost see the thin cut it would make. Just a slit to the throat, and you'll be gone. The only sign that you were alive was your pounding heart, fear feeding it to go faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, till you could no longer feel it. "Stand up and walk if you value your life." The baritone voice said. You jumped up, only for your knees to give out. You didn't value your life.What was the point in this? Hold on. Hold on. You got up again, legs trembling with every step.You felt a frayed rope being roughly tied to bind your wrists together. "This should incapacitate him. Get him on your horse." General Park's sing-song voice said, seeming almost...excited? You lost control of your bladder, a damp spot growing on your pants.

"Remove the traitor's veil to confirm his identity." General Kim said emotionlessly. You felt your beloved bucket hat being ripped from your head. Your eyes were immediately blinded by feeble sunlight. You blinked. Both the generals eyes widened as big as saucers.

Your long, midnight hair came tumbling down. Now the tears really began to fall. They were going to kill you now. "Exquisite..." General Park scanned you from head to toe, wrapping a piece of your hair around his fingers. You felt immensely uncomfortable, but you couldn't even wrap your arms around yourself. Your cheeks reddened. Please don't do anything to me. Don't touch me. Please. Please. General Kim kicked General Park's leg hard. "Stop. staring. at. her. Who cares if she's attractive, she's a commoner and possibly a spy." He hissed, as you strained to hear what he said. A-Attractive? Your fear-addled brain didn't think much of it as you were thrust over General Kim's shoulder. You spotted the gleaming knife which had just been at your throat at his side. Do it. Your trembling hand reached forward. Almost there, just a quick slit to the throa- "Kneel, girl." Your heart almost fell out of your chest as you were thrown onto the kneeling horse who looked like Lysandra. You felt General Kim sit down behind you, his arms coming around you to hold the reins. He brought the reins down, and the horse stood up and started galloping, General Park bringing up the rear with his own stallion.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

With every bump in the road, you were pushed against General Kim's chest. You wanted to shrivel up and die. You couldn't stop the shaking of your fingers, your pounding heart, the dread building up in your stomach. You would be butchered like a pig. You stroked the horses silky, black mane, similar to your own, to calm yourself. But it didn't do anything to help the bile building up in your throat. You felt the horse nuzzle into your touch. "She likes you. I didn't know she had a taste for criminal girls." You could almost see the sneer on General Kim's face.

The rhythm of the horse galloping was similar to that train running over tracks. That was...only yesterday. Only yesterday, when you were making your usual commute to school. And now there would be none of that. Whatever weird reality you had been placed in...well, you weren't going to live for much longer anyways, why spend the last moments of your life worrying about something like that?  The soothing rhythm of the horse made you sleepy, your eyes fighting to stay awake. Eventually, you gave in, and welcomed the darkness yet again. Just a little nap...

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