And so I spent the summer with my mum. We don't do much because Privet Drive is like an arse. Mum would often catch me spying on the Dursleys (not my fault that Mrs. Dursley sticks her long neck over the fence to see what we do) and reprimand me, which did nothing. I laid on my bed and had my guitar. I strummed it because I got bored.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of a rock hitting my window. I rolled my eyes and rolled down the window. "So out of all the ways you decide to get my attention, you chose to smash a small rock against my window?" I say in a monotone voice.

"Well it's more fun this way," Fred said, grinning a bit.

"Is my son Harry here?"

"Yes, and how is he your child?" George asked.

"Because I've nursed him from the moment he stepped foot onto Privet Drive."

When Harry peeked at the commotion, I said, "There's my beautiful son! Wait here, Haribo Bear. Let me get my stuff."

And so I packed up and got in the car. Harry rolled his eyes at my new nickname for him. "So Haribo Bear, what is up with the Dursleys and how is Diddy the pig?" I say, teasing Harry.

"Well, the house elf of the Malfoys is trying to get me to not go to Hogwarts."

"Meaning he took all these letters," I said, handing the letters I stole from Dobby when he accidentally came into my house.

"Thanks Ruby!"

"No problem, Haribo Bear."

And so we came to Ron's house and it looked like it could not fit every Weasley that was underage. "So this is where the famous Weasleys live," I mused.

"You're making me blush," Fred said at the same time as George.

And so they went home and Mrs. Weasley was there waiting. She yelled mainly at the twins and Ron for sneaking out, and she didn't seem much different from my mum when she yells.

"And welcome Ruby and Harry. I expect you wrote a note to your mum saying that you came here," Mrs. Weasley said with a warm smile.

"Yup, had to be last minute though. Otherwise Freddy bear and Georgie boy would be throwing stones at my window."

"Well I don't blame you both for not getting good sleep so-"

"No need, Mrs. Weasley. I'll help Ron with the gnomes," Harry said.

"I would love some sleep though. I need that beauty rest," I say, yawning.

And so I had Charlie's room all to myself and slept. Five hours later, Mrs. Weasley woke me up for breakfast. I came down and started on my egg and bacon. "We'll go get your materials today," Mrs. Weasley said.

"Ah, you must be Ruby. So which of my sons do you hang out with?" Mr. Weasley asked as he noticed me.

"I talk to Ron sometimes, Fred and George are my idols, and Percy is just too much of a stickler for the rules," I say, still chewing my bacon.

Percy glared at me as I said, "I break rules, Perfect Percy. Deal with it."

"Now look at what you did to this girl. Fred, George, do you have anything to say?" Mrs. Weasley asked with a motherly look.

"We are so proud of our new generation," Fred said with George nodding with enthusiasm.

And so we went and met Hermione and her parents. We went together to get our books, and we had to get a lot of Lockhart books. So we went over to the bookstore and saw a man with golden blonde hair and an egotistical smile sign autographs.

"Who's he?" Harry asked.

"Only one of the most self-conceited brat in the world," I say, wrinkling my nose.

I met up with Lyn and Elsie. Lyn hated him too (Elsie just admired him). "Hold up, it's the Boy Who Lived! Along with the daughter of Black and the daughter of Severus Snape!"

"And look, it's the biggest dunderhead in all the land," I say sarcastically, making Mrs. Weasley glare at me and Elsie to duck behind her book.

"Well these children were hoping to buy my books-"

"Because we don't have a choice and if we did then we'd choose something better," Lyn put in while snarling.

"But now it's free of cost and signed," Lockhart said, giving the books to us.

I give my set to Fred and buy my own set (with no autographs). Malfoy then comes up and says, "Looks like we have some famous people here."

"Do you want another knuckle sandwich?" I asked, cracking my knuckles.

"You better not put a finger on my son!" the same man that insulted me last year said.

"Ok," I said. I then slightly touched Malfoy on his shoulder.

"Where is your mudblood mum?"

"Nowhere near you because you suck."

"R-ruby, j-just leave it," Elsie said, stuttering a bit.

"Oh another mudblood, Draco told me about that filthy girl."

And so I kicked him right in the stomach. Mr. Weasley and who I assume is Mr. Malfoy fought (somehow Mr. Malfoy fought while holding one of Ginny's books). I cheered for Mr. Weasley as Mrs. Weasley tried knocking sense into Mr. Weasley. Finally it was broken up and Mr. Malfoy thrust the book upon Ginny and left. What I noticed was a new book that had never been there before.

"A fine role model you were in front of the children! Now what would Gilderoy Lockhart say?" Mrs. Weasley said, scolding Mr. Weasley.

"It doesn't matter because if you're famous you're famous?" I said, shrugging as Mrs. Weasley shot a look at me.

"What is a mudblood?" Elsie asked with her usual soft voice.

"A mudblood is a slur for saying muggleborn. Anyone who says that basically wants the whole wizard community to fall to shambles. Without muggles, wizards and witches would be wiped out and be nothing but fairytales," I said, spitting every word with distaste.

And so I spent the days drawing and playing pranks with Fred and George using the book I got from Cedric Diggory. Finally, on September first, we got onto the Hogwarts train.

When I tried, I felt a barrier. I cursed at Fred, thinking he did this. I wrote to Professor Snape, in hopes that he would reply. I waited and waited until finally he came and brought me to Hogwarts. "Now I wonder why the platform would act up like that," Professor Snape said, thinking out loud.

"That has got to be the magic of a house elf," I said, frowning at the thought.

And so we flew and Professor Snape let me go off to my dorm. I jumped in and went to sleep. Luckily it was a dreamless sleep. The next day, classes were up in session and Snape, as usual, favored the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws along with the Slytherins. Finally I had Defense Against the Dark Arts with Ravenclaws.

"Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher... me! Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him," Lockhart said, while I was almost falling asleep.

"I bet you annoyed the banshee so much that it decided to not deal with you because you're a blundering idiot," I say, groaning a bit.

"Now I decided to start off with a test. Finish this within thirty minutes."

When we saw the questions, it was all about him. I looked at Lyn and she shared my mischievous grin. Lyn just read a book while I made up fake answers. It was all questions like:

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

What, in your opinion, is Lockhart's greatest achievement?

The questions went on until question fifty four (When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday? What would his ideal gift be?). And so the whole time I made up answers about him.

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? Dove blue because he's depressing too.

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? To get a life because he has no life. His life has been a lie.

3. What, in your opinion, is Lockhart's greatest achievement? Breathing air on this earth. He's so dumb that I can't believe he can even breathe.

And so the questions came and let's just say that I made him like the stupidest person alive. Like for example:

23. What is Lockhart's favorite movie? A documentary of himself.

35. Who did Lockhart date? Let me see... no one because he's a git and you'd have to be stupid to date him.

42. Who is Lockhart's idol? Himself

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday? What would his ideal gift be? I dunno, he came from a planet out of this solar system and got adopted. It's impossible to know when his birthday is because everyone on the planet is stupid. His ideal gift is a picture of his biological mum from the planet he's from.

I turned it in along with everyone else and me and Lyn fist bump each other. We had done something stupid to his test. Well, Lyn had done nothing but still it was a good thing.

"Well now, only one person knows my favorite color is lilac. And no one remembered anything else about me. How disappointing," Lockhart said while passing back the tests.

When he came across Lyn's test, he said, "Is there anyone named Gwendolyn Snape here?"

"That would be me, sir. Though I'm called Lyn or Ms. Snape by most teachers," Lyn said with a smirk.

"Your test is empty."

"I hardly see what this has to do with Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Well, it's good to know about me."

"It's a waste of time. In the meantime, I just finished reading an actually good book instead of some waste of fine print."

A lot of people snickered as he just ignored her. I raised my hand and Lockhart gestured for me to speak. "Sir, I believe every answer I put here is correct," I say with the sweet innocence of a Hufflepuff.

All the Hufflepuffs were worried for me as Lockhart said, "Very well, what are your answers?"

I read out each and everyone of them and it got people laughing (the sane ones that hate Lockhart). They were all laughing as I saw his left eye twitching. When the class was done, everyone had a smile on their faces and congratulated me on the way out. Me and Lyn went over to our Potions class and started making a lot of copies of my test paper.

"May I ask what you are doing?" Professor Snape asked with a glint of mystery in his eyes.

"We are going to send out the truth of Lockhart's existence. Can you pass it out to the staff?" I said, handing out some of the papers.

"It would be very disrespectful to a fellow staff member. I'm in. He was an insufferable idiot anyways," Snape said, fake thinking before grinning.

And so we passed out the tests to everyone, and mostly everyone had a smile on their faces. Even the staff members enjoyed it and hid it when Lockhart was in the room. At dinner, I entered and we sat with the Gryffindors this time.

"Nice seeing you guys after last year. You guys know the idiot of a teacher?" Astrid said, spooning some tomato soup to her mouth.

"I wrote a biography of him," I said, passing out an extra copy.

She giggled and said, "As I expected of you, Ruby."

"Well, I hate how he always talks about himself. He thinks he's so important," Lyn said while reading a book.

Elsie was quiet until I said, "What is your opinion on this matter?"

She went red and muttered really quietly, "I read all his books this summer and I like him. He's handsome and all. Also I passed his test with flying colors along with Hermione."

"Nooooooo, he brainwashed our baby's mind! Elspeth, come back to us! We need you!" I say dramatically, which makes a bunch of people turn our way.

"You girls should be at your own table," Percy said sternly.

"Well we decided to sit with each other," I say, looking at Percy with distaste.

"You are breaking the rules."

"And the rules are stupid because it shouldn't matter whatsoever. Also you aren't my mum so please kindly get back to whatever you were doing."

Percy went red and went off with a huff. I kept on eating as Astrid explained how attached Lockhart was to Harry.

"Alright, should Harry live the meanie Dursleys, an arrogant git who cares only about himself, or me, the greatest angel of a mother ever lived?" I asked jokingly.

"At this point, you'd be a better mother than all of the other options," Lyn said with a sigh.

"Also Lockhart sent out Cornish pixies against us! Now I have an ugly scar because of it," Astrid huffed, obviously hating the teacher.

"Could we see?"

"It's very ugly."

"Alright y'all, let's get this over with. We listen and we don't judge," I said, Lyn and Elsie joining in.

"Fine."

Astrid pulled aside some of her straight red hair and there were three lines on the side of her right eye. "I've never had a scar in my life and this is ugly," Astrid said with a sad sigh.

"Aw don't worry girl. That scar makes you seem like a warrior. My cousin once removed almost died but she has a long slit on her arm because of whatever she was facing. The details aren't clear because my mum never talks about my family. Now I wonder who is in my family?" I say, assuring Astrid.

"We could see in the library perhaps," Lyn suggested.

And so we found a very thick book of ancestry and started looking. Finally we found the Blacks. My smile faded when I saw how the Malfoys were in fact related to me. There were a lot of people which I conveniently don't know or just forgot completely.

We went to bed and something told me that we were going to have an adventure.