"Her silent pain"
How will this ache fade away
Everyone says it subsides by time
Get healed by time
But no one says how do we come over this ache
That keeps rebouncing in our heart Everytime
How do we get over one sided love that it don't hurt more
How do get over the fact that mom is no more
How do get over the constant loneliness that keeps seeping through my soul
I always wanted love
Possessive about whomsoever I loved
May be it was my fault
To hold the ropes of hopes
When I knew my relation will crumble down
I did whatever I can do to let my love get known to him
Still it lost its identity when I begged him to stay Everytime
Everytime on any issue when he used to leave me
I used to beg him not literally
But yes I did in ways to never let me out of his life
After all , all I had was him
Without him I was like drowning in abyss of darkness Everytime
This time when he left me
It made me numb
I lost my zeal to beg him for the last time
He choose someone else to love
I don't know how long it was going behind my back in no time
I always knew he would never love me
But I never thought he will keep me in dark that he have someone else in his life
The day it happened
His girlfriend threatened me over call
I felt so much anger so much pain
And I cried that night all long
Mourning over the love I lost in few seconds
Without any mistake of mine
I loved him selflessly, shamelessly
But I was not that shameless to snatch him back from his girlfriend
I didn't questioned him ever on this
Silently accepted this rejection
Which broke me every second every day & night
I was in pain
I'm in pain
But I choose not to let it get in his life
If he is okay & happy with that other girl
I will also pray that he stays happy like that throughout his life
I loved him so much
That even if I write Everytime it will fall less
But I loved him truly & enough to let him go
Just like sand slipping away from my hand in no time
In this months I just hoped & prayed for his happiness
While I asked for my death from almighty Everytime
It hurts like hell
Still I always tried my best
That I don't end up giving him any kind of pain or discomfort ever in his life
I was the worst thing that happened to him
May be without me he would've been much better than what today he is in life
I crave to hug him
I crave to make him feel the pain that is settled in me deep inside
I crave to wash out everything to him
Letting my tears fall over his shoulder
Letting him know the weight I carry inside
I don't know I will get married or not
I don't even know I will be alive in upcoming time or not
It's just I know I never intended to fall so deep in love
But he made it happen just like fairy tales coming into real life
I didn't beg him this time
That don't leave me
Rather than I let him go to get what he actually deserved in life
Although I can't stop loving him still
It's just became like a part of soul
May be one day will end with my death
When for the last time may be I would be able to see his hazel brown orbs
Just as similar to my mom
While saying the goodbye.
I know he will never get to know this but hope someday in some other world we meet again with no crushed hearts that bear the pain of one sided love again in life