2.6k words

༻✦༺

(Y/n)'s POV
To my relief, it was finally announced that the ball was coming to an end after one last song.

I was glad it was ending, but the idea of another dance was excruciating to me. My feet ached, my eyes were heavy with exhaustion, and all I wanted at the moment was for Anakin to walk me to my room for the night so I could sleep for the next day or two — after I corner him and make him discuss the events of today. That kiss he gave me, along with his confession of feelings, they have yet to leave my mind. I could hardly focus on anyone or anything else for the rest of the night.

"He seems to really like you," Padmè's voice stole me away from my intrusive thoughts.

I snapped my eyes up from the spoon I had been balancing on the table with my fingertip, "What?" I questioned, automatically assuming she was talking about Anakin. I have no idea why, but since he was already on my mind, that is the thought I had, that she somehow knew.

She nudged her head to her left and I glanced in that direction to see Anthony smiling and talking with his Royal guard.

Oh, of course that is who she meant.

I nodded in agreement, "It seems he does, and he is a very kind man." I drifted my eyes back to the spoon before lifting up my finger and watching it fall, "And honorable with a heart of gold." 

I do adore him, I believe he is an amazing person and a perfect choice, but now because of Anakin's actions tonight, my heart feels heavy. Can I truly marry someone, bed them, and have their children — if I have come to the realization that my heart may very well beat the name of another? Would that not be a sad life? An unfair life?

To not just I, but to Anthony as well.

"Are you alright Princess?" Padmé asked and I simply nodded as I glared at my own frown in the reflection of the perfectly clean spoon.

"This has been a long few days and it is catching up to me." I said, sighing quietly to myself.

I wanted to tell her what happened, I wanted to tell her everything on my mind. But I could hardly muster up the words in my own thoughts, let alone speak them out loud. I feel like I must fully understand my feelings before I burden them on anyone else.

"Princess," I was called for attention by someone who was not my best friend. I glanced up and met the gaze of Anthony and he smiled softly as he held his hand out, "Would you do me the honors of gifting me with one final dance tonight?"

Without thinking about it, my eyes shifted momentarily to another figure in the room, one who has been watching me closely from afar. I met Anakin's eyes for only a second, before he looked away and it was then that I saw who he was taking to — Olivia, again. Anger instantly boiled within me. It does not seem like he was flirting with her or anything, but the utter audacity he has to be near her knowing how she treated me before felt like a betrayal in itself.

I looked back at Anthony and smiled, "You are mistaken Anthony," I stood up after placing my hand in his, "It is I, who would be honored."

He walked me to the dance floor and we got into proper position before we began to move around the floor, "Let us hope you do not have another medical emergency," He joked about my earlier dramatics when I was distracting everyone from Ahsoka and Piett's horrible idea, that I still need to scold them for.

I chuckled as I shook my head, already feeling my cheeks burn red from embarrassment, "I am sure we will be able to finish our dance this time," I said as he spun me before bringing me back to him, this time a little closer. My heart began to race and I was unsure if it was because I was nervous, or if I actually liked this man. I know I want to like him, I should like him — he was perfect in every way.

But...

My eyes drifted to my Royal guard once again and my heart raced even faster.

He was no longer talking to Olivia, in fact she was nowhere in sight. He was now staring straight at me, giving me his full attention which is really all I wanted. That is one of the reasons why I accepted this dance, I knew pulling on his jealous heart strings would provide me with what I wanted — his eyes.

I glanced away, satisfied, and gave Anthony my attention again — which I can admit was very hypocritical of me. But it was only because I did not want Anakin talking to her, anyone else would have been fine and not warranted such petty actions from me.

"I am sure you have heard this many times tonight," Anthony spoke with a soft smile, "Probably even from me. But you look stunning tonight, the color of your dress truly compliments your complexion and your eyes."

I breathed a soft laugh as I looked down to our feet that were moving with the rhythm, "You are too sweet," I could feel my cheeks burning with a blush. You would think being Princess of a kingdom would have one used to receiving compliments, but they always feel new and sometimes I feel undeserving of them.

"I hope tonight is not the last time I get to see you, I would love it if I could come by and treat you with a picnic in the garden or take you to see my own Kingdom." He offered.

At first I was hesitant to respond, and not because I did not like him, I thought he was amazing. Simply put, heart was confused, but I also needed to remind myself that as a Princess I have a duty and there are rules I must follow... such as loving and marrying a royal. So despite my heart being confused, my mind needed to be rational, "That sounds perfect, we will have to make a date." I felt a twist in my gut followed my words of acceptance, but I pushed the feeling down and held my smile.

"How is next weekend?" He asked with a head tilt, "Unfortunately I have an obligation to attend to between now and then, so that is the earliest I can make the trip down here."

Out of curiosity I asked, "What kind of obligations? If you do not mind me prying."

"No, not at all," He shook his head, "I am hosting a festival at my palace and any profits made will be used to build better and more stable orphanages around my country." His words were soft and filled with their own hidden sadness, "After losing my parents I came to realize that not many others had the support system that I was given, so I wanted to try and make a difference anyway that I could. And I feel a more stable and financed home would be a good start."

Just when I thought he could not be anymore perfect, "May I attend?"

He blinked in surprise, "You want to go?"

I nodded without hesitation, "Yes and if I may add something, why not turn it into an adoption fair as well? Maybe you can help empty out the orphanages as much as you can at the same time."

His smile widened, "That is an excellent idea, I am embarrassed I did not think of it myself."

"Happy to help, when is it?" I squeezed his hand from excitement. Whenever an opportunity arises to do good, it always catches my attention. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing you made a difference where it matters.

"Four days from now," He answered with a flash or adoration in his eyes, "Shall I send for you?"

"There will be no need, I will take my own carriage out." Anakin is not going to like any of this one bit, he hates going far distances with me. He never disclosed to me why, except that he claims to get anxious. But this is for a good cause so he is just going to have to deal with it, "And I will be bringing Padmé as well if that is alright with you."

"Of course Princess," His eyes shined under the light in the ballroom, "Bring anyone you want, the more the better."

༻✦༺

The ball was finally over and I could not wait to get into my bed. My feet were killing me and now that I no longer had any prying eyes on me, I had removed the heels I was wearing and carried them as I walked barefoot to my room. They still ached, but now it was tolerable.

Anakin was of course by my side, but he has not said a word to me, and I have not said a word to him either. I had no idea what to say. I was taking this small walk of ours to figure it out and hoping that by the time we reached my room that at least one of us would start the conversation we needed to have. I know he wanted me to forget any of it ever happened and continue our lives like normal, but that was not going to happen. I was too stubborn for that, and I may or may not have drank a few glasses of wine throughout the night, so I was feeling bold.

We reached my bedroom and Anakin was about to go straight to his that resided next to mine, but I stopped him by grabbing his arm, "I need your help getting out of the dress."

He glanced away from me for a moment before looking back into my eyes, clearly nervous, "I am sure Padmé will be here soon to help you—"

"No she will not be coming tonight," I cut him off, "She is busy with the cleaning crew and she also mentioned she was going to be making baskets with the left over desserts to give to the town tomorrow." I gestured for him to follow me inside, "So I need you."

Anakin sighed, knowing he had no way out of this and proceeded to follow me into the room and closed the door behind him, "Stand still," He instructed after he approached me from behind.

I could see him in the reflection of the mirror that was in front of me as he slowly lowered the zipper on my dress. His hand that was not on the zipper was holding onto my shoulder and I felt him gently squeeze the muscle there after he finally got the zipper all the way down.

"You know we are going to have to talk about it," I broke the lingering silence as he removed both of his hands from me.

He looked up to meet my eyes through the reflection, "Talk about what?" He asked in a monotone.

I dropped the dress from my shoulders so it would fall to my feet and I stepped out of it before kicking it to the side, all while maintaining our eye contact. I noticed his breathing change as his jaw clenched tight.

I knew what I was doing, but I was too buzzed to actually care. Besides, I always enjoyed getting reactions out of him, no matter what kind, "We are not going to pretend that kiss never happened, nor are we going to pretend you did not admit to having feelings for me."

His eyes trailed down, but he quickly looked back up, "Again, Princess," He grabbed the string on the back of my corset and began to untie it to loosen its hold, "I have no idea what you are talking about." He got closer as he slowly untied the strong.

Now I was irritated, "I guess it was a dream," I rolled my eyes, "Thankfully, it is not like I could ever see myself falling into the arms of a man who can hardly be honest about his own feelings, how pathetic." I know why he wants to forget it all, it is because of my duty and who I am, and he is right about me needing to follow it. But there was still this fire inside of me that was lit with that kiss and now it is burning.

Ignoring these feelings I now posses would be easy if he were not around, like when I was dancing with Anthony, but now that it is just him and I, I wanted to see just how deep these feelings are. And if I too feel the exact same way. I feel like I at least deserve that, to know my own feelings.

His eyes snapped back up and I could see the anger behind them, "Pathetic?" He got even closer to me, I could feel his front on my back, and he lowered his head close to the side of my neck, making me nervous, "How about you then Princess? Let us discuss your feelings."

I blinked in surprise at how quickly these tables have turned, "What, I—"

"Do you like him?" He asked softly before grazing his lips against the arch of my neck, "That King?" He said the title with a hint of disgust, as if the word alone left a sour taste in his mouth.

"He is a kind and wonderful man," I answered as my breath hitched in my throat when his had tightly held my hip.

"That is not what I asked," He sung quietly before raising his lips to my ear, his eyes on me again, "Do you like him?" He whispered.

"Yes," I answered without any hesitation.

"But?" He added.

I swallowed nervously, "But I do not know if I am capable of loving him."

"Why?"

"He-" For a moment, Anakin's blue gaze was so captivating that I almost forgot about this conversation completely, "He is perfect in every way, but in that room, all I could look at was you." How could I ever love someone who remains second in any room that he is in?

"Why?" Anakin asked again, his eyes holding a deep concentration.

"I wish I knew. You are the biggest pain in the arse I have ever known, and half the time I can not stand you or that annoying face of yours, but at the same time—"

"You want me." He finished.

Once again, we both feel silent with the only sound being our hearts beating the same rhythm, until I finally spoke again, "And I was not aware of it or how bad, until you kissed me."

He glanced down, "I never should have—"

I spun around and grabbed his face before crashing our lips together. He kissed me back instantly and held me tight until he walked me backwards and pinned me against the mirror.

I knew this was wrong, I knew nothing could ever come of this, but I did not want to think about any of that right now. I did not want to be a Royal or a Princess in this moment, I just wanted to be me and be able to listen to my own heart for once and not others voices or politics — even if my heart was going to be broken by the end of it all.

༻✦༺