chapter : 06
dirty reality

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n o o r
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"You look hot, di."

My eyes snap at Prerna who seems to enjoy this family reunion I never planned and wished for. My father angrily snaps at her, telling her to be quiet. She stifles her smile, taking a step back to join my cousins.

Kabir, who is standing next to me is appalled, I notice his grandfather frowning at first but then his lips
morph into a smile, he surely must be rejoicing in his heart at my grand identity reveal. My mother, who is still caressing my face, still eyes me so lovingly.. it hurts my soul.

I just smile at her, blinking my eyes, trying to convey
about well-being.

It's not that I have no contact with my family, it's just they haven't seen me in four years. I talk to my mom and my siblings every day, we video call and spend hours talking but it's been four whole years since I hugged my Ma, in person. Four long years but necessary years.

She is the soul of my being, the only reason I still remember my home which was no less than a boarding school. My father, well he is another story. He and I never agreed on anything, his beliefs are different from mine and our ideologies are contrasting. He is the sky and I, am the water. We might have the same colour, reflecting each other, but we can never meet. We are two parallel lines that might care for each other but will never be able to come to a common solution.

It's not that I hate him, even though we speak on calls once a week, but all our conversations end with him telling me that I should come back not because he misses me, but cause he thinks I will fail. That I am failing.

He doesn't shy away from expressing his disappointment for the choices I have made, when I was twenty-two, I decided to pack my bags and move cities, far from public scrutiny.

It was a choice he didn't support and still doesn't. But for me, that decision brought me a freedom, I never imagined for myself.

My home, my family have stern notions when it comes to living a life, you are a royal—you have to be neat, you have to wake up early, sleep early, dress properly, eat properly, speak less or don't speak at all, smile at people, be polite, be punctual, be this and be that. It was more of a hostel with so many rules than home.

It had suffocated me and made me feel trapped with my hands and legs bound. I never truly felt myself while I lived there, today, I live my own life, on my terms.

I can be messy and clumsy and irresponsible and outspoken and needy and talk and fight without thinking twice. I am allowed to unapologetically be myself. I deserve the life I want to live.

My mother supported my decision, she never voiced it out loudly in front of my family but everyone knows whose side she is on. I will never say that my father doesn't love me, he does and well so much. I know it, I have seen it but he loves his culture and traditions and the rules that had been passed down for centuries even more.

He might be angry and disappointed at me for making choices he doesn't deem right but he doesn't not love me or care for me. When I decided that I was not going to continue my stay at home, it was my college's hostel I had shifted to.

One year later, I received a courier with a letter from him and my home keys. He had stated that as I was done with college, I needed a new accommodation. He didn't write it clearly but he expressed that he was concerned about my safety and that I should not act proud and silently accept the help.

My mother had called soon after concerned about my housing back then, it was clear my dad never told her about his efforts.

He made those efforts for me. I didn't boast about them in front of my mom, and neither did he take credit for it. He loved me enough to finally help me fly even if the cage he was in still pricked him and bounded him.

"We'll be taking your leave, Mr Sood." My uncle announces.

I feel so ashamed for spoiling their event and his birthday.

It's like I am rooted to the ground, not being able to make sense of this scenario. Why did I never think of this? How did they even meet, how are they here from our city?

"Yeah, sure. We'll talk later, in private." Mr Sood repeats, still smiling at my parents and then at me.

My father takes a step towards me. Others turn back heading towards the exit. His eyes are locked with mine, I don't even know what to think at this point. He just pats my hair and smiles so softly.

We'll figure it out.

"We'll talk tomorrow. You know where, right?"

I just nod my head cluelessly. My mom and siblings hug me before they all leave the venue. I don't have any power to face Kabir and his grandfather, meeting my family has drained me of everything. I feel empty, unaware of what tomorrow will bring along.

"I'll drop you home, let's go m." Kabir ushers, guiding me out of the event not waiting for Mr Sood to make any remarks.

He simply keeps quiet, the silence bothering me. We reach and enter his car. He helps me in once he sees me struggling with my garment.

I gawk at him shamelessly, trying to make sense. He shouldn't be acting this chivalrous. He should be angry and disappointed, he should fight with me. Ask me questions. He should blame me for spoiling his plans. And deep down, as he acts opposite to the way I think he would have acted, I feel relieved.

If he fights with me, I don't have any retorts.

If he questions me, I have no answers.

A part of me is also unsure about how the meeting with my family will go. This was a dooming plan, to begin with. I shouldn't have agreed. Tomorrow they are going to rile me with queries and I have no answers prepared to save myself.

"Why didn't you ever mention about your family?"

This is his first question, one of many. I refrain from looking in his direction and instead, keep my gaze locked on the moving scenery.

A genuine piqued interest in the vehicles dashing ahead, on the trees that pass away in a blur.

"It was not important."

"I would hardly say that. It is an important piece of information, Noor."

"I didn't find it necessary to share my personal and family matters with my boss, sir." This manages to hush him.

My rude display will help me elude at least this problem.

Kabir and I merely share a professional relationship, and in no sense, I would have wanted him or anyone in my office to know who I truly am.

I have spent the majority of my life under public scrutiny, here, in this city I am just Noor who can unapologetically be herself.

"Okay, then, where is your home?"

And here he goes throwing me into another problem, I had carefully avoided adding or telling anyone about my residence but well, I guess, tonight's the night.

"I'll guide you." I spend another thirty minutes, dictating the directions to my building, thanking the lack of traffic due to it being late in the evening.

When I tell him to take the last left and we stop in front of my society, he stops the car and turns to face me.

"You fucking live in the same society?"

"Well, hello neighbour."

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thank you!

fun fact: Diplacusis is a hearing disorder where one sound is perceived in different ways by our two ears.

Uhmm... one more surprise?
the riot and ride has only just begun. Kabir and Noor are going downhill from hereon. ;)

thank you!

do vote and comment. it helps me write more :)

i got responses in the last chapters and that really motivated and helped me! i had taken a hiatus before this and returning back to something that i love so much even though made me happy also makes me
nervous and unsure. so your comments genuinely help.

thank you!

royally yours,
meethi.