chapter : 42
first time

it's almost 2 AM, and here I am with an update.

uhm, 3 more chapters to go. 🥺 it's been a journey, no?

see, when i said ✨kalesh✨ i meant every single syllable.

also, i am holding an AMA on instagram, if there's something you wanna ask/or tell me about the book or anything, let's meet there!! 

keep voting & i'll post them asap! :)

Happy Reading?¿

Uhm, yes,

Happy Reading.

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n o o r
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I feel so fucking stupid.

"Hi, beta." My dad greets me as he opens the door, ushering me inside. I forgot. I forgot they were coming tonight.

My family and Kabir's firm have already done some business projects together, most of them, I had always voluntarily backed out from just so that my identity remained a secret.

The day Kabir and I were returning home, my father and uncle sat Kabir down and discussed their upcoming hotel project. This time, I was involved. They have a meeting scheduled for tomorrow, I had completely forgotten about it.

"Is this the time to come back, Noor?" My uncle's loud voice taunts me. I look at the dining area where he is seated, Kabir emerges from our room, looking surprised at my entrance.

He must be in the washroom, that's why he didn't open the door. I greet my father and uncle, apologising for my absence. I look at the dinner that's yet to be served but is carefully arranged.

This is why Kabir wanted to leave early, but I acted stupidly.

"Noor, is this how you manage your household, huh? Making your husband do chores that you should be doing? He even came to pick us up." My uncle keeps ranting but my eyes are at Kabir who looks at me with a foreign emotion.

He interrupts my uncle's cruel words and tells them that he has loaded me with some important work. He ushers my father to the dining table, making me sit before he finally starts serving them food.

"Wash your hands, and have dinner, Noor." He softly tells me. I drop my bag on the sofa, and rushing to the wash basin in the kitchen, scrubbing my hands before I join Kabir in serving food.

The dinner is quiet with only a few words of business exchanged between my father and Kabir. My father didn't comment even a single word on my tardiness, he just smiles at me.

He kisses me on my forehead before wishing us goodnight as they call it a night soon after they are done eating. Kabir and I silently clean the table and wash the utensils before we head to the room.

I enter the bathroom first, taking a shower and doing my night routine. I dress in my night suit and leave the room only to find Kabir already on the bed.

On his side but facing in the opposite direction. I exhale sharply, while I go to lie next to him. Turning on the opposite side as well.

It's the first time. The very first time since we started sharing a room, that we weren't facing each other while sleeping.

There's so much that runs through my head, jumbled thoughts and messy feelings. How did things spiral down so badly? A lone tear escapes my eyes as I close them harshly.

I didn't want this. I don't want to do this. I wanted to talk it out, to express and explain. But I don't think I can. I can feel a wall between us as if it's shutting me out.

Even if he is just sleeping next to me, I can feel him going farther. Far away. And that makes me want to break down even more.

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The morning was no different than the previous night. We woke up, got ready and left for the office. It was as if our life was moving in a circle. Kabir had shared a ride with my father and uncle while I had come alone. Even Kabir's grandfather was going to join us.

I had let them know how we kept our marriage a secret in the office, my father had nodded in understanding. As I sit at my desk preparing for the meeting, I hear footsteps approaching me.

"Are you okay, Noor?" My father asks, his timbre lowered.

"I am, sir." I can't let the secret out, I have to keep this mask intact. I can't, I shouldn't.

"Did you two make up?" He pesters, and I look at him shocked. He is whispering his words but they don't fail to make an impact on me.

"How?"

"I am your father, Noor. I know you. And after spending time with Kabir, I know him too. You both weren't yourselves last night. Did you both fight?"

I only manage to nod my head, my eyes threatening to start leaking at any moment. He gives me a compassionate smile, taking a step towards me. His hand caresses my face gently, patting my head, he bends pecking my forehead softly.

"Talk to him. Resolve it, don't go one more day without talking, my child." He advises me and I stop the urge to stand up and hug him tightly, to weep on his chest, just like I used to do.

I stifle my tears and words, as I promise him that I will. I will make this alright. He proceeds towards the conference hall and I follow him after some time.

All the other required employees are already on their seats as I enter, taking my assigned seat. I look at Kabir, but he doesn't spare me a glance. My father sees my plight, and he mouthes the words, "It's going to be okay." I smile at him.

The meeting begins and I take all the notes religiously. I don't speak much and focus on their words and the exchange of conversations occurring. As much as I try, I can't let this entire situation not affect me.

It's bothering and hurting me, and I am sure Kabir is hurting too. I know he wants to resolve this as well, but how are we supposed to meet a common ground when we both want different things?

How can I tell him my fears without disregarding his?

"We'll sign the contract soon then, s—Kabir." My father utters the last sentence of the meeting. Kabir, his grandfather, my father and my uncle walk out first. The other employees soon follow suit.

I take my time getting up from the chair and
walking out when I am brought to a halt with a small hand. Her nails prick my skin.

"Leave my hand, Vidhi." I harshly tell her. I am already too disturbed to be able to deal with her antics.

"Ouch, hurting is it?"

"Leave my hand," I say with finality.

"Or what? Are you going to complain to your sugar daddy?" Her words prick my heart, my thoughts come to a reeling stop.

"What did you say?"

"Mr. Shekhawat? I saw how closely he was standing to you, how he kissed you. And if those weren't enough, I saw how you two were stealing glances throughout the meeting. How does it feel to climb the ladder being a mistress to a much older man?"

I can feel the bile rising in my throat at her accusations. Every time I think she can't outdo herself, she proves me wrong. How can someone hate you to the extent of spewing any bullshit they get their hands on.

She takes my silence as my answer of being guilty. Her lips tilt in a bitchy smirk as she lets go of my hand. Taking a step back, she loudly claps her hands. The thudding voices bring all the attention towards her. I pay no heed to her or the others.

I only look at the Kabir's cabin door that's closed, one that consists of the two most important men of my life. I can handle her remarks but I don't want them to hear any of it. I don't want them to be a part of my biggest insecurity.

Vidhi laughs and repeats all the sentences she had first recited to me. She adds in her spice and keeps speaking all the rubbish facts.

"You know why Kabir sir always favoured her? Because she was his key to Shekhawat Enterprises. This shameless woman was using all her resources to climb up the hierarchy ladder even if it meant being a mistress to a man who was old enough to be her father."

"Are you even registering the filth you are uttering?" I can't help but sneer at her audacity. I keep my voice low enough so that it doesn't reach Kabir's cabin.

"Oh, so you'll now try lying." She only laughs. All
our colleagues gather around us in a circle, enjoying the office drama.

"So, Noor, tell everyone, whether you did or didn't go to the Shekhawat mansion? You keep going there, don't you? You use all your vacations to visit the King, don't you? Tell me I am wrong. Try it. I have seen your tickets, I have proof. How are you going to deny those?"

"Are you fucking stalking me, Vidhi?"

"So what if I was? Sad that your dirty little secret is now out in the open? Or did you really want to keep enjoying—" I don't even think before I raise my hand slapping her across her cheek.

"Don't. Don't you dare utter any more bullshit?"

"You shameless bitch—"

"If you want to spend even a minute more in this office, you won't complete your sentence." I close my eyes at his voice. This is why I didn't want him to hear this chaos.

"Sir—She hit me, this—" Vidhi starts acting frantically, and I almost feel sorry for her.

"You can ask them, she hit me. I caught her secret—" She points out at everyone but they don't side with her. She looks at them horrified but soon walks over to Kabir.

"Sir, Noor, do you know she is—"

"Married to me. So you'll choose your next sentence very carefully of how you describe my wife."

"And my daughter."

"And my granddaughter."

There it is. The truth is now in the open, served on a platter. I love them for taking a stand for me. I respect it but I know it's where the downfall will start. A commotion breaks down amongst the employees, they hadn't looked at me so intently even when I was the mistress but now? They have disgust and hatred in their eyes. They have questions and theories. So many of them.

With every word they utter, I feel a piece of my sanity shattering. This is what I always feared. This is what I despised.

I raise my eyes to see Kabir, and he is already looking at me. I know he isn't sorry for defending me, I wouldn't expect him to be. But how can I mend myself?

Something explodes within me, and I know he can sense it too.

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the next 3 chapters, let me tell you, are my absolute favourites.

let's start the dril ahahah,  keep dropping your reviews for the book, the experience it has been and everything!

always,
royally yours,
meethi.