chapter : 37
the fuck?

surprise update ;)

uhmm...so... you all LOVE ME. REMEMBER THAT.

(if you all follow me on insta, you are already aware how I have completed writing Royally Trapped completely OFFLINE.

a honest confession : i feel the following chapters are something i always envisioned for my noor and kabir and i can promise y'all, you will love and hate and cry and laugh and enjoy every moment of the chapters left.

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n o o r
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Something is really wrong.

It's been a month since Kabir and I began the challenge to confess our feelings to each other. We had made a trip to my home and back, and all this while time has been smooth.

Three short months of us being married have passed by. We have completely transitioned into the married zone. We spend the time together talking, gossiping, laughing, dissing, fighting, stealing glances and kisses.

Sometimes those get heated up, but we stop before we finally lose control. It's edging and we are still pushing each other to confess first.

Time has been kind, we often find ourselves tangled in each other's arms the second we step into our home. But, in the office, we try to be professional.

Try.

There are days when we play hide & seek, with me sneaking into his cabin during breaks. There was that one time when he pulled me into the storage room, while I was busy taking printouts.

A hand wounded around my arm tugged me into the dark room. An involuntary shriek left my mouth, but a hand covered it.

"The fuck?" I had asked bewildered. My eyes took their own time to get adjusted in the dark.

"I missed you, baby."

Even in the dark, his eyes shone so brightly. The room was so small, barely fitted both of us.

"You just saw me at home."

"That's not enough. Nothing is ever going to be enough with you."

Everything was going well until this week. I could have been wrong but I have sensed him distancing himself from me. It's not so evident but for someone who lives with him, I can see it, so clearly.

He is acting a little strange, pulling himself back. Holding himself back. We are still following our normal routine but I have realised that he looks distracted.

It appears as if something is troubling him. I had tried asking him but he deviated from the topic. Dodging it. He has been working more, coming back home much later than our normal. These days he isn't even in the office. Attending meetings outside.

It's pinching me a little, making me weary. I am really scared for him. Is he spiralling back? Is he doubting everything?

I wish he could let me inside. I want to be there for him, to help and comfort him, if the demons of the past are back to haunt him. He shouldn't shut himself like this, he should hold my hand and bolt away, together. Just like he has always been there for me, I want him to allow me to do the same.

Today, he had again skipped office. I had asked him at the breakfast table about it only for him to reply.

"There's this one old client who wants to meet up today. I'll not be there the whole day."

There was an itch to ask him, to dig into the matter further but I couldn't make it uncomfortable for him. I have no doubts regarding him being with someone else, a woman. I trust him enough. But, I know there's something he is hiding, and I wish he could confide in me.

The day keeps passing in a blur, attending calls, and sanctioning some files. I had taken a small lunch break with Sana, she had desperately wanted to try a new restaurant nearby so we had decided to utilise that time.

Now that I am walking back to my cubicle with a full stomach, someone catches my eye. It's been a long time since I saw him here.

"Noor." He wishes. I greet him back respectfully. Kabir had told me that his grandfather had gone for retreat after their conversation.

He used to call us timely but never really showed up. He knows that Kabir and I are keeping things about our marriage a secret in the office.

"He's not here," I tell him walking to the place he is standing. Near my desk.

"I came to meet you, Noor." I have always heard him being stern, his tone resounding his aura but today he looks calmer, his voice almost loving.

"Can we talk?"

"Yes, sure." He suggests that we go out to a cafe, so no one can see us talking in the office. It's lunchtime so most of the floor is empty. I quickly agree with his idea. He leaves for the ground floor using the elevator while I take the stairs. We decide to meet at that place, separately so that there's no space for any doubts and rumours.

Even when I smile at him, there's an unsettling feeling. There's a shiver, an impending fear that is threatening to implode. After all that has perspired between us, I can't help but worry about the impending conversation.

Something in me is warning me, pushing me to the brink of anxiety. It's not going to end well.

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"Yes?" There's so much nervousness bubbling inside me. I keep stirring my iced coffee, blankly looking at him. Waiting for him to tell me the reason behind his visit.

"Noor, I shall begin by apologising to you."

He is an old man yet he holds a strange aura around him. I begin to answer but he cuts me off. "I know, Kabir and you must have spoken. But, I needed to do this personally. I shouldn't have ever treated you that way, and more, I shouldn't have been the reason behind Kabir's hesitation. It took me some time to finally come to terms with my mistake. I have been way too harsh on him."

"I know you meant well. I didn't take your words to heart. I understand." And I do. It might have hurt me back then, but after my discussions with Kabir, I understood that it was a wounded heart that entered the battalion, one that prevented others from feeling the same.

"You really do?" He looks sad and ashamed. I would never want anyone of his age to feel bad. He might have taken a wrong approach but he never voluntarily would have wanted to hurt me or Kabir.

"I do."

"Thank you so much." Then a silence creeps on us again. I focus on completing my drink and he sips his hot tea leisurely.

His eyes are trained on something, my left hand specifically, which I am using to hold the cold glass. I don't question it, but he seems fixated. He raises his eyes and finds me staring at him.

He understands my query and his lips turn up in a smile but a very sorrowful one.

"You don't wear your ring?" He asks. His words so low, miserable.

"Ah— we are keeping it a secret at work."

"Right."

"Yes..." I drift off.

"It's a beautiful one, no?" His eyes are numb, shining in the daylight. His old face has wrinkles, one that scrunches more.

"It is. I didn't know when Kabir got it." I admit truthfully. I remember that day, our proposal. He had forced me to select a ring and when I didn't, he had barged into my flat that night. With that beautiful piece of jewel. I had been so sleepy, so surprised.

"He has always had it." I look at him, a little perplexed. He seems to not notice the expression on my face and is busy playing with the rim of his cup.

"Oh?"

"It was my wife's. She gave it to my daughter-in-law. After my children's death, Kabir took care of it. It was his mother's last memento. Also my wife's. The day after your wedding, I saw it on your finger for the first time. I should have known how serious he was about you then, but I refused to accept what was in front of me."

Wait. The ring...the ring was his mother's?

Why did he never tell me this? I never assumed. I never even thought about the ring being of so much meaning. I just didn't.

I am stunned to silence at Kabir's grandfather's revelation. My hands start to tremble a little but I shove them on my lap. Hiding them underneath the table.

"Kabir really loves you. Very much so. That ring will always be the proof of it. I have seen how possessive he has been over it, frantically taking care of it. He was very close to his parents, and his mother even more. My son loves you, and I am sorry for making it difficult for him to accept it." He keeps dropping these truth bombs on me, puzzling my heart so much.

The ring I thought was just a spontaneous buy out of need, was his mother's and grandma's. A ring that signifies a family heirloom. He never let it out. He never expressed how important the ring was for him.

My heart's racing. It might just be a ring, but now that I know, now that I think of...he handed that precious jewellery piece to me, his fake wife.

We might be in love now, our contract long forgotten but him presenting me with that ring when we were entering a relationship based on clauses makes me quiver.

This is why he was always looking so lovingly at the ring during the starting phase, but is this why he always urged me to wear it?

What was he thinking then?

I really, really need to know.

Once Grandpa leaves, I make haste to the office. I need answers that only my husband can cater to me. I need to know. I need to understand. I want to pack my stuff and leave for home, immediately.

I have no idea what time will he be back, but I need to discuss this with him. The ring I am wearing around my neck, which I always believed to be a token of a frivolous buy for a fake drama, was something Kabir treasured as his prized possession.

If this fact alone wasn't enough for me to have racing thoughts, the question that keeps bothering my head is pricking me.

'Why did he give it to me?'

The office is now back to work mode, everyone's back at their desks, strong cups of caffeine on their tables to fight away the post-lunch drowsiness.

I type a quick mail to HR, informing them about my half-day request. I don't usually ever skip office days, and whenever I do, I am always answerable to Kabir. But, in his absence, HR looks after my requests for leaves.

I don't wait for their response, I did my bit. If they have any problem regarding the same, I'll deal with them tomorrow. Today? I have much more concerning matters to tend to.

The moment I reach my desk, I start throwing all my stuff back in my bag along with some files I was supposed to work on today.

"Excuse me, ma'am, we received this." The clerk knocks his fist at my desk, diverting my attention towards him.

"Mail?" I look at the brown package in his hands.

"It's Kabir sir's. We normally don't get his personal mails, I wasn't sure what to do with it." He informs.

I take the package from his hands, telling him that I'll get it delivered to his home. Once he is convinced, he leaves me alone with the packet.

I take a seat on my chair, staring at the brown package. Kabir makes sure to get all his postmails delivered to our home. This package seems out of place. I read the senders' details. And that alone is enough for me to understand.

The package isn't just addressed to him, it's for me as well. I read the Mr & Mrs Sood, which is highlighted in bold.

There are moments when you just know. You just get that hunch, a feeling, a tingle. Something that makes it obvious how things are going to tumble down badly. Things are going to take a detour, fucking derailing you from your happy path, leading to damnation.

I have that feeling now. I can sense it.

The curiosity wins over my sane mind, and I swiftly pluck the seal. I can't wait to reach home and discuss it with him. Everything is occurring at an unbelievable pace, tumbling and falling.

Destroying.

So when the word 'Divorce' on the documents comes in the scene, it doesn't shake me as much. It destroys me completely. I take the bundle out, with hope in my heart. It dies soon. The papers are filed for our divorce. Our names stand there boldly, taunting me.

'Breach of Contract.'

My fingers clutch the papers hard, crumbling them slightly. The words start to blur, my eyes drowning, I wish it would take me along.

I scan through them and read every line twice. But I still am lost. I gulp back my tears and wipe the traitors that escaped. I am not going to lose my cool this easily. I am going to go back home, fucking wait for him and ask the meaning behind this.

I allowed myself a moment of weakness but I still don't believe it. I refuse to believe that the man who was so much in love with me would opt for such a route without even consulting me. I know there's a catch. There's something. But I have no idea what.

So, I need answers. And I need them, right now.

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Hey!

thank you for reading.

🦋 you love me 🦋

royally yours,
meethi.