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Public speaking has never been my forte. Even before I was involved in royal life, at school or university – anything – speaking to people like this was awful. When I was in nursing school, I had to do a ton of presentations in front of my cohort and a fake patient care scenario for the cameras as an exam. I'd always get stressed out, sweat like nobody's business, and my voice would shake like heck.

Though I don't do many press conferences as a royal, I've learnt to be okay in front of cameras. They don't make me sweat as much anymore, but I still get nervous. I don't know what could be worse than either getting married in front of everyone in the world, or standing outside the hospital doors mere hours after giving birth with makeup on, but the idea of this specific press conference makes me a nervous mess. I don't even have to talk, for fuck's sake – and I cannot swear, either.

Princesses do not swear in public. Nor do they get sweaty and shaken.

All I have to do is stand next to Kai for ten minutes.

The king is going to mention how the law has already passed that allows him to abdicate for his ill health when he sees fit, which he and parliament have agreed to two days from now – Wednesday – and he'll announce that when he signs the documents at eleven in the morning, Kai will become the King of England and the Commonwealth, while I will be Queen Consort, meaning we will be King Kai the First and Queen Mila, and I'll be crowned as a queen alongside Kai when we hold a coronation.

Kai will address the nation as well, though I don't know what his speech says other than how he's sad about how this is happening, but proud to serve the nation.

The cameras have been set up with a tiny podium thing for us to stand on in what they call The White Drawing Room in Buckingham Palace. We had to travel up here from Windsor this morning, just for this, though we're staying here for a few days while the abdication happens.

The entire room is decorated in white with gold trimmings, living up to its name of White Drawing Room – why didn't they come up with a better, more creative name, I don't know. Every painting had a gold frame. Gold sofas are around the area, though they've moved those ever so slightly to make room for this address. The ceiling has intricate gold decorations and a crystal chandelier swoops low down.

This whole place is nuts. It's so steeped in rich history, and I cannot believe I'm a part of it. Me, little Mila Kennedy – well, now Kennedy-Abbott legally, but Abbott to everyone else – from the south of England with the stepfamily who had an unprotected one-night stand with Prince Kai who was in disguise. Now I'm going to be queen. Well, the public doesn't know we got together because of a one-night stand, but still.

I remember when I found out about Kai, and I joked about him threatening to chop my head off and keep his bastard child, like Henry the Eighth, and how he said he was his ancestor. Now I'm part of that lineage of sorts. 

When I was in school, they took us to Hampton Court Palace to learn about the Tudor period, and how Henry the Eighth literally created a whole new religion – the Church of England – just so he could divorce his first wife. As a child, I was so fascinated by the period, and couldn't fathom how one man could just randomly make a new religion like that – or I suppose it's not a whole new one, but a branch of Christianity – and the royal family today still use it, the bloodline is still the same.

I'd love to live in Hampton Court. I wonder if we could. Kai told me ages ago that the royal family still own the palace, but royals haven't used it since 1760. Queen Victoria opened it to the public in the 1800s. He mentioned a few of his royal cousins have apartments there and choose to stay when they come to London. I wonder if we could, too.

One day, I'll be in the history books, and the thought scares me. I'll be someone people study and look back on, and I wonder if I'll be someone they look back on fondly, or whether I'll be chaotic and someone people want to carve out like they did with Tutankhamun and his father. I already have plans for when I'm queen – helping charities that aid the homeless and building a charity to help children who have lost parents like I wanted when my mum died.

We're ushered towards the stands with King Hugh. Kai walks in front of me up the step and across the stage podium thing.

My eyes look up, wary of the fact the cameras are likely on, along with the microphones. The stylist team gave me a bunch of options for my dress today, so I chose a mid-length olive green dress with flowers on it and black high heels. The King is already in place as I move forward.

As I take my foot forward, the heel twists, my foot stubs against the step and I'm tumbling ahead, my ankle twisting as I tumble up the step.

"Shit," I whisper.

"Mila."

Kai bends down along with the security to help me get up, but the damage is already done. My ankle shoots out in pain, a scrape on my knee, and my pride is stung. I'm about to be announced as a fucking queen and yet again, I've made a fool of myself—

"Your Highness, the microphones were on," the security whispers. "And so are the cameras."

My eyes widen and lock with Kai as I stand and brush myself off. "The nation—"

He nods. "We'll pretend it never happened while the speech is going on."

As the security makes sure I'm okay, my soul dies inside. I've perfected the art of never swearing in public, but my ankle is fucking painful. Hot embarrassment threatens to spill over my eyes along with the pain.

How did that slip out? I've been doing so well with the change – before royalty, I would swear like a sailor, but now I don't. Add that to a pile of ridiculous things I've done in front of the public. It's five in the evening and children might be watching and I've just sworn.

Someone kill me now.

Kai puts his hand in mine and leads to me where we've been told to stand as the king begins the press conference. As Hugh starts by thanking the people for their letters and cards of well wishes following his diagnosis, Kai squeezes my hand. 

I can tell it's for comfort after what I just did, but I just hope the people are too shocked by the news they're about to hear to care about my swearing on live TV. His wedding ring is pressing into my skin, and though most royals in the family don't wear wedding rings, I love that Kai does. The feel of the silver digging into my skin sears me with his brand, and I'm so proud. Despite the way we got together literally because of Emma and to protect the royal reputation, I could think of nothing better.

Well, I could. Rather than making a fool of myself in front of the cameras, I'd rather be not clumsy and stupid. But I guess people would find me harder to relate to, I suppose.

Kai will be an amazing king. When I first met him, he was never meant to be in this position because of his sister and her children, but now they've all passed on, here he is. Though he's always wobbled on the idea of being in the line of succession, I know he'll be amazing at it. After I joined the family and became officially engaged to him, he took his role more seriously because all eyes were on him again – looking back, it was because he fell in love with me and wanted to settle down properly – and the people love him. The kingdom will do well with him at the head of it, and I'm honoured to be at his side helping and supporting him in it.

King Hugh clears his throat and turns to Kai and me before nodding and turning back to the cameras. He's about to announce it to the world.

"That brings me to why I'm here, talking to you right now. I am due to have surgery next week. With that in mind, and how intense my treatment is, I am sorry to say that I'm going to abdicate the throne next week. I have put a law through parliament already that allows me to step back as the king. I will sign the papers on Wednesday at eleven in the morning, which means as of one minute past eleven on Wednesday, England and the Commonwealth will have new rulers. My son, Kai, will become King Kai the First, and alongside him will be his wife, Mila, who I have declared to be Queen Mila as consort instead of Princess. While I will not be a king or a working royal from Wednesday, I will still be in the family and helping my son and daughter-in-law."

I stand a little taller and squeeze Kai's hand. Just hearing the title queen somehow doesn't feel as dreadful as it used to. I find myself excited at fulfilling my duty, even if it's not duty-bound to me by blood. Even if I am an absolute clumsy oaf who probably shouldn't be trusted with a whole damn kingdom. I suppose Kai must see something in me, otherwise he would've hidden me from the public eye and not married me. I just hope the people will love me as their queen like they do a princess. My ankle and knee still fucking hurt, though.

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