18♛
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Dedicated to YoungKeiraR
I gasp as the cold water comes into contact with my skin. The cold that kept biting into my skin as the water slowly devoured my body felt completely new. I stop, it was too cold, the breeze itself freezing my bones. Maybe it was a sign to go back.
"Its cold!" I yell at Max who was smiling since the water came into contact with my toes.
"Don't worry!" He yells back and starts swimming towards me. I sigh, I didn't want to swim anymore, maybe swimming wasn't something I was meant to do.
Max thrusts out of the water just ahead of me, still wearing his big smile, "why so sad Iris?" I divert my eyes from his smile that seemed to frustrate me, "I don't think I'm ready, and its too cold we might catch a flu," He opens up his palms and nods towards them.
"Well let this flu be worth it," I roll my eyes trying to push back the smile and slowly place my small freezing hands on top of his.
"I don't want to swim Max, this was fun and anyways swimming isn't something I love," I never had told him I used to swim before maybe Sam did or maybe he just wants to swim with me. Whatever the reason was this was the second time he was persisting me to swim with him which made me slightly suspicious.
"Be free Hales, don't hold back?" I shake my head slipping my hand off of his as I slowly retreat.
"I don't want to," I don't want to remind myself of something I couldn't grasp to anymore, dreams, memories, ambition, everything, I just couldn't.
"Hales..." I shake my head looking away from his pleading eyes that I suspected were capable of making me stay.
"Please," I turn my back towards him.
"Im also afraid," I stop but don't turn back around.
"You think its easy for me to swim here again? It isn't...," he breaths in but doesn't stop talking, "Every stroke I make I think of him. Every where I look I see him. Its not easy for me also," I breath in, I knew him without even Max mentioning him.
"I came here because... I don't know, maybe I wanted both of us to get rid of these fears together. I know about the Olympics," and it was silent, the chirping birds that filled the forest were all silent leaving only the gushing wind to be heard. I turn around and look towards him, his head hanging low as he looked down at his hands, dripping hair covering his face. I neglected the Olympics part for now saving it to inquire for later. I wanted to know how he knew but at the same time I wanted to do this with him and plus I wasn't a fan of opening any memory caskets.
I swim towards him.
"Max," he looks up towards me, his eyes red, filled with pain I had never seen on him. To see a man cry is rare and to see a man cry is to know that he trusts you so much he is ready to show you his vulnerability. Society has labeled men as emotionless caskets for a heart that beats, a man who cries is a man who's weak. It's heartbreaking seeing so many men fall into that stereotype, so many men not able to express their feelings because feelings were for the weak. Max cried in front of me and that was the moment I realized that he trusted me and I was probably the only person he trusted because the whole world had turned their backs on him. He was labeled the bad guy and every one failed to see the broken prince that lied underneath the layers he showed the world.
I slip my hand into his and move closer to him slowly laying my head on his cold chest. His arms immediately wrap themselves around me and even though it was deadly cold, as I stood there embraced in his arms I felt warmth.
He released all his pain on my shoulders, everything he was holding back he released through the warm tears that dripped on my shoulders. I let him, he needed to let go and even if it took all day for him to cry I would still stand here in his arms, listening to his heartbeat and sobs so quiet they were impossible to hear.
"Thank you," his voice was hoarse but he had stopped crying now. His arms still around me and I knew why he didn't want to let go so early, he was afraid I'd see him too broken.
"Im such a wimp," he bitterly chuckles and I abruptly push away from his arms.
"Maximus Bartholomew! You are not a wimp! In fact you are the strongest guy I know! Do you know how much courage it takes a man to cry in front of someone? Don't you dare call yourself a wimp young man!" He chuckles again, his cold hands wrap themselves back around my waist and I gasp when he abruptly pulls me towards his chest and places a quick cold kiss on my cheek.
"You are the best," I move some hair on my face so that he couldn't see my heated cheeks because of a small kiss. Talk about middle school reactions on a 24 year old, utterly embarrassing.
"I know I know, I can't help it its in my blood being the best," I divert the subject so that he doesn't see that he was able to spark a middle schoolers reaction, it wasn't helping that his hands around my waist felt so prominent because of the cold and were somehow sending tingles down my spine.
"And apparently humble," I laugh and lay my head back on his chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat was rapid and it was all because he wanted to be in this cold water body. Incompetent.
"So are we going to swim?"
"Mhm."
"When?" I look up at him seeing a clear image of his brain through his nostrils that he was purposely flaring. I laugh and push him away and horribly attempt to run in water, "Race you to the other side!"
"Ah fudge it!" I plunge myself into the water, kicking deeper and deeper with each second. For the first time in eight years and it still didn't change how free it made me feel. A weird sensation flowed through my blood as the water wrapped itself around me. The fears that haunted me all seemed to wash away with the water. This was the dimension for me, that small momentarily world we eventually created that made us forget about our worries and fears where one was free from the pressure of the outside world. Pressure to stand out, pressure to be known, pressure to be accepted, pressure to survive. It was all a stupid competition in my dimension.
I smile, I liked this, I forgot how good it felt to swim, to block the outside world and minimize it to a mere murmur. The water was where I felt peace and to feel that peace once again was like a missing piece from a puzzle finally found and completed.
I look up towards the surface of the water as rays of light shone in like tiny bullets being shot into the water, the trees above a beautiful blur and I remembered the wicked breeze that bit into my bones and suddenly wanted to stay in the calming warmth of the water.
As I swim upwards I realize that I didn't care about dreams anymore. Dreams were for children and I was grown. From now on I don't dream anymore, I set goals and I achieve them. I was going to stop dreaming and start doing. I was going to let go of stupid dreams and start living them.
I thrust out of the water and smile, my thick hair sticking to the sides of my face. Everything seemed new like I was seeing from different eyes, eyes of an optimist and not a pessimist. Old Hales was buried in the deep waters, a new Hales was washed out.
"Woah," he was already sitting by the side, his legs dangling in the water below him.
"You beat me?" I was honestly perplexed.
"Nah I came out of the water, walked to the other end and watched you swim," I laugh and swim towards his legs, "Isn't that cheating?"
"Nah I was just admiring your swift movements from afar," I smile and wrap my legs around his leg.
"You swim like you were born swimming, like you belong in the water," he reaches down and pushes away the hair that was stuck to my face.
"You are beautiful," there it was, that weird stare, the one where his eyes went all dark and serious like he was thinking about something.
"Thank you," I look down towards our legs feeling shy to look into his eyes because that was just the thing with compliments they made your heart all jittery and your face all warm and your voice all high and for some reason you felt like you had to hide it.
"For?"
"This."
"You are more then welcome," And a silence followed, not the awkward type just that silence where you appreciate each others presence and realize that it the presence that mattered more.
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Heylow heylow!
Im going to try to update real soon for yall since Im on My Holiday so pray I dont grow lazy lmao xD
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