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My favourite Disney princess will always be Ariel. Sure, she has a ton of issues – declaring that she loves Prince Eric when she's sixteen and hasn't ever spoken to him is problematic, and I swear she needs to be properly parented and taught about contracts, but the way she fought for her love and way of life, regardless of age and all, really is cool. Clearly, Ariel always felt like she shouldn't have been a mermaid and, despite the prince, once she found her legs, she fought for them, too.

It resonates with me how Ariel feels dysphoric as a mermaid. She feels like even before she met Eric, she was in the wrong place. It might be different, but the whole day I've been feeling the same. I'm not meant to be a royal, a princess, or be in this world. I'm the one destined to be back under the sea with my mermaid tail and fish friends.

The palace made me deactivate all of my named social media accounts, but I still have an anonymous one not tied to my name or anything, so I can see how it's all come to life with the news of Kai's engagement to me, and the photos of us they released. The ones we took yesterday won't come out yet. To my surprise, though, there isn't much on my tumble and few people seem to hate me. Yet. I've no doubt it'll happen.

I throw my phone down and pull the blanket around me, sniffing the tears as the Part of Your World song starts. The irony isn't lost on me right now.

The door opens and Kai walks in tentatively.

"Okay if I come in?" he asks.

I just nod in response, so he walks in more, closing the door behind him. He puts a cup of tea down in front of me and one for him.

"I thought we would have maids to do that for us or something. Surely a prince making tea is unheard of," I note bitterly.

He chuckles as the song finishes and the rest of the film carries on. "The royal family isn't always what people expect, you know? I don't enjoy having maids and butlers doing everything for me. I have the one who will do a quick clean every day because no one likes cleaning every day. Plus, I don't always have the time. A gardener, but that's not my choice because if I don't do it, the palace won't allow it to not happen. Everything else I do myself. You know I told you how much I hate this life? That's part of it. Too many people poking around in my life."

I shrug. "Fair."

"The Little Mermaid, huh?"

I roll my eyes. He's trying to find a way of talking about it. I better just get this over with, I suppose. My hormones are also all over the place, so I know this is a bigger deal in my head.

I sigh. "The thing is, more than ever, I get Ariel. She was never meant to be a mermaid, despite the whole fancying a man she's never met thing. She was born to be a human, and she has to fight to be what she wants. I was never born to be a royal, or in front of cameras. This is literally like that: I'm Ariel. Just without the cool tail and nice bra to go with it."

He chuckles. "I mean, I'm sure you can get a nice bra—I'll stop." The awkwardness in his voice is apparent. "But, I like that. The comparison to Ariel, I mean. Never heard that before. But in all seriousness, Peach, have you actually looked at the articles and comments other than seeing the video and headlines?"

I look at my hands. "No."

He sighs, grabs his phone and starts clicking a few things. "Here's a comment: she's a normal girl. I love her. Here's another one: bless her, she must be so nervous. I feel sorry for her, but also excited! There's another similar comment: a nurse from a stepfamily becoming a princess? I love to see it!"

I arch an eyebrow. "They're being sarcastic, right? British humour at its finest."

"Peach, come on. Look at these comments," he says, handing me his phone.

I look at the article he's pointed out. My eyes quickly find out that he's signed in to social media as someone totally random, not himself. He's right, though, the comments are mainly of people liking me. People say how they noticed me fall and thought it was nice to see someone real linked to the royal family, someone else mentioned how I might bring some normality to royalty – whatever that means. 

A few people mentioned feeling awful for me falling on national TV, but no hate towards me. There are a couple of down with the monarchy comments, but nothing aimed towards Kai or myself. I notice a few comments wanting to know more about me and my family, and people linking an article that's about me – clearly some media have done some digging already. The palace put out a little about me on the website, saying I have a degree in nursing and where I come from.

"See? They like you. No one is taking the piss—"

"Did you just swear, Prince Kai?" I joke.

He chuckles. "I did. But no one is taking the mickey out of you or hating you. The funny thing is, when you're a part of the royal family, people will generally hate you because they hate the monarchy, but it's not you they hate, it's the monarchy. People won't like certain people because that comes with being famous or whatever, but you just learn to ignore them. The public hated Michael because they think a celebrity shouldn't come into the family. People might not like you because they think high society should marry into the family. But on the whole, people will react like this, Peach."

I hand him back his phone. "You posing on social media to snoop?"

"Yeah, I like to keep up with celebrity gossip," he jokes. "But seriously, don't beat yourself up. I think you're going to be amazing. You're going to bring something new and real to this royal family, and I'm not just talking about the kidney bean in there." He points to my stomach.

I laugh and shake my head. "Do you ever turn that charm off?"

"For you? No."

A joking sigh escapes my mouth. "Can I ask a question?"

"Anything."

This has been playing on my mind on and off since I found out I was pregnant, but a part of me hasn't been ready to hear the answer, in case it's something I don't want to hear.

I take a breath. "You mentioned going to clubs in disguise, and that was a habit. I guess I just wanna know if you make a habit of picking up girls, and if you have any other kids out there. If we're gonna be married and raise this baby together, I think I should know."

He sits back in the seat and faces me properly. Seemingly, he's turning serious. Not a bad thing necessarily.

"I did make a habit of going out in disguises to nightclubs, yeah. Usually, I'd flirt with a few girls over the night. Hand on heart—" He literally puts his hand over his chest. "—I have slept with a few girls while in disguise, but they have been one night stands, and only after my split with my ex. As for other children, I have none – as far as I know – I always use a condom. Always. Until you."

I arch an eyebrow. "Why until me?"

He shrugs. "This sounds stupid, and there was no excuse, but I just kinda went with the flow and forgot. Cliché as hell, but it's the truth. Like I said before we even left the club, there was always something special about you, Peach, and you made me lose my common sense. Still not an excuse, but here we are."

His eyes are looking into mine, and the truth radiates like a fresh cup of coffee, and it's when he puts his hand on my knee that I truly believe him. Weirdly, the small gesture means more than anything, but I can't explain exactly why. Maybe it's because throughout this whole thing so far, we've barely been this invested in talking to each other deeply. 

Somehow, since I moved in, it seems like we're trying to make that effort, and Kai's been nothing but lovely when he doesn't even need to be. Maybe there is something special about him, like magic. Or maybe it's just the chemistry we both have but keep avoiding like the plague since I moved in here.

"If we're going there, I'd like to ask if you frequent one night stands after Brayden," Kai asks. He's playful, but the way he says it stings simply because of the way Brayden used to act towards me after he cheated.

I shake my head. "No. But when I confronted him about cheating, he used to taunt me. We would frequent nightclubs together, and if a man ever offered me a drink or dance, he wouldn't like it. Funny because a few times, a guy would come onto me on the dancefloor, and he'd encourage it; said he liked to watch me flirt and get off on it. After, though, he'd hate it, blame me and say my body was too enticing or shit."

Kai scoffs. "I'm glad the plan didn't work. Though let's face it, he'd have to be dense to act like that. What a damn tool."

"He's very charming, though, and until this, I was under his spell. I suppose he's like a snake charmer."

"Except he's the damn snake, as well as the charmer," Kai spits out.

"Well, I guess I'm the winner, really. I'm marrying a prince," I say with a shrug. "I'm like a Disney princess, right?"

"Unfortunately, there's a lot more to being royal than what you see in the films, Peach," Kai says with a grin that brightens his whole face. It sends flutters throughout my heart. "Though it's a good job."

"So, if you enjoy the job, why do you hate the royal life? I keep hearing you tell me you hate the media poking in, and you want a normal life, but you can't have it, and yet, you enjoy the job."

Kai sighs. "Mostly it's that I've grown up in the limelight, yet I'm not a famous actor or singer. I have to be someone good and be good, a role model. I can't be seen – well, what I've done, which the media will pick up on soon and ask me about given the engagement has just come out. The job is great – helping people and seeing people smile. But the rest of it is just... I hate it, Peach. Sure, the cottage and private property, the money is great. Well, I don't even need to spend money, everything is just done. But I look and listen to you and the close family, the decent job, the way you can just walk down the street and do whatever you want – within reason – it's all amazing. People think we sit on this high pedestal and look down on people, but really, I'm jealous of everyday people. The worst part is, I'm doing all of this for nothing. I'm fifth in line, Peach. There's no point to me."

"So walk away," I say. "Surely you can walk away and go live in a townhouse wherever you want?"

He shakes his head. "I could, but to do that would be to cut myself off from everything. The money, the house, my family. Especially now with a baby on the way, I couldn't do that. How would I work? I have a degree that doesn't secure me work. Anywhere that would hire me would take one look and not want the drama and attention a prince would bring. It's more than just that, though."

I sip my drink. "What?"

"It would mean splitting up the family. While my parents might get it as parents, as king and queen, it's way more complex. I'm a senior royal and rely on public funds from the government. Charity work would have to be divvied up. The family itself will have to be adapted and changed. It takes a lot of work for someone to step back."

I arch an eyebrow. "Okay, but what about what you want as a human being? From an outsider sort of looking in and about to be in, surely what is right for you is best? If you're not next in line, then you have that liberty to put yourself first, surely? Do you honestly think this life – one you resent – is what is best for our child? Surely, if you stepped back, we could still afford our child the best in life?"

He sits up. "To you, what is the best childhood for your child? If you could give them anything in the world? What does the best look like to you?"

I cock my head. It doesn't take me long to know the answer. "A childhood where there is stable money, home, clothing – all the child's needs are easily met. But most of all, it gets unconditional love and happiness. It's a childhood filled with the best love, where it has the education of right and wrong and easy access to a good education."

Kai nods. "I agree. That's the thing, though, if I step back from royal duties, I don't know how to provide that stability. Love is easy; while it's not there for me yet because I'm not biologically growing this child, I know I will love it. The royal life gives the best education and easy access. If I wanted, simply because I'm a prince, I could've gone to Oxford or Cambridge without even trying. If I'd not got straight-As, all my dad would've done is phoned up and that place would've been mine even if I hadn't earned it."

"That's not the best education, Kai. That is exploiting status. If we want to talk stability, I can work like I planned to. This is what I didn't want – money is all well and good, and being royal might mean access to private and better schools, but mentioning your family is royal shouldn't get him or her a place wherever without earning it. I'm not bringing our child up like that!"

"Welcome to high society, Peach. Might not be equal or fair, but it's what we have."

"Then leave. You don't like it," I argue. "If you don't like it, why should our child be subject to it?"

"If you're so against this, Peach, why are you here?"

I scoff. "Because you didn't give me much of a choice when you and your security and high-class lawyer begged me to do this willingly for the reputation! I had no idea who you were when I phoned you to tell you, Kai!"

He sighs and rubs his hands over his face in frustration. Maybe this is where the cracks will be; we don't agree on this one thing, but it's a massive thing.

"Look, Mila—" He stops. If he isn't calling me by my nickname, that means he's truly done. "You wouldn't get it because you're not in the family properly right now, and that's fine. But please, understand, this might not be the life I choose or like, but it is my life. You're right, of course, I could easily walk up to my parents and tell them I stand back. They would eventually work something out. But the cost of that, not just in money, but in time, personal hurt and family rifts is massive. You have no idea how much sorrow and strife that one act will put this entire institution under, not to mention the personal family. We're not just royalty, we are a family as well, just the same as your family underneath the jewels and crowns."

I say nothing because underneath it all, he's right, I guess.

He carries on. "If you walked up to your dad tomorrow and told him, I don't know what the equivalent is, but you told him you disowned him and Anne and Patrick, or something similar, it would break a part of your relationship forever, wouldn't it?"

I nod. "I mean, yeah. Or if I told him I secretly hated Anne and Patrick all these years."

Kai nods. "Yeah, like that. It's a betrayal and something that in time might mend, but it'd be broken deeply forever. It's kind of like that. My one salvation is that while I think it's a pointless thing, me being a senior royal because I'll never be on the throne, it works for me too. I can go out and meet you, I can sit in the back row and get away with stuff my sister can't. I make the role fit me. As parents, we will get away with a lot my sister can't, either. It works both ways. Please, trust me with this."

My shoulders slump. The argument is a moot point because I've not even been in the family a month yet, so I'm just the stupid commoner looking in.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Kai shakes his head. "You don't need to be. These are the shitty arguments we sort of need to have, I guess. This is the kinda thing we're gonna have to work through. You're being thrust into this with no idea, and it'll come up. Better to do it now than a year down the line. I'm sorry as well."

I shrug. "You don't need to be." I stand from the sofa. "Today has worn me out. I'm gonna head for a bath and then go to bed."

"Okay. Listen, Peach, don't worry about what people think, okay? You're doing amazing and will be amazing. Plus, they love you. You'll win them over anyway in a few days when we head to your first engagement."

I groan, remembering that. "If today is anything to go by, that'll do me in!"

He chuckles. "It'll be much less pressure, trust me. You got this, okay?"

I nod and open the door. We both stop for a second and smile at each other. Despite the disagreement, something still flies in the air between us. It's this mystery behind him that intrigues me. He wears his heart on his sleeve, but deep down there's some sort of something about him I cannot put my finger on. It intrigues me and attracts me to him – along with the obvious lust between us that's never left.

I just hope we can break the wall between us that's clearly still here because so far it's just awkward as hell. I suppose, like Ariel, I need to find a way to secure my way into this life I don't belong in while also trying to find my way to the world I do fit in. If she beat the villain and be both a princess out and in the water – sort of – I can too. It'll just take hard work. Like Ariel, I just need to find my legs without getting into a deal with the devil for them.

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