17

STRADDLING & WATERMELON

It took me a while before I was able to get up under that desk...

but when I did I only knew it was because I wouldn't see Leo again. I mean.. our fight in the bathroom yesterday wasn't us breaking up but.. I was fully truthful to him..

and he barely said a word.

he's so worried about people finding out but not worried about what he's doing to me...

there's nothing to find out about if he loses me first.. and at this point he will.

I get off at my bus stop, cringing at the eighteen freshmen boys that stared me down and tried to feel my legs... feel my ribs and my stomach...

I walk up Rose's driveway, weirdly before Leo's car is here, and open her door. "Hey! I'm gonna call my mom that I came here." I say as I enter.

Pretending nothing happened is my go to..

Jemma peaks out for the kitchen and smiles, "of course hun!"

I leaning against the wall and type my moms number in. "Hey mom-"

"Why didn't you bring Jace over Rox-"

"Because mom, we got in a little fight. I'll bring him over when he comes to his senses." I say and she huffs, "I get it, but he's a senior! I don't want him to see me as a monster, Rox."

"Then you shouldn't have married one when you knew the consequences." I mumble and she sighs. "I'm over at the McClures for tonight, I'll get somebody to drive me home if you can't." I say, messing with the ring that Leo gave me when I drove home with mom. I put the phone back and sigh.

I see Haze on the couch and smile, walking over to him and sitting on his lap, my head dug into his shoulder. I want actively crying, but just feeling safe like that with him made me shed a few tears.

"If he doesn't have the balls to ask her out he doesn't deserve her." He says out of nowhere, messing with his hands and I smile at him. "Haze?"

I knew what he was talking about.

"Yes."

"Do you have the balls to ask her out?" I add and he swallows. "When I know she will say yes, I'll have the biggest fucking balls." He says and I laugh.

"can I tell you a secret Haze...?" I ask and he nods, "of course Rox.."

"I'm dating Leo.. and he won't tell anybody and everything inside me is building up and I yelled at him and I'm afraid I went to far... I'm afraid he doesn't want me anymore.."

"Rox.. he'll always want you, I know that for sure. No matter what planet or island or place you are.. no matter what you say or how you say it.. he'll never get over you. and if it takes a little fight to knock the sense into his head then so be it. you deserve the best.."

"Thank you... you know why I'm scared right? You know how girls react to him and how him being single is.."

"I do know. And god... I'd feel like shit.."

"I'm home!" Leo's warm but deep voice says as he walks in, but somebody follows after him. "Hello!" One of those moaning voice screams and Jemma's face furrows, she moves out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel before throwing it in the laundry and moving closer.

I clench onto Haze tighter, closing my eyes and him understanding the memo.

"Oh.. her backpack.. um.. Haze is uh- oh." Leo stutters out, "she's right there-" Leo says, almost in shock but Haze shushes him. "She's asleep." He says sternly.

Leo growls, "Let me pick her up I'll take her upstairs-"

"No."

"What the fuck- Get your hands off of her dude!"

"I know." He says quietly and that quickly stops Leo. "I know about you two and your fight.. and I know what you're about to do, so listen to me... think through what you're about to lose Asshole."

"I'm... im not doing anything with her we're doing a project-"

"Uh huh. Go tell her that bozo." Haze says, rolling his eyes.

"fuck you."

"Nah I'm good but if you keep going like this I think your girlfriend might!"

"You're dead." Leo says lightly, but Haze laughs.

"And you'll already be dead without her!"

God... haze is such a good wingman.

Leo rushes to the girl at the stairs. Grabbing her hand and hoping to take her straight upstairs.

"Hello! My name is Jemma McClure." Jenna interrupts.

"Hello Jem-"

"Mrs McClure." Jemma corrects and a smile erupts on my face. Yea, ha you little bitch!

"Sorry Mrs McClure, me and Jace have been assigned a project for second period and we were hoping to go upstairs-"

"Oh sure sure, Rox can you bring them some fruit while they're up there." She says, staring at the girl while Leo looks emotionless, leaning against the wall.

He's so fucking tall.

Why does every bone in my body hurt when I see him look at her? How come she gets to be seen with him? How come she gets to go up into his room when it is daylight and probably fuck him?

Screw this.

My face goes red as I dig my face into Haze's shoulder. "Yea, I'll go cut it right now..." I say slowly, sleepily as if she just woke me up, and she nods, "oh thank you sweetie."

"Your maid is allowed to have her boyfriend ove-"

"That's not her fucking boyfriend." Leo says sternly, his voice deep and rough. He let a little emotion seep into that sentence. He stares between me and Haze before grabbing the girls hand and dragging her up the stairs.

"Oh maid can we have watermelon-" she starts but soon I can't hear her. I pop up from the couch and bow, "well must the maid go cut some watermelon." I say and Haze laughs. "Goodbye."

I go into the kitchen to where Jemma is making dinner and get out the knife. "I don't have a good feeling about that girl." Jemma says as she begins to cut chicken.

"Yea.." I say with a shake of my head. "Roxanne.." Jemma warms and I lift an eyebrow. She sighs, beckoning me over as I clean the knife.

"I know what goes on inside my house."

What

Oh god she knows! Leo is gonna kill me! He's gonna hate me! We're never gonna be together again and the last memory he will have of me is just me being a stupid bitch who's just jealous-

"Of course I'm not angry at you for not telling me, I understand... but... I wanna know. As an old lady I don't get the drama anymore hun-"

"Jemma!" I say, trying to shush her. "How do you know?!" Urgency and fear is in my voice as she sighs.

She smiles at me a little before looking back down at her chicken.

"My son has been so much happier, Rox. I know how he looks at you even if he didn't, I listened to you guys bicker from outside my sons room for ages. I can tell that that girl he brought up to his room is either him trying to make you jealous, or he got you angry and is pissed with himself and is taking it out in you. I wouldn't doubt it's both." She says and I smile at the knife, shining my reflection back at me.

"You are dating right?" She asks and I nod slightly, "You can't tell-"

"I won't sweetie I'm not stupid, I might tell Lucio if I decide he's well enough to keep a secret but I probably won't. I've just known this was gonna happen, I was waiting. I saw him stare at you for almost eight years straight like you were the most beautiful thing he's seen. Sometimes when you were in a bikini I could just tell-"

"Okay I'll stop you there." I say with a chuckle. This family is too close.

"He just... Rose told us that if we were dating she'd be okay with it as long as she had me. He said he wasn't willing to tell anybody yet because he didn't want to lose his family or me. I would've been happy if I didn't know that there are a bunch of girls at our school who love him too." I say and she shakes her head. Of course Jemma would know I love her son before he does.

"I do know he's right, but he has the wrong idea. I know my daughter would be annoyed but... she would never make you choose hun. Rose is so sweet-"

"I know.." I say with a smile. "I'm just waiting for him to apologize to tell him that," I say and she laughs.

"Go bring them watermelon to make sure she's not stealing your man." She says and I nod, "will do." I say.

I almost cut all of it to bring up to them before I cut my hand. I groan before running it under water and deciding that the watermelon I had cut before was enough. It's bleeding more than it hurts, but it also burns like I was on fire.

It's just a cut... just a cut.

I grab the plate I put it on and walk up stairs, holding my hand in a fist to keep my palm from bleeding anymore as blood drops between my fingers and onto the ground.

It's all the way across my palm and onto my wrist.

I hiss as I open his door.

My eyes look up slowly as I see them both looking up at me with wide eyes, but Leo's are full of fear as his face goes red. She was straddling him, her hands placed over his that were on her waist as she stops her movement as though she either just got on or was grinding on him. I drop the plate accidentally, my good hand going over my mouth.

"Roxy... oh my god- I know what this looks like but I-"

I hide my hand. My eyes take on a thick layer of tears that I don't let slip as my stomach churns.

She was straddling him, her legs wrapped around his groin as my entire body burns with pain worse than before. "I- I- I didn't think you'd ever do this to me- I'm- im so dumb!" I cry as I go to leave. "Roxy-"

"Thank you maid!" The girl exclaims and I roll my eyes. But Leo doesn't like getting caught very much does he?

"For the last time she's not the fucking maid!" Leo says angrily as his hands trail over his face. I step out and close the door, walking into my room, wishing it was farther from his room as I hear his door close once again.

I lock the door, slipping down the door and crying into my knees.

I never thought he would actually do it..

I..

I thought he loved me.

"Roxanne! I promise! She heard somebody coming and she wanted to show off so people talked about her being the first one to have sex with me twice." He starts as soon as he makes it to my door, pounding on it. "Please! Please let me in, Baby.. please!" He says from outside my door.

And it's so close to a cry..

"You can say whatever you want about me, Roxanne but you cannot call me a man whore when I stopped because I like you! I like you, Baby!" He says and I sniff.

"Please leave." I say as he sighs, "Roxy please... I was just trying to protect us earlier but now that I know how Diana is acting with me I get why you want others to know. But I don't want these girls to switch to bullying you, and I don't want the boys trying to steal you out from under me just because they want to knock me down. I.. I can't risk losing you because the only thing worse than not having you be mine is having to see you live your life like I was never there... because I was. You're my girl.."

"You're just making you excuses now." I say and he pounds his fist against the wall. "Fuck, Roxanne! I'm trying to do anything to protect us, I promise! I'm not making excuses I just want us to last! If I have to go back to not knowing that I liked you I would get into fights everyday, changing my pain into the physical kind. Not knowing why I'm sad every time I see somebody else touch or even look at you. I cant go back to people doing that god.. every time I see you with a guy I imagine my hand going through their face and ugh... I'd see you kiss people in the hallways or hear about your new boyfriend from my mom and I couldn't explain how disgusting I felt. I don't want that to happen, baby, and I know that's shallow so I'm so sorry! I'm selfish and an asshole.. god you shouldn't be with me. I won't make you... just please don't forget about me. I promise we can tell the entire world how we're together soon, but I have to ask Rose more and just figure shit out." He says and I feel a tear slip from my eye.

"I just wanted to be happy.." I mumble, taking the knife I had held with the water mellow and cutting a little bit more. and a little bit more.. blood seeping out of my hand.

"You're my world." He says and I bite my lip. "Do I trust you?" I ask him and he sighs.

"I probably wouldn't.. but I hope you do. You had every right to be angry, especially after I let a girl other than you straddle me for over a second. I promise it was maybe for five seconds at most, she just wanted to show off. God I felt disgusting after I touched a girl for two seconds in class because I kept thinking of you... I just was angry and fuck... I wish I didn't do any of this. I should just go back and redo it all."

I crawl over to the bed, my hand dropping blood along the way. "Leo.." I barely am able to mumble but he still hears.

"I need help!" I say, fear in my voice.

"What- why why what happened? Baby? Roxy!?" He asks against the door. "Let me in!" He screams.
He begins pounding on the door, and I would help, but I can't. I can't move..

He breaks open the door, running in and calling for his dad.

"What the fuck?!" He asks, looking at my bloody hand as he grabs on to it softly, not afraid my blood getting on his hands as he rips off his white shirt ad wraps it around my hand.

His abs are right in front of me as I stiffen from the pressure he puts on my hand.

"I'm a little tired..." I mumble and he kisses my forehead. "Oh no... I did this huh... I did this to you oh my god I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to bring this back I thought- I thought I was getting better with How I handled things but god look what I did.."

"I can't.. I can't.." I mumble, shaking my head and he runs his fingers through my hair, kissing my nose and smiling as all I can think about is his blonde hair and beautiful eyes.

"Do it for me, Baby. Please.. stay awake ok?" he says before running off, and I do. I keep my eyes open as much as I can as the lights start making me a little dizzy. It's just a cut. It's fine.

I'm a big girl, I've been through pain, I've been punched by Dave a few times, I've been cut by glass, I'm not weak.

And.. that thing that happened yesterday night... where he..

Dave...

Took a knife to my throat...

And I tried to push it back but I can't.

I thought I could forget but I can't..

And soon, I feel it coming.

"Dad!" I hear Leo's voice yell down the hall, filled with urgency as I focus on it. Lucio was a pretty amazing doctor in this town.

"You need to leave."... "then get a cab." I hear him say to Diana.

"Rose!" Leo screams again and I swallow, "Go keep Roxy awake! please!" I hear as she comes in mumbling questions before gasping.

"You little introverted bitch! You cant tell me you're in pain when you're in pain! I get home to this!" She screams as she comes up to me and pushes her lips together. "I love you.." she notes and I sigh.. "I think they're coming back.." I mumble and her face that was covered in a pity smile drops.

"No.."

"It's ok.. just.. get Leo please.."

"Dad!!! Leo!!" She screams, grabbing onto me and kissing my head.

"It'll be ok.... because Oh Rox... you don't even know how much he loves you do you?"

"Who?" I ask with a little cough, my eyes drooping.

She just looks at me and shakes her bead before Leo comes back in. He immediately pushes past Rose and moves me up, sitting behind me as I sit between his legs. He holds my hand covered in his shirt above me, pressing down as hard as possible as I wince. His arms around me are enough for me to live through the pain though.

"I know baby I'm sorry.." he says, forgetting anybody else in the room is here. Rose holds my other hand as a tear slips from my cheek. "Leo... I feel it coming." I say as Lucio walks in.

"No... no they were gone they-"

"It's ok... it'll make sense later."