12
(That song is the song that Leo wrote for Roxy in this book. It's Jewel by Adam Melchor. Also this one is really long so sorry....)

JOKER GREEN & REASONS #1 & #2

I FLINCH as another jump scare happens, me and Leo having switched positions when the m&m skittle fiasco happened so that he's surrounding me. My head lays still on his chest, hearing his heart beat as his hands rub against my back, signaling that he's here.

"I'm here, Baby."

"Fuck no your not." I whisper sarcastically and he chuckles. "I'm not gonna be sweet all of the time, Roxy. You like me for me and right now if you be yourself one more time I'll actually throw you off of me." He says and I push my lips into a fine line, falling back from him and slowly leaning towards Rose whose face is intent on the movie.

"Fuck no you don't." He mumbles, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer to him again. "Ha you asshole." I prove with squinted eyes before I settle down into him again.

"Shut up." He mumbles, holding me tighter to him as he watches the movie. I, not wanting to watch the movie, have decided now would be the perfect time to fuck around.

I trail my finger across Leo's sharp jawline as he watches the movie, I feel like it could cut me.

"I know your limits, Roxy, if you need to close your eyes I will cover them for you." He says and I swallow. "Dude I have as much tolerance for this sort of stuff as a baby." I mumble and he nod, not paying attention as he pushes my head towards the movie and kisses the top of my head.

"Remember what I told you, if you're ever blind I'll be your eyes." He says and I sniff, bringing my legs up and wrapping my arms around them as I lay on my side on Leo.

And Leo was right.

Right as I'm about to screech, feeling the anticipation, Leo's hand darts over my eyes. He hoists me up closer to him and whispers in my ears.

"Marianna is not alive anymore." He mumbles and I chuckle.

"You're great at being eyes." I mumble and he swallows. "You're not a very good listener-" I stop him before he continues and slap his arm.

"I hate you." I say sweetly and he smiles. "I hate you too, Roxy."

I take a slow blink, expecting to wake up from a dream of today but no, I don't.

I bite my lip as I smile largely, digging my head into his chest and being engulfed by his smell of vanilla and evergreen.

I kiss his chest as he stiffens, but it's for a quick second before I think he realized that I'm real. He holds me tighter as I close my eyes.

I'm asleep.

When I wake up it's morning, I'm curled into a ball in the same position I was earlier, under the heating blanket and on top of Leo.

His deep, husky and raspy morning voice hums as his fingers run through my dirty hair. I groan, signaling Im up as I open my eyes and his smile slowly gets wider and wider.

"Why are we still out here?" I ask as I sit up and stretch. "Well it was either I move you, which was pretty easy, or I let you stay on top of me drooling away your life." He says and I furrow my eyebrows.

"I chose the latter." He says and I roll my eyes jumping and straddling him as I watch the sunrise.

I look at him, deep in his eyes as smile.

God I love him, but I can't say that...

Not yet, that's to crazy.

"You're so stupid." I say and he smirks. "That's what I'm good at." He says, leaning in to give me a kiss as his hands rest on my ass but I stop him. I put my finger over his mouth and raise an eyebrow.

"Give me a reason we should do this." I demand and he looks me deep in the eyes, having one handy at all times, like there as an unlimited supply in my pocket.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He asks and I nod, my hands running up his shoulders and neck. "I didn't have a favorite color until you said dark green, like that joker green sort of color, or the color of an evergreen forest. Once you said it, with your eyes bright in hope as you looked up at me it hit me. I fucking love dark green now. Every time I see it, in trees, in those beach towels you bought me, when you wear it.... it just makes me feel like my heart is exploding." He says and I bite my lip.

"Anyway the point and the reason is... you make everything different for me, you're so... special." He says and I bat my eyelashes.

"If you want another I'm sure I won't run out for forever so... we only live once. If I love mowing that I never showed you what we could have than I wouldn't classify what I did as life. I would want a redo. I mean even with waiting until my senior year I want a redo. I wish I could've showed you how I felt everyday." He says and I smile, pushing my lips against his and smiling.

"You're actually gonna make me cry." I mumble against his lips and he chuckles, "I wouldn't be opposed."

"Don't kiss me too deep you'll get straight morning breath." I warn and he smiles. "I don't care" when we kiss again he does though, pulling back and scrunching up his face, barely able to contain his laugh.

I jump off of him and growl, running down the deck and jumping into the sandy backyard.

"Oh come on I'm funny!" He reasons, jumping the railing on the deck to get to me quicker.

I fall onto the ground, watching the sky turn so many different colors.

"Sure, Leo." I say sarcastically and he jumps on top of me. "I am and you know it."

"Nope." I say, looking up at the sky and not looking down at him as his eyes go wide. "If you say that again I will break up with you immediately." He says without hesitation and I grab his face that's above me and push it over so I can see the sky.

"I'm not even your girlfriend." I explain and he growls, thinking for a second until he looks me dead in the eyes and sniff. "Well will you be my girlfriend?" He asks casually

"Yea I've been thinking about That question for a while, I was thinking maybe yea?" I respond casually and he nods, looking around until his head snaps towards mine.

"I've got you now!" He says excitedly and I laugh, Grabbing hold of his face and bringing it towards me.

I kiss him and mumble before I kiss him again, "I guess you're funny then..."

Our lips fit perfectly as he kisses me in needy way, like he needed me to survive.

I was his air.

I pepper kisses along his cheeks as he smiles.

"You're so amazing." He notes and I smile. "I try."

I get out from under him and bring my knees up to my chest.

"I need to go say goodbye to Haze before we go to the airport." I say and he growls. "No you don't."
"Yes I do." I say, getting up and pulling my hair up into a ponytail.

"You should too, if you cant come here because of college next time then you sousing want that to be your last memory of him, or his for you." I say as I stick my hands in my sweatpants pockets.

Leo gets up too and smacks the back of my legs, getting the sand off as he sighs.

"After, do you want to go to the beach one last time?" He asks and I nod. I run my fingers through his hair.

"Go get towels." I note and he nods. "Meet me down the path?" He asks and I nod.

"See you later, Leo!" I scream and he smiles. "I'll be right there, don't go forgetting about me!"

"I won't!"

"Promise?"

"Promise!" I scream, sticking my hands in my pockets and smiling as the sun lights up the sand.

I'm in love.

Halfway through the path I hear footsteps behind me, when I look back I see Leo. He's jogging up to me in swim shorts with one towel hanging off his shoulder.

I smile at him. "Hi!" I say happily and he hugs me, "Hey." He says, his hand traveling down my arm and intertwining his fingers with mine as we walk again.

Soon enough we make it to Haze's house, which isn't far down the path since they used to own this house before they sold it to us. They said that Mrs Waters wanted a downsize because she was uncomfortable.

I knock on the door and Haze opens it, shirtless with sweatpants on as he leans against the doorframe.

"Roxy!" He says happily, his voice raspy as I smile. "Hey!"

"Rox." Leo corrects with furrowed eyebrows, just how he used to when we were little. Where he would stomp his foot and growl when somebody wouldn't call me Rox.

I was his Roxy. He got to call me that. I know why now.

"Well we were leaving at 3 pm for our flight so I just wanted to come by and say goodbye, I'll see you in a couple years?" I ask and he sighs.

He looks up at me through his eyelashes as Leo leans against the deck railing.

"Well, you know I'm turning seventeen soon so I'll be setting up for my college next time. I mean it's kinda weird to think that I'll be almost eighteen and you'll be almost seventeen then but... it's true. So.... I was gonna come by later and break the news but I guess I will now....." he rants as he grabs my hand and smiles, "I'm coming back home with you guys, my mom already planned it out and it's just for the first part of the school year, which is until maybe December or January. Max is a little sad about me leaving, but my step mom loves him and he's only eight so he can make do." He says and I look at him with wide eyes.

"OH MY GOD!!! HAZE!!" I squeal as he envelops me in a hug.

"No sir-ee." Leo says, grabbing my hand and looking at Haze. "Look, Haze, you make Roxy happy, so I'm happy with you and owe you the world. But also, fuck off." Leo says and Haze nods, still smiling.

"Kind of what I expected from you, Jace." He says, "I gotta go pack and say goodbye, but I'll see you later." He says with a wave of his hand as his door slowly closes.

"Bye Haze!" I scream as I walk giddily down the stairs.

"Y'all are too close." Leo warns as he follows after me slowly, his hands in his pockets.

"Oh come on!" I reason, "We're just friends, Leo. I like you, and I love you being protective, I mean I grew up with it. But... you have me now, it will stay like that." I say, grabbing onto his face and pecking his nose.

"Now come on, I'm swimming with you at the beach house for the last time whether you like it or not." I say, my hands slowly trailing down his body as I run away.

He chuckles, throwing his towel that smelt like his evergreen cologne at the back of my head as he walks behind me, hands still in his pockets and a smirk on his face as he stares at me.

I rip off my shirt and my pants revealing my bra and underwear that I unfortunately slept in. My back aches to be free but I can't as I run into the water.

"Come on!" I scream.

"God I'm gonna marry you, Roxy."

"You better!"

:;

He yawns as he throws me onto his bed at his home. "Does your mom want you home tonight?" He asks as he sits down next to me, his arm going around me and pulling on top of him.

"My mom doesn't even want me in general." I say with a chuckle, "It's fine my mom does." He says with a chuckle and I nod.

"Wait- ew- god- I don't want to be in the bed you and Pearl has sex in-" I squeal, trying to wiggle off of him but he keeps me still as if it's easy.

"Calm down." He says and I scrunch up my nose.

"No! She was nasty!" I say and he chuckles, "I never slept with her on this bed. It was always somewhere in this room but never the bed."

"Why? That's kind of a dick mo-"

"Because there are only two people I allow on my bed."he starts, looking me in my eyes and pushing my hair behind my ear, "You and me." He says and I smile too.

"With the exception of Reed?" I ask and he chuckles, "Yes, Reed is allowed to sit at the edge like a dog." He says and I laugh.

Reed was Leo's best friend, he has black hair with brownish highlights and his hair is long at the top and short on the sides so it falls to one side. He always had the biggest crush on Rose and Rose always had the biggest crush on him.

Leo never objected.

But when me and Rose were in eighth grade Reed got a girlfriend, a long term girlfriend that he still has. She's the sweetest person, but I know deep down that Reed doesn't like her. He just didn't have the balls to ask Rose out.

She was devastated, her long term crush got a girlfriend and stopped talking to her. He's at this point trying to get over her. But Leo and I know that won't happen.

Anyways....

"You said you would play me that song, Leo." I mention and he nod, "Oh! Right, must I remind you it's kind of cheesy."

"Don't worry I Love cheese." I say as I give him all of my attention, he chuckles, "god do I know... When I cook grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner you like melt." He says and I nod.

"Well you make it really good." I say shyly and he smiles, "I never said I didn't like it."

He strums his guitar, tuning it while he looks at me. He slowly strums each one and quickly twists the tuners and then tests it again.

"Okay, I'll start but you have to promise that you'll go on a date and stay the night with me tomorrow."

"Give me a reason." I say and he smiles.

"Reason number three? Four? Two hundred seventy two? that we are meant to be is.... drum roll please... the fact that we're both smokin hot." He says and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Don't start! I am about to sing you a full song about why I like you so use those, I'm not about to waste 800 of my reasons, then all I'll be left with is all the ones about how you speak or some crap and then I'll have to pay attention to what you say-"

"Shut up!" I screech and he laughs, signaling he was joking as he starts playing.

"No good at swimming.

I've got no use of divin'

Even in a scuba suit I still feel like I'm dying

And I don't need to look for buried treasure on an island I have you

Cause you're my jewel."

I smile as I rest my hands in my hands.

"Diamonds are forever

But I've got something better

Yes I do

All the precious metals

Are just roses with out petals

Next to you

Cause you're my jewel."

I smile as I leave the house, thanking Jemma and Lucio for everything, punching Rose's arm, and smiling at Haze with a hug.

Leo walks me outside, just before my mom can see me and smiles, kissing my lips. "Remember, I'm coming and picking you up tomorrow." He says and I nod, turning my head around the corner as I watch my mom apply lip gloss in the mirror.

"Leo... I don't want her to drive me." I say, my fear rising. "It's okay, Baby. Here," he says, taking off a golden ring and smiling at me, "Just use this to think as though I'm driving you. I know your mom wants you to get over it and I know you don't won't that but.... I'm going to college next year. I won't be able to drive you." He says and I nod.

I've always had a fear of driving and cars ever since my dad died, but Leo made sure to show me how he's a safe driver, and that he never drives at night. So I only trust him.

"But it's dark out, Leo." I mumble and he kisses the ring before putting it on my finger.

"You have me, remember that." He says, kissing my forehead and I smile.

"Let me give you a reason, Leo." I say and he nods, his hands pining me to the wall. "Go ahead."

"Reason #1 that we are meant to be, Roxanne edition: The fact that you are the only person that can drive me, that you make me safe." I say and he smiles.

"You're just convincing yourself." He says and I smile. I kiss his lips and walk away. "Goodnight, Leo."

"Goodnight, Roxanne."

When I get home, my mom driving me home in a silent car ride, I can tell it's different. She's always different when we're not around Dave. She acts like she wants to tell me something but can't push it out.

It just reminds me of when she loved me, when she would talk to me when my dad was still alive.

dad....