11

IF I COULD GO BACK I'D LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE

FLASHBACK

LAST BEACH TRIP, BEFORE THE KISS

"LEO, WHAT'S that?" I ask him, as I sit with him on his surfboard. Sure, I didn't know how to ride it but I've always wanted to. He said that next time he would teach me.

I was sitting in between his legs, his arms around my stomach holding me to him as we watched the sunset in the calm waters.

"Oh, you've never seen that?" He asks, looking down to where I was pointing. He has a large red spot right above his knee. "Well it's not my fault you only wear jeans." I say and he chuckles.

"No it's just.... I thought everybody knew." He says and I nod, trailing my finger over it to see if he would hurt. He wasn't, he just chuckles. His toned bare stomach is tensed behind me when I touch him, his breathing in heaves that I feel against my ear.

He runs his hands along my bare stomach as I sigh, leaning my head back to look up at him. "So what is it?" I ask and he bends my head, tilting it back the right way and putting his head in the crook of my neck.

"It's a birthmark." He says, and I lower my hand to push up his short leg, seeing how far the red patch goes up.

"That's so cool." I say and he chuckles. "I know I'm co-"

"Shut up, Leo." I say, cutting him off as I giggle. "Oh really?" He asks as he smirks evilly against my neck. His lips graze it as though he was going to give me a kiss, but he wasn't.

He slowly pushes me off the surf board as I scream, just getting a mouth full of salt water as I'm enveloped in the cold, but warm water.

END FLASHBACK

:;

Knowing that our family is walking back and we decided to stay back, so nobody is here to see, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back.

He smiles against my lips, his touch gentle as he moves his hands all over my body. His lips and I's move in sync as I move my hand to his hair that was begging me to run my fingers through it and slowly massage his scalp.

It's like everything slowed down as his hands grabbed my face as he asked for permission inside of my mouth, I tug his hair as a yes and open my mouth for him. He lets out a groan that makes my entire body shiver as he moves his hands farther and farther up until they were right below my breasts.

I arched my body into him as I moaned into his mouth just from his touch. He sighs as I move one of my hands onto his thigh, right where his birthmark was.

I drag a finger up his body until I reach his stomach, trailing the finger along his abs as his stomach shivers and twitches, his breathing ragged.

Our lips part from each other as we stay with our eyes closed, our foreheads leaning against each others. I feel his heavy breath fanning over my face as he grabs me by the butt and moves us back onto the surfboard.

I bite my lip and he groans.

"Fuck, Roxy...." Leo whispers out breathily and I let out a plead as once again the beautiful colors of orange and blue from the sunset spill over our skin.

"Please don't..." I plead and he grabs onto my hands, intertwining our fingers. "I'm not gonna spend my senior year making you think that I never wanted this, Roxy. I do, and I just want you to know that." He says and I swallow.

I open my eyes and back my head up, grabbing my surfboard and getting off of his as he watches me with eyes that wait for a response.

I sigh, my eyes full of tears, but I know what I have to say.

"I've always wanted to hear that, Leo. Always.... but a crush is a crush, most of the time it doesn't end up in a relationship, I always knew that with you. I only knew that though because I can't spend the rest of my life knowing that you could do so much better."

He looks at me with furrowed eyebrows, his eyes squinted as he grabs onto my hand to stop me from leaving.

"No, no you can't say that... what did I do wrong? If I could get a redo I would." He says and I give him a sad smile. "You were too amazing, Leo. You're just like me, you know how to push my buttons but just enough, you know how to flirt with me, you know how to act around me, you know how to cuddle me, you know that I- I lo- like you. You know everything Leo and I know everything about you, so I knew that you're too good for me. Another girl deserves that way more than I do."

His eyes fill with tears as he jumps off of his board and next to me, holding my hand as his thumb rubs against the back of my hand.

"If I could go back I would love you so much more, Roxy. I would love you so much better. I would show you every chance I got." He says and I smile.

"We both know Haze is more my speed." I joke and his face drops, I smile at him, my heart screaming at me to tell him to break up with Pearl.

"I'm joking, Leo." I say and he pushes me into his chest. His arms going around me as he hold em as tight as possible.

"If I show you—that we're perfect for eachother, no matter what your family or my family thinks— will you be my girlfriend?" He asks and I smile widely at him.

"I love my guys determined." I say with a smirk as an answer, his arms slowly drop me as he pushes me away.

"I'll make you mine, Roxy." He says and I sniffle, looking at my palms. "What will your friends think? What if Rose hates me? What about all of the things you said last time we kissed?" I ask nervously and he bites his lip.

"We can fix all of that, Roxy. My friends don't fucking care, you've met them, Rosie will understand. I'll make it perfect for you."

I smile at him and swim up to him, hugging him and letting my tears drop into his shoulder.

"You'll see, we're meant to be Roxy." He whispers and I smile, sniffling and looking up at him.

"Go eat dinner with my Rose, I gotta think about our first date and how to break up with Pearl." He says and I smile.

:;

I take a bite of the pasta that Jemma made when Leo comes in, his entire body is wet as when he was out a storm happened.

He comes up to us and sighs, "So. I just broke up with Pearl." He says and I smile at him as he switches his eyes between me and his mom to see our reactions. He smiles at me before flipping his face towards his mom.

"Thank god you asshole." Lucio growls as he gets up and hugs his son, "I'm not gonna be rude, she was beautiful-" Jemma hits him, "But she was kind of a horrible person. I mean, she was nice, but she was the fake kinda nice." Jemma finishes for him and all of us nod.

"Nah she gave Rox bad looks all the time." Rose explains before taking another bite. "What?!" Jemma squeals, getting up and looking at Leo. "Jace McClure you asshole did you know?!" She screams and he puts his hands up in surrender.

"Why do you think I broke up with her!" He defends and Lucio sighs, "because she was fake."

"Amen." Rose says with her mouthful of food, we both look at each other and laugh at her and her family.

"She left on the earliest flight." He says as he runs his fingers through his hair and leans against the couch with one hand holding him up.

"So that's why she came in angry and left with her bags." Lucio says sarcastically, as if we didn't know.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that part." He says with a chuckle as he slicks his hair back with the water that's in it.

He takes off his wet shirt and folds it, walking over to the dryer and putting it there.

"I'm gonna change, but since we have to leave tomorrow it's movie night right?" He asks and Jemma and Lucio smile and nod.

"It's movie night?!" Rose and I squeal at the same time, giving each other a high five to speak about it without speaking.

"Yeah." Lucio says, walking over to the movies as Jemma gets the projector out of the box. We didn't expect it to rain, but it's fine since we'll be under the deck.

Right when you step out the back door of the beach house you're on a large deck covered in a bungalow-type roof. Every beach trip we push the outdoor furniture around and play a movie against the side of the house using the projector.

"We do it every year, hunnies." Jemma says as she dusts the item in her hands off.

"I guess I thought we weren't doing it this year.." I mumble and Rose nods, "Me too." She confronts and they shrug.

"Are you happy?" Jemma asks and Lucio chooses it down to three movies.

"Of course!" We scream and she chuckles, "When Jace comes out we'll let him pick the movie, you girls go get changed into your comfy clothes. Lucio, Jace, and I will move the furniture and you guys will get the snacks?" She asks and I nod.

"Sounds good, thank you Jemma!" I say as I walk into Leo's room.

His hair is falling in front of his eyes as he ties is sweatpants string on his hips lowly, showing off his toned stomach.

"Do you still not know how to knock?" He asks and I shake my head with a smirk. "Nah, who says I don't want to see everything." I wink and he growls, coming up behind me while I go through my bags, a cold drop of water form his hair falls onto my shoulder as he swallows.

His hand goes to my hips as he kisses my neck lightly.

"You're so confusing." He says and I furrow my eyebrows, "How?"

"You tell me you don't think you'll ever be good enough for me, and now you're like this... it's just... what changed?" He asks and I sigh.

"Well, what you said made my heart beat so fast and my legs barely able to swim, I knew that I loved you and that wouldn't change, but what I didn't know was whether or not you really wanted me or if you just hated Pearl. What you said cleared that up. It made me think that maybe if I gave it a shot we could work. I know I'll still never be good enough, but maybe you want somebody a little more my speed."

His eyes bore into the side of my face as he smiles.

"You know about how I wanna write songs and paint, right?" He asks and I nod, pulling at the hem of my shirt until I pull it off. I shake my head to fix my hair enough as he swallows.

"I'm still not your girlfriend yet, eyes up here." I say and he bites his lip with a shake of his head.

"I'll make you my girlfriend... I promise.." he mumbles before he shakes his head, turning away while I change.

"Anyway, I wrote a song for you a while ago and I thought maybe once we get back home and I see my guitar I could show you." He says and I smile towards the wall, knowing he can't see it.

"That sounds great." I say as I pull off Leo's sweatpants I put on after I got back and change  into my pajama shorts.

I turn around and his head snaps away like he want looking. I slap his shoulder and squint my eyes at him as we walk out.

"Me and Rose are getting snacks, you guys are picking the movie and moving the furniture" I inform him and he nods, rubbing his hands together before he pushes me off by my butt.

"See you out there." He says with a wink as I scold him with my face. I walk into the kitchen and chuckle with a shake of my head.

"What are you smiling about?" Rose asks quickly and I throw myself back. "You scared me!" I scream as she giggles. "Fun." She says in victory, turning around towards the counter and pouring m&ms into a small glass bowl. I grab some popcorn and cook it in the microwave, cutting the butter and making my special butter sauce that I drizzle on top—even though it's kore like I'm drowning them.

"What movie do you think they're gonna pick?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"Knowing my brother something like a Fifty Shades of Grey." She notes and I gag. "Gross man." I point out and she shrugs.

"It's right though." She says as she smirks evilly at me, opening a bag of skittles and holding them over the bowl of m&ms.

"You wouldn't dare-" I screech and she smiles, "But I would-" she starts as I push her out of the way, pushing myself in front of the bowl of m&ms. "You can't mix them you know that! You're I'll ruin my night!" I say and she nods enthusiastically.

"That's the point!" She screams I growl, "You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"Yea, I get to torture you and if anybody else does I'll actually kill them." She says, acting like that was common sense as I roll my eyes.

"What about Leo?" I ask, knowing he tortured me constantly.

"Jesus he's more protective over you then he is over me." She notes, "I can't do anything about him." she finishes with a shake of her head before her head pops back up and looks me dead in the eyes.

"You did not just roll your eyes at me!" She squeals and I wink, grabbing my m&ms that I know are my favorite candy and my popcorn and walking out to the porch quickly.

"You aren't getting away with this!" She calls after me as she begins to fix up the other snacks, I smile as I place our things on the coffee table on the deck.

"What movie did you choose?" I ask them as Leo and Lucio finish moving the couch.

I flip onto the couch and lay my head against a pillow, my legs apart with one leaning against the couch.

Leo rubs his hands together when they're done and sighs, looking towards me as though he is about to speak when his eyes get caught in Me.

He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as his eyes trail over me. They slowly fall back on my eyes as he smirks, looking at me like I'm his world.

He jumps into the couch and crawls in between my legs, laying his head on my chest and wrapping his arms under me, holding close to him.

"We picked my favorite." He says with a smirk and I growl, "you didn't!" I screech and he winks at me, "I'll protect you." He says and I scrunch up my face.

I put one of my hands on his back, rubbing my nails in little circles and the other in his hair, running my fingers through it and messing it up completely.

His head digs farther into my chest and I feel his heavy breathing on my upper stomach because of my actions.

"Jemma!" I whine and she shakes her head, her glasses hanging lowly on her nose as she reads on her phone.

"I'm sorry, Hunny, it's Jace's last year here." She says with a lopsided smile.

I groan, knowing that Leo loves scary movies and that his favorite happens to be one.

"You owe me." I mumble and he chuckles, moving foreword to whisper against my neck. "I'll do anything in return."

I shake my head with a chuckle as Lucio throws a blanket over us, sitting by Leo's feet and Rose coming in and setting three snack bowls down.

She looks at me and then the bowl of skittles, then the bowl of m&ms.

"NOT AGAIN!" I squawk and she smirks as she pours the skittles into the m&ms.

"NO!"