BONUS CHAPTER #1

LEO'S POV

AGE 17, BEGINNING OF THE STORY

god... what am I doing.

What am I DOING???

She ran out of the water, my lips still tinged with the taste of her pink lip gloss.

I didn't know this was gonna happen.... it's not on my mother's itinerary for the trip to realize you're in love with a girl you've known for almost eleven years.

But god she was beautiful. She was so... so beautiful.

I keep still on the surfboard, watching as she runs down the sand and to the beach house.

What was I gonna do?

I mean... nobody could know. Nobody.

This is so embarrassing...

But I should've known....

There were so many signs....

:;

FLASHBACK

WHEN HE STARTED WANTING TO KISS HER

AGE 13/15

"Let me hear it!" She screams and I chuckle, "Why would I do that?"

Her brown hair falls down on the pillow as she lays on my bed, her body straight as my hand goes to her stomach automatically, rubbing small circles as it reaches under the thin fabric to do the same on her bare skin.

"Because... you loooove me!" Roxanne explains and I chuckle with a shake of my head, fake gagging. "I don't love you!" I laugh, "I never will.."

Her face stiffens, "You don't have to show me its fine-" she starts, trying to get up but I put down my guitar and pin her down on the bed, my hands holding hers down as she squirms under me.

"Leo let me go..." she pleads but my stomach churns.

Never let her go Leo.... never....

"I'll show you the song..." I start but she shakes her head, "No! It's fine you don't want to, I get it. I'm just your stupid replacement younger sister..." she says but I shake my head.

I've never thought of her as a sister... something about her pulls me in in a way that I can't say is like a sister. I mean... I could admit that she was beautiful and I can't do that with Rose so-

"no! Where is all of this coming from?" I ask and she closes her eyes, her body relaxing under me before she opens her eyes again and looks up at me through her eyelashes.

"nothing..."

And something about our position and that look makes something tingle inside of me. She was so beautiful....

"Just listen... okay?" I ask and she nods , backing up against my headboard as I cover myself with my guitar.

I swallow...

(Drifting Away, Khai Dreams)

"If it's all just a dream
Then I don't ever want to wake up
I think I've had enough of this life and
I could lay here with you and
Watch the world turn
Never say a word
Drifting away on the various notes
She said she liked the way my voice hits the highs and the lows..." I sing what Roxy herself told me, she liked the way my voice could hit the highs and the lows.

"How it reminded her of home
A familiar tone"

I never knew what this song was about before I sang it to her, I would write it's lyrics and cords down and wonder where it was all coming from in my head....

But maybe it was about her?

"I think we've been here before
A familiar zone
It's just
All the days blend into one
It's but a speck of a world under infinite suns
So I chase the inbetweens of what I say and what I mean
Hoping for a better grasp of the life I lead
And the life I need
And what my life means
I've wasted too much time tryna hide my feelings
Now I just want me and you
To watch the sun set just soak in the view and
If it's all just a dream
Then I don't ever want to wake up
I think I've had enough of this life and
I could lay here with you and
Watch the world turn
Never say a word
And as these seasons change and they will change
I know these feelings they will last us till the very end
As the colors start to fade again
Your heart guides me through these rising winds
But now the world's so different yeah the summer's not the same
But it don't matter cuz I've got you here
I'll stay by your side my dear
We will have nothing to fear"

I finish and she's staring at me, her brown eyes glistening in my direction and her stomach raising up and down slowly.

"Did you like it?" I ask but her body jumps towards mine, avoiding crushing my guitar but putting her arms around my neck.

"I'm so proud of you..." she mumbles, and even if my head is screaming that shes fucking thirteen and I need to stop....

I want to kiss her...

I don't know why, I don't know what I'm thinking, but god I wanted to kiss her so bad. I wanted to kiss her soft plump lips she covered in a signature pink lip gloss, I wanted to sneak in her room at her house and have her straddle me... I wanted to stay like this forever.

I rip the guitar from between us and wrap my arms around her waist, pushing us over so she's laying on top of me on my bed.

"Thank you..." my scratchy voice speaks and she smiles, "You always make me so proud that I know you... the real you..." she continues, her voice laced in our southern-like accent.

A tear goes to my eye but I wipe it quickly.

I hold her to me harder, smelling her hair that smells vaguely of a purple flower...

I love you....

Is what my mind is screaming for me to tell her... but I don't feel like that. Do I?

Do I love her?

:;

FLASHBACK

TRUST

AGE 14/16

"I'm scared!" She screams, waiting at the edge of my pool and looking down at me in the water, my blonde hair pushed back with water.

"Come on! I believe in you!" I call, looking over her small yellow bikini. I tried to make it so she didn't wear that out, I didn't want anybody else seeing her like that except me.

You just wanna see her in her underwear...

STOP!

I just can't stop fucking thinking about kissing her on the sand at the beach house.

I mean... god she was beautiful. Her lips stained mine with her pink lip gloss and her skin was smooth. I've tried to act normal but whenever I see her I want to do it again.

I don't know why...

I need to stop.

"I'm scared though, Lee!" She calls and I bite my lip at the nickname.

I was her Lee...

"I'll catch you.." I mumble, swallowing as she bites her lip.

I raise and eyebrow, "Come on! It's less than six feet of water. If you go under I'll pick you up! I promise!" I say, easily standing in the water that comes to my shoulders.

She nods, plugging her nose and shutting her eyes before jumping in, and just before her face goes under I grab her waist and push her flesh against me.

I caught her perfectly. And I grab onto her thighs before picking her up and wrapping her thighs around my groin.

She opens her eyes and smiles at me as I push her against the side of the pool. She grabs the side of my jaw and brings me in, kissing my cheek roughly, the corner of her lips touching mine.

She pulls back, her finger trailing along my jawline.

"Thank you!" She smiles and I do too. Her hand goes to my torso, running her fingers absentmindedly over my abs. Her eyes stare into mine, her thick eyelashes framing them perfectly.

I can feel my member like her thigh and she swallows. I cough, pulling back from my trance of her chocolate eyes.

Remember Leo... she's fourteen...

She's fucking fourteen.

She's not yours.

She's fourteen.

She's at most my sisters.

And her moms...

God I wish I could talk to her dad again...

I could tell him how I felt and he wouldn't care.

But it's only been a year, I have to be strong for her.

And she obviously can't take dick she's 5'4" and 135 pounds at most.

But god my mind is running.

I push my head against the concrete of the side of my pool. I hate being a teenage boy....

I love her though...

NO!

:;

FLASHBACK

BEFORE JOHNSON DIED

AGE 13/15

"John..." I mumble, staring off of the balcony with him. He smiles at me, "Yea?" He asks...

He never cared about what I had to say, he loved his daughter and me, he supported me and everything I did. He was amazing...

"I feel disgusting..." I mumble and he nods, "Jace.. I'm gonna tell you a story, okay?"

I nod, looking at him as he smokes.

"I met Roxanne's mom when I was fifteen.. and she was thirteen. Just like you and Rox. I thought things that disgusted me and I felt horrible because I wanted to kiss this girl who I thought was a baby... I mean... we we're both babies honestly. But we got older. She got the age I was when I started looking at her like I wanted to kiss her and the same thing happened to her. We loved each other. We didn't care what other people thought or about how we were young... how she was really young... we just thought about us. That was where we went wrong. We should've thought about other people too, but it got us to where we are now... and god I love this woman more and more everyday compared to the first day I saw her... the day I felt horrible. So don't mind it.. I know for a fact that you and Rox are gonna get together. And I know for a fact Rox loves you, no matter if you want to admit that about a girl her age or not." He flicks his cigarette off the balcony and opens up the sliding glass door.

"So I don't care if you want to kiss her! Actually Kiss her if you want! Just don't go talking about how you're disgusted by it. You love each other, boy. You'll see." And he leaves.

:;

FLASHBACK

KISS ME

15/17 (BEFORE THE STORY)

I run upstairs, jumping onto my bed and under the blanket, staring out the window at the tent that Roxy and Rose were in in our backyard. Their lights were off, meaning they were falling asleep.

I changed into some tight jeans and a band T-shirt, fluffing my hair before rushing downstairs and outside. I slowly unzip the tent, knowing both of them are heavy sleepers, but seeing Roxy is still awake.

I grab her hand and pull her out, looking at our house in the dark.

I smile at her, "Come with me.." I mumble and she giggles, "Where?"

I push her against the backside of my house, pushing her arms up before looking at her with a smirk.

"You wanna do something?" I whisper in her ear as she furrows her eyebrows. "What do you mean-"

My lips attach to her neck as she gasps, I put my hand over her mouth.

"We're you drinking?" She asks against my hand and I nod, "a little.."

"Then you need to sto-" she starts but she moans into my hand.

I chuckle, pushing my hand down harder and grabbing her hips. "You have no idea how much I wanna hear that, Roxy, but you gotta quiet down for me."

She shakes her head and I slowly remove my hand from her mouth, "Leo you're drunk and you're not gonna remember any of this. So go to your room, I don't wanna talk about this. I'm not your fuck buddy-"

"I'm not drunk-!"

"Then be a man and kiss my lips." She says, looking at me as I swallow.

I wasn't that drunk, I was a little tipsy but I wasn't drunk enough to kiss her lips.

"I don't want you to leave hickeys on my neck for fun." She says moving away from me as I growl, falling against the wall.

She looks at me one last time, "I'm not gonna talk about this ever again.."

I love you...

NO!