Jax

"I really do love you," She says softly before she opens the door to the bar. 

"Your brother is dead. Axel killed him. May want to relay that message to your father." I blurt out, watching her freeze in her tracks. 

She bites her lip and nods her head. I watch her exit the bar and just before the door closes, I say "I love you too."

I don't know why I said those words, but they slipped out before I could even think about it. If she heard them, she didn't react. I expected her to come running back to me, but she doesn't. She just disappears. 

And never in my life have I felt so lost - not even when dad was killed. I knew where I belonged then. I knew I had to lead my brothers. I knew who I needed to be. I knew the role I had to replace. 

But, now. I don't know. Nothing is clear to me right now. My future is just a big huge blur. It's like she took everything with her when she stepped out of that door. 

My entire being is screaming at me to stand and follow her. Fuck everything. Fuck who her father is. Fuck what she did. I need her. I need her to live.

But, I know that's impossible. I have a club to run. I have brothers to take care of. The Sons of Silence depend on me to lead them the right way and following after the spawn of the man who killed their President - my father - is just an awful idea. I know that there will be hell to pay if I ever did that. No one would accept her. 

Axel would probably kill her.

Bang.

Speaking of.

"You let her walk?!" He demands, storming in. I stand, expecting a fight. "How could you let her fucking walk, man?"

"I couldn't kill her."

He laughs angrily. "Well, no fucking shit. You should have let me do it if you couldn't, asshole."

I shake my head.

"You are fucking losing it, Jaxon. These men," He gestures to the club. "Rely on you to make these decisions. They have expectations of you that you aren't fucking meeting! You should have killed her! She betrayed you! She betrayed us!"

"I couldn't do it!"

"Then you should have asked me! I would have gladly ended her without even hesitating!"

"You-"

"Boss!" Ryder yells as he runs into the bar. His eyes dart between Axel and me before stopping at me. "We found the mole."

"What fucking mole?" I ask looking at the both of them. Ryder is beaten to a pulp and Axel refuses to look at him. Remind me to ask about that later. 

"Of course we found the fucking mole, but this idiot let her go," Axel says, pointing over his shoulder at me.

Ryder shakes his head. "No, man," He says. "It wasn't Roxy."

I furrow my brows in confusion, my heart stopping. "Then who was it."

"You wouldn't fucking believe me." 

"Try me."

He nods to the door, asking me to follow him and I quickly oblige. "The fucking rat has been hiding under our nose the entire time, boss." He says, leading me to the back of the bar. When we round the corner, I see three of my men standing over someone whose face is hidden by a brown bag. "Remove it, Dennis."

Dennis nods his head and rips the bag from the traitor's head revealing none other than Slade.

"What the fuck?" I say in disbelief as I look at the badly beaten face of my prospect. "Are you fucking kidding me, Ryder?"

"Nah, man," He says, pulling a phone from his jacket pocket and throwing it to me. "Caught him sending off information to Trevor Myers himself. There are hundreds of messages. This has been going on for months."

I growl, driving my fist right into Slade's already injured nose. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

He spits blood out of his mouth to the grass before laughing. "I guess you caught me!" He exclaims, raising his hands over his head. "Took you long enough."

"This has to be some kind of joke," Axel says as he looks at Slade in disgust and disbelief.  "Please tell me this isn't real."

Slade grins, a few of his teeth missing. "Not a joke at all!" He yells before laughing again. I've never seen him like this. He's wild with insanity - walking a fine line between stability and madness. 

"You are fucking family! Family doesn't do this!" Axel yells before kicking Slade to the ground. "I'm going to fucking ki-"

"Kill me? I knew what I was in for if I ever got caught. I ain't fucking scared."

"Why?" I ask, my voice demanding. "We have all been there for you. We took you in. You were one of us!"

Slade laughs again, this time coughing up blood that runs down his chin. "I have my reasons." I punch him again. "And I almost got away with it too. Especially with you being so quick to believe Roxanne fucked you over."

"What the fuck are you rambling about?"

He grins again. "Roxanne had nothing to do with his, Boss. She never betrayed you. She never sold you out. Actually, she tried to buy you time." He shakes his head. "She's a good one. You fucked up."

"Fuck this," I mutter as I pull my gun out and aim it for his head. Without hesitation, I pull the trigger. Blood and brain matter spray out the back of his head as the bullet travels through his eye and out the back of his skull. He falls to the ground with a soft thud. "Get rid of his body."

Dennis and Larson nod their heads while the third guy, Gerry, stares at Slade's body. He's a little pale. Probably wasn't expecting me to kill him so quickly. 

"Axel, read these. See what he's said. I need to know how much he told them and what exactly he's told them." 

"Yeah, man," He says, taking the phone from me and heading towards his truck. He needs a minute and I don't blame him. I think we all do after killing one of our own. 

"Ryder, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything, boss."

I sigh. "I need you to make sure Roxanne is-"

"You don't need to say anything more, Jax. I got you." He says, smacking my shoulder before jogging off to his bike. It's time to upgrade him from Prospect. He's shown his loyalty. He always seems to have my back with everything - never questioning me like Axel. Maybe he can replace Slade as SAA. I think it be a good position for him and he's shown his worth. I'll have to run it by Axel later.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Axel roars from inside his truck. "Fuck!"

I rush over to him. "What?"

He doesn't look up from the phone, scrolling up as he continues to read the conversation. "He told them everything - shipments, property info, financial records...the entire works." He states, shaking his head. "There are names even. Jaxon, there's months of information here. He sent everything. Everything."

"Fuck."

"Jesus, he knew about the attacks too. Told them where he would be standing even. He was smart with this, Jax. A fucking pro."

I take the phone from him and begin reading through the conversations. "He even mentions Roxanne here," I say. "'There a girl hanging around Jax. Seems pretty important to him.'"

"So Trevor knew about you two?"

"Doesn't look like names were ever mentioned. He simply replied with 'She's not important right now but keep an eye on her' and she wasn't mentioned again." I say, relief washing over me. 

Axel nods his head. "Slade didn't know who she was to him."

"Doesn't look like it."

"I don't think Trevor was aware of his sister's involvement with you," Axel says thoughtfully before looking over at me. "I don't think she was involved in this. I think she was telling the truth."

I rub my hand over my face. "She wasn't lying to me," I say, shaking my head. "I figured that out when I saw it was Slade under the hood. You have no idea how I'm feeling right now. What the fuck did I do? I just sent her away when she was trying to tell me the truth the entire fucking time."

"I'm sorry man, I thought she-"

"I did too," I say, cutting him off. "I did too."

"I kinda pushed you into it."

"Nah, it ain't your fault. I did this on my own. I just hope I can catch her before she's gone forever."

"If you do, lock her down for good man. Don't lose her like I lost, Adalyn."

"I can't find her anywhere," Ryder says as he storms into the bar. He's been gone all morning. "I checked her apartment and all the known addresses we have for the Red Devils. It's like she fucking disappeared." 

"Did you check the address on the Myers kid's license?" I ask him as panic begins to settle in my gut.

"It's a fake address. Only thing there is an empty lot. In fact, the sick bastard used Bernardo's old address."

"You're kidding?"

"Not at all," Ryder says as he sits on the stool beside me. "Things are quiet in the city, man. There are no Red Devils riding the streets or anything. I could have been in my cut and lived to tell the tale. Something's coming."

"Call for church. Tell all the men to send their women and children to somewhere safe. Take inventory of all our guns and ammunition. Make sure Dennis and Larson have the Doc on standby. Pay him double if you need to," I order and Ryder nods his head in understanding. "And get my mom to sew this on your cut." I hand him a patch that says SAA. 

He furrows his brows as he lifts the patch to look at it. "What?"

"You deserve it."

"Is this for real?" He asks me, his eyes never leaving the patch.

"Yeah, man. You've shown me your worth and your loyalty. I know I can count on you." I tell him honestly. 

A large smile forms on his lips. "Thank you, Boss!" He says. "I gotta go tell Axel!"

"You do that, man, then get back to work," I say, slapping his shoulder. "I need to make a few calls."

"Yeah, I grabbed you a new phone while I was out. Saw you kinda smashed the last one." He says as he pulls a new iPhone out of his pocket. "Even splurged and got you a fancy case. Supposed to be indestructible." 

I chuckle, taking the phone from him. Before he turns away, I slap him on the back and say, "Thanks."

"Anytime, man. Thanks again." Ryder says before turning and leaving the bar. 

I slide my sim card into the phone and turn it on. It takes a few agonizing moments to set the stupid thing up, but once I do, I dial the number to the one person on my mind.

"Please pick up. Please pick up." I say as it begins to ring. Once the phone stops ringing, I don't even wait for her to say anything. "Roxanne? Thank fuck you answered."

"Oh, I'm definitely happy I answered this phone call."