Sophie's Night

"Right" I uttered rather abruptly.

We had parked a few minutes earlier in the school carpark, my stomach was a jumble of nerves.

I sat rigid in the driver's seat mentally preparing myself for the night, all my years of striving for privacy and no media now hinged on the other people that would surround us tonight in Sophie's classroom.

To get out of the car seemed like a momentous task, I couldn't open the door, my mind a jumble of what ifs and maybe's.

"Righto" John mirrored me, smiling patiently then turning round in his seat beside me, goofily rolling his eyes and winking at Sophie making her giggle and laugh.

I manned up.

"Sophie grab your cardigan. Let's go"

Now or never I guess, gathering Sophie by my side we stepped towards the school. We made the main building with no issues. Now, to follow the path round to Sophie's classroom. Maybe we were going to be ok... Or the paparazzi are behind that bush!!

I must have been eyeing the bushes, the dark sides of buildings and the garbage cans a little too much as John was straight onto me, grabbing my shoulder lightly, a firm grip of reassurance.

"Roxan, the paps aren't behind anything, relax will you. Come on Sophie, your mummy is so excited to get inside to see your posters!!" John scoops up Sophie and runs off like a maniac down the path pointing this way and that, asking her for directions, they giggle and be silly while I chew my nails, slowly wandering behind watching them both together, happy and excited to be here.

"Roxan, how are you my dear" I drew a blank at the woman, then the reality hit me but she hurried on before I could respond to her greeting " Nancy remember?!" The school auxiliary chairperson dashes up behind me. She had a habit of appearing friendly but she makes me feel uneasy, always prodding for one thing or the other. If one person was going to get her claws into John it would be this cougar.

"Hi Nancy, lovely weather" I reply blandly, she wasn't listening to me anyway, her own voice was more interesting by the looks, she steamrolled on over me.

Nancy wore a bright red dress very like one I used to wear, the hem hovered way above her knee and the front was low, daring to reveal all of her assets. Bright red heels and lipstick to match.

My pastel pink was utterly dull and boring, too long and prim, compared to her vampish look but I internally shrugged to myself we were at a school function after all, not back at the Speakeasy Club for a night on the town. I struggled to keep my ears tuned to her words.

"Isn't it just. Now I was just talking to the other members of the auxiliary about end of year dinner venues, you know we always go around everyone's place a drink here, an entrée' there, moving to the next for dinner, then dessert! Perhaps we could include you this year, have your place as a venue, perhaps dessert or the entree?"

"Um... I'm busy." We reach the doorway of the classroom and I just want to get in and out of here as soon as possible. Well, after looking at Sophie's and her friends hard work that is "I didn't realise you had a child in Sophie's class"

"Oh no, you're so silly, I don't. I just come to round up the parents to join in our events or donate, that sort of thing" She looked down her nose at me, then stressed "And the dinner hun- I never mentioned a date" Damn... burned.

She passed me by, not at all happy with my response. I wouldn't have a bunch of strangers in my home, I couldn't. It was milliseconds later that she spotted John and flew like a vulture towards him, arghhh!

"Oh, Mr Lennon what an absolute honour, you must let me give you a tour of our little school. Is this your daughter, she is a beauty" Nancy was about to round up John for a 'tour' when I stepped up and intertwined my fingers through his, holding his arm for good measure.

Nancy's mouth dropped wide open and she took a heartbeat to take, what she saw, in. Shooting John, a furtive glance, I noticed the sly grin, he had enjoyed watching our fingers mould together again.

He was happy I clutched his hand, anyway it happened... even if I was only doing it to try and save either him, or myself, from Nancy getting her claws in, and mauling us.

Nancy wasn't perturbed though and continued her assault on John's attention, asking him this and that, nosey and in his face. The claw, sorry hand, travelling up his other arm tapping his nose like I wasn't in the room. The woman was an absolute horror. I rolled my eyes as John smirked away in my direction. Nancy even had the gall to turn towards the teacher 'accidently' causing her breasts to rub across Johns other arm.

I had to stop my eyes rolling yet again or I would definitely end up with a permanent affliction.

Watching her tangle with John I was just waiting for the sexual overture that was sure to spring from her red lips any moment now.

John surprised me though.

"Sophie, let's go find your wonderful poster" John ignored Nancy and gathered me to his side, a little too close but it did the job, Nancy was left rooted to the spot staring after us. John then whispered in my ear "So now I'm available for hand holding and assorted arm touching..." I turned towards him, tilting my head slightly to show a smile that turned smirk, he leaned in, nuzzled my cheek then planted a kiss for all to see.

"...Come on Casanova, let's find our daughter!" We cosied up and strolled towards the far wall of the classroom where Soph stood with Mrs. Young.

"Daddy, this is my very, very, favourite teacher Mrs Young" Sophie beamed, she was very proud that her number one teacher was finally meeting her daddy.

"Hello, I've heard heaps about you Mrs Young, Sophie is always chatting about her lovely teacher" John gently flirted and the usual straight laced teacher blushed pink, shaking Johns hand, a Beatles fan for sure.

"Mr Lennon welcome, thank-you for joining us tonight. I hope the natives behave for you! Now Sophie show your parents your wonderful poster"

"Mummy, Daddy over here. Here it is" John tugged me with him as Sophie led him by the other hand over to her creation. Pointing out our pictures, and hers, drawings, and her still developing handwriting.. she positively beamed.

We were finally mummy and daddy with our daughter- together.

I felt my heart burst and almost sing with happiness, this was what I had always wished for.

As we moved through the room and viewed the other children's posters and met parents, I was astounded at the behaviour shown. Most were wonderful, enthusing to John about his music or the state of affairs in trying to keep peace in the world but the odd couple were just plain rude, completely forgetting children were present, heckling John about the 'Jesus' incident!

That was eons ago!

John seemed prepared for it though. He must have had his fair share of run ins the way he cooly and efficently cut through the narrow minded crap.

"Ice-cream for supper Sophie!? Shall we get some at the store for home or indulge in sundae at Icedream's Café?" Sophie was now playing with her friends but it was late and we needed to be home. I yawned tiredly. I was bone weary, achy, a headache looming on top of it all.

"Icedreams. Icedreams!! Please mummy, just for a little while"

"OK let's go. Where's daddy?" I knew damn well where he was, cornered by Nancy yet again. She was trying to get signed autographs and albums out of him for a raffle and probably a whole lot more.... by the way her hands wrapped possessively around John.

"Go fetch daddy huny"

Sophie quickly brought John back over to my spot by the door, smiling happily as he held her tiny hand and we all head to the car, and onto  the Sundae kingdom that was Icedreams.

"Thanks Sophie for saving me from the red devil!" John shook his body like he had been touched by Satan, Sophie laughed not really knowing why, her giggling persisted til we got inside the almost empty café.

Choosing flavours and toppings got us recalling fun times with the lads, I felt comfortable chatting about the early days and John seemed to realise quickly that I was open to the conversation so directed me into more memories of us all and Beatlemania.

Memories of London flooded over us like none of the ensuing hard times existed. As we worked our way through the years though, we would falter and baulk at mentioning topics, as perhaps the lovely night would be derailed if the cold days of the end made a show in the flow of words.

As with all good things they end, so even if I wanted to sit talking of the old all night long, I couldn't. Sophie needed her bed and we arrived home greeted by the silence being broken only by the crashing of distant surf. Soph was still awake but very sleepy, she was snuggled high on Johns shoulder. We speedily went through the nightly rituals of teeth, hair, pjs and bed.

As I tucked Sophie into bed John wandered in, 'Alice in Wonderland' in his hand, he sat next to Sophie and read her a page or two before she fell asleep.

As I strolled off to bed, listening to his distinctive voice act out Cheshire cat and Alice I smiled, but my body and head was thumming, so went to the bathroom medicine cabinet to grab the paracetamol bottle and tossed back a couple of painkillers hoping I felt better in the morning.

The headaches were nothing sinister just the stress of business, reading endless reports and dispositions. Eye strain, brain strain and tiredness swirled endlessly I suppose.

Never ever have I told John I suffered headaches, even small ones; and I never will. His friend Stu suffered them terribly then passed away all those moons ago.

John kept a fear within, which I knew... I know, implicitly.

He fears any disease, any pain, any niggle, any headache.... and it made, and makes, me stay silent on nights like tonight.