As the party split into groups of fours and fives they were lead through the park and introduced to different animals, I was one of the last off the yacht so my group was Brian, Freda and Mal. The lads had, unsurprisingly, disappeared the moment we docked.

Two hours later we reassembled at the giraffe enclosure with many getting the opportunity to feed the beautiful animals carrots and celery, the giraffes taking the food with their long tongues.

"Did you see those crocodiles over yonder must have been eight metres long; this little skinny lass fed them a whole chicken off a Spindlerly stick!" George rushed up falling over himself to tell Brian and myself his adventures, his eyes shining with excitement.

"We missed the feeding there but we were able to pat and feed the elephant, what was her name again Roxan?" Brian smiled broadly remembering the animal.

"Rosie, yes she was so gentle taking one peanut at a time in her massive trunk!"

"Boo!" John dashed up and yelled over Brian's shoulder "What are you lot chatting about- work I suppose" rolling his eyes.

"Actually" George grinned widely "We were recounting out meetings with the wildlife and another one just turned up over Brian's shoulder!!"

'Hey!" John grasped George and put him in a headlock under his arm fluffing a flailing Georges' hair up. "I'll have you know I'm only an animal when I've 'ad a few"

"Everybody. Could I have your attention please" Lauren, the head keeper, spoke up to get everybody's attention. "We have one more section to take you to! We would like to introduce you to all the lovely cuddly Australian animals we have here. Please follow me"

Everyone soon found themselves surrounded by kangaroos, all hungry for the little bags of pellets we had for them. Rich was fervorously taking photographs of everyone so when he came up to me I quickly took his new camera off him.

"Hey! Rox carefully with that!"

"I'm not going to hurt it Richie I just want YOU in some photos too! Now let's get you down on the ground laying next to that sleepy 'roo there. Great pretend YOUR asleep. Gear. Ok pretend to ride him- John!! quit getting in the picture. Stop your sulking Lennon, there must be a hundred of you already, right Rich!?"

"Oh hundreds of the lads I would think, yes" Rich smiled as he patted the roo feeding out of his hand "Hey that tickles!"

I laughed and took a shot of Rich holding his head back laughing with the kangaroo having a puzzled look on his face from the noise.

"Koalas, look Rox" John bounded up like a excited puppy as the keepers walked out with four sleepy koalas "Where's Paul he should go first!"

"Paul. PAUL" John bellowed toward the back of the enclosure, a boy in man's clothing he had the charming ability to turn it off and on instantly.

"I'm right here, Johnny boy!" Paul said looking up from his spot on the ground no more than five feet from John. The kangaroo calmly munching food pellets from Paul's outstretched hand.

"Oh right missed you son. Come on get up, let's see these little koala bears over here. Get a couple of pics of the birthday boy!"

"OK Roxy give back my camera, your turn, get over there with Paul and John. Right OK, smile. John turn this way. Rox look at me for a moment. Paul yep. Smile. John this way! Loverly!" Rich was a natural photographer.

The beautiful soft grey koalas lazed in our arms like sleeping babes but slightly heavier. "Gorgeous, aren't they?" I whispered to both the boys.

"That they are Roxan. That they are. Do you think I can take one home?" Paul whispered quietly back as not to startle the sleepy bundle of grey.

"Hey. Look at me I'm a gum tree!" John held one hand high with a full branch heavy with gum leaves dropping over his head and shoulders the koala slowly snatched leaves from the branches. Richie must have taken a dozen photos in those few minutes.

"Awww. Look at them back in their trees, settled for bed" Freda wandered over as the koalas were put away having been moved from person to person, everyone getting pics and smiles.

"Ready????.... Great. Ok follow us everybody!" Freda yelled. Then realised she might have woken the Koalas. So, whispered again "Follow us everybody!"

John and Paul walked down either side of me, Freda was ahead with George and Richie. Turning the last corner, we all gasped. The eagle show/ viewing area was below us, down a few stairs, as it was late, the eagles were roosting. However, the area wasn't dark  it was transformed, covered in fairy lights which hung through the trees, wound around the palms and edging the path, music was playing, chairs and tables were set up around a dance floor. As we all took in our surroundings I realised what was beyond.

"John. Paul" they were looking down towards the banquet of lollies and food below us which George was by now lurking near, deciding on his first treat of the night. I put a finger under each of their chins and slowly lifted their heads  I didn't speak just waited for realisation to dawn and their reaction.

"Bloody nora" "Crikey Rox" "Is that even real" "Beautiful" the lads exclaimed together as we all drank in the sight.

We were high on a cliff; Beyond the party lights was a sky filled with a million stars, the black waters of the harbour stretching out to meet the shining water closer to the city. The buildings, the harbour bridge and motor cars glowed with beauty. Light bounced off them onto the water of the harbour. The waves creating new and different pictures. Little boats bobbed near the bridge, a couple of ferries passed, their own lights moving along with the boat, reflecting on the dark waters as they moved.

"That.. Is bloody beautiful, ain't it" John whispered close to my ear as he hugged me tightly from behind.

Paul glanced at us smiling "So what's the go 'ere then?" He cocked his head towards us. "And yes, this is beautiful, the zoo, the harbour, the lights. Thank-you Roxan"

I held up my hands "Not my idea originally Paul. John here wanted to do something nice for you. Freda and I just filled in the blanks"

"And the places and the boat and the bus and this lovely spot right here. A little credit to you Rox don't you think" John flashed a smile to Paul across my shoulder then kissed my cheek, Paul then smashed into us for a group hug to which I was the meat in the sandwich.

"Thanks guys from the bottom of my heart" Paul stepped back and cocked his head again as if to again ask his previous question 'bout John and I.

"Um" I was mute. No words left my mouth. What was 'this' Is it anything. Do I want anything any way.

"Look mate. We. I. Err. It's just early ain't it. Rox and I are friends first then IF anything happens it happens no pressure no push. Right" He turned me round to face him as my face reddened, a questioning look in his eyes I nodded slowly in addled agreement.

"Well Ok. Sounds gear mates. You two look good together. You should see where the wind blows ya's" Paul smiled sweetly at me and laid a hand on John's shoulder for a moment or two then turned on his heel scrunching the gravel as he left towards his party.

"Was that ok, what I said. Didn't say too much, did I?" John held my arms gently, searching my shadowed face.

A big whoop rang out from the party below us, our conversation was forgotten to the mayhem of the night.

"Better go and mingle" John took my fingers lacing them with his as we walked the last few metres to Paul's bash. 

As we got closer three zoo staff members... all twenty something tanned gorgeous Aussie girls grabbed for John. My fingers falling from his as they whisked him away for their immediate attention, he shot an apologetic look over his shoulder. "OK?" he mouthed. I nodded yes what else could I do. This was his life, I needed to be used to them, girls, fans, press... him being dragged in all directions.

The evening was Paul's and the lads. Of course, they all let the hair down. Well they had fun, their hair was already down! 

A giant cake covered in candles was gathered around and Happy Birthday heartily sung, Paul blowing out the little flames, the cake was cut and devoured in it's entirety.

The female staff gathered the lads up for dancing and drinks and more dancing. I was asked to dance a few times by Rich, then George and even Brian did a slow shuffle with me which was lovely. Paul and John, the more gregarious of the four, were surrounded with both guys and dolls, laughter and stories told of the tours. A couple of girls found their way onto the lad's knees. 

My insides turned upside down but my outside smiled with the group I was sitting with.

I know how touring works now, this shouldn't bother me. I've seen things sure. The boys, Mal and Neil were discreet and happenings very hidden from me but being with them twenty-four seven made it no surprise that I ran into the odd lady or two leaving the suites, from who's room I tried not to decide, but, as the four walk away arm in arm with a lass on each of their arms towards the lion's dens, a private viewing perhaps, I forcibily drag my eyes away and back towards Freda, Mal, Neil and the group surrounding us. Freda holding my hand for minutes under the table before I even realise her reassurance was there. 

..Am I showing my emotions so insipidly, wearing them like a gaudy suit of red and green jealousy?

Wearing a tired smile I danced with Mal and Brian then Freda and I closed out the night, dancing together the lads no where to be seen. I felt flat, like a pancake, i missed them, their spark, their zeal, their teasing eyes as they bantered.

Their? No just one- John Lennon's eye's... I wished were on mine.

"Bus is here. Time to go all!" Brian called them, gathering up his lambs. 

They returned in dribs and drabs from around the darkened parts of the park. 

Tired, happy, smiling, slightly drunk, really drunk, all returning, hoisting themselves up with the help of the rail along the stairs we needed to climb. The tour and today's activities had finally caught up.

The driver scratched his head as he held the cap aloof gawking at his famous passengers, dishevelled and even a couple shirtless.

My forehead pressed up against the cold glass, I strained to see the view of the harbour once more, to see the twinkling vista, the beauty in darkness. The seat beside me dipped with someone's weight, I stayed in place, gazing out that window.

If it was HIM I wasn't ready to see his satisfied smile or maybe the remnants of a recent previous lovers view, the tail-end of lust filled eyes. Or even lipstick on his collar, as the song goes. I was jealous I was. As the realisation dawned on me I bumped the glass 3 times as if to shake the idea out of my stupid head.

"He didn't do nothing" Paul leaned over and spoke quietly to my back. "He just talked ya know" I didn't turn. My head bumped the window one more time "Rox?" Paul tapped my shoulder. I was almost asleep.

As the bus jumped around the narrow corners close to hotel I woke, my head was pressed onto a chest, the shirt was cream with little tiny grey stars- Paul. He was whispering to someone over his shoulder as his head turned ninety degrees, he moved me with him as his body flexed. I lifted my head away and returned to the window. The bus stopped suddenly, jolting me forward, Paul grabbed me before I face planted  on the metal of the seat in front.

"Com'n luv let's get you to ya room"

I felt silly, naive, confused and wanted to wait til the bus completely emptied but Paul being Paul, he was impatient. He tugged me down the steps and into the foyer, a warm hand around my shoulder protectively. "Hey Rox. Want John to walk you up?" My head snapped up at that question.

"No, no thank-you. I'm fine" I found Fredas side and bundled her up the stairs as fast as our legs would carry us.