Note: while reading your introduction, you said you can't endure brutal feedback. For that I can't say I'm sorry. You are the one who requested from me knowingly and like for everyone else, honesty is my policy. Remember, you read the rules and you requested. You were warned.

Author: lily97000

Genre: Romance

What I liked:
- I do admire you for writing a book in a language that is foreign to you. On top of this, you use some pretty sophisticated words. I admire your vocabulary and hope you learn much more. I know I could never do that, so you go!

- Your chapter endings are good cliffhangers.

- After the beginning and the abruptness of it all, I did begin to feel for Emily, and you presented the injustice well.

What I didn't like:
(1) Your intro was way too long. Of course I read the whole thing, but it made no sense. Yes, I have collected that you are a very quirky, spontaneous person, but please try to keep it quick. We would like to get to your story without reading 45 pages of introduction beforehand. Aim for under ten pages. Absolute tops.

(2) Your names are very... ordinary. To put it bluntly, it is incredibly hard to memorize who is who when everyone has last names that sound like first names and start with the similar letters. Their first names are everyday, too. Edward is an older name, so you can keep that, but try not to have too many other ordinary names like Rose, Jake, Michael, Theo, etc.. They are all pretty ordinary. Maybe if someone is from a foreign country or something, have them be named something from their native language. Change it up a bit.

(3) Also for the introduction is this: no descriptions. It's fine to give us faceclaims or whatever, but don't just introduce us to all your characters at once with their quirks, flaws, and place in the plot all in one to two sentences. It kind of really ruins everything about the story. Not only are we not going to remember anyone's names or personalities, but a lot of them sound alike. Now, this observation is from before I read on to the actual story, but all of their stories sound really similar. "He loves her, even though he knows she doesn't reciprocate/doesn't know"... "She is childhood friends with him and likes this other person"... it's all just summing up their love life with the other characters. Why do we need to be bombarded with all this information before even starting the story? It can overwhelm many and may drive them away or they may just skip the intros altogether. My suggestion is to just delete the character intros. Personally, I think faceclaims aren't worth the time of day; I never remember the pictures and don't reference them while I read. Your descriptions should be sufficient by themselves.

(4) After the first few chapters, it seemed like Emily and Edward just kept being put in these romantic situations so often and so dramatically that it became unrealistic. Oh no! My mom only packed lingerie! Oh no! He just had to bring up how much of a friend I am! Oh no! There's no couch to sleep on! I guess we'll just have to share a bed... How unfortunate.

(5) Add chapter numbers, for heaven's sake! When you have thirty+ chapters, it gets a little hard to keep count. You can keep the names, but just put a number at the beginning and it would make life so much easier.

I know you requested me to read the whole book, but I did ask for people not to do that. I read pretty much to how much of the story I think defines the rest and for this book, and that was eleven chapters.

Suggestions:
(1) Shorten your introduction.

(2) Get creative with the names.

(3) Delete the character introduction chapter.

(4) Cut a few of the dramatic romance scenes where it becomes a little detached from reality.

(5) Number the chapters.

I would rate this a 6.5/10.
Really, I would say this is a million times more romance than what I prefer and I got sick of it really quickly. However, I can imagine people who enjoy reading romance would really like this. Granted, the writing is drafty and filled with typos and bad grammar, but that's not my job. I would say that the plot is okay for one couple, but don't apply different versions of the same plot to all four, it gets redundant and there really isn't that much difference between the couples. In summary, I would just suggest that you not focus so incredibly heavily on unrequited love for so long that there's no other plot. It's just too much of the same story.

This is merely my opinion and my advice, please do not try to correct it. This is what I thought of your book while I read it and it is entirely your choice what to do with it. That said, I worked really hard on this. Please be nice and remember that I'm trying to help you improve your writing.