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I'm Not Going To

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It's already been a little over fifteen minutes since Jisoo last saw Chaeyoung in her seat next to Jennie.

Did she fucking drown on the sink or something?

She was already planning on getting up and excusing herself to look for the blonde, but a familiar voice rather prevented her from doing so.

"Jichu,"

She turned her gaze around where she was instantly met by the sight of her ex girlfriend, white, evening dress completely soaked in French Martini and a frown gracing her lips.

Jisoo eyed her confusedly. "What happened to you?"

Nayeon rolled her eyes.

Her hand immediately made its way towards Jisoo's wrist, tugging, attempting to pull her up. Jisoo planned on protesting, but the raven-haired girl spoke again before she even could.

"I need to change into something else. Come with me, please?"

Jisoo didn't want to.

She tried to pull her hand back, but Nayeon's grip was firm, seemingly determined, like she wasn't planning on letting go despite the hesitation clearly evident in Jisoo's features.

Jisoo sighed in defeat. "I can't, Nayeon. We're currently in the middle of dinner."

"Exactly. And I can't carry on with my dress all soaked in cocktail like this. Please, Jichu." She stared deeply into Jisoo's eyes, tone desperate. "A favor for me? I won't even take longer than fifteen minutes."

Shutting her eyes close for a second, Jisoo sighed.

She was supposed to look for Chaeyoung, so she would've immediately said no to her ex girlfriend's plea. But she didn't want to cause a scene at the family dinner table, either. And she was rather certain Nayeon wouldn't just let go of her hand that easy unless she gave in to her desperate request.

So, Jisoo shook her head, removing the napkin that was once sitting on her lap as she got up from her seat. "Fine."

She excused herself politely, her parents, Kai's, and Jennie's nodding to her in acknowledgement before they went on with their chat.

Nayeon didn't even waste a second in linking arms with the brunette, which effectively caught Jisoo off guard. However, the raven-haired girl was rather quick in pulling her towards the direction of the mansion's West wing, where all of the guests' rooms were located, leaving no chance for Jisoo to protest against her subtle actions, anymore.

They reached the room, Nayeon entering immediately while Jisoo just stood by the door.

"Be quick." She said, turning around and facing the quiet hallway, not even waiting for a response from the raven-haired girl anymore.

Although, Nayeon still called for her, anyway. "You're not gonna come in?"

Jisoo furrowed her eyebrows.

She abruptly turned around, facing her ex girlfriend, who was only staring at her innocently - no any form of harm or malicious intentions evident in her facial expression.

Jisoo felt kind of bad. She has Momo. What would she still want from you? She thought she shouldn't have been so rude.

And so, Jisoo stepped inside the room as well, shutting the door behind her. Nayeon rummaged through her closet for another set of formal evening dress, while the brunette just sat on one of the velvet loveseats at the foot of the king-sized bed.

"I'm sorry I had to drag you here with me." Nayeon suddenly spoke, successfully gaining Jisoo's attention. "Am I too much of a bother?"

Well, Jisoo can't just say, Yes, because I was supposedly looking for Chaeyoung right now, if you hadn't forcefully yanked me in here with you as you change, so she chose to just shake her head.

"Don't worry about it."

Turning around, Nayeon sent her a grateful gummy smile - a sight Jisoo once loved staring at all the time. "Thank you, Jichu."

Jisoo shrugged, sending the raven-haired girl a half smile in return.

When she finally found something decent enough to change into, Nayeon walked towards the direction of the changing room by the corner of the guest space, leaving Jisoo just sitting silently by herself.

A few minutes later, she got out, in a black, lace Zimmermann evening dress. When they met gazes, she smiled at Jisoo rather bashfully.

"Does it look okay?"

Jisoo chuckled. Since when exactly did sassy, confident Im Nayeon started asking people if she looks 'okay'? She shook her head, an amused grin in place.

"Like a goddess," she complimented, making Nayeon laugh as well. "What happened to your previous dress, anyway?"

Nayeon sighed, mood instantly changing.

"Well, your idiot of a cousin wasn't looking where he was going, so he just had to bump into me and spill his Martini all over my dress." She rolled her eyes in exasperation. Sighing once, Nayeon looked back at the brunette apologetically, this time. "Sorry again for forcing you to come here with me. You know, I would've asked Momo if she was here, but she's not flying in from Tokyo until tomorrow morning."

Jisoo just nodded in understanding. "I told you, it's nothing to worry about."

They were engulfed in silence, and Jisoo found it rather intense - uncomfortable, given the situation. (They're exes for fuck's sake.) She cleared her throat, looking down hesitantly, completely missing the way Nayeon took slow steps closer towards her.

"So, uhh, we're done here." Jisoo stated more than asked, before standing up from the loveseat she was once sitting on. "Let's get back insid-"

She didn't want it to, and she didn't even realize when exactly did Nayeon grab the back of her neck and pull her in for a sensual kiss. It just happened so sudden, out of fucking nowhere, and it was rather the least thing she'd anticipated.

Jisoo's eyes were wide, breath hitching in her throat. She had to blink repeatedly before hurriedly pushing the raven-haired girl off and taking quick steps back.

"No." Jisoo growled, eyes confused and shocked. What the hell is she doing? "What the hell are you doing? Are you out of your mind?!"

Round, chocolate eyes still exceptionally wide, Jisoo watched as Nayeon looked back at her. She can't read anything else from her expression but desire and dangerous lust.

Nayeon didn't even blink as she inched closer towards the brunette once again. Her lips didn't tug to her eyes, and her strong gaze never left Jisoo's for a short second.

"I've been trying to think myself out of this since Jihyo's party, when we met again after three, long years." Nayeon's voice was soft, and deep, as if what she's saying was something that shouldn't be said to begin with (or at all.) "But I have to be honest with you, Jisoo. I have to show you,"

Jisoo took another step back, hands falling onto Nayeon's arms to stop her from moving further closely.

She shook her head, "Nayeon, no." Her voice was firm and steady, while her eyes were staring just as intensely into the raven-haired girl's.

Nayeon's breath started to turn uneven, voice slightly cracking. "I thought you'd be happy to see me again."

"I am." Jisoo whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat. "But I think you're just confused. We can't do this."

Shaking her head repeatedly, Nayeon sniffled lightly. "We can't? Or you can't?"

"You can't, Nayeon." Jisoo breathed out, trying her hardest to make full sense. She watched as Nayeon's features fell, jaw locking as she looked down, seemingly feeling ridiculous for what she had just done.

Jisoo used the opportunity to take a step back once again, creating more distance between them, while the younger girl just stood still in her spot.

Letting out a deep exhale, Jisoo gathered up the courage to speak once again.

"I think you should break up with Momo."

Nayeon's eyes widened at that, but before her expression could even turn rather hopeful, Jisoo shook her head, sending the raven-haired girl a sad smile.

"But not for the sake of giving this another chance." She mumbled as she stared deeply into Nayeon's dowcasted gaze. "You've been unfair. And I might not know your girlfriend that well, but I do know that she doesn't deserve any of this." Jisoo watched as tears started to slowly fall from Nayeon's eyes, so she took slow steps towards her in order to gently wipe them away with her thumb. "I'm sorry."

The statement just caused Nayeon to cry even more, eyes shutting closed as she shook her head repeatedly.

"I care about you, Jisoo." She sobbed, hands clenching Jisoo's clothes, crumpling them, as she let the brunette wipe the continuous streams of tears away from her face. "I don't want you to lose everything just for that girl."

Jisoo's heart broke.

She had to pull Nayeon in, arms wrapping around the latter's shoulders securely. She planted a soft kiss on Nayeon's head, shutting her eyes as the latter's restrained sobs continued to vibrate endlessly against the crook of her neck.

"I'm not going to."

Jisoo said that with full certainty, voice firm and surprisingly easy, because she knows of what Chaeyoung felt for her, as well. She just hasn't realized it yet.

Or at least, that's what she chooses to believe in.

And that - the idea of Chaeyoung feeling the same way - Jisoo would choose that continuously, whatever might even happen between them.

Bad, or far more worse. It wouldn't matter.

Because doubting Chaeyoung's feelings for her is doubting Chaeyoung, herself.

And Jisoo doesn't doubt Chaeyoung a tiny bit.

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