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What Is Going On?

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She had absolutely no idea how long she's been sitting on the curb, alone, darkness filling up the entire place and only having the bright, silver moon reflect upon her skin and serve as her source of light.

Probably an hour or so?

Chaeyoung felt adrift, like she'd lost yet another part of her life, (she did.) She couldn't stop thinking about Jisoo, everything she's told her inside that limo, every word. She couldn't stop picturing the way the brunette stared at her in rage, chocolate eyes both angry and hurting at the same time. She couldn't stop blaming herself for everything that's happened between them, everything, just as how Jisoo blamed her, (she had every right.) She couldn't stop crying, salty tears streaming endlessly down her face as she continued to mentally punish herself for what Jisoo's been going through because of her.

She should.

Because what if Chaeyoung wasn't scared? What if she was just as brave as Jisoo is? What if she gave them a chance, or if she gave herself a chance to acknowledge everything she truly feels for Jisoo?

What if Chaeyoung did figure it out— with Jisoo?

What if she took the risk with her and they figured it all out together?

Sometimes Chaeyoung gets angry. So much, because why did she have to be the one to have such fucked up past? Why did she have to lose everything in her life and then suddenly, bring all of it back in a ridiculous instant with just one person?

Is all this just a fucking joke?

She wanted to convince herself it wasn't her fault— that she's scared of happiness, of falling in love —because is it really, when all that Chaeyoung wants from the very beginning was to give it all to the most important people in her life, before she slowly loses them one by one?

Why does the world have to be so cruel, taking everything away from her, and then, all of a sudden, giving Kim Jisoo to her like Chaeyoung's life was nothing but some kind of a twisted prank?

How do they expect her to just do it — to just take it. Take all of Jisoo in for herself. She can't. Everything that was once hers, she loses. And she can't lose anymore. Especially if it's something— someone —that holds the entire world for her.

Chaeyoung doesn't think she's strong enough for that.

She wanted to scream, at herself, at something, anything. She was desperate. She just wants all of it out, everything that hurts inside, because she doesn't think her heart can take it all at once.

Jisoo isn't here. She's all alone.

She'd lost her again and it's all her fault.

Chaeyoung didn't even realize when it started pouring, loud thunder clashing everywhere that isn't in her spot by the curb. Street lights are dead, the breeze so cold it stings whenever it brushes over Chaeyoung's reddened cheeks.

She lets out a pained sob, hand clenching her dress in a poor attempt to relieve the aching in her chest.

Chaeyoung felt lonely, and helpless, and scared.

She just wants Jisoo, again, with her, next to her, holding her, wanting her.

Why can't she just want me again?

Huge drops of rain slowly soaked her clothes, wet hair sticking out of her pale face. She was freezing, but she didn't want to enter her building just yet. Maybe if she stayed there alone througout the storm, she'd feel sick.

At least it would numb the pain.

But all of a sudden, the rainfall stopped, and a thick, soft, fabric wrapped around her trembling shoulders securely, giving her warmth. "You shouldn't be sitting out in the storm if you don't have anybody to take care of you when you get sick."

Chaeyoung had to look up, almost hurriedly, eyes wide as she registered the familiar voice that just spoke in a close proximity next to her.

She saw the person even just through the very little light coming from the huge, silver moon shining brightly above them. But she had to make sure she was seeing things right, so Chaeyoung croaked out almost inaudibly,

"Momo?"

Momo just smiled.

And she didn't let go of the umbrella she was holding above both of their heads.

-

She didn't go straight home after dropping Chaeyoung off, scared that being alone in her penthouse would overwhelm her and, once again, mess up badly with her mind.

Jisoo needs to think straight, and whenever she does, she gets away.

She leaves.

Since Nayeon, she's grown accustomed to it, leaving before somebody else could— hurting them before they do so first. Since Nayeon, she's always one step ahead.

Until Park Chaeyoung.

Jisoo had never expected her to come into her life in any way. I mean, who would've imagined heiress to oil fortune Kim Jisoo would somehow find a beautiful girl sitting on one of the bar stools in a luxurious nightclub and get involved with her on some kind of absurd agreement with this stupid, fucked up rule?

It's all Chaeyoung's fault.

Why does she have to be so guarded, so exacting, so compromising? Why does she have to build her walls so high up and be so scared of letting people in?

Why does she have to be so annoyingly accurate of everything that goes on in her life, sticking to some unobtainable plan to make sure her life goes the way it's suppsoed to be, or the way she wants it to be?

Does she have to be that stupid?

And that selfish?

She doesn't deserve Jisoo.

Chaeyoung deserves all the pain she's experiencing right now, all those harsh words, those cold, heartless stares — everything.

Jisoo is better off without her.

Or is she?

She was certain she'd already lost track of time, letting her chauffer just drive and drive like his life depended on whether he'll choose to stop or not. She didn't give a shit where or how far, Jisoo just needs to get away.

But then all of a sudden, street lights died, the entire city being swallowed by darkness. The limo stopped, her chauffer rolling down the small window that separated the front and back portion of the car.

"Ms. Kim, the city's in a black out." He says, meeting gazes with Jisoo through the rearview mirror, "If you don't mind, I would love to hear from my family back at home."

Jisoo smiled, "Of course, Adam."

The chauffer smiled back politely, offering his gratitude before he asks, "Shall I drive you home, miss?"

Jisoo just nodded in return.

-

She gets home to her penthouse, which she expected to be empty. She just wanted to rest, shut her tired eyes and, perhaps, the entire rest of the world.

But when has the universe ever been in Jisoo's favor?

"Oh my gosh, Chu. Thank god, you're okay." She hears Nayeon's voice ringing against her ear the second she enters her flat, generators on, heaters and lights.

And the funniest thing is that Nayeon wasn't the only one waiting up for her.

The raven-haired girl didn't waste a second in wrapping her arms around Jisoo's neck, pulling her in for an embrace. Jisoo rubbed her back soothingly in return, but her gaze immediately fell towards the direction of four other people sitting on her long, living room couch.

"Mother," She mumbles almost breathlessly, gulping when Mr. Kim suddenly appeared from her office, hands clasped on his back. "Father," Jisoo's gaze turned towards the couple sitting together across from her mother, meeting gazes with them.

"Sir, ma'am." She greets Nayeon's parents as well, although her face is scrunched up in confusion. "What is going on?"

Nayeon pulls away from her, thumb caressing the brunette's cheek in order to make the latter face her. When Jisoo did, she saw the younger girl send her a small, reassuring smile.

"Jisoo, dear," Mrs. Im calls out, pulling both Jisoo and Nayeon out of their trance, "We need to talk to you."

Jisoo just stared at her for a second, not entirely knowing what to say, until her mother's voice came ringing a few seconds later.

"It's about the company, sweetie." Mrs. Kim says, gaze soft and comforting, and in complete contrast with the tone her father used when he roughly calls out,

"Take a seat, both of you."

Jisoo only lets Nayeon drag her towards the empty seats across from her parents without muttering another word.

-

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the gala."

Chaeyoung's statement only earned a soft chuckle from Momo, head shaking as she watched the blonde slowly get up.

"We had to pack it up an hour ago because of the black out and the thunderstorm." Momo says, a soft smile gracing her lips. She helped Chaeyoung up, hand gripping the blonde's freezing ones, not realizing she isn't letting it go even when Chaeyoung was finally back on her feet. "You didn't even realize you're all alone in the dark now, did you? Seriously, how long have you been sitting there by yourself?"

Momo was the first to let go, causing Chaeyoung to grow conscious after realizing she was just holding Momo's warm hand all this time. She cleared her throat when Momo reached over again, this time, to fix the huge, black coat she'd wrapped around the blonde a few seconds ago when she saw her from her car getting soaked under the heavy rain.

Chaeyoung sighed, feeling her heart rate finally slow down, relieving some of its aching.

Finally.

She smiled back at Momo, who's still holding the umbrella above both of their heads, mumbling in a soft voice,

"Thank you."

Momo didn't say she's welcome.

She only pulled Chaeyoung a bit closer to her so they'd fit together under the shade just fine. "Don't catch a cold."

Chaeyoung takes note of it.

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Writer's Note:

***Side eye intensifies***

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