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When It Gets Better

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Hirai Momo, the youngest appointed CEO of all of Manhattan's businesses. A legacy in the idustry. A history.

A legend.

She's all of that. Or, at least, she's known for that on the outside.

But behind closed doors, who would've ever imagined that the legend, herself, would actually be capable of making the best hot chocolate in all of the world?

"Good, yeah?" The Japanese smiles amusedly as she watched the way Chaeyoung pulls the warm mug down from her lips, boasting in confidence, "I made that recipe, myself."

When the blonde giggles softly, Momo's smile turned impossibly wider.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not." Momo defends, but Chaeyoung just rolls her eyes. "It's true! Before HM, I've invested all my blood, sweat, and tears on trying to perfect that sweet, savory, marshmallow-y goodness."

This time, Chaeyoung laughs a little fuller, a little louder, and Momo looked like she just completed a major life mission that's been long sitting untouched on her list.

When her laughter died down, Chaeyoung clears her throat in order to mumble in a much lesser form of a pained croak, "So you've gone practicing, you say? How long exactly did it take you to find that perfect mix?"

She expected Momo retort in another one of those silly, jokingly manners of hers. However, instead, the latter just smiled.

"You know when you just fall in love, and you don't even realize how deep you're actually in? When you want your person happy, that you do so much for them, even those things that you haven't even done yet in your entire life?"

Chaeyoung smiles as she watched Momo speak, staring at nothingness as a dreamy chuckle escapes her lips whenever her phrases starts sounding too absurd for her.

And when the Japanese met her gaze, it's even more endearing, especially the tone that she used when she added, "Nayeon likes wine."

Giggling softly at the abrupt changing of topic, Chaeyoung nodded, reaching over in order to wrap her arms around her knees tighter as she stared at a smiling Momo next to her. "So I've heard," She says, remembering what Jisoo had shared with her a couple months back.

A couple months back. It's funny how time flies.

And cruel, because you don't really get to realize how dearly you hold onto something until time makes it a memory in a blink of an eye.

"Of course, you have." Momo chuckles softly in response, pulling Chaeyoung out of her trance, "It's because that's what she wants other people to know." She shook her head, bottom lip tugging in between her teeth as she continued to reminisce openly, "But when I got to know her better, she's different. She's not the same sassy, intimidating woman people works with and for in the office everyday. She's simply... a girl." Pausing in order to swallow the lump in her throat, Momo continued to mutter almost absently, "She loves warm socks and soft cuddles under the sheets; The smell of moist grass after a rainy day just passed; She likes it when someone compliments her dress, and basically anyone who buys her ice cream after a long, tiring day. She loves singing her heart out in the shower, and hot chocolates— those are the end of her."

Momo spoke with so much fondness in her voice, the love reflecting in both of her eyes not once fading even when she finishes off. "I practiced making the best one for her. I learned, myself, actually, because embarrassingly enough, I'm not as great in cooking for the life of me as what people say I am in business." She chuckles, glancing at her hands as her head shook in embarrassment.

Chaeyoung smiles, tone rather light, "Well, when you're Old Money and the youngest CEO in Manhattan, I say, cooking isn't really that much of a necessity for you, anymore."

The remark earned a laugh from Momo, as well.

"I know I have all the money in the world, but Nayeon is a special girl." She glances at Chaeyoung, meeting her gaze, and then returning the huge smile the blonde was currently sending her way. "And no single dollar, nor the most expensive hot chocolate I spend my fortune on, would make her happier than the one I especially made just for her."

Chaeyoung felt her heart beating uncontrollably inside her chest just by listening to the Japanese. Momo really loves Nayeon, that's for sure. The way she told her story, the look in her eyes, it's deeply emotional, and impossible not to notice at the slightest. Momo still loves Nayeon, there are no questions asked.

And just thinking about the fact that the girl she loves is going to get married soon— to someone else, Chaeyoung hurts badly for Momo.

Even worse than she does for herself.

"Then why would she want people to think that she's more into wines?" The blonde asks seconds after, and Momo stares deeply into her eyes when she muttered out,

"Because that is her. Or at least, the version of her to other people is." She shrugs, "But when you get to know your person, you don't expect for them to just stay exactly the way they were when you first meet them. They change, for you. You see all of them, their flaws, their secrets, the softer image behind that big reputation they uphold. Maybe you, and everyone else, got to know Nayeon for the strong, ruthless business woman who likes her wine. But I got to know her as the girl who loves warm socks and hot chocolates on stormy nights."

Silence followed after Momo speaks, mostly because Chaeyoung is lost for words.

Because she's right.

And it's crazy how she wouldn't even realize that if she and Momo didn't happen to have this conversation at all.

When you get to know your person, you don't expect for them to just stay exactly the way they were when you first meet them. They change.

For you.

And Chaeyoung was the farthest from who she was when she first met the brunette. She changed; Her thoughts, her actions, her principles, her plans.

Her rules, (or Rosie's.)

Rosie became Chaeyoung;

For Jisoo.

"To answer your question, though, I've learned to make hot chocolate after two painful attempts," Momo interrupts, tone way lighter this time.

Chaeyoung blinks directly at her.

"You're kidding." The blonde exclaims, disbelief evident in her tone. She only earned a shrug from the Japanese. "But this is so good."

Momo laughs at the compliment, reaching a hand out in order to fix the thick blanket that was already starting to fall off Chaeyoung's shoulders.

"Twice, the night of Nayeon and I's first date. I could still remember like it wasn't years ago. I had to learn so I could impress her." The Japanese bites her lip, tearing her gaze away from the blonde as she mumbled, almost bashfully, "I tried making them twice that night, because the results of my first attempt barely reached, well, my expectations. And then, she laughed at me for being such a show off."

She speaks with so much love, and the wide smile spread across her face, it's stupidly endearing. And it causes Chaeyoung's heart to flutter involuntarily.

"The following week, I learned again; and then again again, the day after. I learned everyday, and I didn't stop until she told me it was perfect." Meeting gazes with the blonde once more, Momo smiles lightly this time, "And the only point is that when we fall all in, head-over-heels in love with someone, we do everything for them. No matter how difficult, or how crazy it is. No matter how much of a fool we make out of ourseleves, we just... do it, you know?"

Those sentences were enough for Chaeyoung to feel another indescribable sting inside her chest, because every word Momo says, it's Jisoo that enters her head.

She mentions falling in love, all in, head-over-heels, and it's Jisoo.

It's simply Jisoo, and that's it.

She felt tears attempting to build up at the back of her eyes, but Chaeyoung was rather quick to avert her gaze and look down. "I know." She mumbles, voice almost inaudible.

She needed another second before being able to look up at Momo's direction again, instantly meeting the latter's soft gaze. Chaeyoung returned her smile, unconsciously reaching up in order to hold Momo's hand that was still resting on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was soft, fragile, open and honest, and Momo made sure to listen carefully. "For ditching you at the restaurant a few days back. That was a major dick move."

She didn't expect for Momo to just laugh lightly at her statement, and when she met gazes with her again, Chaeyoung saw her smiling reassuringly, no anger, no grudges.

Just fondness, and ease.

"Yeah, it was." Momo agrees, although the smile on her face never faded a bit. It didn't, until it slowly did. Until her tone suddenly turned from reassuring, to soft and uncertain, "Maybe considering that next time isn't really the best idea for either of us. Don't you think so?"

It's like Chaeyoung's heart stopped beating, because the sadness in Momo's voice was evident and bare. And the courage that it took her to say that out loud, despite everything that's going on, the blonde doesn't think she'd ever be able to put them into words.

Sometimes, Chaeyoung hates herself, and one of those times is this. Right now, at this moment, where she keeps on making the most complicated choices, even though it would've only been so simple; Turning a blind eye to something that's good for her, something that's going to make things easier, ignoring what's right in front of her in order to chase after something too impossible to obtain;

Neglecting and rejecting and hurting Momo, because she wants Jisoo, and she knows she will keep on wanting only Jisoo and no one else.

It's foolish. Chaeyoung is a fool.

But when we fall all in, head-over-heels in love with someone, we do everything for them. No matter how much of a fool we make out of ourseleves,

We just do it.

And Chaeyoung is a fool. For Jisoo. She will always be. And she will never, ever stop.

"I'm so sorry, Momo." In return, she whispers as she strokes the Japanese's hand softly with her thumb.

Three words, millions of deeper meanings, hoping that Momo would listen carefully enough to catch each and every one of them.

Momo did. And, yet again, she just smiled.

"Me too, Rosie."

Me too. She's sorry, because she tried, yet she couldn't, either. She tried focusing on what's in front of her — on Chaeyoung — hoping it would help erase the remaining etches of Nayeon from the book. Or at least, the chapter. Or the page.

The paragraph.

But Momo couldn't. And how could she possibly do so, anyway, when she couldn't even bear erasing Nayeon from a single sentence?

Maybe they're both fools. They could fall in love. It could be them; Momo and Chaeyoung. They could be happy.

But when people couldn't simply settle for happy, they chase for more. And when they do, sometimes, even the universe has no power to change the names of the characters and rewrite the ending of the story.

Squeezing lightly, Momo gently pulled at the blonde's hand in order to place a soft kiss at the back of it, mumbling softly with a sad smile painted on her lips, "At least, we met."

And sometimes, at least is enough.

-

There are days that are so terribly rough for Chaeyoung, almost as if it's impossible for her to carry on. Some other days, it's just too heavy, the emotional baggage she carries in her chest, that she can barely move, let alone do something about it so it wouldn't hurt so much, anymore.

But one thing Chaeyoung realized after all she'd been through since she was a girl, is that nothing in life ever stays tough, as long as she keeps going and manages to stay ten times tougher. She'd made it, despite losing everything and everyone too painfully soon.

And now, Chaeyoung knows it's payed-off.

"Chaeyoung-unnie!"

Turning towards the direction of the voice, Chaeyoung saw Ella running towards her with the biggest smile on her face, laughing giddily when she threw herself at the blonde and her Chaeyoung-unnie succeeds in catching her in her arms.

"I missed you, unnie!" The little girl beams into Chaeyoung's ear, making Chaeyoung smile just as wide.

"Me too, baby." She says, hugging her sister tighter even when she already gets on her feet, "You've been away for too long."

"Did I miss so much?"

It's funny how Chaeyoung's mind instantly flew back to the memory of seeing Jisoo again after 6 long months, bumping into her in the streets of Manhattan, right after Ella just leaves for Australia with her parents.

"You actually just missed her."
"That's too bad. I'm happy for you, though. The both of you."

Chaeyoung had to blink the memory away, shaking her head lightly before turning to face Ella's expectant gaze.

The blonde reached out, brushing a few strands of hair away from the little girl's face. "Not as much as you missed me, I hope?"

It effectively earned another giggle from the 11-year-old, pulling away in order to face a grinning Chaeyoung properly.

"Can we go get ice cream together, Chaeyoung-unnie?"

It was an easy yes from the blonde.

-

A break. It's what Chaeyoung realizes she could never catch after Jisoo, completely.

"...Kim Corporation CEO, Kim Jisoo's 30th birthday at The Beekman last Saturday has been the biggest conversation since the last two days..."

Her head autamatically snaps towards the mini television at the corner of the ice cream shop when the reporter's voice catches her ear. And it was almost in an instant, the way her heart races uncontrollably inside her chest when the monitor flashes a clip where Jisoo was greeting some of the most popular, highest ranking executives all around the world and welcoming them to the party.

Next to the blonde, Ella's eyes widened. "Unnie, look, that's Jisoo-unnie on TV!" She exclaims, pointing at the direction of the screen at the corner of the shop.

The statement effectively earned a few weird stares from some of the customers inside, including the cashier, who gave the blonde a scrutinizing glance, almost as if recognizing her from somewhere. Later on, she whispers to her co-worker, pointing at Chaeyoung not-so-subtly while her friend mumbles, 'They know Kim Jisoo?' in disbelief, as far as Chaeyoung could read on their lips.

Chaeyoung couldn't help but smile forcedly to herself before turning around and brushing strands of hair off of Ella's face.

"Hey, sweetie, why don't you go save us a booth while I order our ice creams?"

If Ella happened to notice the way Chaeyoung's voice cracked a bit when she spoke, she chose not to point it out to the blonde, anymore.

Nodding her head, instead, she smiled, "Okay."

Chaeyoung sighs in relief, watching the little girl skip away before walking up the register, "Two cookie dough, please." She looked down at her purse after letting out politely, searching for bills, but only to be interrupted by one of the cashiers standing behind the counter.

"Do you know Kim Jisoo, like, personally?" The girl asks, curiosity laced with her tone.

Blinking once, Chaeyoung held back a scoff.

"I'm sorry?"

The other girl, next to the one who recently asked, responded, "Well, that little girl seemed to really know Kim Jisoo when she saw her on the news—"

"Uhm, excuse me, do you mind?" Chaeyoung snaps in return, eyes wide as she stared at the girls in disbelief.

The two seemed to realize how strong they came off, and chose to apologize, accepting the cash and placing the blonde's order without another word.

When Chaeyoung, however, thought that was already too much, she didn't exactly called it right the moment she arrived at her and Ella's booth, only to be met with the sight of the 11-year-old scanning the pages of a magazine in her hands.

"Hey, I got your ice cream." Chaeyoung says, a smile forcing its way to her lips as she carefully places the bowl in front of the little girl.

However, she didn't expect for Ella to suddenly look up at her with a frown on her face, ignoring the blonde's statement when she spoke.

"Unnie," she calls for, almost unsurely, making Chaeyoung furrow her eyebrows confusedly. Ella, then, plopped the magazine down in front of them, the cover side up and boring straight holes through Chaeyoung's skull. "Who's that girl with Jisoo-unnie on the front page?"

It was Nayeon.

The sudden drop in Chaeyoung's chest was awful, because Ella was pointing at a photo of Jisoo and Nayeon printed at the cover of this year's Forbes Under 30 Edition;

And ironically enough, as Chaeyoung was just about to look for the right response, the reporter's words echoed both of their ears once again, causing them to turn towards the direction of the monitor by the cash register.

"...just recently announced her engagement to fashion heiress, Im Nayeon, the same night of her 30th birthday..."

"Engagement?"

Ella's voice was confused when she mumbled to herself. Although, Chaeyoung caught it, and her heart shatters into pieces the moment she turns around to face her little sister again.

She could only wish for Ella's expression to be less readable, because maybe, then, it would hurt less, as well. Maybe if the disappointment in the little girl's eyes was hardly evident, it would reduce the uncomfortable tugging on her heart inside her chest.

But it's not.

And neither was the sadness in Ella's voice when she asked softly, "Is Jisoo-unnie gonna marry that girl, Chaeyoung-unnie?"

She glanced towards where Ella was currently pointing at, the TV, which now flashes a picture of Jisoo and Nayeon with their lips locked together in a kiss that night at the party, and she thought facing Ella and meeting gazes with her once again was no longer possible.

But the little girl held her hand on the table, "Unnie," She calls patiently, causing Chaeyoung to finally turn back around.

The sight of Ella alone was enough for her to be reminded of Jisoo. When she told her about her sister. When Jisoo looked for her. When Jisoo told her she found her. When she first talked to her over video call, with Jisoo next to her.

A break. With Jisoo around, everywhere Chaeyoung goes, it's what she knows she will never catch here or anytime soon.

"I'm so sorry, baby." The blonde barely breathes out, voice breaking helplessly as she tried blinking her tears away. Ella didn't need to be told twice before running towards her Chaeyoung-unnie's lap and engulfing her in the tightest embrace.

Chaeyoung didn't have to tell her anymore, that she's apologizing because she broke her promise once again.

"Will I ever get to meet her? Maybe one day, when it gets better?"
"You will, baby. When it gets better."

Ella knows it already, and she understood.

And she tells her, "It's okay, unnie," even though it's not.

-

Mr. and Mrs. Gross took Ella for a stroll around the big apple the next day, one of which Chaeyoung was supposed to come with, if it wasn't for an urgent meeting she suddenly got called for.

She felt slightly bad, not being able to show her little sister's family around, but Mr. and Mrs. Gross assured her it's no problem, at all, and that they understood Chaeyoung has responsibilities she needs to take care of.

"Sweetie, it's okay." Mrs. Gross laughs when the blonde wouldn't stop apologizing, "You're an adult. We get that there are priorities and very much little of a choice."

"Besides, Ella's classes wouldn't start until the 20th, so we're gonna be staying for the next two weeks." Mr. Gross adds, "Don't beat yourself up."

And so, she came to the meeting, and ended it with relief. By noon, Chaeyoung thought about catching up with Ella's family right after she finishes lunch with Jennie, but then, suddenly, it's Lisa who was running towards their table at the restaurant, exclaiming, "Got the invites!" whilst she waved three sealed envelopes in her hand.

"Invites for what?" Chaeyoung questions, but then, realizes it was utterly wrong of her when Lisa mumbles in return, tone somehow almost sorry for the blonde,

"The wedding."

Oh.

That.

And then, Lisa was handing her an envelope, and it's Jisoo all over again. Jisoo, and then deja vu, when she flipped the card in her hands to read what was printed neatly at the back portion;

To: Ms. Kim

Deja vu. It's just plain cruel sometimes.

Chaeyoung chuckles forcedly to herself, reaching out to give Lisa back the card, "Lis, you gave me the wrong one."

She wouldn't admit her voice was slightly shaky when she said that. Thank god, neither Lisa nor Jennie was inconsiderate enough to point it out, anymore.

"Oh, my bad. Here," The Thai retorts, instead, exchanging the one Chaeyoung was holding with the other that has Chaeyoung's name correctly in it.

However, she frowns when she reads the text printed on the former, muttering to herself confusedly, "Wait— why does it say Ms. Kim on this one, anyway? I think it got mixed up—"

But she was interrupted all of a sudden when Jennie chimes in from across the table.

"Actually," She smiles as she meets Lisa's confused gaze, and then, holds her right hand up to show her ringless finger to the two, "That's me."

It effectively caused both of Lisa and Chaeyoung's jaws to drop on the tiled floor. They blinked at her, watching as the cat-eyed girl just shrugs nonchalantly on her seat as she spoke.

Meanwhile, Jennie lets out a soft chuckle, amused.

"It is Ms. Kim. Nothing got mixed up." She says, unintentionally meeting gazes with the still frozen Thai and sealing it off with a light and easy smile. "We're simply back to square one."

-

The incessant knocking on Jisoo's door effectively caused her to sigh in defeat, pausing her game unwillingly in order to attend to the person outside.

Walking lazily towards the entrance, "Coming," Jisoo calls out before completely turning the knob and swinging the front door open.

She was, however, instantly frozen in utter surprise when she saw who was the person standing behind the door and knocking impatiently on it.

It was almost impossible to catch her own confused voice when she mumbles out softly, "Ella?"

Outside the brunette's penthouse, Ella just smiled.

"Hello, Jisoo-unnie."

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