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It Wasn't You

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Nayeon couldn't meet her gaze.

She was just looking down, fingers fiddling with each other. She can feel Jisoo's eyes burn holes at the side of her head, but for whatever reason, she doesn't seem wrathful of the news.

However, it's been quite some time now since their parents left the penthouse and the brunette still hasn't said a word to her.

It made Nayeon nervous. "Please say something," she mumbled without even sparing the older girl a glance, too afraid of the consequences of meeting her gaze.

Jisoo blinked, a sigh escaping her mouth. "I'm sorry. I was a bit.... lost."

Nayeon visibly gulped. She gathered enough courage to finally face the brunette, who was the one who couldn't meet her gaze this time.

"Jichu,"

Glancing at the raven-haired girl, Jisoo saw that Nayeon was now reaching over to hold one of her hands in hers. She chuckled forcedly, throat growing scratchier as seconds flew. "I really don't know what to say, Nadong."

"Anything." Nayeon returns in a mumble, a soft smile forming on her lips. "Say anything you want to say, Jisoo."

Jisoo didn't know what took over her. Maybe it was the soft gaze the raven-haired was holding towards her, or the small, reassuring smile plastered on her face. Whatever it was, nonetheless, it somehow eased the discomfort in Jisoo's chest, as if lifting a heavy weight off her shoulders, allowing her to breathe. She felt light, and free, like she's finally in a safe zone, away from the cruelty of the rest of the world.

Like she really can tell Nayeon anything and it'll be a secret only the two of them would ever share.

(Or maybe it was the bond they've manage to build within 6 long years of being together, that still remains somewhere beneath the heavy baggage Nayeon had left with her, when Nayeon had left her.)

"I still don't understand why you did it."

Jisoo didn't even realize the words that just involuntarily rolled off her tongue. But it was too late now, as the small smile on Nayeon's face slowly started to vanish.

At first, she thought of taking it back, because fuck, she and Nayeon are finally in a really good place now. No grudges; just pure, unmaliced friendship with a bond too unbelievably strong to ever be broken apart.

But a small part of Jisoo didn't want to, because she knows if they really want to stay in that place, they're gonna have to open up a few wounds again.

Perhaps, let it heal properly, this time.

It seemed like Nayeon understood, much to her relief, because the raven-haired girl released a heavy sigh.

"I used to think, back in college, that this is it; it's you, the one I'm going to end up with. I mean, we were great together. We were happy, we made the idea of love seem so fucking easy. We basically exemplified the whole you meet someone, you fall in love, and that's it thing everyone else always dreamed for themselves." Nayeon smiled, more genuinely. It caused Jisoo to do the same. "Everything I could ever ask for, you know?"

Jisoo didn't respond. She just listened, chocolate eyes silently assuring Nayeon that it's okay to keep going, because she's right there next to her, listening.

So, Nayeon did. "It's all too good to be true, my Jichu."

It still hurt, a little, Jisoo would have to admit that. But it wasn't because she still wanted to go back and pick up where she and Nayeon left off. Instead, it was the anticipation, and the fact that she's only hearing all of this now, when it's already too many years too late than those words were supposed to be said and heard.

"You weren't happy anymore, were you?" Jisoo asks softly, voice too fragile.

Nayeon lets out a pained chuckle.

"It wasn't you. God, it was never you," Nayeon mumbles, her voice cracking the same way Jisoo's was. "You're the person I've loved for what seems like forever, since we happened; you and me. You never messed-up anything. You never did anything to drive me away." Tears started to fall from Jisoo's eyes one by one, and as if it was a domino effect to the raven-haired girl. Nayeon tried to restrain as sob, hand lifting in order to stroke Jisoo's cheek, wiping away the tears before letting it travel towards the brunette's nape and caressing the soft skin there. "You were my constant, Chu. My rock. I almost thought I couldn't live without you and it scared me, so bad. Until it finally came, the day when I realized that something is wrong. I looked at you and you're there, laying next to me, sleeping soundly; And I started to question my own feelings for you; If I really did love you or I just loved the balance that you brought to my life."

Jisoo nodded, hand reaching up to wipe her own tears away. She sighed deeply, watching Nayeon gently pull away from her hold behind her neck.

When they met gazes again, Jisoo smiled. She reached over, thumb softly caressing the younger girl's cheek to wipe her tears, as well.

"Don't cry."

It had to take a few, slow minutes before Nayeon's tears finally stopped falling from her burning eyes. She swallowed, hand now landing on Jisoo's and pulling it on her lap.

"I'm sorry, Jichu."

Jisoo smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, too."

"I want to help you. With the company. I wanna do something." Nayeon cried softly. It broke Jisoo's heart. "I don't want you to lose everything again because of yet another person that leaves you. And if this is the only way I can help pick you back up, I swear to you Chu, I would."

"You don't owe me, Nadong. I promise. It's in the past. You may have left before, but what matters is that you're here now, talking to me; this closure. That's all that matters." Jisoo spoke a bit softer this time, reassuring the younger girl, almost as if she knew exactly what Nayeon needs to hear, as well. "And we don't have to get married, okay?"

"You will lose it all if we don't, Chu."

"I can bear that." Jisoo insists, head nodding firmly. "What I can't possibly do so is to watch you walk down the aisle knowing you will never be happy with me."

Nayeon sniffles the rest of her tears away, head shaking. Her cheeks were unbelievably red, and her voice was trembling when she spoke once again.

"Don't do this, give up your company, just because you want me to be happy." She held their gazes strong, words piercing through Jisoo's heart. "I would only ever be if you are, too, Jichu."

It left Jisoo speechless, almost no idea of what to say to that. How can she be so stubborn, giving up her love for the person she truly wants to be with just to help me fix my own problems? Jisoo had always disliked the younger girl's stubborness, even before.

But what else can she do other than to just let Nayeon pull her in for a warm embrace, arms wrapped tightly around her neck, and face, burrying deeply into soft, exposed caramel skin.

"Think about this, okay?" Nayeon mumbled against Jisoo's shoulder. "I'll always care about you, Jichu. And I still do love you, even if it's not for the same reasons, anymore."

Jisoo only responded to it with a hug even tighter than Nayeon's hold on her.

She didn't tell the raven-haired girl about the fact that she was actually supposed to propose to her back then, before Nayeon left.

After all, this chapter of their lives has officially ended now, and the book is back on its spot on the shelf.

They're finally in a good place this time; a better place.

And Jisoo knew better than slicing back open a properly healed scar.

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Writer's Note:

My bad for the lack of chaesoo lately. (There's more in the upcoming chapters, I promise!!) Chu just needs her closure first, no?

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