013 Thoughts

November 24 (night time)

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Alex POV

Burr. Fucking Burr.

Philip is in his room right now. Not because I told him to be. He just is. John is in our room probably drawing turtles. I love him.

I'm in the living room. iCarly is on. I'm trying to use the humor from this kids' show to mask my frustration. This show's kind of fun. Spencer is such a man chiLd??

I start thinking about when I'm so upset. Theodosia left our house almost twenty minutes ago and I'm still thinking about being in Philip's room, looking at her, and realizing who she was.

I mean Burr is dead. It's been twenty years. (does that make you feel old??) Why does his name still haunt me?

Oh right. He fucking shot me after two others were shot. One person died. Hercules..

And Burr was always a dick. I'm remembering the time when he threatened to shoot me if I didn't shut up...

"Talk less, smi-"

"But I don't want to. Anyway, what I was sayi-"

"Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead," he smirked.

"What does that mean?" I raised my eyebrow, smirking with him.

"It means I will fucking shoot you."

"Do it." He let go of the gun. "No balls."

He took it back in his hands and looked at Washington's office door. As the handle turned, he let go. He walked off, his shoulder crashing into mine.

He was horrible to me during the one year I knew him. He was the worst one. Worse that Jefferson or King, or even Washington.

Burr was like a storm that always hit one place over and over. Me. And in this storm, I can't drown or die. Just like in Nevis.

I shivered. Was I crying?

I made my way back to my bedroom and lied down on the bed.

"You okay..?" John asked.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him and watched him draw.

"Look. It's Fleebus," he said sounding so excited I thought he was gonna poP.

"It's great. You should draw him, like, eating cake while he's on a spaceship."

"Holy shit. Holy fucking shit that is amazinggfgg!"

He flipped the page and started drawing immediately. He kissed my forehead as I fell asleep.

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I'm gonna draw John drawing a turtle eating cake on a spaceship. That would be adorable! *aggresively scribbles on the paper*

I added Fleebus. Kinda. <3

See ya in the next chapter!