You would think that after that me and him would've been even closer than we were before, but that wasn't even close to what happened. Kyoya started to stay out later at nights so that when he came home- if he came home- I would be asleep and he would pass out at the desk. Whenever I happened to still be awake he was always to out of it to have a real conversation with and he would pretend that I didn't exist anyway. I would spend my mornings waiting for him to wake up and when he did he somehow always managed to sneak out without so much as a word to me. He may leave a note that would say where he was going but not when he was going to be back which both infuriated me and made me nervous. During the day I would walk around town looking for him or I would go training alone, which never was as fun when I was battling against Kyoya. I would eat dinner alone, I would read or write alone, and I would lie in bed alone holding back tears sometimes and other times holding back screams.

It was as if he was slowly drifting out of my life before my very eyes and I couldn't do anything. Only a week ago I told him that we would always be friends and now I'm not even sure if he even counts me as a part of his life anymore. We don't speak, we don't even look at each other! I must've done something wrong but I couldn't think of what I could've possibly done wrong, and it was driving me mad! I walked through the park with my head down, listening to the leaves rustle in the wind and the smell of pine was strong which always pleased me. The grass was soft under my feet and the sky was a bright blue with only a few fluffy white clouds that made shapes for little kids to play games with. My hands were shoved deep in my pockets that held my bey, an extra bandanna, and my wallet. I held my head low as I looked at a couple sitting on a bench feeding a few small birds that chirped happily as they ate, which made me smile a little for the first time in days. This would be the third time that I went to look for Kyoya today and it was only noon, but he hadn't come home last night which made me nervous.

I had to assume that he went out and used his fake ID to go to some local bar that gave him one to many drinks, like we used to do every other Saturday. Those were the days before we ran into Gingka and the others making us stop doing so because Gingka always through a fit because it was illegal. I shook my head as I looked at the fountains that had three layers like a cake would and ended at the bottom in a clear pool. I looked at my reflection to see tired eyes and pale skin like I've seen for the past week because of worry and insomnia. "God damn it Kyoya...," I whispered shaking my head before looking up at the sky for a moment. "Why couldn't you be like most people. Why did you have to be the one to get stuck in my head? Why couldn't you be appalling instead of absolutely perfect inside and out?," I shook my head as my fist tightened, trying to fight back tears that stung my eyes to the point they felt fire. It just wasn't fair! I felt tears slowly slide down my cheeks before I wiped them away quickly hoping that no one saw.

"I'm not perfect Benkei," I jumped as I heard a voice turning around to see Kyoya staring at me with those emotionless eyes like always, his arms crossed and his hair fixed. Even though that may be the case I could tell that he was very tired by the lack of color in his cheeks and the way he kept his head lower than usual. My face heated up before rubbing my eyes once more to get rid of any leftover tears refusing to cry in front of him when I was trying to be stern with him. 'Shit,' I thought as I bit my lip knowing that he had heard what I said about him. 'What do I do!? Do I act like I didn't say anything? Do I confess my love right here and now? Do I let him do the talking or I'm I suppose to keep talking? Shit, why can't I be good at these kinds of things!,' I took a deep breath while I listened to the pounding of my heart. "No one is perfect," he said while cocking a brow as sweat covered mine trying to keep myself calm and collected but of course I was failing miserably.

"Where have you been Kyoya?," I asked in as stern a voice as I could because it took everything in me not to scoop him into my arms and squeeze him. His eyes narrowed for a moment before allowing his arms to fall to his sides, "Nowhere important Hawana," he snapped making me take a step back because I had hit a nerve so fast. I felt anger build up inside me for a moment before shaking my head, "Nowhere important! If it wasn't so important why did it take you all night to get back!?," I snapped back and he looked away with his hands in tight fists. His eyes seemed to heat up making them harder than usual while he put up that wall of ice so that I couldn't get through to see what he really was thinking. I glared at him as he studied my eyes as if he was trying to read my mind before he said anything else that could harm his half of the argument.

"It's my business. It doesn't involve you," he eventually said before turning away. I shook my head, grabbing his arm because that wasn't anywhere near an answer I was looking for. "Kyoya you need to trust me! I've been worried sick about you and you expect me to believe a bull shit answer like that?," I said and he flung his body around to glare at me and I looked into his eyes, for a moment I could see something other than that icy blue. I saw what I've been wanting to see, a small piece of Kyoya that would always from this day forward be mine. "Yes, if you trusted me you would let it drop. It has nothing to involve you so stop trying to be involved in something that has nothing to do with you and I plan to keep it that way," he said in a stern whisper that sent chills down my spine. Kyoya and me never really fought but this in my mind was something worth fighting for. I couldn't stand the thought of another lonely night when he was suppose- to be by myside in the room we bought together.

"Kyoya how can I trust you when all you do is lie?," I glared at him again as his eyes widened for a moment before returning back to normal. I knew that I was playing a dangerous game where if I pulled the wrong card there could be dire consequences. "I have never lied to you Benkei," he said making me stop as I heard slight pain in his voice at the accusation I had made, I felt my heart stopped for a moment as I realized that what he said was true. Kyoya had never lied to me and yet... I lie to him every day, and the worse part was he didn't even know it. "Kyoya I-," I stopped as he pulled his arm away, I watched him run away without even lifting a finger because I felt frozen in place as I watched. I saw past that icy wall and all I saw was a plea for acceptance, and I ignored it. No, I couldn't lose him when I was so close.

"Kyoya!," I yelled as I ran after him, feeling my heart beat out of my chest as I turned a corner to meet only a crowd of people. I looked around frantically at the many faces, people, and cars that went past me trying to find my friend who had seemed to vanished in the crowd. "Damn him for being so short," I hissed in between my teeth, looking around again hoping that I had missed something before. I felt my heart leap as I spotted him slipping behind another corner, trying to be sleek but failing like usual. "Thank god. Excuse me," I said in a hurry as I pushed past a few women with carriages and groceries before running towards the corner only to be stopped by another group of people. 'Come on!," I mentally screamed before pushing past, not bothering to apologize knowing that Kyoya could very well be on the other side of town by now. I stopped in the middle of the square panting, sweat running to my face, and my bandanna had been lost in the crowd of people.

My heart fluttered as I saw him standing looking through one of the store windows, but his stare was blank which told me he was thinking. His hands were in his pockets as he slowly looked over his shoulder to stare at me, I knew that if I took a step closer he would run away again. I shivered at the thought knowing that I wouldn't be able to keep up with him as well as I did this time because I would be exhausted. What confused me was that he could've easily lost me if he was actually trying, my heart stopped and the world seemed to slow down. He had wanted me to follow him, he wanted me to be here with him and no one else. I closed my eyes as I remembered the pain in his voice and the softness of his eyes when he looked at me for that short moment. Could it be that I had been blind this whole time?

"Kyoya I trust you," I said in a small voice even though I knew that he couldn't hear me, I saw his eyes soften. I wished that Kyoya was the kind to run into your arms so I could hold him high and the world would stare in aww of us if only for a few moments. Let them tell all the fat jokes they wanted as long as I got to hold him for a few moments, I smiled at the thought. I stopped as I blinked and he appeared in front of me. I held my breath as I looked down at him, my heart once again skipping beats in a way that it had to be unhealthy for anyone to feel this way. I felt a little light headed as I saw a small flush cover his cheeks as I slowly grabbed his waist and pulled him closer to me. His eyes slowly fluttered closed as I slowly leaned down, I could feel his heart pound against my chest as I paused centimeters away from his lips. His hands slowly ran up my arms and ended at my shoulders making me tense as I hesitated to take what I had earned.

"Benkei?," he whispered before slowly opening his eyes making my face heat up as I saw that special glisten that he usually only had when he laughed. He slowly pulled back and shook his head, a blush covering his cheeks as he did so. "I get it... Let's just go home," he said in a small voice as he slowly turned away, his hands slowly moving away from my shoulders and I watched in horror as he did so. That was my chance... that was my chance and I blew it because of insecurity.

"Kyoya!," I yelled before pulling him to my chest and smashing his lips against mine so sloppily that I thought I had missed. My eyes were tightly closed and I felt him pound his fists against my chest as he struggled to get away, and here I thought that this was what he had wanted. My hands slowly went from his shoulders, sliding down his smooth arms, and I squeezed his hips slightly making him grip my shoulders tightly in response. He slowly relaxed before slowly opening his eyes as we pulled away, both panting, and both of us not sure how to react to my actions. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have-".

"Benkei has anyone told you that you talk too much," he said in annoyance before pulling away, crossing his arms like he always did when he was trying to make a point. For a moment I was taken aback because of how calm he was because I was about to run away screaming or even better, go jump off a cliff. "No, but I'm sure plenty have thought it so don't worry," I answered confidently, I guess this would be what people would refer to as 'after math'. I knew that one more wrong move right now that means that it doesn't matter how many times I relive that kiss I would never get any further with him. He held himself prouder than I have ever seen him before and his hips swayed as he spoke to me but I didn't hear anything, No, all I saw was those full lips and hips.

Great, is all I managed to think.