Author: freedomgirl007

Title: Ready or Not

Genre: action

Mature: not really, no

Cover and Title: 5/5
I found both unique and eye catching, as well as perfectly applicable to the story.

Blurb: 3/5
Some of the lines ready awkwardly. I found the use of second person in the second paragraph a bit trite, and I'd eliminate the (part of their cover) near the end—trust your reader to be smart enough to figure out what you meant.

First Impressions: 3/5
I'm not a huge fan of a drawn out author's note before the story begins. Just get to it! Also, while this isn't a huge deal, Barbra Palvin is actually a bit of a meme for being the most overused MC on wattpad. Make of that information what you will.

Aside from that, I thought the onomatopoeia ding as the first line felt slightly cliche.

Characters: 4/5
I like Hailey and I love her parents. Careful with some of the side characters, especially the girls, but for the most part you did a good job of making sure each one can stand on their own.

Grammar: 2/5
There was some definite struggle here, especially concerning dialogue. Sometimes the tags were correctly punctuated. Sometimes they weren't. Make sure you brush up on the rules regarding when to use a period and when to use a comma. Also, I noticed that you have a strong liking for adverbs with dialogue. Adverbs aren't inherently bad, but try to vary it. And make sure your descriptions of voice quality are varied further—in just the first chapter I noticed that within five paragraphs a character's voice was described a polite twice.

Plot: 4/5
It isn't really my genre, but it definitely got the job done. For all those who grew up loving Spy Kids, check this one out.

Overall: 3.5/5 or 21/30