Author: irenesuchaqueen

Title: Indigo City

Genre: A blend of fantasy, paranormal and teen fic

Mature: Some mild swearing, so not really

Cover and Title: 3/5
If it was just for title, I'd give you a 4.5/5. The title is catchy and bright. It draws attention and sets a very high promise for your novel.

The problem lies in the cover. I like the purple color, but it's generic and unclear. I'd recommend hiring a cover artist to really gain readers' attention.

Blurb: 1/5
The grammar was very poor, and most blurbs that start with "MC was a normal girl" or something similar don't go over well because it's such a cliché intro. But, the general ideas you wanted to portray were there.

First Impressions: 2/5
It's hard to get into a story when the grammar is so weak. I also dislike the use of pictures within the main text as it distracts from the story. To show how characters appear, if you're not confident in your ability to describe them, add a cast list at the beginning of the novel.

Characters: 3/5
I liked Indigo's attitude. She's got spunk and sass. However, none of the other characters actually a personality. They seemed like afterthoughts.

Even the witch character was underdeveloped. She seemed only to exist to oppose Indigo. What's  her motive and story line? A villain is just as important, if not more important than your MC.

Grammar: 1/5
It was really poor. I'm not sure how to put it nicer. The sentence structure was jumbled and unclean. The use of all-caps and bolding was extremely distracting and I suggest eliminating it all together.

Indigo's narration was accurately as a high schooler, but I think she could use more depth of speech. Let her actually take time to describe things.

Also, you wrote shit as shvt multiple times. I thought it was to avoid swearing, in which case just don't write the word, but then you wrote fuck as fuck. I assume shvt was a typo. Make sure you get that.

Plot: 3/5
A good idea. I could tell the influence came from Coraline without even seeing that footnote in the blurb. Which means, I'd recommend making a few more differences.

Overall: 2.1/5 or 13/30
With some major polishing, especially mechanics-wise, you've got lots of potential.