Author: Havingfun_ISKEY

Title: All I See

Genre: Phycological Thriller

Mature: Mature themes

Cover and Title: 2/5
I never really got the significance of the title, and I didn't find it particularly eye catching.

The cover was very muddled. There was too much stuff clogging up the image.

Blurb: 2.5/5
For the first bit, it was interesting, but it was so long. It felt like you were explaining things in the blurb so you wouldn't have to in the story. Sort of like a cheat. I couldn't focus on it all and ended up skimming over a lot of it because I got pretty bored by the end. You don't want to slam so much information into the blurb because no one cares yet. The blurb is what is supposed to make them interested, not make them care about the character. Don't expect readers to sit through paragraphs upon paragraphs of information that is meant to be incorporated into the story. It seemed like you wanted to say all this information, but didn't know how to incorporate it in the story without an info-dump, so you threw it in the blurb. If I hadn't read the blurb I'd have had absolutely no idea what was going on for a lot of the story, which is a bad sign. A lot of people don't even read the blurb.

First Impressions: 2.5/5
I really can't stand when books have all that stuff before the story even starts. It makes me far less likely to get into it, and if you ask me, nothing can be that important that isn't in the story itself. All important information should be explained within the story.

And understand why you chose to break up the chapters the way you did, but it made the flow very choppy. The chapter broke into like six parts could have been its own act of six chapters.

I didn't know the fandom this was based on, so that could explain a bit of my confusion.

Characters: 4/5
The characters for the most part felt real. They didn't make the right choices, which people don't generally make. My only problem there was that there were so many characters introduced early on it was hard to keep track.

Grammar: 4/5
Pretty clean. But there were errors that had been pointed out in line by other users.

Plot: 3/5
I was interested in the idea, but it was so convoluted I was very lost. The premise was very good, and there was a lot of potential, but I believe it could have been far better explained. I really don't know much of what happened at all... there was a vision, and Jessica was there? I got pretty lost.

I noticed other people were having the same confusions in line too. You were replying with long paragraphs, and that cleared it up. However, if you have to be rephrasing things in the comment section, you should take it as a sign that things weren't well explained within the original story.

Overall: 3/5 or 18/30