🌹R O S E III🌹

🌹CHAPTER ONE🌹

The hospital beeps annoy me more than anything as I look at the clock on the wall in boredom. The needles in my arms aching as always. The white room as boring as it was on the first day I woke up here. I wish I could shut the beeping sounds for even just a minute.

I hear it all the time and I hear it in my sleep and when I'm in the bathroom and it's all I hear. I sigh as the door opens and I see the familiar face of Lena holding the tray of food. She smiles my way as she puts the tray on the nightstand beside the bed.

"You were gone for too long" I tell her and she rolls her eyes. "It were only a couple of minutes. Besides there was a line in the cafeteria" She tells me and this time I roll my eyes. Lena has been the best friend in the whole world, she's been with me in the hospital and helping me get better.

I don't know what I'd do without her. "Now eat up, they're allowing you to see him" Lena says. I feel this excitement run through my whole body. I take the food and start eating even though I don't really like it. This hospital food has been the only food I've eaten since I woke up and it always takes horrible.

I'm not sure how anyone can eat this stuff without wanting to throw up because I know that I can't. I need to force it inside my mouth and force my body to swallow it. Once I finish I give her a smile. "You really want to see him that much?" She asks me and I nod my head.

I see her smile at me but there is something behind her smile that I don't understand, then again it could be the fact that Lena is as tired of this hospital as I do. She's been begging the doctor to be able to take me home so that we'd catch a break from this building but we can't.

I can't leave the hospital yet. "All right, I'll get the nurse" She says and once again she leaves the room and I'n left alone in here, listening to these annoying beeps and looking at that god dammed clock that continues to tick away and I can tell that it mocks me with its fingers.

Though it is not long until Lena is here with the nurse. A sweet man he is. Nurse Jenkins. He's actually much nicer than most of the nurses, I think that is because he's actually much younger than most of them and hasn't been working at the hospital for that long.

"Let's get you to that wheelchair, shall we?" He asks and I nod my head. He removed most of the needles in my arms, all but one. I think it's an IV or something but I don't know a thing about these things. He helps me sit down in the wheelchairs and bite my inner cheek to not show them that it kind of hurts.

When I'm in the wheelchair and everything is all right he attempts to push me out but Lena stops him. "Please can I?" She asks him and he nods his head. "There is a button over there which call for help if you need anything" He tells me and I nod my head, thanking him in return as he leaves.

Lena takes the handles and starts pushing the wheelchair to the door. It is sad but it's everything to me to get out of that hospital room since I'm there twenty four seven and it's been so long. "You know, I heard he's been going insane without you" Lena tells me as she pushes me down the hallways.

Doctors, patients, nurses and visitors deck the hallways and though it is better than the room, it is still sad to be here. "Really?" I ask her. I blush at her voice that he would like that, all because he can't see me. Then again I do understand because that hospital is making me almost go insane.

And being without him is even worse than ever now. "Yes, some say that he should be put into the psych ward" She tells me and I almost burst out laughing but I know that I can't do that. "That would such a shame" I tell her. I know she's kidding but her humor never goes away.

That is one of the things that I need in these times where the four wall room in the hospital is like a prison where only death is waiting. "Here we are" She says after a moment or two and I realize that we are in front of a room. His room.

"I don't know how to face him after this" I tell her, I find myself suddenly afraid and I don't know why. I've known him for so long yet I am afraid of seeing him. I've fallen in love with him yet I feel like I'm afraid to see him and the worst part is, I don't know why I feel afraid.

I'm not afraid of him but I am afraid of something, I just don't know what that is. "I you can do it and you will. I'm going to wait out here" She says and sits on a chair nearby. I take a deep breath and exhale before I open the door and wheel myself inside.

I enter the room and the blinds are over the window and it's rather dark in here yet the lights are on but they have been dimmed a lot. I see him sitting on the bed, he hasn't noticed me come into the room. He stares ahead on the wall, much like I have been doing.

"Alexander?" I quietly ask and his head snaps into my direction. I see that he looks almost the same but a bit sickly looking, like me. The hospital can do that to you. "Rose" He whispers. I wheel over to his bed and look up at him. I feel the tears in my eyes but I don't let them fall down.

"I missed you" I speak, the first time seeing him after that day is overwhelming yet it is something we both needed. His hand comes over to me and I take it into mine. His hand is still larger than mine and mine sill fits in his like it belongs there.

So many days have passes since I held his hand. So many days have passed since that day yet that day still feels like it only happened yesterday but it has been so long. However no matter how much I try to forget I can't forget it. It still stains my memory like a wine stain on a white shirt.

He doesn't say anything I wonder if he can even say anything else. Though I know this whole thing has been tough on him as well as it has been for me. I hold his hand tightly as I never want to let go of it again. My feelings for him are strong and they can never be taken from me.

"I love you" I whisper to him, I don't know if he can hear me or if he is even listening at all but those words needed to be spoken, not only because it is the truth but because I needed to get those words out so that they become reality. When you've become so close to death, these words are hard to believe are real.

He doesn't say anything, only holds my hand tight. I use my other hand to support myself as I stand up from the wheelchair. I hold back a scream as pain goes through my whole body in waves but I sit on the bed to make them go away, or almost go away.

"I don't know if you're listing but I do love you. We made it, together and we will continue to make it until the two of us are free and back in our world. You know, I kind of miss it. The meetings, the people, I even miss the paperwork" I tell him but he doesn't say anything.

Alexander only looks at me as if he's trying to see that I'm real, but I am real and he can see that. He is holding my hand in his. "But most of all, I miss you" I tell him and send a gentle smile his way. I know I have said it before but I'm not sure if the words are making it into his mind and I don't know if he's processing them.

I can't tell anything at this point. This man who sits on this hospital bed is Alexander Knight, yet it doesn't feel like he's in his mind. I've always seen him so strong and always in power, not broken and alone. But, I am going to get him through this, we will get through this.

When he doesn't say or do anything, just stare at me, my head drops to the ground. I don't know what to do. The man I love has only said one word to me, my name and I'm not sure if he's even there at all or if he's somewhere else. But it does break my heart to see him like this. To see him broken.

The tears roll down my face as I go off the bed and into the wheelchair once again, ignoring the physical pain because the emotional pain is much worse. I know that I will need to give him time but I feel like my heart is breaking into so many pieces and I can barely keep it intact.

After all the pain that I've been through, I don't know which one is worse. I let go of his hand and I instantly feel the longing to have his touch on my skin again. He doesn't move, only stares into the space that I was in before and I realize that he doesn't even know I'm here. I'm not even sure he knew in the first place.

But he did say my name. I don't understand this. I wheel myself to the door with a heavy heart as I feel horrible about leaving him but I can tell that he's not ready to be with me. Lena was wrong. He's not going insane from being without me, he's not going insane at all.

He's lost but that has nothing to do with me. I don't know why he's like this but I know that I will try to help him in any way that I can. As I wheel to the door I stop near it where I turn around to look at him once again. The tears rolling down my face.

Staining the ugly hospital gown that I'm forced to wear but I don't care about that. I give one last look and perhaps it's a good thing that he can't see the desperation in my eyes, the desperation to have him in my arms. To feel his lips on mine and to see him whole and... cruel.

I don't know why but the person I met, the cruel Alexander Knight is a person that I wish to see again. Perhaps because I just want him back, back to love me. With my tear stained face I hesitate put my hands on the door handle. I can feel my hands shaking on the way there but I grip it tightly.

Feeling the cool metal against my skin which sends shivers down my spine but I ignore them and pull the handle down and open the door. I wheel myself out of the room and close the door behind me, feeling worse than I was when I first entered the room. I make a promise to myself that I will help him and heal him.