( 03. ━ WE ARE MADE OF STARS AND STORIES. )
rose.
a short story.
the difficulty of distance.
part three ━ we are made of stars and stories.
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❛ it gets harder and harder to breathe.
harder to wake up in the morning.
harder to pen the letters.
harder to pray to gods she does not believe in.
still, she smiles. ❜
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ANYWHERE.
EVERYWHERE.
THEIR LOVE AFFAIR BLOOMS IN THE FORM OF LETTERS.
Rose returns to her family's keep and stays there. She remains with her pious mother. She spends her days embroidering lions into cloth with other women, and listens to them crow on about how, with her beauty, she will someday catch a husband far above her station in life and bear him many children. She sits silently through these sessions and does not say a word. They think she is busy getting the golden lions just right.
She does not say that the septa told her she may never bear any children at all.
Rose doesn't pray anymore.
Cersei returns to King's Landing, the capital city, and to her father's scheming. She is growing into a beautiful girl, and courtiers begin to call her the Light of the West, but her father turns away every offer for her hand in marriage. Lord Tywin has his sights set on a royal match for his only daughter, and he will have nothing less.
Cersei dreams of Rose and Jaime, both so far away. So out of reach.
Jaime goes to Crakehall, where he squires for Lord Sumner. He wins his first tourney melee shortly after arriving there, at only thirteen, and it is the beginning of his reputation. It is the beginning of something even bigger than he dreams it will be ━ but he hates that they are all so far apart. He writes to Rose, informing her of his first true victory, and he waits awhile for a response.
Neither Rose nor his sister are ever far from his mind. Cersei's eyes and Rose's smile, and their shared Lannister-gold hair. He loves them both; he knows it in his heart and soul, a boy on the edge of fourteen, that he loves these two girls with every tiny atom of his being.
Rose's reply does not arrive for a month, but it does arrive, and Jaime thinks that that is what counts. He does not note her hesitation. It is the beginning of their love story, really; these notes, carried by ravens across the Seven Kingdoms, tell the tale of Lannister lovers. It is somewhat innocent ━ at least, for Rose, whom is gentler than either of the twins and has all the goodness of her mother.
Rose writes to Jaime, and Jaime will add his comments and send it on to Cersei, who will send it back to Rose. It continues this way for three years ━ in this time, Rose does not lay eyes on either of them, and the twins seldom see each other. Little notes of love and hope sit on bedside tables or clutched close to their hearts.
It continues this way as Cersei lives at court with the royal family, and the Lannister lioness writes that her father plans to betroth her to Prince Viserys, who is a small child ten years younger than herself. She writes that she hopes Princess Elia will die in childbirth first, so she can have the heir rather than his little brother.
Rose chides her for this. She should not wish death upon anyone. Perhaps Cersei would not be so blasé about wishing for someone's death if she had been scared of it before. Rose thinks Cersei has never been scared of anything at all.
It is the first time Cersei truly thinks about her thoughts, her actions, how they may affect others; her regret will not last, but Rose's influence is strong. Her sweetness never fades, even three years since seeing her face, pale and angelic, youthful and sad. The twins feels her soul like a guiding light between them.
The letters continue, mostly between Cersei and Rose, while Jaime participates in the campaign against the Kingswood Brotherhood. When Jaime writes, it is to reassure them both that he is safe and alive. It is sometimes to brag about his victories, too, and they endow him with all the praise they can muster; they tell him he is a gallant young man in service to the crown, and that they are proud of him.
They are certainly proud of him when he is knighted, once the brotherhood has been defeated. His lifelong dream.
Cersei and Jaime pretend not to notice when Rose's letters grow shorter. They don't know that as she grows older and her father speaks more of marriage that she struggles to breathe sometimes, as if her corsets have been laced too tightly. As if her ribs, which are supposed to protect her, are crushing her lungs instead. They don't know that her hands shake when she tries to pen these letters, so she often does not respond.
They do not know that when she lays in bed at night, unable to sleep for the toxic thoughts swirling around in her head, that she curses the Gods that she ceases to believe in.
She curses them for letting this happen to her.
She curses them for letting her fall in love with both of the twins, and they with her, and the twins with each other, because it must be sinful in the worst way, and they will all burn in the Seven Hells for this.
Except the Gods must not exist, for she has always been a good person and they let terrible things happen to her━ and if the Gods do not exist, then neither does sin. Neither do the Hells.
So she writes the next letter.
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KING'S LANDING. 281 AC.
EVERY PART OF ROSE WANTED TO SAY NO TO HER FATHER, when he received a letter from his brother Tywin, inviting them to the capital in order to celebrate his son Jaime's knighthood. The letter held the tone of a father filled with pride. Rose suspects Tywin rarely shows pride in his children, but the letter had the stirrings of Cersei behind it. That scares Rose.
If Ser Kevan has noticed a difference in his daughter since they returned from Casterly Rock three years prior, he hasn't said a thing. He has always had the habit of pretending that things are better than they truly are. Perhaps that is the curse of a second son, or the favoured brother ━ but now that Lady Dorna is pregnant once more, he pays little attention to what Rose does.
He does not love her any less, for she is his only daughter and the apple of his eye... but the appeal of a son and heir is terribly strong, and Rose understands this better than most. She argues that she must remain home and care for her mother, whom is around six moons along and unable to join them in fear it will cause problems for the pregnancy, but her father insists.
He says her cousin Cersei has requested her presence, specifically.
He says her cousin Cersei intends to make Rose one of her ladies, that it is an honour, and Rose certainly cannot refuse. It will improve her prospects immensely, and besides, didn't she and Cersei get along at Casterly Rock all those years ago?
Rose wants to stay home and care for her kind, pious mother and her unborn sibling ( whom she will love very much, no matter what the baby's gender is, because she is so looking forward to being a big sister, so looking forward to not being a burden anymore ) but her father will not hear of it.
So when they arrive in the Red Keep, she and her father step down from their carriage, and it is like that day all over again. It seems like such a long time ago, longer than three years, but the sun beats down on them once more. Cersei and Jaime stand side-by-side for the first time in years, excited smiles upon their pretty faces as their father, Lord Tywin, stands stoically beside them.
Ser Kevan appears first, and he offers a hand to his daughter as she steps down, too. She is just as radiant and graceful as they remember her, untouched by the sweltering heat. It's hotter here than it is in the Westerlands, but they have the same sea breeze. This time, Cersei does not feel jealous as Rose and her father step forward. Her heart is full, almost bursting with excitement. Kevan shakes hands with his brother while Rose curtsies for her noble uncle, and then turns to greet the twins.
"It is so lovely to see you again, cousin," Cersei says with a grin as Jaime kisses Rose's hand, the same way he did the first time they met. Was it three years ago? They're all so much older now.
The years have been kind to all three of them, and they have all grown up so much. Jaime is a man now, at sixteen; his features are chiseled and his physique has filled out, tall and strong from the campaign. He has been made a knight for his prowess and skill in combat, and there is not a hint of childhood left in his features.
Cersei is much the same, and Rose understands why they call her the LIGHT OF THE WEST, because she has never laid eyes on a more perfect human being. Her older cousin is the golden goddess that artists crave to paint; she is the sort of beauty that people love to look at, as if Cersei is a drug and they can never get enough. She cannot be savoured. She is everything, all at once.
Rose is a woman now, too, or so the world keeps telling her. Most days, she still feels like the child she left behind at Casterly Rock, but the years have done her well. She is of a slender physique, shorter than the twins, but her features are graceful and soft. Where the twins share deep golden locks, Rose's hair has lightened a few shades, and falls like a halo around her face. Any lighter and she might be mistaken for a Targaryen, except her eyes are the same Lannister-emerald as the rest.
There is nothing of their youth left except memories.
When Rose smiles at Cersei's words, Jaime notes that it is hollow and somehow false. The sweet young girl they knew years ago has gone away, buried beneath this stranger, and it almost hurts to look at her.
"Likewise," Rose says, in that bell-like tone of voice they hear in their dreams.
They think everything will be okay, now that they're all together again. Cersei swears they'll never be parted from each other. NEVER AGAIN. She thinks the words with such clarity that she thinks other people might hear them. She grips Rose's hands so tightly, and as they are led into the keep, she prays this is true. She prays that they will all stay together.
She does not know that Rose is godless.
She does not know what her love will become.
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