𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

" another deal "

✤ ✾ ✤

. . . FEBRUARY, 1976

ICE SKATES scraped against the ice of the Black Lake. The rhythmic sound echoed with laughter all the way up and across the Hogwarts grounds. On a day without Hogsmeade or Quidditch, it was the preferred activity for anyone who wanted to be outside.

Elara, Mimi, Avanti, had all decided to trek down to the Black Lake to skate. When they had asked Maeve if she wanted to join, she had seen it in Avanti's eyes that they assumed she would say no. It was deserved. It still hurt. And though there was a mountain of homework and a book on statistics waiting for her, she had dug her skates out from the bottom of her trunk.

The ice was swarmed with people. As soon as they crested the steep hill, Maeve started picking out the faces that she knew. Aoife with her boyfriend, Sean, arm and arm and gliding along together. Ana skating with marked effort a meter behind them. Lily and her blazing red hair with Mary McDonald. It was a relief to see that Sorcha wasn't out today, and neither were any of the boys. Maeve had been avoiding them like the plague ever since the previous weekend.

The Black Lake would stay frozen well into the end of the month, and most years it was even permissible to skate on it in early March. But nothing was stopping Mimi from staring at the ice like it was seconds away from shattering.

Maeve tightened the laces on her skates. "It's okay, Mimi. It looks like everyone's been out here for hours with no trouble."

"And look on the bright side," Avanti told her, skating in a small circle while she waited for the rest of them. Her skates were pale pink–a compliment to the similarly-colored fuzzy earmuffs she wore. "How deep can the water really be?"

"Deep enough for a giant squid!" Mimi exclaimed. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm sure he's fast asleep," Elara assured her.

"You'd wake up for a nice snack, wouldn't you?"

"The squid does not eat people, Mimi. Someone made that story up a long time ago," Maeve told her, grabbing her by both arms and pulling her onto the ice.

Mimi clung onto Maeve like a toddler afraid of touching the ground. "Shit, why is this scarier than I remember it being?"

"Because you're thinking too much," Maeve told her evenly. "If we go under, the squid will get me first."

Mimi relinquished her grip on Maeve's coat sleeve but kept their arms entwined for safety. "Do you promise?"

"Yes, Mimi, I promise I will let the squid eat me to save you," Maeve deadpanned. Mimi hesitated, then shuffled her feet cautiously, inching forward.

"How chivalrous," Elara said, spinning around to skate backwards. She was easily the best out of all of them at skating. It was effortless.

The four of them skated in a cluster for a while, but eventually Avanti dared Elara to race her and the two of them were off and weaving through the crowd. Maeve spotted Aoife and Sean again. Aoife threw her head back with laughter at something Sean had said, the silver ribbon in her auburn hair dancing in the breeze. 

"What's the matter with you?" Mimi asked. Mimi's sympathy always came out as an accusation and unintentionally turned empathy into a hasty, volatile thing.

Maeve only sighed. "Aoife is starting her training with the Ministry at the end of June. She isn't even going back home with us, she's already decided she's just going to stay with my Aunt in London and that's the end of it. She's gone for good."

Mimi tracked Maeve's gaze with calculating eyes. "She won't be gone for good."

"Yeah? How often do you see Archie?" Mimi's older brother, Archie, also worked for the Ministry. He was seven years older than Mimi and long gone from Hogwarts.

"He came home every few months in the beginning. It wasn't until he got married that we stopped seeing him so much, but you don't have to worry about that." Mimi looked at Maeve, and then back at where Aoife skated ahead of them. "Do you?"

Maeve swallowed. It was like a hot coal had been shoved down her throat. "Aoife's always enjoyed the idea of getting married. Having a house of her own, a family. Our parents got married young, too."

Mimi leaned into Maeve. Whether it was for comfort or to keep from falling, Maeve couldn't tell. "It could be worse. You like Sean."

"I do," Maeve admitted. 

Sean was always up for anything. When he visited, he would help with farm chores and throw baseballs at Maeve for her to practice for Quidditch. Even after the time she had hit one smack into his stomach. When Maeve saw him around the castle, he always stopped to talk to her. He even got along passably well with Sorcha, sworn hater of Slytherin house. Maeve had long thought it must be true that no one could dislike Sean St. Clair for very long.

But she had never asked for a brother. Three was a very well-balanced number already. She had clung to Aoife for reassurance and support for far too long to let it all collapse into nothing.

Maeve nudged Mimi again. "Let's try going a bit faster. I'll stay with you."

Mimi bit her lip but nodded. "Okay, but if I fall, you're going down with me."

"I think we've established that all our actions are tied today," Maeve laughed.

Together, they began to pick up speed. Maeve guided Mimi in a smooth arc around the edge of the lake. Elara and Avanti followed behind, the four of them forming a loose chain as they glided along. The wind picked up slightly, whipping Maeve's hair into her face, but she didn't care. It was all a perfect distraction.

By the time they completed their loop, Mimi was laughing and she finally let go of Maeve's arm. "I forgot how fun this is!!" she exclaimed, a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Told you!" Avanti said, her breath curling in the cold air. She grabbed Mimi by the arm and dragged her off away from the edge of the lake. Elara continued to skate laps around the periphery of the frozen water, off in her own little world.

Maeve was about to follow when a flash of red hair appeared in the corner of her eye. Turning slightly, she saw Lily Evans skating towards her, her pale cheeks flushed pink from the cold.

Lily skated up beside Maeve with a grin. "You alright? You look like someone's just died."

"Oh please," Maeve said, pushing off again. Every time she saw Aoife and Sean skating past, a bolt of helpless anger flashed behind her eyes. She wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck. "Where's Mary?"

"Talking to Marlene," Lily said, pointing. "They won't stop talking about exams. Normally, I'm all for it, but sometimes I get concerned that Mary just likes to worry for the sake of it."

"Sounds like Mimi," Maeve said, nodding towards where Avanti was now trying to teach Mimi to skate backward. It was going as well as anticipated. Mimi fell onto her butt, laughing.

"I think Mimi and Mary would get along well," Lily remarked. "Everytime I get assigned to Prefect rounds with Mimi, she'll say something that reminds me of Mary. They're both very...analytical."

Maeve smiled knowingly. "Mimi has a plan for everything."

And then she turned back to look at the sloped hill by the greenhouses. A set of four familiar figures were making their way down towards the lake. From this distance, they looked like neat little dolls tracking even lines in the snow. As they got closer, Maeve caught eyes with Sirius, who had his skates slung casually over one shoulder. Maeve swung back around so quickly, she almost smacked right into Lily.

Maeve tried to quell the simmering frustration that had been building all week. She had given away half of her sanity for their sake. All of the time she had spent working on the Animagi project was time that had to be made up studying later. Sleep was a luxury she could rarely afford. And yet, they treated it all as if it were a silly game. It was all too easy for them to toss her under the bus just to get Remus off their backs.

"Oh, look, trouble's coming our way," Lily sighed. "I knew it was too much to hope that they would stay inside today."

They watched as the four boys reached the edge of the lake. James, who had already clocked Lily, laced up his skates with inhuman speed. He was a natural, of course, weaving through the other skaters as if he'd been doing this his whole life. It didn't take long for him to reach them, coming to a stop with a flourish that sent a spray of ice into the air.

"Afternoon, ladies," James said. "Mind if I join you?"

Lily linked her arm with Maeve's and turned off in the other direction. "Bugger off, Potter!"

And to both of their surprise, he listened. James nodded once. "Alright, then. I'll see you later!" And then skated away to join Remus on the other end of the ice.

"Is he ill?" Lily asked with her jaw hanging open. "He never listens."

If Lily had been alone, there was no doubt in Maeve's mind that James would have continued on with his relentless pestering. But even if she was still flaming mad at the lot of them, she could still appreciate the shock on Lily's face. "Maybe he's turned over a new leaf."

"It wouldn't be the first bizarre thing I've heard this week. I heard he's helping tutor you?"

Maeve's cheeks grew hot against the wool of her headband. "Who told you that?"

"Remus," Lily told her, as if it were obvious. "Don't worry, I don't think anyone else knows. He was just going on and on about how Sirius, James, and Peter have been up to something all term and it's driving him mad that he can't figure out what it is."

Maeve blew a stray hair out of her face as they skated on. "I can't say I have any idea what that's about," she lied.

Lily shrugged, adjusting her hat with a mittened hand. "Honestly, they might just be messing with him, pretending they're doing things in secret just because he's Prefect. But this tutoring idea. Is it true?"

Maeve imagined a perfectly circular hole in the ice appearing beneath her feet. It would pull her down into the icy cold of the lake where she would spend the rest of the afternoon in the murk with the giant squid. "Unfortunately. It started off with me asking Sirius for help with one small thing, and suddenly it's become an ordeal."

Lily laughed and nearly toppled over. Maeve grabbed her by the arm to steady her. "Thanks," Lily told her. "That's just how it is with those boys, isn't it? Never just one thing."

"Hopefully it'll all be over soon," Maeve said, praying that the words would ring true.

Suddenly, a voice that unmistakably belonged to Andromeda Black bellowed, "Oi, Maeve! Coming through!"

Maeve looked up just in time to be hit by a high-speed Ana. The wind was instantly knocked out of her. Both of them fell into a heap on the cold ice.

"Ow," Maeve said with a low moan. She let her head fall back, and the chill of the snow bit at her exposed neck. The sky above was a swirling mixture of grey and pale blue.

"Sorry," Ana groaned, slowly pushing herself back up to her feet. She stood halfway up, briefly wobbled, and then fell right back down. She smacked her fist on the ice and yelled, "Aoife!"

Aoife stopped gracefully in front of Ana with Sean not far behind. Sean was in stitches of laughter. "I told you not to go so fast!" he wheezed. "You're excellent at speeding up, I think you ought to work on slowing down."

Ana just held up both hands and waited for Sean and Aoife to haul her back up to her feet.

"Maeve, quit being so dramatic," Aoife chided, glancing at her younger sister.

Maeve got to her feet and brushed the snow off her sleeves. "I could be dyin', Aoife."

"Let's hope not," Lily told her.

The wind picked up briefly and snow began to fall. It came down in soft flakes all around them and the air filled with delighted shrieks. Maeve stared out at the rolling mountains that rose in the distance. The world narrowed momentarily. All that remained were precious seconds of time, skating along in slow lines.

✤

SIRIUS watched the group of girls skating from across the ice. His eyes lingered on Maeve. She was laughing with Lily, but he could tell from the way her shoulders stayed stiff and the slight pull at the corners of her mouth that she wasn't really in the mood for any of it.

He had seen her upset before, but this was different. In the forest and then in the hallway with Remus, he had witnessed a completely different side of her. This version of Maeve was so different from the even-keeled, wit-sharp-enough-to-wound version. Instead, he had seen her downright terrified, afraid, and then ashamed. And it was half his fault.

So as Maeve headed for the edge of the ice, he saw it as his golden opportunity.

"I've got to go," he told Remus, already reaching down to unlace his skates.

"Already?" Remus laughed, spinning around. His scarf whipped him in the face. "We just got out here!"

"I'll be back!" Sirius shouted, nearly tripping as he tossed his skates aside and grabbed up his boots.

Lily was waving Maeve off and heading back to join Marlene and Mary. Maeve herself straightened, pulling off her scarf and running a hand through her hair as she began to trudge up the slope.

Sirius picked up his pace, crunching through the snow. "Maeve!"

She didn't even look at him. She kept her gaze straight ahead, face tight with frustration, scarf drawn up high around her neck to block out the cold—and him. "Piss off, Sirius."

"Come on, can you at least hear me out?" he asked, trying to sound light but hating how tense his voice came out instead. His mouth felt funny without the reassurance of the mandrake leaf.

Maeve finally glanced up, her hazel eyes sharp with frustration. "What's there to hear out?"

He winced. "If I tell you I'm sorry again, will you believe me? It just slipped out to Remus—he was getting suspicious, and I thought it'd be better if he believed something plausible."

"You thought that was plausible?" she asked, her accented voice clipped. "I don't need tutoring. Remus isn't an idiot."

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. "He's been on my case all term. You know how he gets when he thinks we're up to something—he's relentless. I figured saying I was helping you would throw him off."

Maeve adjusted her skates where they were slung over her shoulder. Small flakes of snow were falling and becoming tangled in her long brown hair. "Well, it didn't."

"I know that now," Sirius said, moving in front of her before she could storm off. "You think I want to make this harder for you?"

"Yeah. Can you imagine why?"

Sirius knew how much pride Maeve took in being seen as capable, independent. Having the rug swept from under him was a feeling she knew all too well. It was the same feeling of helplessness that had flooded him when he saw her standing in the parlor of his home at Christmas. The knowledge that his greatest weakness was being paraded on display.

So it was a gamble of stupidity to let the next words fall out of his mouth. "What if the tutoring isn't entirely fake?"

But she just blinked at him. "Did you hit your head on the ice, or something?"

"I–we could help you. It would make it worth your time, just long enough to put up a front for Remus."

Maeve crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. "So this is all just so I keep helping you?" Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but she kept going, words tumbling out in rapid frustration. "You were supposed to help me take Sorcha down a peg, that's it. That's why I agreed to any of this. I've been risking my neck with this Animagus stuff for you. And now I'm the one left dealin' with the mess 'cause you can't get your act together. First the tutoring, then the mandrake leaves, then the chrysalis. I thought this mattered to you."

"It does!"

"Then why don't you start acting like it?"

He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it in frustration. She was right—again. Sirius had just expected the whole thing would go smoothly. Perhaps it still could, or maybe they were always destined to fail in some way. "It does matter to me. And I know the deal," Sirius muttered. "I'm not backing out of it. You've held up your end. I will too."

Maeve narrowed her eyes. "When, exactly? Because it feels like you've done nothing but make things worse."

"I thought the roses were rather creative. Little cherubs that sing? C'mon, you'd have to be heartless to think that isn't hilarious."

She pursed her lips and tried not to smile. "Then I guess I have no heart."

"Now you're just being difficult," he prodded, enjoying immensely the way her lips twitched up into a grin.

"If I were to agree to this tutoring business," she said, and as she clocked his expression, she emphasized, "If. What exactly do you have in mind? And I also don't like it being called tutoring. You would just be helping me practice."

"That's the same thing."

"Do you really want to be arguin' right now?"

"Fine, fine," he huffed. "We would be helping you study for Defense Against the Dark Arts, just like we told Remus. It would just be practicing defensive spells, the ones we've been learning in class. And the Patronus charm."

"The Patronus charm is advanced, anyway. Hardly anyone got it and it isn't on the O.W.L exam," she dismissed, but he recognized the hunger in her eyes. All of the Ravenclaws had it; that bloodthirsty quest for knowledge.

"But you want to be able to do it, don't you?" Sirius continued. By then, they were back up the bridge that led into the castle. When Sirius glanced over his shoulder, Remus was little more than a dot on the edge of the ice.

"'Course I do," she admitted.

"Then the answer to our new problem is simple."

"Your new problem," she told him as they walked across the bridge. She stopped in front of one of the openings and leaned against the railing. "Why don't you ever send James to iron things out? Or Peter?"

Sirius had already asked himself the question. It was getting easier to always be the one that sought her out. He was the middle ground. The one sent to find her in the halls and automatically know she would greet him with some dismissive sigh or scathing remark. It was like a game. A challenge rewarded with times like this when it was just the two of them.

So he lied. "You would never listen to James. And Peter, Merlin save him, is a push over. I'm an excellent negotiator."

Maeve grunted. "Fair enough."

"So what is your answer, or am I going to have to get on my knees and beg?"

She turned to face him. "The second option."

And to her great surprise, he knelt down in front of her and grabbed her freezing cold hand. "Maeve Byrne, will you please agree to let us tutor–sorry, help you practice Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

And she made the same face she normally did–lips pursed, eyes glittering with silent laughter. "Get up before someone walks out here."

He just shook his head. "I cannot, I fear. Not until I have an answer."

"Fine."

"What was that?"

"Yes, Sirius Black, I agree with your bleedin' terms."

Satisfied, he got to his feet again and leaned on the railing next to her. He found that some silly, ridiculous part of him wanted to stay up here with her instead of walking back down to the ice.

✤

"SO I heard you're being tutored by the Gryffindors?" Mimi said as she sat down at breakfast the next morning. "Are you ill?"

Maeve put down the slice of buttered toast she had been about to demolish. "No, not ill. Who told you that?"

"Avanti," Mimi shrugged.

Avanti pointed her porridge spoon in the air as she spoke. "And I heard it from Eloise, who overheard Marlene. And Marlene obviously got it from–"

"Sorcha," Maeve and Elara said at the same time. "Why on earth does everyone care so much?" Maeve grumbled. "It isn't as if this is the first time a student in Hogwarts has been tutored."

"It's the first time a Ravenclaw has been tutored by a Gryffindor," Mimi told her rather Prefect-like.

"Sorry I'm tarnishing the good name of Ravenclaw. Someone ring up the Grey Lady and tell her to come haunt me," Maeve groused.

Mimi shook her head. "You're fighting stereotypes, that's a good thing!"

Maeve just stared at her. "These are not the stereotypes I want to fight."

"There is nothing wrong with asking for help," Elara told her. She stared off at the Gryffindor table where a plume of red-ish smoke was being emitted from the porridge bowl. Remus's thin laughter echoed off the walls. "But I am questioning a bit who you decided to ask."

"Yeah, why not ask us?" Avanti said pointedly.

Now that they were all staring at her, Maeve was regretting all of her resolve. She danced through her decisions, charting them all the way back to Slughorn's party when she had said yes to Sirius in the first place. Lily's voice rang in her mind. It's never just one thing.

The lies came easily to her. They were all really half truths. "Because I was embarrassed that I needed help. I didn't anticipate Sorcha finding out and telling everyone, but I suppose I should have known."

"What are they helping you with, then?" Avanti continued to press.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Mimi laughed. "You hate that class."

"Only because I'm shite at it," Maeve told her.

What she didn't say was the real reason she had been so easily persuaded into accepting help from Sirius at all. Mayfair had planted the worry in her mind that war was coming and she might not be ready. The giant spider had proven that she was not. Bombarda and a Beater's bat wasn't going to get her very far when the Death Eaters came knocking.

"Well, I'm good at it," Avanti said, pressing a hand to her chest. "I could help you. Just call it off with the blokes."

Maeve suspected the offer was some kind of test. Who are you going to choose? Us, or them? "That's alright, Avanti. You have enough to worry about. Those gobshites have loads of time on their hands."

Avanti pursed her lips. "Alright."

And Maeve knew she had failed the test.

Her spirits were in dire straits by the time she got through classes and made it to the room being the tapestry. She had gotten there early, as they decided. They needed time to prepare before Remus walked into the room.

The cauldron of the new batch of alginate was bubbling in the corner. They had pushed all of the furniture to touch the walls, but nothing could be done about moving the burning pewter cauldron.

"That might be an issue," James remarked, staring at it.

Maeve pulled her wand out of her back pocket. She moved it in a smooth, circular motion around the cauldron, followed by a sharp flick toward the center. "Invisiblis." It shimmered once and then faded from sight. The fire reduced to a barely-perceptible crackle.

James just stared at her. "I really don't understand you. You can perform a disillusionment charm on a live fire, but you can't manage Protego?"

Maeve crossed her arms. Invisibility was easy. It was all just a matter of bending light. "The fire isn't directly threatening to kill me, James. It's different from a giant spider."

"I can't believe you came so close to an acromantula," Peter shuddered. "I hate spiders."

Sirius was whistling to himself as he unrolled the long rug at the center of the new open space in the middle of the room. "Alright, I think we're all set."

"And what's this?" Maeve asked, though she didn't really want the answer.

"I thought it would be easier to duel if we had a nice stage," he grinned easily.

Maeve's stomach dropped. "Duel?"

"Duel!" James repeated excitedly.

"You know the theory and the spells themselves," Sirius told her. "Your issue is using them under pressure. Look at it this way," Sirius said, coming up behind James and grabbing him by both arms. "You have a free pass to use combat spells on James."

"Me?" James said with wide eyes.

"Him?" Maeve said with distaste.

James straightened and shook out his arms. He took up his spot on one end of the rug. "Alright, let's get this over with."

Standing there on the threadbare rug with her wand gripped in her fist was mortifying. Maeve felt like one of the ponies at the Wicklow Show, the county fair they went to every summer. Those horses always looked so upset, parading around with ribbons and tricks to impress an audience. Maeve felt the same way now.

"Ladies first," James told her.

Maeve raised her wand and muttered, "Expelliarmus." The spell shot out weakly, barely making a dent in the air.

James easily dodged it, barely moving. He began to laugh. "Is that really all you've got? Confringo."

A wall of flames surged towards her. The white hot heat filled the room. Maeve gasped and ran out of its roaring path.

"Maeve, you can't just run away!" Sirius said, trying very hard not to laugh. "That defeats the entire purpose of this."

"What else am I supposed to do? Get roasted?"

"Use Protego!" Peter shouted helpfully from where he sat on his stool off to the side of the room.

"I think she's scared," James jeered.

Maeve stepped back onto the rug and glared at him. "Scared?"

"Yes," James repeated. "Terribly frightened, even."

Maeve gritted her teeth, tightening her grip on her wand. She raised it again and shouted, "Expelliarmus!" This time, her voice was filled with force, and the spell shot out with much more intensity. It knocked James back a step, but he quickly regained his balance and aimed his wand at Maeve.

"Good try," James patronized. "Reducto!"

Maeve barely had time to react. She threw up her wand and shouted, "Protego!" The shield charm created a thin, shimmering barrier that deflected the spell, but the impact made her stagger. "Are you cracked?"

"All's fair in love and duel," James sang. "Just because you're–"

"Rictusempra!"

James was caught off guard, stumbling and bursting into laughter from the tickling charm. "Hey, hey! That's a cheap move!" he gasped, trying to shield himself. He muttered the counter charm and stood up straight again, straightening out his sweater. "Stupefy."

This time, Maeve's "Protego" created a solid wall in front of her that blocked the blinding flash of light from his wand. It bounced off harmlessly, and she barely even felt the impact.

James barely let her recover before he casted, "Petrificus Totalus!" but missed as Maeve dodged it.

Flustered, Maeve threw a wild, "Reducto!" back.

The spell missed and blew a chunk out of the wall instead. Peter, who was narrowly out of the line of fire, fell off of his stool and onto the floor. In the silence that followed, the door to the room opened with an echoing click.

"What on earth is this?" Remus asked, bewildered.

The four of them turned to stare at him, and Peter scrambled up off the ground. Another chunk of the wall came loose and fell to the ground with a thunk.

"Tutoring," Sirius said, crossing his arms. "Obviously."

✤ ✾ ✤

a/n interrupting your regularly scheduled meme for a visual aid.  I haven't done this in a long time but I used to sketch out scenes for illustration practice.  I've been kind of in an artistic rut so drawing a comic-style version of the opening scene of this chapter was so fun.  And I promise the meme will be back next week : )

Tutoring!  It was always going to be the most chaotic thing possible so I think dueling really just suits it well.  Fifth year is kind of a wash because this is the year that things are most unstable.  It's the beginning of the marauder's turn towards being better people (there are little things here and there that Maeve is making them more aware of), and Maeve is all around in a 'things fall apart before they get better' stage.  No detail in this story was left unconsidered, so there are a lot of little things that are all going to start coming together soon!