CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
'MOVING FORWARD'

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FOR THE NEXT TWO TO THREE DAYS, HONESTLY, I DON'T THINK I SLEPT A WINK. I tried to push what had happened to the back of my mind as best I could, tried to pretend everything was normal, but it was impossible. When my head hit the pillow, the memories of that fateful night would replay on a continuous loop, tormenting me to the point where a good night's sleep was no longer an option. Usually, I'd read a book or go downstairs and make myself a cup of tea, to engage myself in something that would distract me from my nagging thoughts. The first night after the break in I made myself six cups of tea from 11pm until 8am, whilst the time in between was spent running to the loo. It was stupid, really. And I'm sure Roger didn't appreciate the sound of me careering around the house in the early hours of the morning.

That being said, the drummer was very understanding and sympathetic towards my situation and had been my rock throughout this whole ordeal. Even when I did manage to doze off, nightmares were inescapable. So if he was awake, Roger would join me in the kitchen and we'd chat about anything and everything, to take my mind off what was keeping me from getting rest. And when I really couldn't sleep, the blonde would sit on the bed and read my Chemistry notes out loud, which sometimes did the trick - well, if he didn't bore himself to sleep first.

'Jesus, why anyone would want to learn this stuff I have no idea.' Roger commented one night as he lay next to me, flicking through my Chemistry notes with a confused look on his face.

'I sometimes wonder that too.' I murmured as I curled up underneath the duvet.

About an hour ago, I awoke from another nightmare about Colin, but having woken up screaming at the top of my lungs, it was probably the worst one I'd had yet. Roger nearly had a heart attack when he'd heard this coming from down the hall at 4 in the morning - I don't think I'd ever seen him move as fast as when he came rushing into my room to make sure I was okay, well once he'd picked himself up off the ground after he tripped on the rug on the bedroom floor.

After giving up trying to decipher the formulas, Roger put the notebook away and turned over to face me, 'You starting to feel sleepy yet?'

I nodded, 'A little.'

'Good,' he replied as we lay there quietly, 'The nightmares won't last forever. They will stop, eventually.'

'I know,' I replied, 'I'm sorry for waking you up and being such a nuisance, though.'

The drummer gave me sympathetic smile, 'Not at all, love.'

Smiling back, I closed my eyes as the two of us lay there for a while in comfortable silence. Roger seemed to stay until he figured I was asleep before leaving the room, however this time he didn't move. Thinking this was rather odd, I opened my eyes slightly to see he'd already dozed off. Smiling in amusement, I took the throw I had around me and carefully draped it over the drummer so he wouldn't be cold. After switching off the lamp, I turned back over and sootched just a little bit closer to Roger before closing my eyes and soon drifting off, the rest of my nights sleep going completely undisturbed.

The police returned the day after the break in as planned to search for clues that would hopefully uncover the two unknown burglars' identities, whilst another squad was out looking for Colin. They'd been to his house, and from the looks of things, he'd packed his stuff and done a runner - to where though obviously, nobody knew yet. I think I'd feel more settled knowing he, and the other two men for that matter, had been caught and in custody by now, rather than roaming free to do whatever they wanted, but I know the police were working hard to find them and with any luck, they would be arrested safe from the public sometime soon.

Once the police were sure they no longer needed to search the house, the clean up of the living room began. As we started raking though the clutter, we discovered that nothing had actually been stolen, just broken, meaning the whole operation was planned to do nothing but intimidate. Roger insisted that I didn't need to help him (picking up the fragments of what were once your belongings wasn't exactly the most enjoyable task) but it wouldn't feel right if I didn't. So, with that said, we both grabbed a bin liner before getting to work on making the living room look like it had done before, even though the shelves would be pretty bare by the time we were finished.

The radio on the mantelpiece hummed quietly in the background as the rain pouring down outside interfered with the signal, what had been Pick of the Pops now just a crackling noise emanating through the speakers. Putting my dust pan and brush down, I moved carefully towards it, watching my step as half of the living room floor was still littered with stuff, before switching it off knowing that leaving it on making static noises was just pointless. As I returned to what I was doing in silence which was brushing up the remains of what'd been a glass vase that was scattered here there and everywhere, Roger entered the room and made his way over to me, although I was unaware of his presence until his voice broke the peace and nearly made me jump of my skin.

'I found this behind the sideboard,' he announced, as I jolted in fright, 'I didn't know whether you wanted to keep it or—'

'Bloody hell, Roger,' I sighed as I put a hand over my chest, 'Please - don't sneak up on me like that.'

'Oh, sorry, love.' he apologised sincerely.

Ever since the break-in I'd been uncontrollably jumpy. Almost any sudden noise or action sent my heart into a frenzy, so as you can imagine, an unexpected entrance didn't go down very well.

I took the object the drummer had been holding from him and looked at it closely. It was a picture frame surrounding a photo of my parents and I outside this house on my very first day of university. The glass inside was smashed and the photo itself was ripped as the forced smiles on the faces of my parents stared up at me, almost judgingly, boring into my soul. Old memories I'd rather forget flashed through my mind as the very thought of having to eventually tell my parents what had happened here made me feel sick to the stomach. Being the rightful owners of the property, they needed to know.

'I could take it out and sellotape it together again, if you want...' Roger suggested.

I glanced up at him momentarily, looking at the photo one last time, before handing it back to him and concluding, 'Bin it.'

He seemed shocked by my blase attitude, 'What?'

'I have plenty others,' I shrugged, 'Besides it's ripped to shreds, there'll be more tape than photograph by the time you're finished.'

Although confused by my request, the drummer respected my wishes and dumped the broken frame into the bin liner next to him, little did he know my true feelings towards the photo and that I was glad that I had an excuse to finally get rid of it.

The two of us continued tidying up, including the removal of the spray painted letters on the wall, which took Roger a lot of scrubbing and Fairy liquid to try and get rid of. Eventually they were no longer visible, and after I gave the place one last good hoover to pick any broken pieces we might have missed, we decided it was safe enough to start putting the large items of furniture back where they belonged. We placed the coffee table in the middle of the room and positioned the armchairs around it as normal. However, as we shunted the couch, we realised we missed a spot under one of the legs as another one of my belongings emerged from underneath it, only this time, it was something that I held a lot closer to my heart. It was my beloved sketchbook.

From here, it looked intact, meaning there was a small glimmer of hope, but as soon as I picked the leather bound cover up off the floor every page inside it fell out, the pieces of paper landing around me which had been torn right down the middle in a ruthless act of cruelty. I could feel my heart physically break as every drawing, every sketch I had done over the years lay in bits in front of me. I had no words to describe how I was feeling. I was literally speechless.

'Shit,' Roger couldn't believe what he was seeing either, 'Heidi I....I don't know what to say. You-your drawings, they're....'

'Gone,' I uttered quietly, continuing to stare at the pieces of paper on the floor like I was in some sort of trance, my hands shaking in both horror and anger as tears welled in my eyes, 'They're all gone.'

Just as the drummer stepped forward to comfort me, the sound of loud and repetitive knocking at the front door interrupted us, scaring me half to death; again. Sighing, Roger made his way to answer the door as I just stood there unable to comprehend what I'd discovered, until a familiar voice entered the house which grabbed my attention, 'Where is she, Rog?'

I turned around to see an unnerved looking Brian standing in the doorway, his eyes staring at me with unquestionable worry.

'Heidi?' he stepped towards me. As soon as I found the courage to look up at him, I couldn't hold myself together any longer, letting an audible sob slip out as the guitarist quickly enveloped me in his arms. Once I got myself together, I started;

'Brian I—'

But he didn't give me a chance to explain.

'You've had me worried sick!' he exclaimed as he pulled back from the hug, both hands on my shoulders, 'I had to find out what had happened from Freddie, I wouldn't have known if it hadn't of been for him. Why didn't you phone, I would have been over here like a shot! When were you going to bloody tell me, Heidi?!'

'Today, tomorrow — I don't know!' I cried, 'I just didn't want to ruin your night. You and Chrissie; you were having so much fun, I didn't want to spoil that by dragging you here, did I? I was going to tell you, I was. Just...not then.'

He shook his head in disbelief, 'You are unbelievable, do y'know that?'

I nodded my head, shutting my eyes in an attempt to hold back more tears, 'I should've listened to you, I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you.'

'Hey, hey, forget about that,' the guitarist said soothingly as he pulled me back into another hug, holding me tight as he sighed, 'The important thing is that you're safe. You know you're like a little sister to me. God forbid anything like this happens again, but if it does, you tell me straight away; I'll be there, no questions asked,' he paused, 'I love you so much, okay?'

I sniffled, realising how lucky I really was, as I mumbled into his chest, 'I love you too...'

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Brian stuck around for the rest of the afternoon; he didn't leave until he knew that I was okay, not that I expected anything less. I'd never been more grateful to have such amazing friends; everyone had been so kind, so selfless. John came round to see me that evening and gave me a huge hug, whilst Penny popped in with dessert she'd made, although as nice as that was, it did make me feel like a bit a charity case. Nevertheless, I was thankful. Being surrounded by such support all helped in starting to move forward with normal day to day life.

Anyway, whilst Brian kept me company, Roger decided to go out for a while. I don't know where he went but I figured he just needed some space, to clear his head after everything that had happened over the last two days. I felt so bad - I'd managed to throw the drummer head first into this mess of a life I had just by simply being under the same roof as me - he didn't have to put up with that. And I know he wanted to help, and I appreciated it more than anything, but that didn't change the fact that I felt guilty as sin. If he wanted to move out at the end of all this, honestly, I really wouldn't blame him.

That evening after dinner I sat in the living room for the first time since that night and stared at the almost unrecognisable four walls with the telly murmuring quietly in the background. The drummer came through with two cups of tea and entered the room almost tentatively as I remained focused on the space in front of me and nothing else. Making his way over to the couch, Roger placed the mugs on the coffee table and sat down next to me, not saying anything for a moment, until he eventually asked having noticed my distant manner;

'You okay?'

I just shrugged my shoulders, still looking at the wall in front of me as I replied distractedly, 'The room just looks so...empty. So bare. I didn't realise how many ornaments I had about the place until now.'

The drummer looked around and agreed, 'I can see what you mean. It doesn't feel very homely, does it?'

'You can say that again...' I replied honestly.

Roger just gave me a sympathetic smile as an awkward silence ensued. But just seconds later he jolted, as if he'd remembered something he'd previously forgotten.

'I have something for you.' he said in a matter of fact tone, as I simply furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

The blonde got up from his seat and disappeared out the room for a moment, before returning with an object wrapped in tissue paper. He handed it to me as he sat back down.

'What's this?' I asked, looking down at the mysterious gift in my hand.

'I saw it in town today and figured it might, I dunno, make up for some of your lost possessions.'

I gave him an unimpressed look, 'First helping me clean up, now this? Rog, thank you, but if you've spent money on me—'

'Just open it.' he rolled his eyes jokingly.

Shaking my head, I carefully unwrapped the object and removed it from the tissue paper, before setting it in my lap, where I couldn't believe what it was. It was a beautiful, wine-red leather bound sketchbook with flower detailing around the edges of the cover. There was a lock on the front of it, the inside only accessible with a number combination.

'I thought with the lock it would better protect it, so there wouldn't be a repeat of today, y'know.' Roger explained.

I looked up at him and then down at the sketchbook again, as more tears began welling in my eyes for probably the twentieth time today.

'You hate it,' the drummer assumed, slumping back in his seat, 'Talk about putting my foot in it, eh?'

'No,' I spoke up, giving him a genuine smile as I wiped my eyes, 'I love it, Roger. It's absolutely perfect, you don't know how happy I am,' I moved closer to the drummer and put my arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace, 'Thank you so, so much.'

Hugging me back, he chuckled, 'It's nothing.'

I glanced at him as I pulled back, our faces only inches apart, 'It's everything.'

There was a small silence as the two of us stared awkwardly, the tension between us so thick you could cut it with a knife. But before anything could follow, I looked at the coffee table and saw our mugs of tea sitting there looking very much neglected.

'Oh no, we forgot about our tea,' I informed him, as I moved back to where I was before.

Roger just snorted amusedly, 'Forget about it, they're probably cold by now, anyway.'

'Yeah, and who's fault is that?' I retorted, confidently.

The drummer just chuckled, 'Well well, I must say, it's nice to see the old grumpy Heidi is making a return.'

I glared at him, 'And you're an arse, only difference is that never waned.'

'Ouch. Still, you love me really, though. Don't you?' he smirked playfully.

I pretended to think hard about it for a second, before replying, 'Maybe a little bit.'

The blonde looked way too happy about this new information as he picked up his now lukewarm tea and flashed me a cheeky smile.

'See? I knew you'd admit it eventually.'

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Hey guys!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. That moment between Brian and Heidi, wasn't that just so cute? ❤️ Anyway, I was wondering what you think about the new chapter layout? I thought it looked more aesthetically pleasing (lol) so went forward with it but you guys should be the judge of that so let me know what you think in the comments! If you did like this part please go ahead and give it a vote or leave a comment, your feedback is what keeps this story going. There's more drama on the way so stay tuned for that. Again, thank you for all the support so far, I appreciate it more than anything.

All my love,

Anna :-) x