l u k e

"-the game on Tuesday between Arsenal FC and Atletico Madrid. It's been speculations about how the coaches are going to build their teams up, since most people have heard Arsenal is trying a new line-up with for example Hemmings starting as center forward instead of right"

"I think that will truly help the game but I'm also slightly worried of the consequences since we are all aware of Hemmings' and Irwin's history together. It would be a shame if anger would be the reason for any of them to not play the game. They are young players who are needed for the team and-"

"Hey"

The soft voice from beside me made me tear my eyes away from the TV to look at the boy seated next to me on the couch. His smile was warm and comforting as he pulled his legs up on the couch and fully turned his whole body to me.

"Hey" I said back softly before I reached out to grab his legs and put them in my lap. He chuckled at that and leaned back so he was resting his head against the armrest.

"You nervous?" he asked and glanced at the TV as he saw me furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"A bit. It's natural though" I said, making him breathe out a laugh.

"I think it's more than natural," he said and sat up, his warm smile soon turning into a serious one. "It's okay for you to think about him, you know?"

I looked at him intently before glancing at the TV screen, watching the separate pictures of Ashton and I being shown while they kept speaking about us. I pursed my lips before shaking my head and turned back to Jace.

"I'm not" I said, making him smile softly, showing that he thought what I said was utter bullshit.

"I'm not stupid, Luke. The last time you saw each other was at the end of the camp. After what you've told me you left with some pretty heavy things, and I know meeting up again will make those things re-appear"

I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows before shaking my head again and leaned forward so the tip of my nose was brushing against his. He sat still and kept his eyes on me as I smiled small.

"You don't need to worry" I whispered and leaned forward further to press my lips against his softly, making it last for only a few seconds.

"I'm not worried, Luke," he said and softly ran his thumb over my bottom lip, "I'm not even allowed to be worried or jealous since we're not dating"

"We're dating a little" I said and raised an eyebrow while holding my thumb and forefinger up to show half an inch between them, making Jace laugh again.

"Well, I like those odds," he said and wiggled his eyebrows, making me laugh. "So sneaking around without anyone's knowledge except Theo's is called 'dating' now?"

"Mhm, it's really romantic" I spoke jokingly, making Jace roll his eyes. I chuckled and leaned forward to press my lips against his again.

"I'm gonna tell everyone one day. Promise" I murmured gently, smiling small when watching a soft smile spread on his face.

"Don't feel pressured. It's a whole other thing for you, and I wouldn't want you to do it if you weren't 100% comfortable. And, I mean, sneaking around with a superstar is quite exciting"

I nodded my head and breathed out a laugh at his sincere facial expression before pressing my lips against his again, this time engaging a deeper kiss.

"Luke! Call my phone I can't find it anywhere" Theo called from his bedroom. I pulled away from Jace and rolled my eyes as I reached for my phone to dial his number.

"Don't bother, it's on the kitchen counter" Jace whispered and pointed at the phone visibly lying on the counter, making me roll my eyes again.

"It's in the kitchen!" I called back, watching Theo hurry out from his bedroom and grab his phone before turning to me with wide eyes.

"What are you doing? You need to get ready, we're leaving in 5 minutes!" he said, his voice showing how stressed he was.

"I've been ready since 7 am, I've been waiting for you to get ready for hours" I said and pulled Jace closer to my side.

"You should have helped me then!" Theo whined like a toddler before rushing back into his bedroom.

I turned back around to look at Jace, smiling small when watching him laugh. He noticed my eyes on him and turned his head around, making the tip of our noses brush against each other again.

"I should probably get going," he mumbled and ran his fingers through my hair, "Let you guys leave for Spain and all"

"Yeah" I mumbled and pecked his lips a few times before standing up and pulling him up with me. "Will you watch the game?"

"Obviously. I wouldn't miss anything you do" he said, making me smile and embrace him as we reached the door. "Can you promise me something?"

"Anything"

"Don't let the thing we have come between the thing you have with Ashton. Because meeting again will obviously bring back memories, and I don't want to be in the way of those" he said while biting his bottom lip.

"I like you, Jace. I told you not to worry about it"

"I'm not worried, Luke" he said and smiled at me. "I'm just making sure you won't do something you'll regret. Just know you're allowed to talk to him, alright?" 

I looked at him intently for a few seconds before nodding my head and leaned in for a kiss.

"Alright" I whispered and pecked his lips once again. "You're pretty great, you know?"

"So I've heard" he said and wiggled his eyebrows, making me crack a small smile and roll my eyes.

**

I calmly let my phone run back and forth in my hands as I looked out of the window. Madrid was quickly passing by outside as the bus drove fast. The weather was hot and I fixed the AC over me in a desperate attempt to cool myself down. Even though I was only dressed in the thin practice uniform, I was still sweating.

We had landed in Madrid about two hours ago and only had time to leave our things at the hotel and grab some food before we went to the first practice. I was already exhausted but I wasn't complaining; being here was all I wanted right now.

I fixed the headphones over my ears and leaned my head against the window before tapping my fingers against my leg in the beat of the music. I let my eyes run around in the bus, watching all the guys being in their own bubbles or quietly joke around with each other.

I enjoyed being in this group; this team. I had been more than nervous and hesitant as I stepped on the plane back to England again. This time I was all alone, no Calum by my side, and it was weird. Though, I still had the comfort of seeing Calum rather often since we played in the same league, but it just wasn't the same. We were still miles apart and I couldn't meet up with him whenever I wanted like I could before.

I met Michael quite a lot as well, which was a comfort because I hadn't seen Ashton since the camp, and seeing Michael kind of made up for that. From what Michael had told me they were keeping in touch just as well as they did before, which at first made me slightly jealous. I had no reason to though, but I couldn't stop myself from being it.

But I should have known how easy it would be to lose contact with Ashton. I mean, he went to a whole other country with a whole other daily routine, so it was obvious we'd lose touch.

I don't even remember the last time I spoke to Ashton. I don't remember our conversation and I don't remember if we even said goodbye. If we said goodbye that must have meant something; it actually was a goodbye this time.

The funny thing about it was that as time went, I wasn't so bummed about it. I missed him, obviously, but I was alright with how we had lived things and how we had ended it without any drama. It had just been two boys slowly falling out of touch, out of love.

Don't get me wrong; I still felt for Ashton, he's been a huge part of my life ever since we first met. It doesn't matter if it's pure hate or real love, I have always felt something for him, and I just can't forget about that.

But I'm a believer of reality, and reality is just like Ashton had told me on the last night of the camp; we had just started our careers and a relationship wouldn't work even if we tried. It was a summer love. He was right, and I was okay with that.

I liked the life I had now. Actually, I was in love with it. I was living my dream, I had new friends who supported me for who I was, I had met someone who meant something to me, and I was happy.

I still had memories from the past, and I would in no way try to forget those, but they weren't what mattered at the moment.

"Hey Luke," I heard from beside me, making me turn my head to look at Joel chuckling at me. "Are you going out with us or are you staying in the bus all day?"

"Oh" I breathed out and looked around in the bus to watch all the guys exiting it. I quickly gathered my things and hung my bag over my shoulder before exiting the bus, squinting my eyes when the sun hit my face.

As soon as my sight was back, I stopped right in my tracks as I watched a familiar figure carelessly throw his bag in the trunk of a car while his eyes were locked on the screen of his phone. In the other hand he held an energy drink of some kind, struggling to open the lid at the same time as he was texting.

A small smile spread on my face as I watched him put the drink on the roof of the sleek black car and finished texting. I nearly rolled my eyes as he sat down in the car and forgot the drink on the roof.

"I'll be right back" I mumbled to the guys next to me before jogging over to the car on the private parking lot. I reached it as he had turned the car on, so I quickly grabbed the drink and knocked on the window, crouching down a bit to see him look up at me with wide and surprised eyes.

I kept the small smile on my face as I studied his face and that honey-blond hair that had now been cut shorter. His eyes were still locked with mine as he reached out and rolled down the window, keeping quiet as it was fully rolled down.

"You forgot this" I spoke up soon after, smirking small when I held up the drink for him to see. After a moment of silence he reached out and took it before slowly letting a smile spread on his lips.

"Can't do anything right" he mumbled before opening the door and stepped out of the car, embracing me with a hug before I could react. I didn't hesitate to wrap my own arms around him though, holding him tightly while smiling into his neck.

"Hi" he breathed out, making me chuckle before tightening my hold on him.

"Hi" I answered and held onto him for a few more seconds before slowly pulling away to watch his brightly smiling face.

"I thought you'd be here tomorrow?" he said and stepped back to leave a small distance between us.

"Yeah well, wouldn't want you knowing our schedule. Can't have you guys spying on us" I joked, making Ashton chuckle and roll his eyes.

"You're just done playing?"

"Yeah," Ashton said and looked down at his jeans and t-shirt, "I was just about to go to a meeting with my doctor"

"Oh sorry, if you have to leave you should" I spoke but he shook his head and waved his hand in dismissal.

"No, she can wait, it's cool," he said and smiled before looking over my shoulder, "Unless you have to leave?"

I turned around to watch my team enter the small arena before turning back to Ashton. "Nah. We usually take like 30 minutes to just get ready and check our surroundings. It's fine"

"Alright, cool," Ashton spoke, soon making both of us slowly fall into an awkward and uncomfortable silence. It was new thing happening between us, but I wasn't surprised it did.

"So how's life-"

"You doing alright-"

We both spoke up at the same time, causing both of us to fall silent again and look at each other with small smiles.

"You first" he said and breathed out a laugh, making me smile wider.

"How's life treating you, Irwin?" I asked, making him purse his lips and smile genuinely before speaking.

"Life's good, life's great. I'm enjoying every second of it. I feel like a god in this country," he said, making me snort out a laugh. "No but it's really great. I love the guys, I love the team, I love Spain, I love everything around it. My meds are great and I'm feeling like a whole new person, so everything is great"

"That's good. Great" I jokingly mocked, making him roll his eyes and smile before setting his eyes on me again.

"How are you doing then, Barbie?" he asked and the teasing smile on his face made my own smile grow. I hadn't heard that nickname in months, and it was a slight relief to hear it again. Especially from Ashton.

"I'm doing really good. I'm living the dream so I don't think there's anything to complain about. I love my life so I'm doing exceptional" I spoke, making Ashton laugh at my choice of words.

"How are things with your dad?" Ashton asked, making me slightly surprised by the sudden question.

"They're alright. I don't talk much to him or my mom, but they let me do my own decisions now so that's good" I said and watched Ashton nod his head. "How's mama Irwin?" I asked, causing Ashton to breathe out a soft laugh.

"She's living life. She met someone a couple of months ago and they live at the coast, so I live alone now. She still makes sure to travel back to each game because she refuses to miss a single one. But she's happy, which makes me happy" he said and smiled brightly, making me know he spoke the truth.

"What about you? Have you met someone?" I asked even though I was slightly nervous about the answer.

"Are you asking if I'm seeing anyone?" he asked with a small smile, making me shake off my worry and nod my head. "No, I really haven't had any time for it. I'm kind of a hand full myself, as you probably remember, so I felt the need to focus on myself now when mom isn't there to baby me. Gotta get myself under control before I let someone else deal with me"

His words were genuine and he didn't look bummed about the fact that things were as they were. He seemed so comfortable in who he was now and he seemed to think that him being with himself was actually what he needed. It made me relieved to see him doing so great, to see him so happy.

"What about you, Barbie?" he asked, once again a smirk plastered on his face when he used the nickname.

"I, um," I hesitated and bit my bottom lip before speaking up again, "I have a boyfriend. Or well, kind of. We haven't really put a name on what we have yet"

I looked at Ashton and waited for him to show what he thought. Would he be mad? Would he be disappointed? Would he be jealous?

Worry flowed through my body but was quickly replaced with comfort when watching Ashton smile. It wasn't a fake smile to hide his true emotions, but a smile that looked genuine and quite relieved. Like if he was happy I was doing good. Like if he was happy I was happy.

"That's great, really. Does he play football or-?"

"No, he's a medical student. I met him when he was doing our health checkups. Kind of kept in touch after that" I explained, watching Ashton smile wider.

"I'm happy for you, Luke" he spoke softly, making me smile small.

"Thanks," I breathed out, "I'm happy for you too"

It grew silent again, but this time it was comfortable. I could stand like this all day and not feel any weirdness at all. Because after letting everything out, it seemed like Ashton and I were in a better place than we had ever been before.

"You kept it" Ashton suddenly spoke, making me look at him and follow his eyes before cracking a grin when my eyes landed on the small Ken doll that hung off one of the zippers on my bag.

"Yeah," I chuckled and held the keychain between my fingers, "I like to think it brings me luck"

I let my eyes travel back to Ashton, watching his soft smile and bright eyes. He looked so content with how everything was right now, and I had never once seen him look so okay. It made the smile on my face widen before I stepped forward to pull him into another hug. He responded right away and wrapped his arms around me, holding me in silence for what felt like hours.

He was the one to slowly pull away, but stopped before he made any distance appear between us. His eyes were locked with mine, his hazel-green irises searching my blue ones before he slowly reached one hand up and placed it on my cheek. I stood still and looked at him without saying a word, not once trying to question what he was doing, because I already knew.

So I wasn't surprised when he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine softly, engaging a careful and gentle kiss that was to show what we had before wasn't forgiven even though we had both moved on. It didn't mean anything more than a silent thank you and goodbye, but it was all I ever needed to make sure we were both okay.

He pulled away soon after, the kiss only lasting for a few seconds, and stepped back to look at me with a smile. I smiled back, loving the way he actually looked happy.

"One day, Hemmings. It's bound to happen, right?" he spoke softly, breaking the silence and making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"What is?"

"Me and you. It's gonna happen, don't doubt it. One day" he explained, making me look at him deeply before breathing out a loving laugh and nodded my head.

"Yeah. One day, Irwin"

~

THE END

and before you get all mad at me for not making them a couple or whatever!!; i wanted to write a somewhat realistic fic bc this is my story and no one else's:):) and you need to think about what's realistic, and them having a relationship where they never see each other isn't very realistic.

i did end it in a way that you guys can imagine in your own way how their futures would be :) because there will NOT be a sequel.

but anyway; thank you for reading this story!! i have no idea how this has gotten so many reads since i have grown to hate this story a little. though, if all you guys like it so much it must mean it's somewhat good lol. no but thank you so much for all the reads, votes and comments, you are so nice and so amazing and so dedicated and it warms my heart. words can't express how grateful i am.

even though i'm not the biggest fan of this story i'll still miss it because this is the story that brings the most positivity from you guys and i love seeing that. i truly hope that i won't lose you guys now when this story is over because you're all awesome!!

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i love you all very much