a s h t o n

With a small sigh I dropped the folded shirt into my suitcase before letting my hands rub my face in exhaustion. To take a nap before the dinner wasn't that great of an idea I realized now after, since I was almost too tired to think.

The shower was running and I figured Luke would be done soon as he had woken me up about half an hour ago when he started it. I didn't mind the silence and alone time I had now though, because it was quite soothing in a way.

At that moment, I heard the shower turning off and I sighed again. Though, no other sounds were heard from the bathroom, so I went back to messily pack my bag since this was the only time I could do it. We were soon off to the 'goodbye'-dinner we'd have and it would probably last until late. Most guys' flights left early morning, including mine, so I had left packing until the last minute.

As I reached down for yet another shirt, something graced my fingertips. I furrowed my eyebrows and picked it up, only to bite my lip when seeing it was a container of my old set of pills. I read the label and nearly laughed at the description.

"Don't need you anymore" I mumbled before walking over to the trash can and dropped the pills in it. As I was just about to walk off, something caught my eyes, making my turn back around immediately.

The contract familiar to mine ripped apart in the trash made me immediately reach for it in worry.

"What the fuck" I mumbled and fished up yet another piece, thinking it was the contract I had signed only hours ago. I threw the pieces of paper back in the bin and hurried over to the table between the beds. I rummaged through it until noticing my contract lying untouched in the plastic folder on the table.

With furrowed eyebrows I walked back to the bin and crouched down, running my fingers along the several pieces of papers, moving them around to make some words out. It was obvious they were contracts, and it was obvious they weren't mine. So as I had -literally- put the pieces together, my face was set in a frown when seeing two Spanish club contracts thrown away in the trash.

"What are you doing?" Luke suddenly said, making me turn my head quickly to watch him walk out from the bathroom with a slightly worried look on his face.

"I, um," I said and furrowed my eyebrows as I glanced down at the bin, before clearing my throat and standing up, "I was just throwing away my pills"

"Why would you do that?" Luke asked with a frown, making me smile small.

"My old pills" I assured him, making him relax and nod his head. He smiled quickly before turning around to walk over to the closet. I watched him drop his towel and get dressed, making me breathe out heavily and bite the inside of my cheek.

"Are you done packing?" he asked soon after, making me blink my eyes to get back to reality.

"Soon, I think. Mom helped me before the game so I think I have everything under control" I answered and ran my hand up and down my arm as I was starting to get cold. Or maybe it was just some act of uncomfortableness, I didn't know.

"How about you?" I asked, ignoring the thick tension in the air that was confusing me. Or it wasn't a tension, it was us knowing this was our last night and neither one of us knew how to handle it.

"I've started but I'm far from done" Luke sighed as he put on a nice long sleeved t-shirt before turning around to look at me. I looked back, keeping my silence as I let my eyes roam his face. He gave me a small smile, almost a sad one, before walking over and draping his arms around my neck.

"Did you make a decision about your contracts?" I asked after a while of silence, holding back the questions I had about the ones in the bin.

Luke shrugged his shoulders and bit his lip as his eyes studied the collar of my shirt. His face showed nothing else but uncertainty, making me wrap my arms around him and pull him closer.

"I guess," he soon spoke up and let his eyes travel back to mine as he nodded his head, "I mean, yeah. I made a decision"

"And Spain isn't one of them, right?" I asked before I could stop myself, watching Luke tense up and look away as he smiled tightly.

"I never got any offers from Spain" he whispered, making me look at him for what felt like hours while slowly letting my thumbs run back and forth over his hipbones.

"Then who are the contracts in the bin belonging to?" I mumbled, only for Luke to fall completely silent and look at the wall behind me. I sighed, loosening my grip on him. "If you don't want to be near me, that's fine. We're not together, Luke, so there are no obligations to follow each other around. But don't say shit like you love me when you clearly don't want anything to do with me"

With that, I dropped my arms around him and stepped away to go back to my suitcase, hearing Luke sigh from behind me.

"It's not like that" he mumbled, making me purse my lips as I dropped the last of my clothes in the suitcase, not bothering to fold them. I sighed and sat down on my bed to shove the lid of the suitcase shut.

"Then why are those the only contracts in the bin? And why did you even throw them away?" I asked and glanced up at him, watching him fold his arms over his chest and look around in the room with a worried look on his face.

"Because I didn't want you to know" he mumbled after a while, making me furrow my eyebrows. He ran his hand through his wet hair and had a pained look on his face as soon as his eyes met mine.

"Why?" I asked and slightly cocked my head to the side. "I told you I don't care what you sign. I don't mind as long as you're content with it"

"It's just-" Luke started but stopped, sighing heavily before walking over to sit down beside me. My eyes followed his every move, watching intently as he gently grabbed one of my hands and brought it so his own lap to run his fingertips along my veins on my wrist.

"It's just that I don't want to go to Spain" he finally spoke up, looking in to my eyes deeply. "It's not you, I just have never wanted to play in Spain, because the only dream I've had since I was 7 was to play in England, and I get to do that now"

"I get that, Luke. I understand," I whispered and glanced over to the bin before looking back at Luke. "I just don't understand why you needed to hide those papers?"

"Because I didn't want you to think I didn't choose you even though I could" he mumbled and looked down at my hand in his lap.

"But you didn't" I mumbled matter-of-factly, but it was gentle, as I was trying not to cause any trouble.

"But not the way it looks like" Luke said and ran his hand up my arm and shoulder to rest it as the back of my neck while gazing into my eyes.

"I want to be with you, Ash, because I love you. But when seeing you pick your team out of the way you want to live and fulfill your dream, I wanted to do the same. It's just that my dream is like 800 miles away from yours, and I didn't want it to look like I chose that instead of being as close as possible"

I had my bottom lip between my teeth as I listened to him speaking. His words were sane, and I knew exactly how he was thinking. I almost felt dumb for coming up with the conclusions I did earlier, because it was obvious Luke wouldn't do that.

"Luke," I breathed out after a while of silence and placed my own hand at the back of his neck to pull him closer, pressing out foreheads together. "You didn't have to lie. I told you I wanted you to be happy with whatever you picked, and if you want to play in England, I'm more than happy that your dream came true. I'm not mad you chose your dreams before me, because that's exactly what you should do"

Luke was breathing heavily through his nose as he listened to me. His fingers dug into my neck as he pulled me even closer, but I didn't fight the closeness, because I needed it just as much.

"And I don't want to be the one who breaks our bubble, but we need to be realistic; and the reality is that we're a couple of 18 year olds who have just started our careers. A relationship wouldn't fucking work even if we tried" I whispered quietly. The words were hard to say, but they had to be said at some point.

"Especially not when one of us is still trapped in the closet" I added in a joking matter to lighten up the mood, and nudged my nose against Luke's to hear him breathe out a laugh. It was a broken one, but a laugh nonetheless.

"Yeah" he whispered and nodded his head before connecting our lips, slowly moving his against mine. His hand at the back of my neck tightened its hold, as my other hand found its way to Luke's waist, pulling him even closer than before.

"So," I breathed out as we had disconnected our lips, "England, huh?"

"Mhm," Luke said and nodded his head before smiling small, "London, actually. I handed in the contract to coach before you woke up"

"Wow," I hummed and nudged him gently with my shoulder, "Look at us both playing for red and white"

"Yeah," Luke chuckled and nudged me back, "You better have your away kit when we play against each other one day because I look good in those colors"

I glanced up and watched him smile at me. His eyes were glossy and mine were probably as well, but he still had a smile on his face as he looked at me with those bright blue eyes.

"Yeah you do" I answered and grinned small before connecting our lips again.

**

I was seated in the large cafeteria that had turned into a nice-looking dinner room in just a matter of hours. Several long tables were placed in the room, all of them fancy set with nice china, which wouldn't have mattered if it was only paper plates since we were all a bunch of teenage boys. Though, our parents who were seated at the other table were probably enjoying it.

The atmosphere was light and happy, all guys celebrating their signings or just the fact that we've all made it through the whole summer successfully. As I sat here now, I almost forgot it was the last night because I enjoyed the moment so much.

As I glanced over to Luke who was seated across from me I could see he felt the same way since his laugh was loud and his smile was wide. It made me silently grin to myself, only keeping my eyes on him.

I was pulled out of my daze when I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders, roughly giving me a shake. "How you feeling there, Irwin?" Sean spoke just by my ear, making me move away to turn and look at him. He was smiling widely at me, making me smile back.

"I'm good," I answered and chuckled at his bright smile, "I'm guessing you're feeling great"

"I'm feeling more than great, Ashton, I'm feeling terrific" he spoke and shook my body again. "And we'll be neighbors as well!"

"Yeah you know, what does a few hundred of miles between us do?" I said sarcastically, making Sean roll his eyes with a grin.

"France and Spain, what's the difference, man?" he said and shrugged before walking off again, making me laugh and shake my head.

Before I could call anything back to him, coach stood up and tapped his fork against his glass loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I'm sorry to disturb the dinner, but I think it's time for me to share a few words" he spoke and laughed as soon as all of the guys started to cheer.

"Alright," he chuckled and wave his hands for everyone to calm down before speaking again, "I just wanted to tell you that this summer has been a pleasure to coach through. I have seen some exceptional football, and I'm proud of how far you guys have come during these months here. I have seen you guys go from individuals to a group, and what pleases me more than the football you play, is that you have become such great friends. Isn't that right, Hemmings?"

The question came from nowhere, making Luke look at him with raised eyebrows. The guys laughed as Luke glanced over to me questioningly before looking back at coach.

"Yeah, I guess so?" he answered startled, causing me to laugh as well.

"It's great to hear you so convinced," coach laugh, causing Luke to grin. "But with that I want to say that some of you have made more progress than other, and the things you've realized personally are things not just I am proud of, but all people around you. I am very happy about the fact that you guys feel comfortable with yourselves, because without that you'll have no confidence. So I hope this camp didn't just teach you how to improve your skills within football, but that you're more than just a player. I'm proud of you guys, it's been an honor to coach you this summer"

Coach smiled again and reached his glass up for a toast, making everyone do the same. Coach met my eyes and nodded his head, raising his drink a bit more, making me smile and nod my head back, knowing fully well I'd be home in Australia with nothing if it wasn't for him.

**

"I love you" Luke panted out to the hot air as I worked my lips against his neck. His clothes were off, so were mine, and only the sheets were covering us up as he grabbed my face and connected out lips.

"I love you too" I spoke between kisses before grinding my hips down on his, feeling his member against my own. He whined at the touch, raising his hips to move them with mine, fisting my hair as he kissed me harder.

It was desperate now. It was our last night; last night doing this, and we wanted it so bad. I wanted to make it count, wanted it to be worth remembering. Because who knew if this would ever happen again? If we would ever meet again, that is.

But at the same time, something desperate and forceful wasn't as worth remembering as something slow and caring. I did love him after all, so why not show it?

"Hey" I mumbled and pulled away from his lips, only for him to let out a whine.

"What?" he asked and tugged at my hair as he raised his hips again, making me close my eyes and moan.

"Fuck," I breathed out and lowered my head to burry my face in his neck before speaking again, "Let's take this slow, alright? We've got all night, babe"

Luke immediately calmed down at that and relaxed down on the mattress while looking up at me. His blue eyes were bright in our room that was darkly lit, and his chest was moving up and down as he breathed heavily. His swollen pink lips were parted, making me reach out to trace them with my thumb.

"You're beautiful" I whispered while studying his face in awe. I had been with him for a while now, but just now did I really appreciated his appearance. He was beautiful; he was art to the eye.

"You too" he whispered back and smiled small before gently pulling my face down to softly press our lips together.

This time our lips moved together slowly, tongues rubbing against each other gently to taste and feel everything. Luke's hands in my hair loosened their grip before they moved down my neck to settle at my back, pulling me so close I could barely breathe.

My hands were placed on each side of his face, keeping myself up as I was hovering over of him. I slowly dropped my hips again to move them against Luke's, immediately earning a throaty moan from the blonde. I hummed at that and reached one hand down to wrap my fingers around him, making him bite down on my bottom lip as I moved my hand up and down.

"I'm gonna miss you- miss you so much" Luke stuttered through moans and whines, making me nod my head before pressing my lips against his again.

"I'm gonna miss you too" I nearly whined and rubbed my nose against his, breathing in his scent and listened to his heavy breathing.

Soon Luke let one of his hands drop from my back to my front, wrapping his own fingers around my achingly hard member, slowly moving his hand up and down and making me shut my eyes close and grit my teeth together in pleasure.

"You're amazing" I mumbled and leaned down to place kisses along his jaw as I reached for the lube placed far out on the edge of the mattress. Placing my lips on Luke's, I released the hold of his member and poured a generous amount of lube on my fingers, coating them with it before letting my hand travel down again.

"Please" Luke whispered into my ear, almost making me moan at the tone of his voice, before slowly spreading his legs and entering one finger inside of him. He let go of a strangled noise, not quite a pained one, but an uncomfortable one. It didn't take long before Luke had relaxed and was breathing heavily while meeting my hand's movements.

"Two" Luke mumbled and ran his hands through my hair softly, keeping his head tilted back to breathe heavily into the thick air.

I did as told, not hesitating for a second as I entered another finger and moved both of them farther inside, spreading them apart to hear Luke let out a gasp. I continued stretching him slowly, leaving sweet kisses all over his face while running the tip of my nose along his cheekbones.

As Luke's breathing no longer had a steady rhythm and his legs were slightly starting to shake, I pulled my fingers out and sat up to look at him, admiring how the thin layer of sweat made him body look even more amazing than before.

Without me having a time to react, Luke reached for the lube and poured some in the palm of his hand before reaching out to coat my bare member it it.

"We don't need a condom" he stated in a soft whisper as he slowly and teasingly moved his hand up and down. My breathing grew shaky as I had my eyes locked with his, watching him bite his lip harshly.

After a few more seconds I moved Luke's hand away from me and lowered myself down so our faces were only inches apart. I breathed against his lips and watched him close his eyes before I slowly entered him. Luke let out a strangled moan and brought his hands to my back again, pressing his palms against my lower spine and pushed me farther in.

"Luke" I moaned out in one breath, feeling how the tightness and heat he brought made me go crazy. Luke only nodded and let out a small moan before wrapping his legs around my waist, pulling me even closer.

"Move, please" he pleaded and breathed heavily as he dug his heels into my lower back. "Baby" he added, making me moan before moving back to then thrust into him again.

I kept my rhythm slow but made sure to touch every inch of him to make him feel just as good as he made me feel. By the moans he let out and the way his nails dug into my skin, I would think I succeeded with that.

Both Luke and I were breathing heavily as our hips moved together, so I bent down and connected our lips to lower the volume of our voices. Luke was quick to kiss me back, moving his hands to my hair and tugging as I picked up the pace and trusted into him harder than before.

My free hand traveled down to his chest, letting my warm palm feel the quick beat of his heart before I continued travel down to his member and took a hold of it again, moving my hand in the same rhythm as my thrusts.

Luke moaned into the kiss, making vibrations go trough my lips and throat. My hand around him tightened and my thrusts quickened as he breathed out small praises for me each second that went by.

I grunted as my thrusts got harder and harder, wanting so desperately to get both Luke and I to the final release, but at the same time I never wanted this to end.

"I love you," Luke spoke after a while of only moaning into the thick air around us. I moaned at that, moving quicker as I looked down at him with dark eyes.

"You're mine" Luke added in a whisper before crying out in pleasure as I was pressed against his prostate.

"And you're mine" I replied in a breathy whisper before moving my hand faster and continued the hit his prostate until he came with a throaty moan. Just the sound of it and the tightness around me made me come as well, causing Luke to gasp as I filled him up.

"I love you" I breathed out and collapsed beside him, throwing my arms around him to hold him close as we laid in the darkness in only silence, not knowing what to do or say to not ruin the comfortable yet intimidating moment we shared.

"Is it over now?" It was Luke who was the first one to speak up in a broken whisper. I gulped at the question and tightened my hold on him before shrugging.

"I don't know" I answered truthfully before pulling him close to my chest, just wishing the night never had to end.

~

i was watching the liverpool-arsenal game (what a fucking game dudes) and felt the need to update

btw, important info; one more chapter and two epilogues left because i want epilogues from each of their pov's.

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