a s h t o n

My eyes were opened wide as I stared into Luke's clear blue ones. I bit my bottom lip as Luke let his fingertips draw patterns between the different features on my face while breathing heavily.

I slowly closed my eyes and hummed quietly at the comfortable feeling, and tightened my hold around Luke's waist, bringing him closer to me.

"Are you tired? You didn't sleep much" Luke spoke and stopped drawing lines on my face to bring his hands up to my hair, tangling his fingers in it.

"No, I'm good," I spoke and inched my face closer to kiss his cheek and jaw, "I slept good"

After the long day yesterday, I was more than exhausted. I stayed up longer than expected when telling Luke about everything that had happened, and it was such a relief to let him know.

Actually, I didn't even know most the things I learned yesterday, but I was content with everything I found out.

And I was even more relieved when knowing Luke actually felt something for me as well.

"Good" Luke whispered and gave me a small smiled before sighing out in content and closed his eyes. The sight made my whole body warm up.

This was all new to me. To feel. Maybe I had felt before, but I never believed it until now, and it felt really fucking good.

"How was practice yesterday? Did I miss anything good?" I asked and licked my lips while watching Luke burry half his face into the pillow.

"I don't know, I never saw what the goalkeepers did" he mumbled out, words muffled by the pillow, "We on the other hand went out running"

His tone of voice was dry, sounding like he did not appreciate the hard exercise he got yesterday, making me chuckle softly.

It was quiet for some time before Luke spoke up again, "What are you feeling right now?"

"What do you mean?" I asked and raised an eyebrows while eyeing him curiously.

"I mean, what do you feel now? Like, can you explain?" he asked quietly, looking up at me with careful eyes, making me breathe out a laugh.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked and ran my hand up and down his bare back, caressing his soft skin with my palm.

"I don't know," Luke mumbled and shrugged as he glanced away, "I'm just curious since you said you have never felt before but now it's obvious that you do. I'm just wondering how you feel, you know?"

I bit my bottom lip and smiled before nodding my head at his question. "I feel- I feel good. I feel relaxed, content. Happy" I spoke, making Luke look at me again and smile small.

"It makes me happy to hear that" Luke whispered, making me chuckle before leaning in to press my lips against his.

Luke sighed out at the lip-locking and tugged very lightly at my hair before moving his lips with mine. It was all so gentle now, and it was quite new to me, but I didn't hate it. I didn't hate it at all.

I breathed heavily through my nose as I parted my lips and let his tongue explore my mouth as usual. I let him take the lead while I relaxed against the pillows and moved my tongue the way he wanted it to.

My hands gripped his waist tightly as I gently moved him on top of me, making sure not to break the kiss for even a second. Luke hummed against my lips, the sound vibrating into my mouth.

I hummed as well, enjoying the feeling of his lips against mine before tightening my hold on Luke and started to take over the lead of the kiss.

As I bit down on his bottom lip, Luke moaned and shuffled up on my body, straddling my waist without breaking away from the kiss. The act made me smirk into the kiss, causing Luke to pull away with furrowed eyebrows.

"What?" he asked with a breathless voice, only making me smirk wider.

"Nothing" I said and shrugged before leaning up to capture his lips again, but Luke pulled away before I could deepen it.

"No," Luke said and shook his head, an amused glint in his eyes though, "Why are you smirking like that?"

"Because" I spoke and shrugged.

"Because, what?" Luke asked and rolled his eyes while a small grin crept up on his face.

"Because you're really hot" I spoke and smirked wider when Luke raised his eyebrows up in surprise.

"You're smirking because I'm hot?" Luke asked and chuckled lowly.

I shrugged and cocked my head to the side, "Yeah well, I'm enjoying that a hot guy is all over me"

Luke scoffed and playfully rolled his eyes. "I'm not 'all over you'"

"Yes you are," I said and ran my hands up his waist, "You're always all over me, Barbie"

"Well okay," Luke said and snorted, "I'm glad to see your ego's still there after yesterday"

"I can change disorders left to right, but my ego will always be with me" I spoke and laughed when Luke rolled his eyes again.

I bit the inside of my cheek when looking up at the smiling Luke on top of me. I let my right hand travel up to his chest, pressing my palm against his heart and tapped my fingers against his pale skin.

"In all seriousness now," I spoke softly and licked my lips when watching Luke bite down on his bottom one, "I'm enjoying this. I enjoy being like this with you"

Another smile crept up on Luke's face again as he let one on his hands caress my cheek and jaw.

"With that new disorder came also cheesiness," Luke spoke and chuckled when I rolled my eyes, "But yeah, I enjoy this too"

I smiled up at Luke before scrunching my face up and shook my head, "No, you're right. We can't be cheesy, I don't do cheesy"

He laughed and lowered his head down to lean his forehead against mine, "So you're saying you'll stop doing me if I keep being cheesy?"

"Cheesy is unattractive" I mumbled and poked my tongue out to lick his upper lip.

"Baby, I can make anything attractive" Luke said in a playfully seducing voice. I raised an eyebrow and hummed.

"Yeah? And how's that?" I asked and ran my hands up and down his back.

"Because I'm 'hot'" Luke spoke and smirked contently before leaning in to place his lips on mine again.

The kiss didn't have time to grow heated as someone knocked on the door, causing both Luke and I to groan out.

"I'll get it" Luke mumbled and crawled off of me to walk over to the door. He quickly dressed himself in a pair of sweats before opening the door, making Michael stumble into the room.

Michael smiled up at Luke before glancing over to me and grinned widely.

"I read your text a few minutes ago. The one you sent last night," Michael spoke and excitedly jumped over to me, "Holy shit dude!" he spoke before throwing himself on top of me and hugged me tightly.

As I was going home from the hospital last night I had sent Michael and my mother a text, explaining just what had happened and so on. I had gotten a reply from mom right away but I knew Michael was asleep, so I didn't count on a reply from him at that time.

"I know" I mumbled into his crazy morning hair, chuckling slightly when he hugged me tighter.

"You got new pills?" he asked when he pulled away from me, making us both be able to sit up in the bed.

"Yeah, they're in the bag" I spoke and nodded over the white plastic bag on the floor.

"Shit, I'm so fucking happy yet I'm so fucking mad. I can't believe they let you walk around for nearly 10 years, believing you were someone you're not" Michael said and shook his head.

"Yeah, I know, I said and shrugged my shoulders, "But it's all good now. It feels good"

Michael smiled brightly, and I could see that these positive news brought him relief as well. He had always been forced to take care of me, to be worried about me, and now he was just as relieved as my mother. It was quite ironic actually.

"You feel good too?" Michael asked and smiled over at Luke who was seated on the edge of my bed across from us.

"I feel great" Luke spoke and smiled at Michael before looking at me, his smile changing into a more personal one.

"Great, because I feel fucking amazing as well. Dude I swear, when I saw your text and-" Michael spoke but stopped right in his sentence when he glanced down at the bed we sat on and then over to Luke.

"Why are you sleeping in Luke's bed?" Michael asked and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. I raised my eyebrows up and widened my eyes a bit when trying to figure something out.

"This is my bed" Luke spoke up and pointed at the bed he sat on.

"No it's not," Michael said and snorted out a laugh, "You've had the same beds for 7 weeks, why would you change now?"

"Versatility?" Luke spoke and I almost sighed at his lame lies.

Michael raised an eyebrow and glanced between Luke and I before settling his eyes on Luke, eyeing the blonde up and down. Then Michael started to smirk and chuckle while shaking his head.

"You horny motherfuckers" he spoke and laughed as he glanced between us, both Luke and I looking at him silently.

"What are you talking about?" I asked and tried to sound as innocent as possible. Obviously, it didn't work.

"You thought I would've never guessed?" Michael asked and chuckled, "I always had a feeling but now with you two leaving marks on each other left to right, you're just making it easy"

My eyes shot to Luke at Michael's words and I immediately eyed the hickey on Luke's lower stomach.

I sighed but soon cracked a smile because I knew there was no reason to hide anything like this from Michael. He was my best friend and he'd keep this to himself.

He already had been holding it to himself for a while, seeming like he has known longer that I had realized.

"You two are so fucked up" Michael spoke and laughed as he leaned back to lie down on the bed.

I huffed but kept the smile on my face before turning to look at Luke, seeing him wearing a small smile as well.

**

"I'm fucking starving" Emil said as he walked towards the breakfast. Michael was right behind him, and after him were Luke and I.

I walked beside Luke in a comfortable silence, letting my eyes roam the room before they landed on the table where Calum and Felix were seated, talking about something I couldn't hear.

"I'm sitting down, get me breakfast" Luke spoke and before I could answer, he walked off to Calum and Felix, smoothly making his way into their conversation. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Oh, you're his bitch," Michael spoke as I stood beside him and picked some breakfast, "I actually thought it would be the other way around"

I huffed and elbowed Michael hard in his ribs before continuing to pick my breakfast. I had no idea what Luke wanted, so I just placed an apple on the tray for him.

He shouldn't trust me with these kinds of responsibilities.

"I gotta say, I'm a bit hurt you didn't tell me, but I'm happy you're happy. I think Luke's good for you" Michael whispered into my ear.

"It's not like we're together or anything" I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the food.

"I know," Michael said and shrugged carelessly, "But you're still with him and I'm just saying that it's positive"

I turned to look at my best friend and chuckled, "How could you turn out to be the wise one? I mean, when you were 7 you put your head down a bucket of glue"

Michael scoffed but laughed soon after, flicking my cheek with his finger, "Fuck off" he mumbled, but the grin on his face was showing fondness.

I smiled before bumping my elbow against his ribs, gently this time, "Thank you" I said, causing Michael to look up at me with questioning eyes.

"For what?" he asked and turned to fully look at me.

"You know- For everything, I guess," I said and shrugged, "Just, thanks for always sticking by my side and everything. If you wouldn't, we both know I'd be dead today"

"Don't say that" Michael said and frowned lightly.

"It's the truth though, and you know it. But you don't have to worry because it never happened" I spoke and gave Michael a reassuring smile before patting his back.

"Yeah," Michael mumbled and gave me a small smile, "You better not fucking scare me like that ever again"

"Never" I spoke and gave Michael a grin before turning around and walked over to the table. I sat down beside Luke and across from Calum, giving him a quick smile.

"Where's my food?" Luke asked and glanced around on my tray.

"Oh, yeah" I mumbled and handed him the apple.

"An apple, are you serious?" he asked and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not your bitch, Hemmings. Go get your own breakfast" I said and gave him a playful glare before smirking.

"I hate you" Luke muttered and took a bite from the apple as he stood up from his seat.

"No you don't" I chuckled as I started to eat my food.

Luke sighed and looked at me before mumbling quietly. "No, I don't" he said before walking off to the food, me watching him all the way with a foolish grin on my face.

"Hey," Calum said softly and gained my attention, making me look at him with raised eyebrows, "How are you feeling? Heard you were at the hospital yesterday"

"Oh, I'm fine. Great, actually" I said and smiled, making him smile back and nod his head.

"Good," Calum said, "You good with Luke as well?"

I looked up from my food and eyed him after hearing his question. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him suspiciously before speaking.

"Yeah, we're good. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," he spoke and shrugged as he pealed his orange, "Just take care of him, yeah?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows further.

"He's my best friend, you know. I'm obligated to act like a protective parent. He's strong physically, but not as strong mentally. Just, be good to him" Calum spoke and gave me a small smile before getting involved in the conversation Felix, Michael, Philip and Emil were having.

I sat back and looked at Calum in silence before turning around to study Luke. I bit my lip to fight the smile but failed, now smiling fondly when watching Luke frustratedly trying to get the lid of the can to open.

Yeah, I'll take care of him. I'll be good to him.

~

god i have so much to fit in this book before it ends and i don't want to make it too long. it's stressful.

vote and comment

ily