l u k e

"What's up with you, grumpy?" Calum asked as he eyed me from his bed. A tennis ball was bouncing between us lazily, and it was the only noise being heard in the room except Calum's quiet singing.

"Nothing" I mumbled and caught the green ball before bouncing it back to Calum.

"Something," Calum argued and gave me a look when I rolled my eyes at him, "Just tell me. You're so distant lately, it's like you act like we don't even know each other"

I bit the inside of my cheek and sighed as I looked up at him with a small frown. I was thinking hard about what to tell him, because I didn't want him to think I was keeping something away from him, but I kind of was.

Or, I really was.

"I didn't notice" I mumbled again, trying to get myself out of the situation as easy as possible. Though, Calum still didn't believe me and rolled his eyes before throwing the ball at me, making it hit the wall just by my head.

"What was that?" I asked and frowned as I looked at him with confused eyes.

"I'm mad at you" he answered and shrugged.

"Then tell me that, don't fucking throw things at me!"

"You're the one to talk," Calum muttered, "You and Ashton solved every little argument with hurting each other"

"Well, not anymore" I scoffed.

"Maybe that's because you're suddenly best friends?" Calum asked and sat up in his bed to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"You're still hung up on that, really?" I asked and chuckled, seeing Calum roll his eyes again.

"Well, yeah," he spoke in a serious voice, making me look at him, "I mean, you're my best friend and we've known each other basically since we were born and I've never seen you like this, man. You've changed"

I frowned and chuckled awkwardly as I sat up in Niall's bed, "I have not changed" I argued.

"Yes you have" Calum spoke as if it was obvious, "I don't know how or in which way, but you've changed"

I licked my lips and looked down at my fingers in my lap, having no idea what to tell him. Maybe he was right. Hell, he is right. I had just been too occupied with this little imaginary bubble Ashton and I had, to realize that people actually noticed.

And immediately, I grew nervous. I couldn't have to whole camp knowing about the things Ashton and I have done because a few weeks ago, even I was in denial about it. I was fucking mad at myself for giving in to the guy I hated the most. But now I didn't hate him, I didn't hate him at all, and I wasn't mad anymore.

"Actually, both you and Ashton have changed since you became 'mates'" Calum spoke up again, making me tense up for a few second.

"Well, of course we've changed. If we didn't change towards each other then we'd probably still throw punches left to right. When you actually make peace, you kind of have to change your previous methods" I said, making Calum roll his eyes once again and I was starting to grow irritated in the lack of faith he had in me.

"You know how I mean, and that's not it. I'm not stupid, I know something is wrong with Ashton and I know you have it figured out. And now you two have like your own secret club where no one else is invited" Calum spoke, surprising me fully.

"If this was kindergarten I'd cry, because my best friend doesn't even invite me to join the club" Calum spoke again and gave me a small grin to make it up as a joke, but I knew he meant it as serious.

"What?" was the only thing I could manage to say, making Calum chuckle and shake his head before he jumped off his own bed and walked over to sit beside me on Niall's.

"I know you're hiding shit and you shouldn't keep secrets away from me. I mean, we're best friends Luke, I tell you everything, and you have too until recently. I just wonder why, you know?

"And I know I'm sappy as hell right now, so don't you dare make fun of me, but I'm a bit scared to drift away from you after the camp. So much has happened to you that I haven't been a part of and you don't really let me, so I'm just afraid that we'll drift apart after everything" Calum spoke and shrugged his shoulders before they slumped down by his sides.

I bit my lip and leaned back against the wall as I looked at him hesitantly. I felt bad for making him feel like this, and I realize now that I haven't been like I used to towards him. We've barely hung out these last few weeks and I understand why he thinks that we were 'drifting apart', as cheesy as it sounds.

But I couldn't tell him what I was hiding because I know that he'd be mad. I just knew he'd be furious and Ashton would as well.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled and Calum breathed out a laugh before he leaned his back against the wall as well and sighed out.

"I mean it, Cal. I never realized but now when you're telling me I see it and I'm sorry. But I don't think of you as less of a friend" I spoke and Calum turned his head to grin at me before he brought one hand up and patted me over my face, making me grimace and shrug him away.

"Good, because I don't either," he said and smiled, "I do want to know what you're hiding from me though"

I sighed dramatically and bit the inside of my cheek harshly when immediately feeling irritated, "I'm not hiding anything from you, I've just been stressed about the final game and so on"

"Luke, do I look like an idiot?" he asked and I shrugged, making him give me a pointed look before speaking again, "Ever since a few weeks in to the camp you've been different and you just lock yourself up in your room or disappear and you just shut me out completely. Don't act like there's nothing going on, because there is"

"Well, you're wrong and there's nothing going on. If there was I'd tell you" I lied through gritted teeth before standing up from the bed.

"God, you're so fucking annoying," Calum sighed and threw his hands up in frustration, "But fine, keep lying to me then. It doesn't at all make this situation worse"

I turned around to look at him with irritated eyes, feeling anger build up as I tried to defend myself. "Why are you being so dramatic? I'm telling you nothing's wrong and you should believe me"

"But I don't," Calum said and stood up from the bed as well, "Because you're lying"

"You know what? Maybe I am lying. But maybe that's because it's something I really want to keep to myself. You don't have any right to get mad at me for keeping things personal" I said and frowned.

Calum snorted like if I was telling him a joke, making me even angrier.

"What now?" I snapped impatiently and watched as Calum raised his eyebrows up in a mock expression.

"Nothing, you're just suddenly full of shit" he said and shrugged his shoulders, making me roll my eyes.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I scoffed.

"Nothing, because everything that is wrong and going on with me you already know about, because I share things" he said and smiled sarcastically, "Like you don't do, best friend"

I clenched my jaw and gave him a furious look before my mouth started moving and words spilling out without any filter stopping them.

"Okay, do you want to know what I'm keeping from you so fucking bad?" I asked and raised one eyebrow as I moved my hands around to show my frustration.

"Well, yeah you idiot. That's what I've been telling you this whole time" Calum said and snorted again, making me clench my jaw tighter.

"The reason I have 'changed' is because I've been sleeping with Ashton for over four weeks" I said in a hard voice, making Calum frown.

"Well I fucking know that, Luke. You're sharing a room" he said and I had to grit my teeth tighter together to not roll my eyes at his stupidity.

"You you fucking idiot. I've been sleeping with him, like sex, as in fucking" I spoke in the same harsh voice, watching Calum shut his mouth right away and look at me with wide eyes.

It grew quiet after that and I was just about to turn around and leave when Calum spoke up.

"W-Wha-" he stuttered and blinked before speaking again, "I-I didn't know you were-"

"Gay? Yeah, surprise" I said and breathed out a sarcastic laugh when seeing Calum uncomfortably purse his lips.

"And it feels so great to have told you this now. Wow Calum, everything feels so much better, like a heavy lift has been taken off my shoulders. Thank you for this, really" I spoke sarcastically before giving him a glare and walked out of the room.

I walked with frustrated steps over to my own room and ripped the door open, being met by an empty room. Ashton was probably still with Michael, and I understood that because they had a lot to talk about. Hopefully it goes better for them than it did for Calum and I.

I stepped into the room and slammed the door shut before walking to the bathroom and turned on the sink in with freezing water. I filled my hands to then dip my face in it.

I groaned when I looked at myself in the mirror, just now realizing what I had told Calum. Ashton would be so mad if he ever found out I had told someone. We promised to keep it a secret, and I hadn't planned on telling anyone and neither did he.

I turned around quickly when hearing the door open and tightened my jaw once again when Calum walked inside the room and looked around until he spotted me. He took a deep breath and walked towards me.

"Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it-"

"Shut up Luke," He said and gave me a harsh look, "You can't just tell me all of that and then leave? It's all fucked up!"

I only shrugged my shoulders.

"No, don't do that. You'll tell me everything because I'm worth hearing about this. Like, for example that you're gay? Since when?!" he asked with wide eyes.

"I don't know, since I was 9 or 10 or something" I mumbled, making Calum's eyes widen even more.

"10?! You've known for 8 years and you haven't once thought about mentioning it to me?" he asked and he almost sounded a bit hurt.

"Well, I thought you'd react badly and I was right" I said and moved my hands around to point out the obvious situation.

"Of course I react like this when my best friend tell me he's been gay for 8 years and is sleeping with our teammate who he used to hate!" Calum spoke in almost a harsh whisper now, making me furrow my eyebrows.

"I know the saying 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer', but I don't think this is how they meant by it" he spoke again, making me roll my eyes exaggeratedly.

"Well, maybe I didn't tell you because-"

I stopped myself when I heard someone grabbing the handle from outside the door. I quickly pushed Calum further into the bathroom and held up a finger for him to be quiet as Ashton walked in to the room, making me see him from the bathroom.

Ashton looked around before his eyes met mine. A smug grin was placed on his face before he locked the door and stepped into the bathroom and walked over to me.

Without any words, he placed his lips on mine hotly and forcefully, making me widen my eyes as I could see Calum in the corner of the room with wide eyes. I subtly waved for him to hide in the shower as I awkwardly moved my lips with Ashton's.

As Calum frantically had hid away in the shower, I pulled away from Ashton's lips and looked at him with raised eyebrows, slightly worried that he'd notice Calum anytime soon.

But then I noticed the big smile on Ashton's face. An actual genuine smile, making his dimples appear in a way I have never seen them before, and I immediately let go of my thoughts of Calum.

"What's up?" I asked softly and placed my hands at the beginning of his shoulders and end of his neck as his hands gripped my hips to hold me in place.

He stayed quiet for a bit longer and smiled that big smile as his eyes roamed my face, almost making me feel quite insecure.

"I talked to coach," he started and I bit my cheek harshly as I waited for him to tell me more, "I'm not going home"

My face dropped from all the nervousness and I looked at him wide eyes and mouth hung open in relief. "You're not?"

Ashton shook his head and chuckled softly. "There's a lot of shit I have to do to stay, but I'm staying, and it's partly thanks to you" he spoke and slowly leaned forward again so his lips were brushing against mine.

I could almost see the grimace Calum had on while watching this, even if he was away from both mine and Ashton's sights.

"Because of me?" I whispered and Ashton tightened his hold on my hips as he felt my breath against his lips.

"Yeah," he breathed out and leaned in to softly and teasingly kiss the corner of my mouth, "That yelling you did really did some good"

"So, you're staying, for real? Until the very last day?" I asked and he nodded again.

"I'm not going anywhere, Barbie" he said and smirked. I did the same before placing my lips on his, working them hotly against his.

My hands found his hair and I tangled my fingers into it as his tongue entered my mouth, making me let out a hot breath.

Without breaking the kiss, he leaned down to grab the back on my thighs and picked me up to put me down on the counter by the sink.

Not until our tongues moved hotly together and his hands slowly inched up my thighs to get closer to my crotch did I remember Calum hidden in the shower and pulled away from Ashton quickly. He looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows as I pushed him away a bit.

"I-I can't really do this right now, I promised to meet Calum here now, this exact time," I said and pointed at my wrist to show the time but I wasn't wearing a watch, making Ashton chuckle with furrowed eyebrows.

"Okay, it's cool. I need to call my mom anyway" he said and nodded his head, making me do the same as well.

"But, um," I said to stop him from walking away just yet. I pulled him closer to me and slowly leaned closer to his ear, making my lips brush against it hotly.

"We can do this later though. Tonight when we're both done and we got the whole night, yeah?" I whispered, quietly to make sure Calum wouldn't hear, but Ashton took it as something sexy. His hands on my thighs tightened its grip and I smirked when hearing him breath out heavily.

"Yeah, we'll do that" he spoke before moving to his lips so they were working against mine again. I hummed into it, melting almost, before he pulled away. He smirked at me before he walked out of the bathroom, got his phone, gave me one last look, and walked out of our dorm.

"Oh my god!" Calum said as he ran out of the shower to stare at me with wide eyes, "You could have warned me you'd have sex!"

I rolled my eyes and scoffed before jumping off the counter, "I stopped him before it went to far"

"You two locking lips was far enough!" Calum exclaimed with a frantic look on his face, "Holy shit, you weren't lying about you and him" he then breathed out in a shocked voice.

"Why the fuck would I lie about it?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows as I looked at him.

It was quiet for a few dreadfully long seconds before Calum spoke up again,

"I just got the impression that you two only fucked around. You didn't tell me you had feelings for him" he said, making me look at him with the most clueless expression ever.

"I don't have feelings for him" I said defensively as I looked at him with judging eyes.

"Really?" Calum asked, in what sounded like surprise and disbelief, "Because it sure looked like it"

I opened my mouth to protest but no words came out as I didn't know what to say. But then, I just repeated my previous words.

"I do not have feelings for him!"

Calum widened his eyes and grimaced slightly at my loud and harsh tone, before holding up his hands by his side in defense.

"Okay jeez, I'm sorry, I was mistaken. You don't have to be so defensive about it" he said and gave me a small glare which I returned.

I huffed in annoyance and turned around to splash my face with water once again, just wanting to turn back time and make sure not to tell Calum all this.

"You know," Calum said after a while of silence, making me still my movements, "I think this is a really bad idea. You and Ashton doing this, that is"

I clenched my jaw and ignored his words as I reached for a towel to dry my face with.

"I just- Okay, Luke, listen to me when I say that this is a really fucking shitty idea. Because you're doing this and soon the camp will be over and you'll both go completely separate ways. You will probably never see each other again. So if you now develop feelings-"

"I don't fucking have any-"

"I know Luke, just listen, okay?" he spoke and gave me a pointed look before continuing, "If any of you develope feelings, it will be really fucking shitty because you won't be able to do anything about it. There's no way you'll be able to keep in touch or meet up. I know that for a fact"

I looked at Calum through the mirror before shaking my head and walked out of the bathroom to walk over to my bed and threw myself down on it.

I heard Calum sigh behind me but I didn't move from my position.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone then I guess" Calum mumbled and walked over to the door and opened it, but stopped in the middle of the doorway and turned to look at me.

"Just know that even though I don't really stand behind you on this Ashton thing, I still support you in everything else" he said before walking out and closed the door.

I sighed loudly and closed my eyes shut in annoyance and frustration. I turned my head and looked at Ashton's bed from across my own and bit my bottom lip before crawling off of my bed and laid down on his.

I breathed out heavily and sighed before burying my face in Ashton's pillow and cursed myself for being so fucking stupid.

~

1k more words than usual because a lot had to fit

i hope you still like this story because i've been lacking that lately but i'm good

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