l u k e

With my hands hidden in the sleeves of my sweatshirt and my soccer shoes sloppily tied, I looked down at my feet as I walked down the field.

"Luke, wait up!" Michael called from behind me, making me stop and turn around to see him jog towards me. He smiled small as he reached my side, pursing his lips as he looked around the field with furrowed eyebrows.

"Do you know why Ashton isn't here?" he asked as he placed his eyes on me again. I bit the inside of my cheek and sighed quietly.

"Um yeah, he's talking to coach" I mumbled, biting my lip lightly when seeing Michael frown.

"Why? Is he okay? Is something wrong with him?" he rambled with worry laced in his voice. I cleared my throat and bit my lip harder.

"Yeah, he's okay," I said quickly and shrugged, "They just had some stuff to talk about, I think"

"During practice?" Michael asked and furrowed his eyebrows. I just shrugged and gave him a quick tight smile before continuing to walk again. I was stopped only a few feet away when Michael tugged me back again.

"You know something, don't you?" he asked and looked at me intensely, "I don't know what the hell is going on with you and Ash, but you two keep so many fucking secrets that I'm starting to feel like my own best friend is a stranger"

Guilt filled me as I watched Michael look at me with big green eyes. He looked worried, and who was I to not tell him what was going on with his best friend?

I took a deep breath and looked at him with apologizing eyes, "Okay, Ashton's talking to coach because-"

"Clifford and Hemmings, this is football practice, not a chat room. Move and keep your attention on the game" one of the coaches said. I sighed but turned to look at Michael again.

"Ashton-"

"Hemmings," the coach said again, gaining both Michael and I's attention, "I'm not gonna tell you again. Focus and play, now"

I heard Michael sigh from beside me before he started to jog up to the team to get the teams picked out for the next exercise.

"I'll tell you after, I promise" I said quickly as I jogged past Michael and got to the team. Michael gave me a glance and nodded his head before jogging to the other side of the group.

"We're working on strategies today-" coach started speaking, but I tuned him out as soon as I heard his voice.

All I thought about was what was happening with Ashton. When I left, coach didn't look very pleased and I hated to leave Ashton like that when it was basically my idea to make him talk.

I felt bad. Actually, I felt fucking awful for doing this shit. I had told Ashton to tell them because I was so sure that they would understand. I did, so why couldn't they? Just because someone has a disorder doesn't mean they're still not a good player and less than a worthy human being.

Ashton's gotten so many compliments for playing so professionally, and it would be so fucked up if everyone would just drop him because he's suddenly not like everyone else.

What stung even more was the fact that this was just what I hoped for in the beginning of the camp; that Ashton would go home so I could bask in all the glory myself. I just hoped Ashton understood that that wasn't the case anymore.

Now, I actually wanted him to stay.

"Hemmings, are you listening?" one of the coaches spoke, making me raise my eyebrows and looked at him with a slightly confused look.

"What?" I said in a hoarse voice, making me have to clear my throat, causing some of my teammates to chuckle.

The coach who had spoken look at me and shook his head before speaking to the whole team again. I sighed out quietly and bit my lip, trying to keep focus on what he was saying now.

"Okay! Red vests go to the right half of the field and blue vests goes left, you got it?"

Everyone nodded their head and some answered with a simple 'yes', before waiting for their vest and then walked off to their assigned half of the field.

Coach got closer to me and handed me a red vest. As he reached up to take it from him, he kept it in his hand and looked at me with almost sympathetic eyes.

"I know you're worried about Ashton, but don't let that affect your own playing. You have to stay at least a little bit selfish this close to the end of the camp" he said and handed me my vests before patting my shoulder and walked off to next player.

**

I held the ball close to my feet as I ran towards the goal. I dribbled past some players messily, I was lucky they were leaning on the wrong leg, otherwise it would've been easy to catch me.

I looked up and placed my eyes on the goal, watching the goalkeeper's position before looking down at the ball quickly and kicked it over to the goal.

I stopped and sighed, almost rolling my eyes, when seeing the ball fly almost 5 feet over the goal, not even near hitting the net. Some of the guys laughed at my lame attempt, I almost did as well since it was a pathetic attempt, and some groaned because I had such a good chance and blew it.

"You okay there, Luke?" Philip asked as he jogged up to my side and squeezed my shoulder assuringly.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I mumbled and Philip looked at me intently before nodding his head, disbelief shining through so clearly. I didn't bother to point that out.

"Okay then" he said and gave me a small smile before jogging away and turning his attention back to the game.

"Hemmings!" one of the coaches called from the side of the field and waved me over. I bit the inside of my cheek before slowly running over, not really knowing if this would be good or bad.

"I know, I'm trying to keep my focus but it's just-"

"It's not that, Luke," he said and chuckled softly, "Barrett wants to talk to you. You're free to go"

I frowned, both confused and nervous, but nodded and did as told. I took off my vest and handed it to him before walking away from the practice.

I turned around quickly and looked back, locking eyes with Michael who looked at me with confusion. I only shrugged to show him I was clueless, before I turned my head forward and walked over to coach's office quickly.

The faster I got there, the faster it would be over.

As I reached that familiar door into the office, I took a deep breath before knocking. I heard a faint 'come in' from inside before I opened the door and walked in.

I was met with an empty room, only coach sitting by his desk, no Ashton seen anywhere.

"Where's Ashton?" I asked as I slowly walked over to the chair and sat down across from coach.

"In your dorm, I'd suppose," he said and entwined his hands on top of the desk as he looked at me seriously, "I have to speak to you about Ashton, and I only want the truth"

"Okay?" I said but it came out as a question. I sat up in the chair and straightened my back before nodding for coach to continue.

"I talked to Ashton and I asked about you two, seeing you have a past of violence and hatred. I asked him about further violence during this camp that I haven't seen, and he told me about that as well. I want your answers now" he spoke, making me slowly and quite hesitantly nod my head.

"Did he ever use violence towards you more than I ever saw?" he asked and I bit the inside of my cheek as I tried to figure out what to say.

I didn't know what to tell him since I had no idea what Ashton had told him. If Ashton hadn't answered yes on this question and I did, maybe Ashton would have to go home. I didn't want that.

"No" I found myself answering. Coach kept his blank face towards me, not letting me know what he was thinking.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked and I dug my nails into my thigh as I felt the remorse bubbling up.

"No sir, I'm not" I mumbled and he nodded his head.

"Thought so," he said, making me look at him with slightly raised eyebrows, "Ashton told me all about what he had done and that you didn't do anything back. I don't know if I should believe that or not, but I chose to do that for now at least, because Ashton looked very truthful when telling me"

I raised my eyebrows fully now, surprised to hear that Ashton hadn't brought me down with him. He should have done that, I was the one who made him do all this shit.

"I just want to say that I appreciate seeing you and Ashton having each other's back. I enjoy seeing you being friends and I enjoy seeing you trying to help him out, but I'm afraid there's not much you can do Luke.

"Ashton mental illness won't be cured and the fact that he lied about it and put himself and others in serious danger won't turn better just because you try to keep him kept away" coach spoke and I slowly nodded my head, trying to make him get to his point.

"I just wanted to tell you that. I'll speak to Michael now and try to clear things up between him as well. I hope you understand what I'm saying and where I'm coming from. This is all to help Ashton" he spoke.

"Will Ashton have to go home?" I asked, not caring about what he said, this was the only answer I wanted.

"I don't know yet Luke, I'll have to speak with other people to get this decided. But keeping something so serious away from the academy is not something we appreciate" he said.

I scoffed quietly and nodded my head before standing up from my chair. "Have you ever thought about it from Ashton's perspective?" I asked, making coach furrow his eyebrows.

"I mean, I understand Ashton. This isn't really something you want to scream out to the world. You know how people react to these kind of stuff" I said and looked at coach with disappointed eyes, "You should know since you're reacting just like that"

Coach looked at me with a calm face as he looked down at his hands before looking up at me. "That's not the case Luke, and you know it. I know exactly what kind of person Ashton is"

"Then I don't see the point in sending him home"

"It's not about the disorders Luke, everyone here knows that" coach spoke.

"But the people outside don't, and when they find out that the camp sent home one of their best players and ruined his chances of playing professional soccer just because he had mental issues, makes this camp look really fucking shitty" I spoke before turning around, walked out of the office and slammed the door shut.

I'd probably get to go home now as well, but I didn't fucking care because I was so done with this place if Ashton was going home for something he couldn't control.

I walked down the empty hallway with irritated steps. The studs on my shoes hitting the floor made noises echo through the hallway, making me even more irritated than I was seconds ago.

As I reached Ashton and I's dorm, I ripped the door open and stepped inside, slamming it shut and locking it. I took off my muddy shoes before lifting my head and immediately stopped everything I did when seeing Ashton look at me while dropping a shirt into his big sport suitcase.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly. Suddenly all my irritation was gone.

"Packing" Ashton mumbled before looking down at the suitcase and dropped another piece of clothing inside of it. I frowned.

"No, don't do that, you're not going home" I said and slowly stepped into the room. Ashton scoffed.

"I can read between the lines, Luke, and coach wasn't really pleading to keep me here" he spoke before throwing a whole pile of clothes into the suitcase angrily.

"Stop, this is all fucked up, they can't send you home" I said before walking over to the suitcase and grabbed a handful of clothes and threw them away from the bag.

Ashton sighed and rolled his eyes before walking off and got the clothes and put them back in the bag. I shook my head and leaned down to get the clothes again, throwing them away like the last time.

"Luke" Ashton said and sent me a glare before picking them up again. As they reached the bag again, I leaned down and threw them away once again, making Ashton clench his jaw.

"Luke! Would you just fucking cut it ou-"

Before he had time to yell at me any more, I stepped forward and pressed my lips against his forcefully, shutting him up and kissing him hotly.

It took him a while before he kissed back, but then suddenly the kiss grew soft and slow. I reached my hands up to his hair and his hands found their place on my waist as I opened my mouth and let his tongue enter.

I moaned desperately into the kiss, making Ashton tighten his hold on my waist and press my body closer to his. The kiss grew hotter and more needy as I tugged at Ashton's hair and panted heavily.

"Don't fucking leave" I breathed out. Ashton didn't answer, he just kissed me harder, moving his hand up under my shirt and pulled away from the kiss to take it off. I reached for his shirt and did the same, taking it off quickly and threw it to the floor where my own shirt was lying.

I ran my hands over his chest as he forcefully grabbed my hips and pressed his crotch against mine, making me feel that he wanted me too. I moaned at the feeling before biting down on his bottom lip and tugged as I pulled away, making his lip snap back against his teeth.

Ashton looked at me with dark and clouded eyes, chest moving up and down quickly as a big bulge was showing in his sweats.

I slowly ran my hands down his chest to the waistband of his sweats and slid one hand under it, starting to palm him outside his boxers. Ashton tightened his hold on my hips and breathed heavily as I let my hand move up and down and squeeze him every now and then.

I slowly slipped my hand out and placed both my hands on the waistband, tugging both his sweats and boxers down as I fell down on my knees in front of him. Ashton's heavy breathing and his hands going up to my hair made my own dick twitch in my shorts, making me moan lowly.

I grabbed his exposed member with one hand before I inched my mouth closer and soon started to suck on the tip. Ashton gasped and let both his hands go up to my hair, holding on tightly.

I moaned quietly at the hair-tugging before lowering my my head down further, taking more and more of Ashton. As I had half of him in my mouth and my hand pumping the rest, I started bobbing my head up and down, earning a throaty moan from Ashton.

I swirled my tongue around the way I'd learned would get the most out of Ashton, as I tightened my lips around him and hollowed my cheeks, making my mouth harder and tighter around him.

"Fuck" Ashton breathed out and tightened his grip on my hair. I moaned around him and brought my free hand down to my shorts, sliding it inside them and my boxers before grabbing my own member and moved my hand up and down quickly.

I released the grip I had on him and pulled away from Ashton's member to look up at him with dark blue eyes.

"Move" I said in a hoarse voice as I placed my hand behind my back, making Ashton bite down on his bottom lip as he growled out a moan.

He gripped my hair harder and steered my mouth to his member before holding my head still and moved his hips back and forth slowly. I moved my tongue back and forth against Ashton's sensitive skin as he picked up his pace a bit, still making sure to not thrust too deep.

I hummed and moaned around him as he tugged my hair harder, making him let out yet another throaty moan. The hand I had around myself tightened its hold and moved even faster, making me moan as I felt myself growing closer. I think Ashton felt the same because his small and gentle thrusts grew sloppier each second.

"Fuck Luke," he breathed out before pulling me away from his member to make me look up at him, "Let me fuck you until I come"

I licked my lips and bit down on my bottom one before nodding my head and stood up. Ashton tugged down my shorts and boxers, making me step out of them before I reached down and took off my socks as he walked off to messily look for the bottle of lube and a condom.

I laid down on the bed and breathed heavily, stroking myself in impatience as Ashton was rummaging through his messy stuff. As he got the hold of the two things, he laid down on top of me, making both of us moan as out members touched.

Ashton quickly put on the condom and coated his fingers as he prepped me. The prep didn't last long since I was far too close already and way too impatient. Ashton was as well, so he quickly coated his cock in lube and entered me slowly, making both of us grunt and moan out in pure pleasure.

After a few gentle and slow thrusts, Ashton picked up the pace and I brought my hands to his back and dug my nails into his skin as he repeatedly hit my prostate.

We were already close to our highs, so the intense closeness we had right now was so raw that everything felt even more pleasurable.

"Ash" I breathed out in a moan, making Ashton lower his head down to moan into my neck before moving it up and placed his lips on mine.

The kiss was sloppy and wet, since our thrusts were rigid and fast. But it didn't matter because it was intense, and it made me dig my nails even deeper into his skin.

Ashton moaned hotly into the kiss, making me do the same. I panted heavily and quickly, almost feeling like I was going to pass out as Ashton's thrusts grew more and more pleasurable. Soon I came all over my chest with a throaty moan, my hips bucking up, as I clenched around Ashton.

That made it for him as well, because not only seconds later, he came into the condom and rode out both out highs before he pulled out gently and collapsed beside me on the bed.

"Holy fuck Luke" Ashton panted out just by my ear, making me shiver at the hot breath against my sweaty skin. I moved my head to the side and chuckled lowly at his exhausted face before leaning in to kiss him.

I pulled away and placed my head on my pillow as breathed out heavily to be able to catch my breath. I closed my eyes as Ashton ran a hand through my sweaty hair and I breathed out in content as his long fingers twirled a few strands.

"If this was your way of saying goodbye, I very much enjoyed it" he said and chuckled lightly. I didn't laugh though, I just looked at his with apologizing eyes.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fucking fault. I had no right to push you into doing this" I said but Ashton shook his head.

"It's not your fault that I am who I am" he said and shrugged before leaning down to kiss me again, this time softly. He pulled away and placed his head down on the pillow as silence spread around us.

"This wasn't my way of saying goodbye though" I mumbled, making Ashton turn to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah? What was it then?" he asked.

"It was my way of telling you that you're not going anywhere"

~

when people call you queen of smut and you wonder if you should take the compliment with a smirk or if you should ship yourself off to a bible camp

i've been listening to pure grinding all day today. i'm feeling fly as fucK

vote and comment

ily