l u k e

"Dude, what is that on your neck?" Niall asked me as we were walking to the field for our first practice.

"Nothing" I mumbled and put my hand over it to cover it. Calum raised his eyebrows and looked at me then at Niall.

"What? What's on your neck?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing" I repeated.

"Yeah, it looked like a bruise" Niall said and I gritted my teeth.

"You got a hickey? Who gave you that?" Calum said and furrowed his eyebrows.

"No it's not a fucking hickey, it's just a regular bruise" I spoke.

"How do you get a bruise on your neck if it's not a hickey?" Niall asked.

"I don't fucking know, okay? Just leave it, please" I pleaded, making both boys look at me before nodding and letting it go. At least Niall did, Calum still looked at me worriedly.

"Niall you can go ahead, I need to talk to Luke but we'll meet you there" Calum said and I quietly groaned.

"Make it quick though, coach is starting it soon" Niall said before jogging up to some guys walking ahead of us.

I sighed as Calum turned to look at me but I avoided his eyes. "Luke, let me see your neck" he spoke quietly but I shook my head.

"Come on, don't be like this" Calum said before gripping my hand and ripping it away from my neck. He studied my neck and frowned before leaning back to look me in the eyes.

"What the hell did you do? This is a real bruise" Calum said, staring me down.

I sighed and shrugged, making him groan out in annoyance.

"It's a hand mark, did Ashton do this?" Calum whispered and I stiffened.

"Don't worry about it" I answered and tried to keep walking towards the fields again but Calum stopped me.

"Why do you mean 'don't worry about it'? You have a fucking hand mark on your throat! Did he try to choke you?"

"No, just drop it okay? Don't talk about it, it makes everything worse"

"You need to tell coach to get him sent home" Calum said in a determined voice and started walking away but this time it was me who stopped him.

"No! What the fuck is it you don't understand?! Don't fucking talk about this with anyone!" I whispered harshly.

"Why?!" Calum asked and looked with confusion into his eyes.

"Drop it Calum" I sighed.

"I'm just worried about you Luke. He could have killed you if he pressed any harder! You can't live with a person like that!"

"Calum, please. I trigged him into do it, if he goes I'll go as well, so please keep quiet. He and I have no contact whatsoever now, so don't worry" I whispered and looked at him sincerely.

Calum took in my serious face before sighing and nodding slowly. "If he ever does anything like this again, don't you dare try to keep it away from me"

I nodded and Calum gave me a tight smile before we walked off to the practice that was starting any second now.

"Okay, boys! Today's practice involves techniques and physics. Warm-up is held all together but after, goalies will go with Andres and the rest of you will stick with me and Paul, okay?"

With just a clap with his hands, coach made us run some simple obstacle course, getting our body warmed up.

I felt Calum's eyes on me and I could see him send Ashton dirty looks as well. I was afraid that Ashton would notice and understand that I had told Calum what happened even though he strictly said I couldn't.

I shouldn't be scared of Ashton, he was someone I had hated for so long but I had never been scared or respected him in that way. What he did yesterday was so uncalled for and it did scare the hell out of me. I wouldn't let him know that though.

Practice went by and coach didn't joke when he said it would be hard. I was exhausted by the end of he physics pass but I felt good. The technique pass went even better and I wasn't taking it easy on the other guys.

They were good though, the other guys, but I felt no real threat yet and that made my self esteem grow.

"We'll play a game the last 20 minutes. We'll put you in four different teams and after 10 minutes, we switch so we get to play two games each" coach announced and threw me a yellow vest.

I put it on and walked over to my team. Philip was there and I patted him on his back as I got closer. I didn't have any time to start a conversation before Ashton walked over, putting on a yellow vest as well.

I sighed and rolled my eyes before turning my head to ignore him. He didn't say anything either so I didn't need to worry.

Our team played against Michael's and Niall's first. As fast as the game started I was in winning mode right away.

No goals were made the first 7 minutes through the game and I was starting to get frustrated.

I walked the left side and turned to look Ashton hold the ball. I turned my head forward to see I had a free street and could make it to the goal. I thought about it before shouting at Ashton.

"Irwin, I'm free!" I said and showed with my hands where I wanted the ball. Ashton looked at me before turning his head again, throwing the ball to the other side where Adam took the ball but lost it right after as that side was crowded.

I frowned and groaned before shaking my head. For Ashton to drag out our hate over the game was idiotic as it made not only me, but him to look bad.

"Irwin!" I yelled and Ashton turned with a clenched jaw. He cocked his head to the side to dare me to talk.

"Look up next time, I was free!" I said and threw my hands up, showing him my frustration.

"I'd rather give the ball to a skilled player than someone who's free" he said back, not loudly but enough for me to hear.

I gritted my teeth and gave him the finger before turning around to face the game again.

The game ended 0-0 and I was mad because it was all Ashton's fault. I walked over to the other field as we were now supposed to meet the red team that contained no people I knew yet.

"Come on Ash, you start the game" the goalkeeper from the other goal said and Ashton gave him thumbs up.

I turned my back against Ashton to focus on the other team when I got hit by the ball hard in my back. I turned and looked at a smirking Ashton.

"Come on Hemmings, keep your focus on the game!" Ashton yelled and clapped his hands, making some of the guys laugh. I bit the insides on my cheek in anger and soon I felt the taste of blood.

"It's okay Luke, let's just play" Philip said as he ran up to my side. I nodded and Philip smiled. He patted my shoulder before running off again.

I ignored Ashton the most I could during the last game and it went by fine. I would never get the ball from him and neither would he get it from me, which irritated some of the guys in the team a bit, but they knew not to push it.

Ever since the fight Ashton and I had the first day, people had known exactly me and Ashton's situation. I don't know if it was Michael or Calum who told everyone, or if it was coach, but I didn't care.

I mean, there's no way to change how the situation is right now but I was annoyed by the way the guys looked at me and Ashton, almost waiting for us to fight again.

"That's it guys! Stretch before going back and showering" coach said and blew a whistle.

I lazily sat down on the ground and stretched my leg and coach came up, looking down at me.

"How was it feeling today, Luke?" he asked and crouched down to look me in the eyes.

"Felt good sir" I said, smiling small.

"It looked good so keep playing this way, okay?" he said, patting my shoulder.

"Thanks sir" I smiled and got back to stretching.

**

"What's this?" Ashton rudely asked me as he got out from his shower. He had gone showering first because it was 'his side' and I didn't dare to cross him this time.

"Medical papers" I mumbled and kept reading through it. I had no actual severe medical issues to let the coaches know about. I did have a few problems with my back in the past so I wrote down a quick note about that before putting down the pen and paper.

I looked up to see Ashton sit on his bed with the paper in his hand. He watched it intently before he crumpled it up in his hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked and furrowed my eyebrows. Ashton looked up and glared at me.

"Nothing you have to care about" he said before standing up from his bed to walk over to his bag and put on a sweater.

"Why aren't you writing down your medical issues, they need to know about that stuff. Especially something like yours" I said and Ashton quickly turned around to look at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked and cocked his head to the side. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"That you need to stop fucking hiding and tell them about your condition. Your future is depending on it"

"Nobody knows about it but my family, Michael and unfortunately you" he seethed and glared at me, "Nobody else will know about it, you hear me Barbie?"

"Whatever, it's just a fucking idiotic move but if that means I never have to see you while I play professional, it's totally fine by me" I scoffed. Ashton snorted and walked over to me.

"I thought I made myself clear yesterday about how I felt about all this. Don't go making fun of me now"

"I'm not making fun of you" I chuckled without humor, "I'm just telling you the simple truth"

"I'm not afraid of breaking your neck Hemmings, you are getting on my nerves"

"You need to chill the fuck down, Irwin. I could have outed you easily with the fucking big ass bruise you left on my neck last night when you tried to suffocate me to death" I spat.

"The fuck are you talking about?" he asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you serious?" I laughed and shook my head, "Fucking idiot" I mumbled before standing up from my bed. Ashton grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"What are you talking about?" he asked and his voice was small, surprising me fully.

"What do you mean 'what am I talking about'?" I asked and furrowed my eyebrows.

"I mean exactly what I said" he shot back, making me scoff.

"You fucking took a one hand grip on my throat and almost chocked me and now I have a big ass bruise, that's exactly what I told you before" I said and rolled my eyes.

Ashton's grip around my wrist tightened and I grimaced before looking him in his eyes.

"Show me" he whispered and I frowned.

"What?" I scoffed.

"Show me your neck. Now" he ordered and I chuckled and shook my head.

"No, you made it and you know it's there. I don't have to fucking show it so you can be all cocky and make fun of me" I said and backed away put Ashton pulled me back so I was pressed against him.

He quickly pulled down the collar of my soccer sweatshirt. He looked at my neck and frowned.

"Fuck" he sighed and I held my breath through it all.

"Can you take this off?" he asked and looked up at me with pleading eyes and I was so confused. When I didn't answer he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Please, Luke" That was the first time I had heard him say Luke and as my name came out of his mouth so softly, all I could do was nod and take my sweatshirt off so I was only in my t-shirt.

As I dropped it to the floor Ashton looked at my bruised neck. He stepped closer and I gasped quietly as I felt Ashton brush his fingertips against my skin.

I felt shivers go down my spine and I bit my lip to stay quiet. I was mad that I felt this way because it did not match up at all. I was confused and I could barely breathe as I felt Ashton's breath on my neck.

"Fuck, I didn't know it was this bad" he whispered and brushed his thumb over it. I flinched a bit and Ashton quickly placed his hand on my waist.

"I won't hurt you" he said softly and I closed my eyes at the comfortable yet so uncomfortable situation.

"I don't even remember doing this" he sighed and kept caressing my hurt throat. I kept my eyes shut and squirmed a bit in his hold.

"What are you doing Ashton?" I whispered and cursed myself for talking so shakily.

"I don't fucking know" he said before squeezing my hip and bringing me even closer, making us pressed up chest by chest. I breathed deeply, conflicted on what the fuck to do.

"This isn't good, this isn't good at all" I mumbled before feeling Ashton's nose brush the crook of my neck.

I bit my lip and clenched my fist in a way of holding myself back. I had no idea what was happening and I was scared but I was more scared about the comfort I felt right now.

Ashton placed his lips on my shoulder and I sighed out, gritting my teeth together.

"Have you taken your medication?" I whispered as Ashton placed his lips on the crook of my neck.

"No" Ashton mumbled and I closed my eyes shut, cursing myself out.

"I should go take a shower and you should go take your medication, okay?" I asked in a shaky voice.

Ashton shook his head and I whined when Ashton's hand that was previously on my waist traveled down to my hardening cock.

"Ash, don't. You will regret it" I mumbled.

"You want it though, right Barbie?" he murmured against my skin.

I wanted to scream out 'yes I fucking do' but I didn't. I knew it would start even more shit between me and Ash and I didn't want it. I hated this fucking guy and if I couldn't even stand up to some sexual attention, I was too weak.

I stepped away from Ashton and shook my head. "I'm gonna- I'll just go shower now" I said before walking off, over to Ashton's side, and into the bathroom.

I closed the door and stood pressed against it, breathing loudly.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.

My breath was shaky and my mind was messy. I wanted it, I did and I was fucking beating myself up in my mind for being so stupid.

I knew Ashton wasn't thinking straight as he wasn't on his medication. I knew he'd probably not remember it and if he actually would remember it, he'd ignore it.

I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do that.

~

I'm sad bc boy meets boy is over soon and I'm writing the epilogue and it's cute af

QUESTION!!

if I posted a malum story, would y'all read it??

oh and I think I'm starting EGL and erotic soon :)))

vote and comment pls, bye ily