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roommate wars
01 | new beginnings

Do you ever have those times when things are going pretty well for you and then they just crumble right in front of you?

Like maybe you wanted to write a song and you knew all the words but just couldn't sing it, or how about when you get your life back on the tracks and than your train goes flying off the rails... again.

Yeah I'm having one of those moments right now. It's just past seven at night when I'm rushing around my room like a headless chook, throwing items everywhere as I try to stop the tears from running down my face.

I hear my door being flung open and I look up briefly through my tear soaked eyes.

"Jacquelyne?"

"What?" I yell back as I angrily stuff some of my clothes into an old dark red duffle bag that's sitting on top of the single bed.

"What are you doing?" My twin brother, Milo, asks as he rushes into the room closing the door behind him.

"I'm packing my bag, can't you tell?" I sob, stopping to brush the tears roughly away.

"But why are you doing that? I thought you'd be happy I made it back for the weekend?" he asks me growing more confused by the second.

"I am happy you made it back," I tell him truthfully. I've missed my brother ever since he first left to go and enjoy college at one of the fanciest schools here in Paris two months ago, it's the first time we've ever truly been apart.

"Then what is troubling you ma sœeur?" (my sister-).

"It's mother..." I trail off, my eyes moving to look out my little window. I hear Milo sigh as he comes towards me, using a gently hand to bring me over to my bed. We sit.

"I thought things were getting better? You spoke happily when we called during the last few weeks."

I shake my head, looking down at my overlapping hands.

"I lied. I didn't want to cause you any problems, you are so happy at college making new friends and-"

My brother stops me by grabbing my small hands in his.

"You're my sister Jacquelyne, I don't care if you bother me in the middle of lecture or if I'm out partying with friends... I will always be there for you. Now tell me what's been going on?"

The next half an hour I fill my brother in on everything that's happened since he left, all the arguments between my mother and I and how I feel more lonely and lost than ever.

"- And she even threatened to kick me out if I don't get my act together and start acting like... well her so I told her the truth, that I don't want to be like her and that resulted in another all out screaming battle." 

"You always have been the hot tempered and stubborn one between us," my brother attempts as a joke but I don't smile.

"She's even trying to set me up to marry this guy I don't even know Milo.." I sigh upset as I feel the fight start to leave my body. "I'm only eighteen for christ sake, I want an adventure not to live my life popping babies out and turning into a slave."

"Oh come here," Milo motions moving forwards to wrap his arms tightly around my small frame as the tears start falling, I couldn't keep them in any longer. "Things are going to get better Jacquelyne, you just have to be a little more patient."

"I miss father..." I sob into my brothers shirt, smearing my non-waterproof mascara all over it but he doesn't seem to mind as he gently brushes my hair away from my face just like our father did. "He accepted me for being different, so why can't mother?"

"She can't accept it because you and her are more alike than you may think, although she'd never admit it." I lift my head to look up at him, sniffling.

"Mother and I aren't anything alike Milo, she's always loved you more... I was always just the spoiled trouble maker."

"That's not true," my brother shakes his head as he lets me go, pulling away. "You've always been the caring, fearless and stubborn headed young girl who used to steal cookies from the oven when I was sick because I was too scared to do it myself if I got caught."

"Yeah and look where that got me, I spent most of my childhood locked up in my room."

After our father died and we grew older, my mother and I fought more and more constantly. Everything I did was never enough for her and it had been up to my brother to make the peace, but after he went to college.. the peace was long broken.

My brother rolls his eyes at me before continuing.

"What I'm trying to say is that you, Jacquelyne, have never been a spoiled trouble maker or a bad egg. You've always been the best sister I could've asked for, yes trouble does seem to find you sometimes but I lo-"

"Milo, are you home love?"

My brother and I look at one another but I slowly drop my head to look down at my lap instead.

"But I lov-"

"I brought your favourite pizza with me, you better come and get some!" Mother calls out again from downstairs. "And you can tell me all about your college experience while we eat, have you met any special young ladies?" 

My brother brings his hands up to his face, cursing under his breath.

"What I was trying to say is that I love you sis," Milo tells me after a minute. "And so does mother, although she has a funny way of showing it - yes I know." He adds as I go to open my mouth.

"I love you too..." I say back, giving him a small smile as he gets up and heads towards the door. He turns back to face me as he steps out into the hall.

"Once I'm finished downstairs with mother I'll come back up and we'll figure something out okay, I promise."

"Okay..." I mumble and with that he goes out, closing the door behind him. I wait until I hear him begin walking down the stairs then I get up off the bed and grab my duffle bag, zipping it up and throwing it over my shoulder.

I walk over to my window and unlock it, lifting it up as quickly and quietly as I can. I first throw the bag out onto the roof, before following it out without a backwards look.

Twenty minutes later and I'm standing under one of the bus shelters in the middle of Paris, the rain bouncing off the tin roof above.

"N'êtes-vous pas froid chéri?" (Aren't you cold dearie?) an older gentleman asks me wearing a warm looking red coat.

"Non. J'aime la pluie et le froid." (No. I like the rain and cold).

"Ah c'est une belle nuit ce soir, tu ne crois pas?" (Ah it's a beautiful night tonight, don't you think?) the man asks, gesturing to the dark blue sky above us and all the little stars.

"Oui et non." (Yes and no.) I tell him, swinging my bag back over my shoulder as I see a bus round the corner. I know I'm not exactly being polite but I'm just tired and not in the mood to deal with people right now.

The bus pulls up along side the two of us, opening the doors wide and welcoming us in. I let the gentlemen go on ahead of me as I look up at the stars waiting for him.

I know deep down as soon as my mother realises I'm no longer there she'll be happy, happy to have her amazing son who can't do anything wrong in her eyes all to herself.

"Où sera-t-il cet amour ce soir?" (Where shall it be tonight love?) The middle aged man asks me, smiling warmly as I hop on.

I know once my brother finds out I've left and taken a bus out of the city, he's going to kill me but before he does that... I want to experience the world for myself and figure out where I belong.

"Un billet pour l'aéroport grâce." (One ticket to the airport please).

And I know that it's not here in Paris with my mother.

"Ooh excitant! Où envisagez-vous d'aller?" (Ooh exciting! Where are you planning to go?).

I tell him the first place that pops into my head, the one place that I know I won't be entirely alone.

"Amérique." (America).

If only I knew what I was in for when saying that.

§

"Jacquelyne, oh my gosh! Hey! How are you?"

"Hii Co-Co, have you missed me?" I ask my best friend of three years as I wait for my plane to start boarding.

"It's been like... Forever!" She sighs dramatically.

It's only been six months since she left me to move in with her older sister in New York.

"Six months isn't forever you goose!" I tell her laughing. "I need to ask you something really important though."

"Shoot sweets?"

"Is there any room at your place for an ol friend?" I ask her hopeful.

If not I am royalty screwed, I barely had enough money saved up to pay for this flight.

I pull my phone away from ear as I hear my best friend scream into the phone for a full minute.

"You're coming to America?" she asks me excitedly. I can imagine her jumping up and down with one of her most famous smiles that I miss, on her face.

"Yeah but I need a place to stay on short notice..." I mumble just as they call for my flight over the loud speakers.

"How short are we talking here girl?" she asks, laughing.

I gulp.

"Just uh, fifteen hours?"

"Fifteen hours!? Are you kidding me?" she all but yells at me.

"Um no..." I say grabbing my ruffle bag as I go to stand in line. "I have to go in a second, I'm about to board."

"Well I might have someplace for you," she trails off thinking. "I'll send you an address as soon as I check it out with my sister."

"Okay, thank you so much Co-Co!" I thank her just as the lady checking the tickets and passport looks across at me sternly. "Shit! Gotta go boo, I'll ring you later."

I hang up on my friend and turn my phone off, giving the lady my best innocent look.

"Désolé à ce sujet, c' était un appel téléphonique important," (Sorry about that, it was an important phone call) I shrug.

"Et ainsi éteint votre téléphone avant les portes," (And so is turning your phone off before the gates) she glares at me as she checks my information out.

"Calm your tits woman..." I mumble under my breath in English as she waves me through with a groan.

"Appréciez votre vol!" (Enjoy your flight!) She calls out to me with fake cheeriness.

I give her the finger and smile as she full on glares at me as I walk down the hallway to the plane.