The guards straighten up as you approach, a cigarette hung from the corner of your mouth.

"Ollo, me name is 'Elga, I am here to clean ze house," You tell them, feigning a heavy Russian accent. They exchange looks, but let you pass. You get to the door and turn around, taking out your silenced pistols. "Just kidding," You chime before shooting them.

You walk in the building, feeling a smirk form on your lips as you marched through the halls.

"Hey you!" Someone calls, making you look over to see a group approaching.

"No smoking," The lead says. You frown a bit,

"No deal," You huff, shooting him in the head. The group leaps back and you unstrap an AK47, unloading the clip into the group.

I felt the fight

Take the spit

Suck the poison out

The song left your lips as you continued down the hall. More guards were appearing, guns blazing at sight of you. Remembering where they all stood, you ready your guns, before calmly stepping into the intersecting halls. The sound of gunfire resonates through the building.

If you keep up the shit

Take the hit

Dig the grave

This is how it goes down

This is how it goes down

You knew you were getting close. Taking off the mop heads, you unsheath the katanas and dive into another hall, deflecting the bullets and slashing the guards into ribbon. One attempts to run but you pierce the wall on either side of his throat.

"Yo, take me to where your boss and Deadpool is," You tell him.

"Y-yes ma'am," He squeaks. You pull away, leading him lead the way.
He stops in a hallway, and points toward a door.

"They're in there," He tells you.

"Go open the door," You say, giving him a kick in the rear. "And start running once you open it," You add. He does so, you toss a grenade through the open door as soon as he takes off running. The explosion shakes the hall and you stroll in through the smoke.

"Babe? Is that you?" Deadpool questions. You look over to see him in some sort of metallic restraint. You ignore his question, flipping to the side as someone slashes at you.

"I never imagined someone would come to rescue the mouthy little merc," The large pale man comments.

"He is the only merc with a mouth," You reply with a shrug. As you spoke, your eyes were examining the restraints, trying to find the switch that would unlock them.

"So the deal earlier-"

"Was just to make sure you had the money ready for me when I came," You finish for him, backing into a control table. Deadpool's head lifts slightly, telling you you were near the switch.

"Clever girl, too bad your gonna die before you make it out of here," The pale man snarls. You smirk, and press a button. The restraints release Deadpool and you flip out of the way as the man lunges.

"I believe these are yours," You say, tossing Deadpool his katanas.

"You're the best Babe! Now, lets cut off that head of yours Double Zero!" He replies, catching the katanas and lunging at the pale man.

"Bet you wish your roommate was fine like mine~ Bet you wish your roommate was a badass like mine~" He sings as he clashes blades with Double Zero.
While he fights, you look in to a briefcase near the control panel and smile.

"Ten grand," You chuckle, closing it and standing. You turn to watch Deadpool finish off Double Zero. What a stupid name. Deadpool turns to you, a smile evident on his face.

"Aw! You even dressed up for me!?" He says cheerfully.

"You owe me Wade," You tell him, handing him the briefcase.

"So does this mean you're not making tacos tonight?" He guesses.

"Not tonight," You agree.

"You know, I thought it would take a lot more to get you into that," He comments.

"You don't think the blood ruined it?" You ask.

"No... Actually, it makes you look even hotter," He replies. You smirk,

"I knew you'd get a kick out of it," You chuckle.

"You're full of surprises Babe," He comments.

"Also, I left Spiderman at the apartment to play with Princess Spidey," You tell him. He pauses,

"How did-"

"He showed up after I got off the phone with Double Loser, and I wasn't going to pass up the chance to make Spiderman do me a favor," You chuckle.
He laughs, holding his stomach.

"You're something else Babe," He laugh. You smirk and wrap an arm around his neck, pulling him down to your level.

"So, I know this nice Mexican restaurant, with some cute waitresses you might like," You offer.

"Is this a... Date?" He inquires curiously. You pause,

"What? I'm hungry," You tell him.

"You're finally coming around!" He cheers, picking you up.

"Careful Wade, I'm still packing," You tell him, pulling up your goggles to sit on top of your head. He chuckles and sets you down.

"So, Mexican?" He says.

"Yep," You decide.

"By the way, were you always a smoker?" He asks.

"I think it's an Alter Ego thing," You tell him, getting rid of the cigarette.

"Still very sexy," He comments. You shake your head,

"Do you think Princess Spidey will like fajita chicken?" You inquire, shrugging off his comment.

"I'm starting to think you change the subject to keep from smiling," He says.

"I think she will," You answer yourself.

".... Now your ignoring me..." He mutters, following after you.

"You're back! And you brought Mexican food," Spiderman huffs as you and Deadpool come in.

"Thanks Spiderman, you're such a sweet heart," You tell him, taking Princess Spidey from him and giving him a swift kiss on the cheek. He shifts, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Its no problem... See you around," He says, before going out the window.

"Bye!" You call, waving after him.

"Why does he get a kiss?" Wade grumbles.

"It was only the cheek Wade," You tell him.
He mutters something and goes into his room. You and Princess Spidey look at eachother. She lets out a meow, and you drop your head onto the back of the couch. 'Dammit,' You think, straightening up and picking up the kitten.

"Wade... Princess Spidey missed you," You say to the door. Princess Spidey mews in agreement. You hear him grumble something.

"Come on Wade, Princess Spidey wants to see Daddy," You tell him. You were mentally kicking yourself. The door cracks open and the side of his mask appears.

"Repeat that," He says.

"Princess Spidey wants to see Daddy," You repeat, not looking at him. He chuckles and takes Princess Spidey from your grasp.

"Aw... That's cute," He chuckles.

"Pain in the ass," You mutter.

"Hm? What was that?" He inquires. With a slight huff, you give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Youre a pain in the ass," You tell him, turning away and grabbing some clothes.

"Because I guilted you into giving me a kiss on the cheek?" He chuckles.
You turn to him, taking out your pistol and shooting him in the foot. He lets out a yelp.

"You know.... I don't like when someone puts me on a guilt trip," You tell him.

"It was worth it~" He sings.

"I'm taking a shower before I kick you out the window," You sigh. His insistent humming made your eye twitch,

"Wade," You begin.

"Yes babe?" He asks, looking over at you from playing with Princess Spidey. It was cute, and you couldn't stay annoyed.

"Nevermind," You mutter. He tilts his head,

"Princess Spidey, I think mommy's mad," He whispers to the kitten. You turn away, hiding the slight blush that came to your cheeks.

"You're so weird..." You grumble.
You hear him shuffle over to the couch, and Princess Spidey enters your field of vision.

"Mommy~ Princess Spidey wants to see you~" He cooes, lowering the kitten into your lap.

"I'll kick your ass later," You tell him, petting the kitten. He sits on the couch beside you.

"In the bedroom?" He asks. You shoot him a look.

"Just kidding," He adds swiftly. You smirk and lean on him,

"That's too bad," You breath. He freezes,

"What?" He says.

"Just kidding~" You mock. You look over at him, you could see him pouting under the mask at you.

"What? You started it?" You scoff.

"You're so mean to me," He mutters.

"Oh, I could be a lot meaner Mr.Wilson," You murmur.

"Did I mention you're the best roommate ever?" He asks hastily. You place Princess Spidey on his chest, and kiss his cheek a few times, making him chuckle.

"What's this all of a sudden? You feeling okay?" He asks.

"You really gonna waste this dream asking questions?" You murmur huskily, hand trailing over his member.

"Point taken," He breathes, taking off his mask and kissing you heavily.

"I've been wanting to do this the moment we met," He whispers, cupping your breasts.

"And why didn't you?" You ask, straddling him.

"You'd shoot me of course," He murmurs.

"I'm a sadist Wade, I wouldn't hurt you if I didn't want you.... Now, lets take this to your room...."

You wake with a jolt, looking around in alarm. You were on the couch, sweating slightly, and beat red. Princess Spidey mews beside you.

"Sorry if I startled you," You breath, standing up. You go to the kitchen and grabbing a beer before sitting on the floor and taking a large gulp, telling yourself to calm down. Princess Spidey comes in and sits beside you, tilting her head and looking up at you. "Im going crazy Princess," You mutter to the cat.
Wade comes out of his room, making a beeline for the kitchen. You get a beer out of the fridge and hold it up for him.

"How'd you guess?" He asks, taking it. You hold up yours pointedly. He sits on the floor across from you.

"Bad dream?" He questions. You give him a look,

"I really don't want to talk about it," You tell him before taking another drink.

"What about you?" You add.

"It was a really good dream... Until you shot me somewhere I never want to be shot," He admits.
Reaching over, you give him a pat on the shoulder.

"I'll never do that to you," You tell him.

"That makes me feel better," He says.

"Good... I'm going to start looking for a new apartment tomorrow, so I won't be here much longer," You murmur. He straightens up,

"Are you still mad about earlier?" He inquires.

"No, it's jus-"

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks.

"No you didn't... I just..." You trail off, shaking your head.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks softly, touching your shoulder.

You hug his neck suddenly, surprising him. You lean into him, relishing his warmth. He hugs you back after a bit.

"If this is another dream I'm going to be mad," He comments. You press your cheek to his.

"Well, I gotta go," You say, swiftly pulling away.

"Go where?" He asks.

"I'm gonna hang out with a friend, see you later," You tell him before going out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, you are in lo-"

"Don't say that cursed word Peter!" You say quickly. He frowns,

"You can't keep blaming yourself for your exs' deaths," He tells you.

"Watch me," You huff, folding your arms.

"Alright fine, keep telling yourself that... Besides, from what I've heard, Deadpool is impossible to kill," He points out.

"I know but..." You trail off, running a hand through your hair.

"___, at least give the guy a chance," He tells you.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," You sigh.

"Go get him then," He chuckles, lightly pushing you toward the apartment.

"Yeah yeah," You huff.
The apartment door was cracked open a bit.

"Wade?" You call, stepping inside. Princess Spidey rushes over to you, mewing loudly.

"What's wrong Princess? Where's Daddy?" You ask. Feeling uneasy, you look around and spot a large red X on the door. You freeze, "X Charlie," You breath. You grab your cell phone and call Peter.

"Hello?"

"Hey Peter, I need you to come watch over the apartment for me,"

"What's going on?"

"Some one kidnapped my roommate,"

"... I'm on my way,"

With that, you hang up and go into Wade's room, grabbing a back pack full of C4. You set it on the couch, grabbing the key for your storage unit. A knock comes on the door and you open it.

"You were kidding about the roommate kidnapping, right?" He asks.

"Wouldn't be the first time.... This is Princess Spidey, take care of her while I'm gone and away from the Rabid Hamsters," You tell him, grabbing the backpack of C4 and heading out.

Once out of the apartment you call an old friend.

"Hey, it's me... He's at it again. Think you can help me out?" You ask when they answer. You smile comes to your lips,

"Thanks, we'll meet where we split up last time in an hour," You tell them. You soon hang up and head for the storage building.