45. The past is killing me
|Jungkook's perspective|
"Tell me, Jungkook. Please, tell me everything." Taehyung asks me and touch my hands, while I look at the floor.
Maybe is the time to talk with someone about all the things that made me so insecure and isolated. Maybe is the time to talk about them.
"I... I have a big brother, Woojin. He is everything that my parents love. He is workaholic, serious, diligent, handsome, but in the top of all... he is straight. And I am... Well, I am gay. They have to be here tomorrow because... They want to write the entire company on Woojin's name, so I have to sign some papers." I finish my first idea, and he looks at me with something in the eyes, that I love can not describe.
"Jungkook... They talked bad with you because you don't like the girls?" he asks and I gulp hardly.
Yeah... It would be ok if they just 'talked bad' with me. But is much more than just this.
"Since six grade, when I discovered my sexuality, mom and dad started to... act with me like a animal. They hit me, said to me harsh words, kept me hungry. They made me to hate myself little by little." I say and I feel Taehyung's arms around my waist.
"My love, I'm so sorry." he whispers and I smile.
"It's non of your fault, Tae. I'm not the only one with such parents, unfortunately."
"You said that... you tried to kill yourself because of them. Why?"
"I was in my eleven grade. I came from school already with a lot of bruises. Let's just say... I wasn't so popular at school either. I was jus a freak and a gay for them, not a student with A in row." I reply and I try to not look into Taehyung's eyes. "Then my parents told me to prepare myself, I had to go somewhere. I didn't knew, but after an half of hour, I found out they signed for me to take some medicines. Some... Really dangerous medicines."
I stop when I notice I started already to tremble. It's happening all the time.
"Calm down, my love. We can talk another time about the rest, ok?" I hear my boyfriend but I take a deep breath.
I will not be able to talk about this another time.
"No, is... Is ok." I assure him then I straight my voice. "They forced me to take three pills in a day. The pills was supposed to stop my 'weird thoughts' about my sexuality. But believe me, a pill made me to feel a lot of pain, like a knife started to play in my stomach. I used to cry everyday, harder and harder. Everything became more and more painful." I say in a horse voice, because I start to cry again. "So I... I tried to take five pills in a row. I passed out instantly, and I... I really hoped I died. Because I wasn't ready to face the same pain again. My parents didn't want me, my brother didn't knew anything about what's happening in my life. All the people used to abuse me, like I was a fucking animal, or a toy for them. But I wasn't that lucky. I survived. My brother... Found me on the floor, and called at the ambulance. My parents weren't home, but when they arrived to see me at the hospital, you know what they said?" I ask Taehyung with my vision blurry because of the tears.
He looks like is on the edge of crying too.
"What they said?" I hear his deep and now sad tone, and I smile through the tears— something that I used to do a lot in the past.
"You should have died."
×××
|Taehyung's perspective|
"Where is Jungkook? He skip the classes today?" Jimin asks me and I nod hesitant.
"I will skip the classes too. Jungkook doesn't feel alright, so I want to take care of him." I whisper, trying to not wake up my boyfriend.
"I'm glad you two are fine now. Then we will see tomorrow, take care of Kookie." he says then hangs up the phone.
I take a deep breath, then I take some steps closer to Jungkook. I knell in front of his bed, looking at his beautiful features. He is way too beautiful and inocent for this awful word.
When he told me his past... I couldn't even imagine how a parent can be in that way. Just how?
Even if I lost my mother at a early age, my dad was there, with me. He helped me all the times, and I can swear. If I will come out with my sexuality to him, he will not be angry or disappointed. Maybe a little surprised, but he will support me as always. Because he is my father, and he loves me truly.
But Jungkook's parents...
"You should have died."
They really said that? How they could? To Jungkook? To their own son? They have even a heart?
After I found out about his past, I really understood why the bunny boy was so isolated when I met him at the beginning. Why he looked so scared when someone tried to talk with him, or why he tried to keep himself at the distance. I understood why he said back then 'Just die Jeon, they way everyone wants."
His parents forced him to take some dangerous medicines. Why? To stop his sexuality? Why on Earth was wrong with them? How they could do this?
Not even in a million of years I could tell Jungkook suffered so much.
An angel with his wings broken. Those bad people broke his wings.
But I will not let anyone else to do this again. I will protect him from on. I will make sure to feel how is to be loved, to be understand.
I will make sure that his parents or anyone else, will not hurt him again.
"Everything will be ok, my love." I whisper then I kiss his forehead, smiling a little.
I will make things right for you, my love.
______
Hello angels! New chapter, kinds boring but it was important for this story!!
I wait for your opinions and see u at the next one ❤️
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