Ron enters the building and walks over to hermione. They give each other a friendly smile. They hear a “BING” sound,
indicating the elevator has arrived. The doors open and ron and hermione walk inside.

Ron and hermione are standing silently as the elevator goes up. Eventually, ron gets the courage to speak...

"So, what’s been going on?"

"Oh, nothing. It’s just been a long week." Hermione answered.

"How about you?" Asked hermione

"My week was great. Work wasn’t too bad. I caught up on some sleep. Plus, the guy
who works next to me decided to bathe for
a change." Ron said

"Really?"

"Oh wait, I meant the exact opposite of
that. Work sucked. I barely slept. And
the guy next to me still smells like
crap. But a man can dream, right?" Ron said.

Hermione laughs. Ron is pleased that his joke worked.

"So what are you up to tonight?" Ron asked

"Actually, I’m probably gonna work out a
little bit, clean up the apartment, and
then go over to my boyfriend’s place.
He’s cooking me a really nice dinner." She said.

"Really?" Ron said with disappointment.

"Oh wait, I meant the exact opposite of
that.
I’ll actually probably just sit on my
ass, eat a pint of Hagaan Daz, and watch
Blind Date." Hermione said with a grin.

"That sounds awful." Ron says playfully.
Hermione  laughs, as does ron. They smile at each other...

"Well, if you want some company, maybe you could sit on your ass at my place." Ron said waggling his eyebrows.

"Maybe." Hermione said flirting back.

They hear the “BING” of the elevator...

They’re back in the lobby. EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED WAS A
FANTASY. Ron and hermione enter the elevator. Ron is shocked that he was daydreaming.

Ron and hermione stand silently while the elevator goes up.

Ron wants to say something, but he doesn’t have the courage. They reach their floor and exit the elevator.

"Bye" said hermione as she walked inside her apartment and shuts the door.

Ron is disappointed in himself, he didnt say anything to her, not even a hello or a bye.

Tired and frustrated, ron enters his apartment. The place is minimally decorated, with one of the highlights being a poster of chudley cannons (harry and Ron's favourite basketball team.

"Harry?" Ron called out

"Yeah, I’m in here!" Harry called back.
Ron walks over to harry's  room and looks inside. It’s a nightmare-- dirty laundry all over the floor, empty bags of chips and used condoms. On his walls there were old school gangsta rap posters and a giant photograph of harry with his arms around his parents James and Lily potter . Harry is not in the room, however.

Ron walks over to HIS ROOM (neat, tidy, IKEA furnishings), where he sees HARRY STANDING BUTT NAKED IN
FRONT OF A FULL-LENGTH MIRROR.

There’s a “clipping sound” coming from Harry's  direction. Ron stares at him, shocked and appalled. Ron walks inside...

"Harry, what the hell are you doing!" Ron nearly shouted.

"I’m trimming my pubes." Harry said as he looks at himself in the mirror as he makes a couple more snips. On the floor, there were LARGE CLUMPS OF HAIR.

"Why aren’t you doing this in your room!" Ron asked with disgust

"The mirror’s in here." Harry said.

"I’m gonna puke. Get your clothes on." Ron said before he ran to the toilet and puked.

"Chill out. It makes my Johnson look
bigger. Besides, if I don’t do this, I’ll
end up with pubes like my dad. You’ve
seen hagrid's beard, right?" Harry said coming into the toilet ( hagrid is the cleaner of their building.)

Ron notices something.....

"Are those my scissors? Oh my God! I
trim my nose hair with those!" Ron said pointing at the scissors harry was holding.

"Really? I’ve been cutting my ass hair with
them for the past six months." Harry said.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" Ron bellowed.

Harry puts the scissors down and leaves the room. Ron shakes his head and throws the scissors out the window and vacuums the hair on the floor.

A few minutes later harry walks back into Ron's room, this time fully dressed.

"One of the senior analysts asked me to do
a bunch of his work for him tonight." Ron said.

"I assume you gave him the appropriate
'go fuck yourself.' Harry said sitting on Ron's bed.

"If by 'go fuck yourself' you mean 'no
problem sir' then yes, he got the message
loud and clear." Ron said.

Harry shakes his head in disgust...

"Oh, no wonder you tried cancelling on me
today. Dude, you gotta learn how to say
NO once in a while. Now lets get high." Harry said.

"No. I got a lot of work to finish." Ron said while opening his laptop.

Harry shuts Ron's  laptop. "Fuck that! You’ll have plenty of time to get that shit done later. Come on, let’s smoke a couple joints." Harry said.

Ron thinks for a moment and then caves...

"Alright, let's do this!" Ron said standing up.

"Attaboy" said harry before he left Ron's room.

Harry walks over to a table in the living room where he finds AN M.C.A.T. TEST PREP BOOK. Harry lifts open the cover--
inside, we see a hollowed-out circle filled with marijuana.

Harry smells it and shudders in ecstasy.
The phone next to the book starts to ring. Harry doesn’t care. He lets it ring until the answering machine picks up.

"Harry...it is James. I hope your
interview today with remus lupin was good. I’m calling to remind you that you have another one tomorrow morning with Dr. Quirrel at 10:00 a.m. Do not be late! It is very important you show up on time!
Lily and I will be very upset if you do
not go. Good luck, harry. Remember, the
meeting is at ten o’clock. Bye bye."

Harry rolls his eyes as he tears some pages from the M.C.A.T. book and starts rolling a fat blunt...

Ron entered the living room. Harry is now licking the blunt."Don’t you think you should take at least one of your interviews seriously? At some point your dad’s gonna get really pissed." Ron said as he sat on the sofa.

"So what? It’s not like there’s a
shortage of Dr. Potter's out there. My
dad’s a doctor. My mom's a doctor.
Just because everyone in my family went
to med school, doesn’t mean I have to." Harry said annoyed."Well, then what are you going to do?" Ron asked.

"I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m
gonna smoke this fat blunt, get
ridiculously high, and then get something
to eat." Harry said lighting the joint.

"Sounds like a plan." Ron said.

Harry takes the first hit off the blunt. He nods to ron, as if to say “that’s good shit.” Ron takes the blunt from harry and inhales...

1 hour later Harry and ron are now smoking out of an ENORMOUS BONG, while watching TV. The room is filled with smoke.

It was an episode of days of our lives. "Boring" said harry as he changed the channel.

It’s an anti-marijuana commercial. Two teenagers are listening to rock music in a house without parents. One teenager (blonde) passes a joint to the other (brown haired).

"Come on, dude. Just take one hit. Don’t
you want to be cool?" Said the blonde kid.

Nervously, the brown haired kid takes a hit of the joint. Right after he exhales, he walks over to his DAD’S GUN RACK and
takes out a LONG RIFLE...

"Hey man, what are you doing?" The blonde kid asked in horror.

"I’m so high! Nothing can hurt me!"said the brown haired kid.

The Brown Haired Kid puts the end of the rifle in his mouth. The Blonde Haired kid shours in in slow motion “Nooooo!”
BANG!
WE HEAR A GUNSHOT AS THE SCREEN TURNS BLACK...

'Marijuana kills' is written in red on the black screen.

Harry and ron are laughing their asses off at the commercial.

Harry continues flipping channels...

They see a News report

"Tonight...a Cheetah escaped from the
Morristown Zoo..." announced the newscaster.

Harry's not interested. He continues flipping the channels...

"Nice. Sixteen Candles is on." Harry said.

"And the award for least heterosexual
statement ever made in this apartment
goes to... (mock opening an envelope)
Harry potter! Come on down! Take a bow!" Said ron.

"Oh come on. It’s a John Hughes movie!
It’s a classic! It’s a beautiful story
about someone who feels unnoticed,
unappreciated, unloved..." harry trailed off.

"Hey look its you" ron said pointing to the TV where we see a CLIP FROM SIXTEEN
CANDLES--[Long Duk Dong talking about quiche/round pie]

Ron laughs. Harry isn’t amused.

We see another CLIP [Long Duk talking about the chores he
does for the grandparents].

"Hey, when are you gonna start doing some chores around here?" Harry asked ron.

Ron gives harry a 'don’t even joke' look. He then violently grabs the bong from harry and lights it. Harry laughs as ron exhales a lot of smoke...

"I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry as
Hell right now." Ron said after a while.

"No shit! Let’s eat!" Harry said.

Ron bends down and picks up a bunch of delivery menus that have been left on the floor...

"Nah, I don’t feel like delivery tonight." Harry said

"What about KFC?" Ron asked looking up from the menus.

"Nah, we’ve been there too many times.
I want something we haven’t had in
awhile. Something different. Something
that’ll really hit the spot. I want the
perfect food..." harry said in a dream like voice.

"Are you hungry?" Came a voice from the TV

Harry and Ron turn their attention to the TV, where they see a leaky cauldron commercial taking place. In the commercial, we see dozens of tiny burgers  lined up in a row.

"Then come to White Castle and try our
Slyder Special-- six burgers, fries, and
a soft drink for only 2.99." Announced the voice in the TV.

Harry and Ron start drooling, as they see the steam rise from the burgers on the TV.

"Imagine all those burgers in your stomach right now. Mmmmmh...." the voice said

Harry and Ron move closer to the TV to smell the burgers.

"Don’t you like food that’s tasty and
delicious?" The voice asked.

Almost in a trance, Harry and Ron nod agreeingly.

"Then what are you waiting for? Head over to the leaky cauldron. It’s what you crave." The commercial ends. Ron and Harry look at each other-- this is clearly an emotional moment for both of them.

TO BE CONTINUED....