Requested by musicallover_1706, post endgame christmas

Steve had never felt so miserable about Christmas.

It didn't feel like a holiday. Not without Natasha. His teammates had tried to cheer him up but it was pointless.

He did his best to put on a good facade but everyone could see right through it.

Steve had participated in every team bonding christmas activity Tony hosted and even drew a name for the secret santa they had decided to do.

It was a great idea until they forgot to take Natasha's name out from the year before.

Steve's face had gone pale when he read the name and he had to hold back his tears as he sat down quietly, choosing not to tell anyone of the mistake.

"You alright Steve?" Tony had asked, noticing his sudden change in demeanor.

Steve nodded weakly. No, he was most certainly not okay. He was heartbroken and lonely. But he wasn't about to admit that to his concerned friends.

After the secret Santa incident, Steve had tried to stay in his room for most of the holiday season.

He did make Natasha a gift. Although she was no longer there he found that when he worked on it, he felt a little less sad. And he figured he could lay it on her grave out of respect.

He was making her a picture. It portrayed the moment that he first met Natasha. He left out most of his face but you could see part of his face in the corner of the paper.

It was focused on her though, the way her lips had twitched up into a small smirk when he referred to her as ma'am, the twinkle she held in her eyes at the excitement of the new team she would be working on, and the barely noticeable lines of worry from her concern about Clint.

Every stroke of his pencil made him feel just a little bit closer to her, even if she was gone.

But then he would frown at the painting and realize that he couldn't remember excactly where the small scar on her cheek was.

Was it on the left or right? Closer to her nose or her ear? The memory of her that he had cherished for so long was becoming fuzzy and it scared the living hell out of him.

Every time this would happen, he would grab his phone and scroll through the pictures he had of her. Trying to solidify his memory of her appearance.

"Hey Cap! We're about to start the gift exchange. You ready?" Tony asked, opening the door.

Tony saw the drawing and gave Steve a small smile, "You alright?"

Steve nodded, "Yeah, just trying to capture the memory before it gets fuzzy."

Tony frowned, "You won't forget her Steve. None of us will."

"Not completely, no. But I'm already forgetting the little things," Steve said sadly, still carefully drawing her eye.

"Really? Because that looks identical to her. It may as well be a photocopy."

Steve shrugged, "I had pictures to help me with the small things. But I used to know everything about her like the back of my hand. Not so much anymore."

Tony sighed, "Don't be too hard on yourself Steve."

Steve didn't respond as he finished the final touches on his drawing.

"Come on, maybe some spiked eggnog and presents will cheer you up." Tony said.

Steve nodded and rolled up the drawing before following Tony to the family room.

Underneath the tree there was a bunch of small boxes, some odd shaped presents, one that was oddly shaped excactly like a bow, and one huge box.

Steve sat down on the couch wordlessly and gave a weak smile to his teammates.

"Merry Christmas Steve!" Wanda said, smiling at him as he sat besides the girl.

He nodded, "Merry Christmas."

Tony handed him a glass of heavily spiked eggnog and clapped his hand, "Alright here's how we're gonna do this. We'll go in a circle, so Clint you open the first gift."

Clint smiled and went to grab the gift shaped like a bow.

"Wonder what this is..." He said, laughing.

Clint opened his bow and the gifts moved down the line, everyone opening up gifts that were perfect to them.

Finally it got to Steve and there was only two gifts left.

"Which ones mine?" He asked. The only two remaining were the giant one and one small one.

"The big one, but be careful with it. It's fragile," Tony warned him.

Steve could've sworn he heard Clint snicker but he chose to ignore it and instead he carefully carried the box to his seat.

Unwrapping it, Steve frowned to see that it was just another box that was taped together with holes in the side.

Did they get him an animal?

Ripping the tape off the box, Steve nearly had a heart attack. First of fear and then of overwhelming joy.

Bursting out of the box, was the redhead who had been missing from his life for several months now.

After he initial shock, Steve pulled Natasha out of the box and engulfed her in a bone crushing hug, his eyes welling with tears as she wrapped her arms around his neck and laughed quietly, "Did you miss me?" She teased.

Steve gave a small laugh, shaking his head and smiling ear to ear, "You could say that."

By now Tony had evacuated the living room, he pat Steve on the back and smiled at his two friends reuniting, "Merry Christmas Cap."

Steve nodded and pulled away from Nat after a few more minutes, "How are you here??"

"Tony...he found a way to bring me back a few days ago and we decided to surprise you." Natasha explained, cupping his face and running her thumb along his jaw.

Steve shook his head, still in complete awe that Natasha was alive and standing in front of him, "I can't believe you're alive..."

Natasha smiled and pulled Steve in for another embrace, "I'm so sorry I left you alone."

Steve pulled away and pulled the drawing out of his pocket, "I drew your name in the secret santa...I had just planned on laying this on your grave but since you're here..."

Steve handed her the paper and she unfolded it. Smiling when she saw the picture, "Did you draw this?"

Steve nodded, "It's not much, but to be fair I thought I was giving this to a dead person."

Natasha laughed and shook her head, "This is amazing Steve. I had no idea you were such an artist."

Steve shrugged, "Its a hobby."

Natasha's smile dimmed for a second and she reached out to grab Steve's hand, "You know, while I was gone, I could watch you guys. Dying wasn't so bad. I knew that sacrificing myself would benefit the greater good. But watching you gave me one regret. I regretted that I left you, and that I never told you how I felt before we ran out of time."

Steve squeezed her hand, he had confessed his love for her hundreds of time at her grave and now he was sure that she knew.

Natasha looked up at him and gave him a weak smile, "I love you."

Steve let out a laugh that conveyed relief and overwhelming joy, "God Nat, I love you too. I love you so much."

Natasha cupped his face in her hands and pulled him to her for a passionate and long overdo kiss.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with all her might, pouring out months of regret and yearning into the kiss.

Steve kissed her back with just as much passion and only pulled away when they heard cheering from their fellow avengers, who had conviniently walked back into the room.

Natasha laughed as they pulled away and rested her forehead on Steve's, "Merry Christmas Rogers."

Steve grinned for the first time since her death and pecked her lips again, "Merry Christmas Natasha."

Hey guys! Merry Christmas Eve! One more Christmas chapter left!

Comment and vote if you enjoyed!!!