A part 2 of "remember me before I go" bc like 8 people asked for it😂😂Hope you enjoy.

Natasha was lost.

She was hurt, confused, and angry that Steve was gone.

The guilt was overwhelming. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see him laying on the ground, blood spilling from the wound she had delivered.

Everyone knew what had happened. Natasha had begged them to arrest her.

When all of them had refused and insisted that it wasn't her fault. Natasha locked herself away.

She stayed in her room for weeks. She hardly ate, she never slept, and she spent most of her days staring at the ceiling.

The day of Steve's memorial service, she told the avengers she wasn't going. Clint had begged her to be reasonable.

"Nat please. Steve would want you there. We all want you there." He insisted.

Natasha shook her head. "How could I go Clint? How am I supposed to pretend like I'm not the one who shot him? I can't do it." She told him, tears filling her eyes.

Clint sighed. "Nat. You can. You just have to stop blaming yourself."

"Please just go." She whispered softly.

Clint sighed, walking away from her room.

Natasha shut the door and quickly changed into a black dress. Grabbing a rain jacket, she left the compound soon after the rest of the avengers.

Natasha stood in the back. Her hood was up and she looked at the ground during most of the ceremony. Reporters were everywhere, civilians crowded the streets with signs in support of Steve and his mourning teammates.

She wished it had been more private. Or that they had a quiet ceremony for him before this.

Natasha wasn't sure how Steve would feel about the crowds and reporters.

After the ceremony ended, Natasha waited in the distance at underneath a tree. People stepped up to his new grave and laid down flowers, signs, and other things they had brought in memory of him.

Natasha waited hours for the last few civilizations to leave. It was nearly one in the morning by the time the cemetery was empty.

It took nearly thirty minutes for Natasha to will herself to go up to his grave.

She reached into her pocket and sighed, pulling out the compass that she had taken from Steve's body right after his death.

"I brought this." Natasha mumbled to his grave, running her thumb over the item.

"I know it meant a lot to you so I figured the least I could do was bring it to you." She said hanging her head in guilt.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, tears streaming down her cheek. "Everyone keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault but it was. I killed you. I pulled the trigger. If I had been strong enough to resist them you would still be here right now."

She looked back at the compass. "I wish you were still here. I should have told you this long time ago, but I love you."

She sighed and gently opened the compass. Expecting to see the picture of Peggy.

Inside she saw not only Peggy's picture but also one of her taped into the other side.

Tears welling up in her eyes Natasha shook her head with a small smile. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" She whispered, gently setting the compass down on his grave.

After taking one more longing glance at the picture of him scattered amount the hundreds of gifts, Natasha left.

She quietly snuck into the compound and went straight back to her floor, hoping to avoid her teammates.

As she walked by Steve's room, she stopped.

Placing a hand on the doorknob, she hesitated.

Slowly, she opened the door and stepped inside, secretly praying that she would see him laying on the couch watching an old movie, holding that stupid list of his and smiling at Natasha as she walked in.

But he wasn't there. The couch was empty but the apartment didn't feel like it belonged to a dead person.

If Natasha hadn't known better she would have assumed he would be back any time now.

A glass of water was still sitting on the kitchen counter, there was a blanket thrown loosely onto the couch, and a pile of unwashed dishes sat piled up in the sink.

Natasha's breath quickened and she slowly walked into his room.

The bed was neatly made, Steve always had a particular fondness for coming home to a neatly made bed.

On his nightstand there was a picture of the team. Natasha ran her hand along the frame and sighed.

One of Steve's hoodies was draped over the chair in the corner. Picking it up, Natasha found that it still smelled just like him.

Slipping it over her t-shirt, she sat down on his bed with tears in her eyes.

She pulled her knees to her chest and cried. Missing Steve more then anything.

Her heart felt incomplete. It was like she had shot a gaping hole in her own heart.

She was conflicted with guilt and grief. Not knowing which emotion was more powerful.

All Natasha wanted was to hear Steve's voice one more time.

She remembered his last words to her.

"Just remember that I love you Nat. I always have and I always will."

The words hurt her more then any wound she had ever received.

Laying down on the bed, she clutched his pillow and squeezed her eyes shut.

"I miss you so much." She whispered.

Eventually, she drifted off to sleep. Exhaustion taking over her body and mind.

Steve's final words ringing in her mind as she slept.

Hey guys. Sorry this came so long after part one and the ending kinda sucks. Hopefully you still enjoyed.

If you did please leave a comment and a vote! I'll try to update soon!