Steve makes his own memorial for Natasha because the avengers didn't throw her a funeral. AKA the sad chapter most of you have been expecting.

Steve wasn't sure what happened.

One minute, he had having weekly visits with the woman he had fallen so deeply in love with.

Then they were suddenly on a mission to go back in time to save their friends.

It had happened so quickly that he never imagined that getting them back would meaning losing her.

She had been so excited, so ready to save them...the last thing he expected was for her to not return.

The last words she spoke to him shouldn't have been a goodbye. It was supposed to be a promise. A small joke to lighten the mood.

"See you in a minute."

She had said it with such confidence. It was obvious that Natasha had no idea that those would be the last words she ever spoke to Steve.

When he found out that she was gone, he had been filled with overwhelming grief. He wanted to shut down. To lock himself in a room and never come out again.

But then Thanos came back and suddenly everything Natasha had died for was at risk.

And as much as Steve wanted to leave the fight for the others and cry over his loss, he couldn't let her death be in vain.

So he fought.

Feeling empty without her to help him and missing their lighthearted banter during battles.

He even found himself turning to his right every now and then to check for her, only to feel a sharp pain in his heart when he remembered she wasn't there.

Everyone came back though. And in that one moment, Steve was able to feel a little bit of relief and pride.

Natasha Romanoff was the reason for all of this.

Everyone was back, because of her.

And even though it hurt, he knew that it was excactly what she had wanted.

They defeated Thanos eventually, but it had come at the cost of another friend. Tony was gone.

That was two of Steve's closest companions gone in less then 24 hours.

He had never felt so empty and so alone in his entire life. Not even when he lost Bucky or Peggy.

Because during those moments, he still had someone to comfort him.

He still had Natasha.

But with her gone too, he found himself all alone at Tony's funeral. Wishing that Natasha could be besides him, holding his hand and promising him that everything would be alright.

With her gone, he didn't see how anything could be alright again.

After Tony's funeral, Steve wondered when Natasha's would be held.

But a week passed and there had still not been a memorial service or anything.

He had eventually gathered up the motivation to ask Fury when it would be held only to find out they weren't doing one.

"We don't have the body and she didn't have any family besides the Avengers. And I don't have the means of organizing it." Nick said, barely looking up from his papers even if Steve could tell how badly he was hurting.

"So we're just going to act like she never existed? We were her family Sir. She deserves some type of service."

Nick looked up at Steve with cold eyes, "Without definitive proof of her death I am not going to organize a funeral."

Steve frowned, "Definitive proof? That damn stone is the proof Fury. What more do you need?!"

"I've made up my mind Captain. And if you don't have anything else for me then please see yourself out."

Steve shook his head and then slammed his office door shut as he left.

Steve walked to the elevator quickly, trying to force down the tears in his eyes as he pressed the button for Natasha's floor.

Before the doors opened, Friday asked for authorization.

"Steve Rogers."

The doors opened and Friday spoke again, "Access granted."

Steve walked inside and his heart ached a bit, they still hadn't moved anything from where it had been the say she died.

Trying to keep his emotions in check, Steve walked around the room and gathered the things he knew meant the most to Natasha.

He grabbed one of her suits, the pointe shoes he had given her a few years ago, her widow bites, and a picture of the team.

Carrying the things into his room, he found a metal box that had once been used to store his shield and placed the items inside, sealing it shut.

He set the box on his bed and walked over to his desk where an unfinished sketch of Natasha was laying.

Picking up his sketch book, he grabbed the box and took everything down to the garage.

He cleared a work table and went into Tony's old storage until he found a large slab of stone.

Carrying it over to the work bench, he pulled out his sketch book and did a rough drawing of the symbol Natasha wore on her belt.

Steve used one of the lasers to cut the stone into a shape resembling a tombstone.

He grabbed some paint from the storage room as well and sat down, carefully beginning to paint words onto the stone.

On it he wrote,

In loving memory of Natasha Romanoff. A beloved friend, aunt, and hero to many. May she live on in our hearts forever. 

Beneath the words he had carefully drawn the Black Widow symbol.

While letting the stone dry, he grabbed some paper and write down a goodbye to her.

Tucking it into his pocket, he grabbed the stone, the box, and a shovel before carrying it all outside.

He took everything to the edge of the compounds yard where you could see the beach, the building, and most of the forest.

Setting the box and stone down, Steve began digging a small hole that was just big enough to hold the box.

He buried it silently before placing the makeshift gravestone at the head of the 'grave'.

He stepped back to look at the memorial and frowned.

Quickly grabbing his keys, Steve drove down to the store and bought a few more things.

He returned with flowers, a framed photo of her, and the arrow necklace she often wore.

Steve put the framed photo of her on the ground and hung the necklace on the frame. Then set the bouquet of red, black, and white roses against it.

Stepping back, his eyes filled with tears as he realized that this was the closest he would ever get to saying goodbye to her.

Kneeling down in front of his makeshift memorial, Steve pulled out his letter and sighed.

"Hey Nat, I um, I'm sorry this is the best I could do for your memorial. I think Nick is in too much denial to throw you a real funeral, but I wanted to do something for you...to be honest I'm still in denial myself. It's hard to believe that you're really gone," Steve started. His eyes watery as he stared at the picture of Natasha.

"You've been there for me for so many years that I don't know how to deal with loss without you. But I'm trying. I really am. Because I know you would want me to try and move on. I won't ever move on though. Not completely. I never got to tell you this, but I'm completely in love with you. You held my heart in your hands and even now that you're gone, you still have it."

Steve sighed, shaking his head as he looked at the memorial, "I thought that this memorial would help me grieve. Help me accept it...but it just hurts. Because now it just feels like you're really gone."

Tears began streaming down Steve's cheeks as he continued talking, "I miss you. I miss you so much Natasha. I love you...and I hope wherever you are, you're at peace."

Steve sat on the ground alone for a while but eventually left the memorial. Going back to her room and laying on her bed until he cried himself to sleep, clutching onto her pillow and wishing that somehow she would return.

As the years went on, Steve never moved away from the compound. He moved into Natasha's old floor and visited her memorial every morning and most nights.

Talking to her picture as if it was really her.

He told her everything. His struggles, how the team was doing, dreams he had of her still being alive.

He also brought a fresh set of flowers every other day and made sure that the letting on the stone never faded.

Visiting her memorial had become a part of his routine. The only part he cared about.

He would talk to her for an hour and finish with the same thing every day...

"I love you and I miss you more then ever Nat."

As he got older, he found himself waiting for the day he would die. Wondering if maybe he would be reunited with her.

He told her of his thoughts one rainy night when he felt particularly lonely.

"Hey Nat. I miss you more then normal today. It's been almost ten years since I lost you and the pain is still unbearable. Lately dying has sounded more appealing then living. I won't ever take my own life, I owe it to everyone whose died saving me to try and keep living...but if I were to die on a mission, I think I could finally be at peace. I don't know for sure how the afterlife works, but I'm hoping that when I do die, I'll get to be with you again. I know I sound crazy right now but I just feel so alone...I love you Nat, and I miss you. Until next time."

He had walked away that day and gone to Nick. Asking him to be out back in the feild for the first time since Natasha's death.

His first mission was a success and he had been excited to go see Natasha's memorial and talk about it.

"Hey Natasha, sorry I missed yesterday. I went on a mission. It was my first one back since your death. It wasn't the same without you as my partner, but it was nice, I felt like I had a purpose again," Steve had explained before talking to her a little while longer.

After that day he went on missions more often and found himself being unintentionally reckless on several occasions.

So it was hardly shocking when he had taken three bullets to the chest during a team mission.

He wasn't sure excactly what happened. All he knew was that he saw the gunman aim at one of his younger recruits so in a moment of desperation to save them, he had jumped in front of them, taking the bullets himself.

When he fell to the ground, he could see people gathering around him and he could tell they were speaking to him but he didn't hear anything they were saying.

All the pain from his chest was nothing compared to the broken heart he had been suffering from for years. So when he realized that this was it, he was honestly happier then he had been in a long time.

Sam and Bucky appeared above him with concerned looks and Steve gave them both a weak smile.

"C'mon Steve. Let us help you up, we can get you to medical and patch you up in no time," Sam said, trying to lift Steve up.

Steve shook his head and coughed up some blood, "No. Don't. I'm not gonna make it."

Bucky frowned, "We have to try and save you."

Steve gave them both a weak smile, "No, this is okay Buck. I'm ready. Just do me a favor?"

He nodded and Steve sighed in relief, "Bury me next to Natasha's memorial?"

Bucky gave his oldest friend a weak smile and nodded, "Of course."

Steve looked at Sam, "Replace her flowers every now and then too okay?"

Sam smiled, "It'd be my honor."

Steve smiled and laid his head back on the hard ground, he swore he could see Natasha standing in the distance.

"Cap?" Sam whispered, trying to hold back tears at the loss of his friend.

"I see her Sam...I get to see her again," Steve whispered, letting out a breathy laugh.

Bucky smiled through his tears and placed a hand on his friends shoulder, "Go get her Steve."

Steve took one final breath and then found himself standing in a field with a small house and a view of the beach.

He looked around, finding himself a little disoriented.

"Natasha?!" He called out, hoping she was with him wherever he was.

Turning back towards the house, Steve was suddenly crashed into by a familiar red haired woman who was grasping onto him like her life depended on it.

Steve's eyes widened and he hugged the woman back, "Natasha?! Is it really you?"

Natasha back away a little bit so she could take Steve's face in her hands and she nodded, her eyes filled with tears, "Yes. It's me. I can't believe you're here. Goddamn it Steve, you're not supposed to be dead yet. You were supposed to grow old and be happy."

Steve laughed and placed his hands atop hers, "I'm happy now that I'm with you again. I missed you so much Nat."

Natasha shook her head, "I know. I could see you and hear everything you said to me at the memorial you made me. I missed you too. And I love you too Steve. I love you so damn much."

Steve didn't even have time to smile before Natasha grabbed his chin and pulled him towards her for a passionate kiss.

They didn't pull away for a long time, but when they did, Natasha still refused to loosen her arms from Steve's neck.

Instead, she pulled him closer and rested her head on his shoulder.

Steve embraced her back and stroked her hair, wishing that he could have done this years ago.

He eventually stepped back a bit and leaned down to capture her lips in another slow kiss that somewhat made up for the ones they had missed out on during the years of her death.

Who knows how long they would have kissed for had they not been inturrupted.

"You know...I'm here too. Not that anyone cares," Tony called from the porch of the house.

Steve's eyes widened and he let out a laugh. He held Natasha's hand stillz but quickly walked over to his other friend.

"Tony!" He yelled, hugging him and laughing to himself again.

Tony grinned, "How's death treating you Capsicle?"

Steve looked from Natasha's bright smile to his long lost friend, "To be perfectly honest...it's pretty great."

Hey guys. This was much longer then I intended for it to be (2500 words) but I hope you all appreciate the happyish ending.

If you enjoyed this, please comment and vote!