Steve and Natasha's life with James Rogers

James Rogers was born on February 4th, 2018.

Since he had been born, Natasha and Steve has settled down almost as if they were a normal family.

They lived in a house twenty minutes from the compound and only went in when it was for training or to help from the compound.

They had both decided that since they now had James to worry about, they would only go on missions if it was absolutely necessary...and even then, only one of them would go.

At first, it had been hard for them both to not be as active in the world. Natasha had been going on missions every week for as long as she could remember, and Steve had so much energy most of the time, that they would often spar for hours after James went to bed just to be able to fall asleep.

But James was five now, and they had settled into their roles as parents well.

Steve was an amazing dad.

Although James was definitely a momma's boy, Steve could make him laugh and smile without even trying.

He was also completely selfless when it came to his family, so if James asked him to play, Steve would stop everything he was doing and entertain his son until James was exhausted.

Natasha often found herself smiling when she watched him with James.

Their kitchen window overlooked the front yard and she would often look up and find James holding a small version of Steve's shield while Steve shot nerf bullets at him, faking him own death when James threw the shield at him.

"Training him to be a supersoldier?" Natasha asked when they came inside for dinner, greeting Steve with a quick kiss.

Steve smiled, "I don't know...he's got your skill for sneaking around. He might be better off as a secret agent."

James giggled as Natasha smiled and ducked down to lift him up, "Oh yeah?"

Steve nodded.

"Well your daddy's gonna be in trouble if there's two spies in the house," Natasha teased, looking at Steve with a slight smirk.

James giggled, "I wanna be both!"

Steve raised his eyebrows, "You wanna be a spy and a soldier?"

James nodded, and Natasha smiled, "Now we're both in big trouble."

Steve gave Natasha a knowing smile as they all walked into the kitchen.

"What's for dinner mama?" James asked, laying his head on her shoulder.

"Steak and mashed potatoes." Natasha said, setting him down at the table.

James frowned, "But mama, I don't like steak!"

Steve started to say something but Natasha placed her hand on his as she placed the plates on the table.

"You want to be a super soldier and a spy don't you?" She asked.

James nodded.

"Spies and Soldiers eat their steaks. And if they do...they might get a special treat after dinner," Natasha said, slightly grinning at James.

James paused for a moment, as if he had to think about it before quickly beginning to eat, without more complaining.

Steve smiled and shook his head in disbelief at Natasha.

They had been married for seven years and had James for five, and he was still in awe of how amazing of a wife and mother she was.

Natasha could get James to do anything. She never yelled, and she didn't ever really threaten him with any punishments.

Steve had always suspended that she was trying to be the furthest thing from the red room that she could when it came to raising a child.

But even without having to ever raise her voice, she was always the one to talk to James when he got in trouble or if he was disobeying them, which he rarely did.

She was also great at making him laugh. Her witty humor wasn't beyond his grasp and he thought the world of his mother.

Together, her and Steve were successfully raising a great little boy.

After eating, Natasha gave James some ice cream and the three of them sat down to watch a movie.

Natasha's head was resting on Steve's shoulder with his arm around her, while James sat in both of their laps, his head in Natasha's chest and his legs across Steve's lap.

"What movie should we watch today?" Steve asked, scrolling through the selection.

James pointed at the screen, "The Lion King!"

Steve chuckled and clicked on the movie, setting the remote down before sitting back and leaning towards Natasha.

James was interested in the movie for probably half an hour before he fell asleep, his small hands holding onto Natasha and his head on her shoulder.

"Should I bring him upstairs?" Natasha whispered, pushing some of James' blonde hair from his face.

Steve nodded, "You want me too?"

Natasha shook her head, "I got him."

She carried James up carefully and tucked him in, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before going back downstairs.

When she got back to the couch, Steve was on the phone.

She waited for him to hang up and then sat back down in his lap, "Who was that?"

Steve sighed, "Tony."

Natasha frowned, Tony only called them if it was an emergency or if Pepper was pregnant, otherwise, Pepper was the one calling them, "What is it? Is everyone alright?"

Steve nodded, "Yeah they're all fine. He said they need me for a mission tomorrow morning. He said they can't do it without me."

Natasha frowned, not wanting to be left alone with James while Steve was on a highly dangerous mission, "What happened?"

"Hydra is trying to resurface. They got someone on the inside and they need me to crash the next meeting and make sure no one escapes."

Again, Natasha couldn't help but frown, "Why do they need you? Tony and the kid could handle a lockdown."

Steve sighed, "They've created a new serum. Supposedly, it's almost exactly like mine, but stronger. If they've used it on more then one person, Tony and Peter wouldn't be able to fight them off."

Natasha pressed her forehead against Steve's, "Will you be able to?"

"I'll have help Nat. I know what you're thinking and I promise that everything will be alright. You know that I won't go if you tell me to stay, but this is Hydra. If they don't get shut down, James might be in danger."

Natasha nodded, "I know. I won't stop you from going. You just have to promise that you'll make it home."

Steve smiled softly, "Of course. I promise. I'll be back the night after tomorrow if all goes to plan."

Natasha forced a smile, "I'll be waiting up for you."

Steve smiled and moved forward kiss her, "I love you Natasha."

Natasha sighed and rested her head against Steve's chest, closing her eyes for a moment and trying to perfectly capture the moment in her mind, "I love you too."

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The next morning, Steve was really not looking forward to the mission. He could tell Natasha didn't want him to go, and he didn't want to leave James.

It was only a two day mission but he still had a hard time looking into the two nearly identical sets of emerald eyes and wishing Natasha and James goodbye.

"Be good okay? I'll be back tomorrow night after you go to sleep." Steve promised James, kneeling down to hug him.

James nodded, "Bye daddy. Love you."

"Love you too bud," Steve said, ruffling his hair before standing up and embracing Natasha.

"Be careful Steve. I can't do all this without you so you have to come home."

Steve nodded, kissing her kissing her lips softly, "I will Nat. I promise."

Natasha nodded and kissed him again, her hands gently holding Steve's face.

Finally, Steve pulled away, knowing that he had to go.

Natasha frowned as he picked up his bags, "I'll be back tomorrow. Don't get into any trouble without me okay?"

Natasha nodded, picking James up as she pecked Steve goodbye one more time, "I love you. Stay safe."

"I love you too. I'll see you soon."

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The next night came and Natasha had been waiting on the couch all afternoon.

James was asleep in her lap and the TV had been playing as background noise for hours now as she watched the door.

If was well past midnight now and she was beginning to get worried.

There was a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach and her skin had already gone pale at the thought of something going wrong.

It was five AM when a knock came at the door.

Natasha frowned, why was he knocking?

Gently setting James down on the couch, she walked to the door and opened it quickly, expecting to see Steve on the other side of it.

Instead she saw Tony.

"Tony?" She asked, her voice now dripping with fear, "Where's Steve?"

Tony shook his head, "He's missing Natasha. We were winning, and then this guy came out and he had the serum. We all fought him off but there was a bomb. I looked everywhere for him. Shield had everyone out there looking for him but this was all we found,"

He held out his hand and Natasha wanted to scream.

It was the compass, the new one that she had given him a few Christmases ago. The one that had a picture of their family.

"Why aren't they still looking? He's out there Tony. He wouldn't leave us. He promised me he wouldn't leave us. Why are you here instead of looking for him?"

Tony shook his head, "Natasha they found blood too. A lot of it. The lab results came in and it's Steve's."

Natasha shook her head, refusing to belief what she was hearing, "That doesn't mean anything. He's still alive Tony. He has to be alive."

"They already declared him KIA Nat. They're still looking for his body but he's gone."

"No," Natasha whispered, shaking her head as tears built in the back of her eyes, "He can't be gone Tony. You don't understand. James needs him...I need him. I can't raise him by myself Tony. I can't."

Tony's eyes were tearful too, "You're not alone Natasha. You've got every avengers by your side. And I won't stop looking for him. If he's alive, we'll find him."

Natasha was trying to hold herself together, "Please find him Tony. I'm begging you."

"I'll try. Do you need me to take James tonight?" Tony offered.

Natasha shook her head, "No, I think we just need to be with each other alone right now."

Tony nodded, "Okay. Call me if you need anything."

Natasha nodded, tears gathering in her throat as she closed the door and sank down against it before letting them fall.

She was sobbing when she heard a small voice come from in front of her, "Mama? Why are you crying? Where's daddy?"

Natasha bit her lip and gently pulled James into her lap, stroking his hair gently.

"Remember how daddy had to go on a very important mission to fight bad guys?" Natasha asked quietly, her voice raw.

James nodded, "When is he coming home?"

Natasha shook her head slightly, "He might not come home baby. Daddy got hurt really bad by the bad guys and we aren't sure if he's okay or not."

James frowned, "Why don't we help him?"

Natasha tried to hold back her tears, "We are going to try. I promise we'll try."

James eyes welled up with tears, "Is daddy dead?"

"I don't know," Natasha said, fighting back sobs as she cradled James close to her chest.

James shook his head his lip now quivering, "He promised he would come home! I thought he loved us."

Natasha shook her head, wiping her sons tears with her thumb and gently holding his face in her hand, "He does baby. He loves us both so much. If he's alive then I promise you he is fighting as hard as he can to come home."

James was now crying even harder, "I want him to come home right now."

Tears streamed down Natasha's cheeks, "I know. I do too honey."

For the rest of the night they stayed like that.

Natasha holding James close, comforting him the best she could while trying not to break down herself.

Seeking company in what was left of their family.

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Five weeks later, Steve's body had still not been found.

Natasha hadn't slept in weeks. She couldn't. Not without nightmares that made her shake with fear.

So instead, she would stay up all night, James laying across her chest as she did everything in her power to ty and find Steve.

But no matter what she did, there was no leads. If he was alive, someone had him.

And even that seemed like an unlikely scenario.

After five weeks of her denial, Clint and Tony finally convinced her that it was time to have the funeral. If not for her then for James...he needed some sort of closure if he was ever going to be able to grieve properly.

"I won't be able to keep myself together Clint. Please take care of him at the funeral. I can't do it myself," Natasha asked when Clint picked the two of them up for the funeral.

Clint nodded, his eyes filled with sorrow for his friend, "Of course Natasha. Anything you need, I'm here for."

Natasha nodded, "Thank you."

James came downstairs slowly, "Mama I don't wanna go," He said, tears filling his eyes.

Natasha kneeled down before him and took his hands in hers delicately, "Honey we've gotta go."

James's lip quivered, "I don't want to say goodbye to daddy yet."

Natasha's heart shattered inside, "I'll be with you the whole time baby. We can do it together."

Tears filled in James'eyes, the ones that looked so alike to Steve's, "Promise?"

Natasha nodded, "I promise."

James clung to Natasha's neck and she lifted him up carefully, cradling his head as they walked to Clint's car to drive to the funeral.

Because they still didn't have a body, it was going to be a service at the docks by the Avengers compound.

They had agreed to make it highly exclusive and had set up a small memorial with one of his old shields and a picture of him.

When they got to the docks, Natasha's feet felt like cement blocks. Each step she took felt like one step further away from Steve.

But she kept walking. If not for herself, then for James.

Even if she knew she would never be over the loss of her husband, he at least deserved the chance to say goodbye.

Walking to the front of the dock, Natasha could barely hold it together as she looked at Steve's photo. Only five weeks ago, she had seen his smile in person...and now the only memory of him was in pictures.

Natasha gave James's hand a squeeze as Sam began giving the eulogy.

"I hate that we all had to come here today. It's a terrible tragedy that we lost Steve. He was a great hero, and an even better man. He did so much good for the world - saved so many people - and yet he once told me that his greatest accomplishment was his family. That's why no one will ever be able to replace him. The world lost a great man today. A great hero, a great friend, a great father, and a great husband. Natasha I've never seen as strong of a bond as I did with you and Steve. You two had a love that even death can't seperate."

Natasha bit her lip, trying not to lose it in front of everyone.

"The last thing I wanna say is that Steve is still here with us. Even if not physically, he'll always be remembered by us and everyone around the world who he's helped. What you leave behind can sometimes be more important then anything, and Steve sure as hell left a great legacy," Sam finished, looking down sadly as he made his way back to the crowd.

One by one, the avengers and their families went up and said their goodbyes in private.

Eventually, Natasha had no choice but to walk up with James. Clint followed them, knowing that Natasha would want a moment alone.

James frowned when he saw the picture and put his hand on the glass, "I miss you daddy. If you can still make it home, it would make me and mama really happy. I love you to Uncle Thor's house and back." 

Natasha watched tearfully as James reached into his pocket and pulled out a small drawing of their family and placed it against his shield.

"Bye daddy." James whispered, before turned around and hugging Natasha as he cried.

Natasha rubbed her back as an attempt to comfort him but ultimately knew there was nothing she could do to ease his sadness.

"James, baby, can you go with Uncle Clint for a minute? Mama needs to say goodbye too," Natasha whispered quietly, wiping James tears gently.

James nodded, probably sensing that his mother was as upset as he was, and Clint walked him away from the docks. Leaving Natasha completely alone.

"I never thought that this was going to happen to us," Natasha whispered, running her hand over the shield that had protected her so many times.

"Once we stopped going on missions, I thought that the fear of losing you to a bullet was irrational because we had settled down. We had the life that we both always dreamed of. But now you're gone. And we couldn't even find your body to give you a real funeral. Everything is a mess without you. James misses you and asks for you every night. And I can't get any closure because I don't even know for sure that you're gone."

Natasha's tears were uncontrollable now as she shook her head, "If you're still out there, I'm going to find you one day. And if you're not, then I don't know what to do anymore."

She could hardly speak anymore through her tears so Natasha hung her head, shaking slightly as she sobbed silently, "I just really miss you. You were the love of my life and no one's ever going to be able to make me as happy as you did."

Natasha reached into her pocket and pulled out the compass they had found on him.

"I was going to leave this here in memory of you but I don't know if I can. I have other things to remember you by but I can't bring myself to lose this too. I miss you. And I hope you know that I'll never stop loving you."

Natasha closed her eyes and sighed, trying to get herself under control before walking back to James and Clint, placing a sorrowful kiss on his cheek as she lifted him up.

"You ready?" Clint asked.

Natasha nodded and got into the car quietly.

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That night, Natasha couldn't even being herself to go into her and Steve's bedroom.

Instead, she had opted to sleep on the couch with James.

She wore on of Steve's hoodies and stared at the compass for hours as James slept besides her.

She couldn't help but wonder how Steve had died. And if he really had.

Had it been painful? Quick?

The thought made horrifying images flash through her mind but she simply couldn't be at ease knowing that his body had probably been dissected by Hydra.

Around three AM, Natasha decided to put on her and Steve's wedding video, wanting to remember how happy she had been.

Tony had been the one filming it, and you could tell just by the way it was filmed.

She watched the video with teary eyes and twirled the ring on her finger as she wished that she would wake up and find that this was all a nightmare.

Eventually her tears made it nearly impossible for her to watch, and the quiet sobs she had been holding in for weeks were getting louder as her head fell into her hands and she cried.

She cried so much that she almost didn't hear the sound of the door opening behind her.

Quickly grabbing her gun, Natasha aimed her gun at the door, struggling to see who it was through her tears.

"Nat?"

Natasha nearly dropped the gun, but she didn't. Still holding it pointed at the figure before her.

"Natasha, it's me. It's Steve." He said, limping towards her.

Natasha's hands trembled, "You're dead."

Steve shook his head, "No, I'm okay. I got out of there. They had me locked up."

Natasha dropped the gun when Steve's hand rested over her own, "Is it really you?" She whispered.

Steve wiped her tears with his thumb and nodded, his own eyes glossy, "Yeah Nat. It's really me."

Natasha let out a choked laugh of relief and threw her arms around Steve's neck, letting her tears soak his shirt as she ran her hands over him as if to make sure he was really there.

"We had your funeral today Steve. I thought you were dead. We all thought you were dead," Natasha said, her fingers tracing his face delicately.

Steve frowned, "I'm sorry Natasha. I tried to get out of there every day for three weeks and then I was in the middle of the woods without service. I had to steal a car to get here."

Natasha shook her head, "I don't care. You're alive."

Steve nodded and Natasha pulled him to her, kissing him with everything she had. Pouring her love and sorrow into one that one kiss.

"I love you so much Natasha." Steve whispered.

Natasha kissed him again, "I love you too, but no more missions. I can't handle you dying again." She said, half joking and half completely serious.

Steve nodded, "That's fine by me."

Natasha's eyes widened for a moment, "James...should we wake him up?"

Steve nodded, "Can we?"

Natasha nodded and kneeled down besides the couch, gently shaking James's shoulder.

"James, honey wake up."

James's eyes fluttered open and he frowned, "What mama?"

Natasha smiled softly, "Daddy's okay. He's home."

James sat up quickly, now noticing Steve behind his mother.

He didn't say a word before jumping into his father's arms and crying as Steve rubbed his back and apologized for taking so long.

"Don't leave us again daddy. I missed you too much."

Steve nodded, "I won't. I promise I'm not going anywhere."

James sniffled, "Good. Mama and I were very sad without you."

Steve forced a smile, "Don't worry bud. I'm here to stay. I love you guys too much to leave again."

James nodded and clung to Steve's neck for a while until he fell asleep.

Natasha couldn't bring herself to let go of Steve's hand either, but she was exhausted.

And Steve was as well, not having slept well since his disappearance.

"What do you say we head on up to bed?" He asked Natasha, who had begun to lean against him as support.

Natasha nodded and they went up to their bedroom.

Laying James down on the bed, Steve laid besides him and Natasha laid next to Steve, her head on his chest and her hand gripping his tightly.

"I love you Nat." Steve whispered, kissing her forehead as her eyes fluttered shut.

"I love you too Steve. Thank you for coming home to us." She whispered.

Steve sighed and wrapped one arm around Natasha and the other around James.

No matter what, he decided, he was always going to find a way to make it home to his family.

Hey guys. This is 4000 words because I knew that you would all hate me if I didn't give it a happy ending so I did.

I also figured that because we've all had enough of a sad night with Scarlett loosing both categories at the Oscars, I could give you guys a little bit of happiness.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please vote and comment!😁