After Endgame, Thor and some of the other avengers find out a way to bring Natasha back, only for her to find out that Steve stayed in the past.

(It's been a while since I did a depressing one shot so here it is😬)

She was back. With the help of Thor's power, Bruce's smarts, and a device that the guardians found, Natasha was alive.

Natasha was grateful to be back, but she didn't want to hang around Bruce, Thor and the others much longer after catching up.

She wanted to go see Clint and Steve, and then she needed to make a visit to Tony's memorial.

"Thank you guys. For bringing me back. But I really need to go see Clint and his family."

Thor nodded. "Of course Lady Widow. It was nice to see you again and I hope we will meet again soon."

She hugged Thor goodbye and then Bruce. "Stay safe Bruce." She told him before walking off.

She found a rental car and then started driving for Clint's house.

She got there close to midnight.

She had to knock on the door several times before the door opened.

"Natasha?" Clint said, standing in the door frame with his mouth open.

"Hey. Miss me?"

Clint blinked quickly, wondering if this was a hallucination. "You...You died. How are you back?"

Natasha laughed sarcastically. "Honestly I don't even know. Bruce and Thor did something and now I'm here."

Clint hugged her and tried to stop the tears that were forming in his eyes. "I can't believe you're really here."

Natasha hugged him back. "Well I am so are you gonna let me in or are we gonna stand in the cold all night." She said laughing.

Clint let go of Natasha and invited her inside.

"Laura and the kids...can I go get them? They all miss you."

Natasha nodded, excited to see them all.

Clint quickly went up stairs and Natasha waited patiently.

There was a loud crash from upstairs and she heard loud footsteps running down the steps.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila yelled, jumping into Natasha's arms.

"Hi! Oh my goodness you are so big.  I missed you!" Natasha said, trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes.

Cooper was the next to come bounding down the steps. He didn't say anything, he just joined in on the young going on between Natasha and his sister.

Natasha laughed and ruffled his hair. "You've grown so much. What are you...15?" She asked, not being able to help the smile on her face.

Cooper nodded and continued hugging her.

Laura and Clint walked down stairs next. Clint was holding a tired Nathaniel.

She set Lila down gently and walked towards the boy. "There's my little namesake. You probably don't remember me..." Natasha said, tilting her head so she could make eye contact with him.

He smiled and reached his arms towards her. "Aunt Natasha!"

Natasha laughed and took Nathaniel into her arms, still fighting the tears building up in her throat.

She eventually put Nathaniel down and hugged Laura, who was very emotional. "I'm so glad you're okay Natasha. When Clint told us what happened, we were all devestated."

Natasha hugged her back. "Yeah well, you guys were gone for five years too. I'm just glad everyone is back."

Laura agreed and the whole family sat together in the living room.

Natasha sat on the couch with the three kids all piled on top of her, fighting to be next to her. Nathaniel was in her lap, hugging her neck, Lila was holding tightly to her left arm and leaning her head on Natasha's shoulder, and Cooper was sitting on her right side with his head on her other shoulder.

Clint and Laura sat together in a chair across from the couch.

They all talked about what had happened since Tony sacrificed himself and kept the conversation light hearted.

Natasha and the kids talked about their school and Cooper told Natasha all about the girl he had a crush on.

She was enjoying it, but really needed to talk to Clint alone.

Laura sensed this and eventually told Lila and Cooper to go upstairs to bed, promising them that Natasha would be there in the morning.

Nathaniel had already fallen asleep in Natasha's lap so they didn't bother moving him upstairs. She certainly didn't mind holding him.

Laura understood that Natasha wanted to talk with Clint, so after a few more minutes, she too dismissed herself to bed.

Natasha started off at an attempt to reassure Clint. "I hope you didn't blame yourself. I know you probably did, but you shouldn't have." Natasha said quietly.

Clint sighed. "How could I not Natasha? It was you or me and I wasn't good enough to insure that it was me."

"It wouldn't have mattered what you did. Do you really think I would've let you do it? There wasn't a chance. Look around at everything you'd of been missing out on."

Clint hung his head. "I know. I'm extremely grateful for that. Just not that I had to lose you in the process...Steve took it the hardest you know."

Natasha's head popped up at the mention of him. "He did?"

Clint nodded. "After the final battle, he didn't come out of his room for weeks until he went to return the stones."

Natasha frowned. "Is there- do you have his phone number or anything? After I leave here I really need to see him..." She said before Clint frowned.

"Natasha..."

She interrupted him. "I don't mean to rush out of here but I was thinking I might leave tommorow night. I'll be back of course but-"

"Natasha!" He said louder.

She paused and looked up at him.

"Steve...he's not here anymore."

Natasha frowned. "What do you mean? Thor said the only one we lost in the battle was Tony." She said, panic lacing her words.

"No, he's not dead." Clint sighed, shaking his head. "Natasha when Steve went back to return the stones, he stayed in the past. Apparently he got married. Lived the life he always wanted before the ice."

Natasha felt like someone was standing on her throat. She couldn't breath. She couldn't think. All she could do was sit there, staring at Clint in disbelief.

"Natasha? Are you ok?"

She shook her head and a tear formed in the corner of her eye. She quickly wiped it away.

She had missed her chance. When she came back, the one thing she thought she would get a second chance at was gone. He was living the life he deserved.

And it hurt so much more then it should have.

"Natasha. Talk to me."

She tried to make her voice sound unaffected but failed. "I love him." She whispered, still staring ahead.

Clint frowned, realizing why she had been so eager to see him. "Nat..."

"I love him and all I've ever wanted for him was happiness. But knowing that he has it and that it doesn't involve me at all...it's worse then all the torture I've endured."

Clint moved to sit next to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

Natasha continued. "There was a while where I thought, if there's anyone that could make me forget everything from my past, it would be Steve. I thought maybe he felt the same but I guess I thought wrong." Natasha added with a dry chuckle.

Clint shook his head. "You weren't wrong Natasha. Steve, he loved you too. Those weeks where you were dead, he looked excactly how you do right now. I tried to comfort him."

Clint took a deep breath. "He told me, 'If I hadn't waited so long to tell her, maybe she would still be here. I loved her more then anything, and I would trade my entire life to have her back.' Natasha he loved you so much." Clint said, feeling terrible for both of his friends.

More tears fell down Natasha's cheeks and she cradled the young boy in her lap gently to attempt to soothe herself.

"He's still alive Natasha. If you want to you could give him a call..."

Natasha shook her head. "I don't want him to feel the same regret I do. If he really loved me then there's a chance that finding out I'm back will make him regret his decision. I couldn't do that to him."

Clint sighed. "Natasha. Not telling him will only hurt more when he does find out...which he will eventually. Just give him a call." Clint said, handing her his phone with the contact pulled up.

Natasha took the phone, her hand shaking as she did so.

The phone rang four times before he picked up. "This is Steve." A voice said.

Natasha's breath became shaky and she bit her lip to hold in a sob. It was him. He sounded older and more fragile but it was still Steve.

"Hello?" He said.

Natasha took a deep breath. "Steve?"

There was a pause on his side of the line and Natasha tried to control her emotions. "Who is this?" Steve asked, Natasha could almost sense a bit of anger in his tone.

"It's me. Natasha. I'm back." She said quietly.

"Is this some sort of prank? Because it isn't funny." He said, sounding more like an old man.

Natasha shook her head even though he couldn't see her. "No its not. I'm with Clint. He told me what happened after the snap...I just wanted...I wanted to tell you I was alive before you found out from the media. That's all."

Steves voice cracked. "Is it really you Nat?"

Natasha's heart broke again. He sounded so much like the Steve she knew that it was killing her. "Yeah. It's me."

"How?" He asked still sounding so much like the man she loved and so different at the same time.

She forced a laugh. "Honestly I'm not sure."

She could hear Steve sigh. "I really missed you Natasha. Everything I did after your death was either for you or because of you. You haven't left my mind or heart in 75 years."

Tears streamed down Natasha's cheeks and she swallowed another sob. "And you'll never leave mine." She promised.

They didn't need to say it. Steve knew, he could hear the brokenness in her voice, the way she paused before saying something. He knew how she felt.

And Natasha, she knew he loved her too. But he had gotten a new life, and she was happy for him, even if it meant she would spend the rest of hers miserable.

Steve sighed again. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Please don't be. Just answer me one thing...were you happy? Going back to live the life you never got?"

"As happy as I could have been without you in my life."

Natasha nodded her head. "Good. I've uh gotta go now. It's late and I have a few more phone calls to make. Maybe I'll come visit sometime." She said, not sure if that would be a good thing or not.

"You should. I would love to see you again. Goodnight Natasha. Sleep well."

Natasha hung up and dropped the phone onto the couch before letting her sobs overtake her.

Whatever chance she had at a happy life with Steve was gone now. But at least he was happy, she kept telling herself.

But no matter what she told herself about being happy for him, one thing stayed the same.

Losing her chance then him was the most painful thing she could imagine, and it wasn't going to heal anytime soon.

Guess what's back!!!

Depressing chapters where everyone ends up sad!

Sorry🙁

If you enjoyed this please leave a comment and vote and tell me what you thought.

Now I'm gonna try and go to sleep without thinking about how Natasha is basically going to go through the same thing Steve went though when he woke up and Peggy was old and had already lived a life with someone else.

Happy Thursday.

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