romanogers part 3

fandom: girl meets world

set: junior year

timeline: separate (romanogers series)

tw: alcohol

summary: maya and lucas reflect on what really happened way back at the ski lodge, and maya has to fess up to shawn.

word count: 1,947

notes: i'm two hours and forty-four minutes late, and there's actually going to be one more short (probably) part, but I guess we're just gonna go with it.

Her tears quickly waned, and as soon as they had, she regretted crying them at all, a strange apathy for the things that had just gone down coming over her.

She pulled back and wiped the mascara from under her eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. "Thanks, Huckleberry," she said with a weak smile. "You're a good crying pillow."

He returned the smile as he looked down at her. "Glad to be of service, Shortstack." A hesitation before, "You gonna be okay?"

She exhaled slowly as they began to walk in the direction of the subway again. "Yeah. He was always a fantasy anyway. I never really thought it was gonna happen."

"But it's his fault you did later."

"Yeah." She shook her head a little thinking back on it. "I didn't really know what to do with it when he did. And all that stuff he said to me back there... I don't really think it was true. I just wanted to believe him because it made everything easier."

"What stuff?" Lucas asked.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Maya knew she should stop talking, but she answered anyway. "About how I only liked you to make sure you were good enough for Riley and everything. I mean... what? I'm not allowed to like a nice guy?" She let out a short laugh. "What does that say about him?"

The boy beside her chuckled in his own right. "Not good things, I'll tell ya that much." A pause, then, "So are you saying you really liked me for you?"

And she realized why her mind had been telling her to stop. She opened her mouth, closed it again, and let out a long breath. "I'm drunk, Huckleberry. Don't use my runaway mouth against me."

"I'm not trying to use anything against you, Maya," he told her seriously. "I'd just like to know."

"Oh." She looked at the ground and shrugged a little. "Then yeah. I guess that was what I was saying."

"Yeah?"

Immediate regret washed over her. "I mean, I..."

"Cuz you know, I didn't only like you or say I did so I wouldn't hurt your feelings."

"Oh." She angrily shoved down the nervous feeling rising in her chest. "Really?"

"Please," he scoffed. "Honestly, I think I knew deep down then Riley and I wouldn't really work. But like you said... I just kinda... took the easy way out."

"Huh."

She thought back to the couples they'd had back then and how sure they'd been that they were right.

Farkle and Smackle, who seemed made for each other, destined to be together forever, until Isadora moved and the two decided a long-distance relationship simply wasn't logical... and then both admitted that maybe they were better off as friends and rivals anyway... that maybe they'd forced their relationship to something more because they'd thought they had to be with someone like them, when maybe they didn't.

Then there was Lucas and Riley. Perfect. A fairytale. But it didn't take them not being able to hold a conversation or look at each other without being awkward for them dating to change things within the group. From the very getgo, they'd seemed so... jumpy... quick to hope for forever and slow to commit to each other at the same time. They'd also quickly gotten on each other's nerves, and Maya had to wonder how no one had seen that coming. Riley was just too much for Lucas sometimes, but being her boyfriend instead of just her friend meant that, that was no longer okay. And whenever Lucas stepped outside of the Prince Charming mold Riley held him in, in her mind, she reacted poorly. Both of them were being boxed in by the other. They'd basically broken up when Riley thought she was moving. Never really gotten back together. Made it official a month later.

And then there was Josh and Maya. A fantasy. A puppet and his puppeteer. Ending in shouts and tears and drunken calls in the very boy Josh had pulled her away from back at that ski lodge.

It would seem high school freshmen didn't know quite as much as they thought they did.

They reached the subway station and headed underground, and Maya realized they'd been quiet for sometime. The next train was due in a few minutes, and the station was surprisingly empty, with only scattered groups waiting for a ride.

So they found an empty spot and stared into space, silent for another long moment.

"Lucas?"

"Hmm?"

Once again, there was voice in the back of her mind telling her to shut up, but once again, she ignored it. "Do you think we're... allowed to... try again? And maybe... not take the easy way this time?"

"I think," he answered softly. "That maybe we should stop letting other people tell us what we're allowed to do when it comes to... this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Another moment of silence.

"Do you wanna kiss me?"

It came out before she realized was she was saying, and when it had, she stopped breathing.

Lucas looked down at her with an expression of pure and simple care for her in his eyes. "Yeah." He said it so casually, so softly, that she could hardly believe it was real. "But not while you're drunk, Shortstack."

She smiled a little, dropping her eyes again and feeling color rise in her cheeks. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

time-skip sponsored by hogwarts

They didn't talk much the rest of the ride and walk back to her apartment. But his jacket found its way onto her shoulders, and then his arm found its way around them. She almost forgot about how awful the night had been with the comfort of his warmth next to her.

But then, they were climbing her apartment steps, and it all hit her all over again.

Maybe they'd still be out. Maybe she could slip in and go to bed and answer questions when she'd sobered up in the morning.

Lucas released her, but stayed a step behind her, making it clear he wasn't going to leave until he knew she was safe inside.

Praying for a break, she slid her key into the lock and turned.

The light inside made her heart sink.

The sight of Shawn, sitting on the couch, looking up from his phone, made her sick to her stomach... even more than she already was.

He brow creased when he saw her, obviously not expecting her this early. "Hey, Kiddo." The confusion deepened when he realized the wrong boy was behind her. "Lucas?"

The Texan nodded to him. "Evening." Then, he looked at Maya and offered her a small, encouraging smile. "Good luck, Shortstack. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Huckleberry," she whispered while biting back tears of shame.

And he turned and walked away down the hallway. Maya closed the door behind him before reluctantly turning back in the direction of her step father, who was watching her carefully.

"Where's Mom?" she asked to delay the inevitable.

"Turned in early."

"Oh." She swallowed hard. "Cool."

"Yeah..." He looked her up and down, glanced back at the door, then focused on her again. "So... what's with the switcheroo?" He sniffed a little. "And the tequila?"

Maya bit her lip, stared at the ground, and said nothing.

Shawn sighed. "Look, Kid, whatever you did, I guarantee I've done worse. And if you sit down and tell me the truth, we may not have to involve your mother."

Her eyes slid back up to his. "Really?" It came out terribly small.

He inclined his head a little. "No promises. But yeah."

With what felt like lead in her shoes, she crossed the room and dropped down on the couch. The rapid motion made her head spin and her stomach turn.

"So you're drunk," the man beside her stated plainly.

She sighed. "So, yeah."

He nodded slowly. "Been there. How drunk?"

"Barely."

He hissed a little. "The worst kind."

"Yeah, it's pretty awful."

"Yeah, I bet it is." He allowed a moment of silence before asking, "So how'd ya get drunk?"

"You want the full story?"

"Better not be anything else."

So it all came out in a rush, from the beer to the game to the shots to the throwing the shot and storming out to the boys to the calling Lucas to the seeing Josh lip-locked with another girl. The only part she left out was the content of her and Lucas's final conversation. By the end of it, her leg was bouncing uncontrollably and her head was pounding even worse and water was beginning to leak out of her eyes yet again.

Shawn listened to all of it carefully and quietly, not even injecting to express the anger which darkened his face as she told him each new thing Josh had done that night.

"I'm really, really sorry," she choked out as the story drew to a close. "I know I did everything I wasn't supposed to do, and I know I knew better, and I know I was an idiot, I just... I just... sometimes I can't help it. It's like I have to do the stupid things even if I know I'll hate myself for them later. Which I know sounds so messed up, I just... I don't know."

Shawn exhaled slowly. "Kid, it doesn't sound messed up. It sounds like me. Okay? I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't have to be happy with the choices you made to understand exactly why you made them."

She just pressed her eyes closed and gave into the tears running down her face.

"And I'm not gonna say you didn't do anything wrong tonight," her step-father continued. "But a lot more blame is on Josh than you. He and I will be having a talk about that very soon. For tonight, I'm just glad you're okay."

"If I wasn't, it would be my own fault," she mumbled ashamedly.

"No." She looked up at the decidedness of the word. "It doesn't matter if you're drunk or unconscious or anything else, Kid. If someone decides to hurt you, that's on them. All on them. Not on you. You got that?"

Maya stared at him for a long moment, but she couldn't argue with the seriousness in his eyes. "I guess so."

"Good." He motioned her closer with a jerk of his head. "Now come 'mere."

She obediently slid across the gap between them and buried her face in his shirt, her arms wrapped around his chest. He returned the hug fiercely, his arms wrapped tight around her little body as she cried into him.

"You're not surprised, are you?" she choked out after a minute or so.

He considered that a second before shaking his head a bit. "Not completely."

"Just mad?"

"No, Kiddo. I'm not mad."

"Disappointed?"

Once again, he considered that. "Maybe a little," he conceded finally. A pause. "But that doesn't mean I love you any less."

He looked up at him with tear-stained face at the choice of words and he smiled ruefully.

"I mean, it doesn't mean I care about you very much any less."

She managed a little smile. "The first one was okay too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Then I love you, Kiddo."

"I love you too." Her turn to hesitate. "Dad."

He squeezed her a bit tighter for a long moment before finally releasing her. "Now go put on your pajamas and drink some water while I make you soup."

"I don't really want soup."

"I know. But you're gonna eat in anyway."

"Yeah, okay."

I love Shawn Hunter more than I can express with the English language. In case I hadn't said so lately. If you're on Wattpad or Tumblr, please drop a comment or a million. If you're on Ao3, I'm sobbing over the fact that I had to turn them. People who didn't understand the Ao3 tagging system and didn't want to learn decided to harass me until I had to, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. If you hop over to another site to let me know you were here, I will literally sob and love you forever. Love you all forever anyway. Happy Halloween!

- Line <3